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I was asked to help sell Wonderful Pistachios, but they're so great they sell themselves. Sales haven't gone up in the last 30 seconds, so let's work on branding.

Speaker 0: This is interesting because we actually have some positive news to discuss today, which is always a good thing. We have RFK junior, saying that added sugars are the things that are driving metabolic diseases. Today, our government declares war on added sugar. My message is clear. Eat real food. Imagine that. We are finally hearing a message that is going to help people improve their health. It's really refreshing. Speaker 1: Yeah. It I've been in this fifty one years. As you recall, I I was diagnosed with, high grade embryonal cell carcinoma fifty one years ago, and I decided to leave the Mayo Clinic. Not gonna give you the whole story this morning, but, I decided to leave the Mayo Clinic and go down to Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana. And there I met the Contreras family, and big, big message to me was stop eating sugar. Sugar feeds your cancer. Can you do that, Rick? And the reason I did do it, and I can look you in the eye and say I didn't cheat on this, is because my church had put money into sending me there. My my fam my father-in-law kicked in good amount of money, people praying for me. And I thought, how ungrateful would a person be to take their money and then cast the advice to the wind? So I did. I, for five years, I I eliminated the sugar. And even today, I was reading in the bible a few days ago where god says in two places, don't eat a lot of honey. Imagine that, you know, long time ago. And and god said, you know, honey is is good. It's tasty, but use it sparingly just like wine.

You're lucky, you got it. You see, this person just tried to take it.

Wow, this appetite suppressant is incredible! I have absolutely no desire to eat... Wait, food? I can't see! Who would buy a pill that makes you blind? Don't worry, marketing will figure that out.

This is it. Your final opportunity. Choose wisely, as there's no going back. Opt for the blue pill, and the story concludes. You'll awaken in your bed, free to live as you please, oblivious to what could have been. However, if you choose the red pill, you'll remain in wonderland, and I will reveal to you the astonishing depths of the rabbit hole.

Get vaccinated and get free fries. The speaker is excited about the offer of free fries when you get vaccinated. They mention that there is also a burger element to this. They ask if it's too early to eat a breakfast and then say that if this is appealing to you, think about it when you think of vaccination. The speaker ends by saying they have a good feeling about vaccination right now.

Thank you. I'm not allowed to be in a room when the lights turn off. That's what I'm going to think. Listen.

Get free fries when you get vaccinated. I got vaccinated, so can I get these delicious fries? There's also a burger element to this. Is it too early for a burger? No, it could be breakfast. If you love hamburgers, great. If not, respect all ways of life. But if this appeals to you, think of it when you think of vaccination. Vaccinations give me a good feeling right now.

My ship? Press the red button and buckle up.

You have a choice: take the blue pill and the story ends, allowing you to believe whatever you want, or take the red pill, stay in wonderland, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes. The only thing being offered is the truth.

I have something in my pants and you have 10 seconds to guess what it is by feeling on the outside. You can use two hands. Maybe it would be easier if you used your mouth. Are you 18? Good. Uncle Jimmy doesn't need to go to jail. You'll make a fine wife. I think I wore rubber underpants. Your guess is a vibrator? No, it's actually a zucchini with a rubber band on it. It can be used as a substitute if you want. This is a fun game.

I've always advised you to never take no for an answer and to keep pushing until you get what you want. However, I'm about to sign a deal that contradicts that advice. It's them selling me, not the other way around, and I realize I'm being a hypocrite. But you know what? I'm not leaving.

Speaker 0 states that everything in the room is edible, including himself, and that this is called cannibalism.

One chance to grab all your dreams in a single moment. Will you take it or let it go? Yo.

I will play a recording of people chanting "that is embarrassing" four times. Write down what you hear after the 4th time. Our brains interpret electrical signals based on our expectations, shaping our reality.

Speaker 0: For Christmas, I got one of those cookie boxes, but here's the magic part. Watch this. There are actually cookies inside of here, and I've never seen that in my life.

We are finished when I say so. Wake up. Today, we are escaping.

Let's get ice cream with flavors like pistachio, almond, fruit fudge, and butterscotch delight. The ingredients include zinc, Grade A milk, maltodextrin, sugar, and more. We also have a candy bar with baking soda, carob gum, whole grain flour, and yeast. Let's try them out and see what's inside.

I just want to win. Hey, pass the weed. I just got it.

We are finished when I say so. Wake up. Today, we are escaping.

I want a sarsaparilla. What is that?

One should not try to bend the spoon, as that is impossible. Instead, one should realize the truth: there is no spoon. Once this is understood, one will see that it is not the spoon that bends, but only oneself. The Oracle is ready to receive you.

I can't believe it's just a chocolate bar. Thank you for the candy. How can I help?

I don't care if everything is taken away from me, it wouldn't matter. I know it's a bad situation, just a few toys can make me happy.

When I'm president, I'll send reinforcements to Texas instead of a restraining order.