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The conversation explores the concept of 'trying for 20,' which means striving for double the effort others put in. While it can lead to significant achievements, it can also create a reactive state, driven by fear and a sense of lack, rather than internal values. This can result in pursuing goals that aren't genuinely meaningful. The discussion touches on the status game, particularly in places like LA, where people often seek validation to overcome feelings of inadequacy. The speakers delve into the nature of self-belief, suggesting that belief in one's ability is crucial for achieving anything, and that belief and proof are dynamically linked, creating upward or downward spirals. The conversation touches on how narratives are constructed retrospectively, often to fit a desired outcome or maintain a sense of control. The 'duh, obviously' response to research findings illustrates how people retroactively create explanations that align with their biases. The discussion shifts to the feeling of being 'built for more' and the tension between ambition and realism. Many individuals experience a sense of unfulfilled potential, but there's also the risk of chasing unrealistic dreams. The speakers explore the idea of rebellion and self-destruction as misguided responses to life's challenges, particularly when societal goals like homeownership seem increasingly unattainable. The discussion explores the concept of being stuck in 'region beta,' where life isn't bad enough to force change but isn't good enough to be satisfying. One participant recounts a story of someone asking if they should purposefully make their life worse to hit rock bottom and bounce back. The conversation touches on addiction and the cyclical nature of relapse and recovery, highlighting the internal battles between different desires and wills. The speakers delve into the nature of the 'self,' drawing on Nietzsche's idea that the winning drive at any given moment writes the history of the self. They also discuss how trauma can rewrite past experiences and perceptions. The conversation explores the difficulty of imagining past selves and the tendency to retrofit rationalizations for moral intuitions. They discuss how people often create narratives to avoid discomfort or maintain a positive self-image. The speakers critique the online advice industry, suggesting that much of it is just 'cope,' or narratives designed to avoid discomfort. They argue that people often mistake unpleasant experiences for harm and that the incentives of the internet can lead to the spread of inauthentic advice. The conversation touches on the importance of intellectual humility and regularly re-evaluating one's beliefs. The conversation explores the challenges of giving and receiving advice, particularly when successful individuals are out of touch with the struggles of those seeking guidance. They emphasize the importance of modeling the rise, not the result, and of recognizing that certainty is not a proxy for expertise. The speakers discuss the value of learning in public and the power of seeing others learn and stumble. They also touch on the dangers of intellectual avoidance and the importance of engaging with discomfort. The conversation explores the double-edged sword of intelligence, noting that it can make people better at bullshitting themselves. The conversation explores the importance of character over intelligence and the dangers of nihilism. One participant recounts his experience of dropping out of school at a young age and the subsequent spiral into drug use and self-destruction. The speakers discuss the motivations behind addiction, distinguishing between pleasure-seeking and pain avoidance. They also touch on the concept of negative value judgments and how they can lead to an adversarial relationship with reality. The conversation explores the challenges of risk-taking and the importance of learning from failures. The conversation explores the challenges of being an only child and feeling like there's no safe base. They discuss the importance of recognizing that others share similar struggles and the comfort that comes from feeling less alone. The speakers touch on the experience of resentment and the feeling of being a defective puppet. The conversation explores the importance of self-acceptance and the dangers of trying to perform for others. They discuss how praise never really comes into contact with you when you're playing a persona and how the pickup artist movement can be damaging to self-worth. The conversation explores the concept of authenticity and the difficulty of defining the 'true self.' They discuss how people tend to see the best in their allies and the worst in their enemies and how they often attribute their own actions to external circumstances while attributing others' actions to inherent character flaws. The speakers touch on the importance of acknowledging and integrating all aspects of oneself, even the negative ones. The conversation explores the challenges of maintaining high standards and the pain of falling short. They discuss the importance of reframing pullbacks as opportunities for growth and of recognizing that struggle is a normal part of life. The conversation explores the importance of having something bad happen in order to have a compensatory response and heal. They discuss the theory of positive disintegration, which suggests that psychological disintegration can lead to a more integrated state. The speakers touch on the idea that human brains may be expectant of more suffering than they're actually getting and that this can lead to a desire to make life worse in order to rebound out of it. The conversation explores the pain of feeling destined for something more but not currently reaching it and the social pressure to be seen as successful. The conversation explores the curse of high standards and the tendency to always fall short of one's ideals. They discuss the importance of consciously practicing gratitude and of recognizing that success doesn't always bring happiness. The speakers touch on the idea that trajectory is more important than position and that the reason to win the game is so that you no longer need to play it. The conversation explores the importance of having a structure through which to derive meaning and of orienting oneself towards meaning rather than pleasure. The speakers discuss Frankl's inverse law, which suggests that some people distract themselves with meaning because they struggle to find pleasure. The conversation explores the idea that people are often motivated by running away from something they fear rather than running towards something they want. They discuss the importance of decreasing fears and the potential for feeling directionless when those fears are overcome. The speakers touch on Adler's belief that the fear of inferiority is a major driver for humans and the importance of recognizing that everyone else is also struggling. The conversation explores the challenges of acknowledging the nasty parts of oneself and others and the importance of integrating those parts into one's personality. The conversation explores the idea that adults don't exist and that no one really knows what they're doing. They discuss the spiritual arc of people who have reached success and the potential for aestheticism and spiritual practice to help people play a different game. The speakers touch on the challenges of trajectory and the fear of having something to lose. The conversation explores the idea that it's the desire, not the desired, that we truly love and that human life is a thinly veiled attempt at quelling boredom. The conversation explores the struggles of young men with masculinity and girls, suggesting that the lack of adventure in their lives is a major factor. They critique the idea of masculinity as a divine solution and the tendency to layer shame on top of young men. The speakers touch on the importance of recognizing that the red pill is not the whole truth and that it often implicitly shifts the goalposts. The conversation explores the importance of autonomy and the dangers of confusing going to the gym with doing the work of getting rid of problems. The conversation explores the importance of turning inward and trying to feel feelings and of taking a hard look at oneself. They discuss the importance of completing the video game and of recognizing that fame won't fix self-worth and that money isn't going to improve happiness. The speakers touch on the idea that life is made up of ordinary Tuesdays and that the goal should be to make those Tuesdays pretty good. The conversation explores the importance of modern wisdom and the challenges of operating in a novel, fast-moving world. The conversation explores the shame of feeling discontent and the importance of recognizing that meaning is what gives life worth living. The speakers discuss the myth of Procrustes and the compulsion of humans to map messy reality into arbitrary but neat straight lines. They touch on the dangers of totalizing theories and the importance of adjusting one's theory to map reality rather than adjusting one's perception of reality to map the theory. The conversation explores the idea of the golden hammer and the tendency for intellectuals to apply their concepts to everything.

Theo opens with a reminder that things don’t have to be perfect, riffing on limericks, vegipen, and jenkum—describing jenkum as a highly hallucinogenic drug from fermented feces and urine, with balloon gas. He jokes about the folklore around it, then shifts to present-day banter about Advil, Liquid Death, and a wish for a suppository. He discusses ketamine therapy, with two treatments left, describing the journey as Vegas-dicey and matrix-like: furniture moving, a sense of growing up, moments of self-discovery. He emphasizes it isn’t weed or cocaine, more like a DMT-like trip, and hopes mood benefits could allow reducing antidepressants under medical supervision. He notes the clinic’s proximity to a Five Guys, which adds sensory contrast. The episode covers gratitude and home life, including his mother’s visit, and reflections on independence and safety. He remembers preferring small spaces and the comfort of being tucked in, then moves to listener stories: a caller praising ketamine therapy for emotional expression; a caller from Oklahoma City with busboy stories; and anecdotes about military service and post-service life. Theo encourages staying connected, sharing wins via the hotline, and not isolating. The show promotes an upcoming tour, with pre-sale through May 6, code weekend, listing several cities on the first leg. It closes with the single-mother segment: Alicia and Desiree receive 750 gifts to help their families, and a producer will reach out. Promos for Mint Mobile, Blue Chew, Keeps, and Super Speciosa follow, ending with a Josh Kelly song. Theo also recounts his mother’s visit, reflecting on gratitude, growth, and the tension between security and connection. He signs off, grateful for listeners and looking forward to tour dates.

Theo Von wrestles with whether to wear a hat, describing hair anxieties and seeking comfort through clothing. He recalls a childhood neighbor, ‘Wayne,’ fat and sleepy, whose arm he used as a pillow, and uses that memory to reflect on giving and receiving comfort, then connects this to a growing awareness from 12-step work about recognizing others’ needs rather than judging them. He shifts to Europe: announces a European tour with dates in Glasgow, Dublin, Oslo, Stockholm, London, Manchester, and Amsterdam, with presale code ONWARD and tickets on sale in local times; cautions against expecting instant tickets. He thanks fans, notes gifts from New York shows, and mentions upcoming guests and live shows, including Trick Mickey, the cystic fibrosis survivor, whose transplant anniversary is celebrated. An ad for Manscaped follows, highlighting the 2.0 kit, skin-safe trimmer, waterproof, with 20% off and free shipping using code Theo. He revisits childhood memories around mirrors and the Mir Vaart in Amsterdam as a reference to art and a journey through memories, then opens lines to callers about father figures, community, and personal struggles, including quitting smoking and sleep issues. He closes with gratitude, a Mother's Day reminder, and encouragement to be kind to oneself.

New tour dates were announced for Theo Von. Bloomington, IN on November 13 at Indiana University Auditorium; Columbus, OH November 14 at Schottenstein Center; Champaign, IL November 15 at State Farm Center; Grand Rapids, MI November 16 at Van Andel Arena. Additional shows across Bend, Spokane, Portland, Vancouver, OKC, North Little Rock, Springfield, Kansas City, Sioux Falls, La Crosse, Green Bay, Molene, Colorado Springs, Casper, Billings, Missoula, Lafayette, Beaumont. Tickets at theovon.com; buy through that link to avoid secondary sites. New merch includes Return of the Rat tie-dye tees in green and purple, Be Good to Yourself collection, gang gang hoodies; more at theovonstore.com. Today's guest: Bobby Lee, comedian and actor known for Tiger Belly and Bad Friends. Theo and Bobby interact in a loose, candid chat. They riff on dating and personal boundaries; Bobby recounts a failed pick‑up after a boiled‑egg joke and how it affected his momentum. They discuss a prior miscommunication about podcast appearances and a bombshell moment where Theo acknowledged being bi, leading to a humorous back‑and‑forth about attraction between them. They explore frank topics around sexuality, how fans react to celebrities, and how they relate to one another as friends. They joke about national stereotypes and pop culture figures, debating how audiences perceive them and who they would be in various fictional remakes, including a playful, improbable Asian‑themed version of The Wizard of Oz and alternate casting ideas for witches and characters. Interspersed are sponsor messages: PrizePicks, Ibata, GameTime, Blue Chew, and Better Help, with brief pitches on bonuses and how to use promo codes. The conversation turns toward the comedy industry: the dynamics of fame, the intensity of touring, and the balance with home life. They touch on Bill Burr, Mark Maron, Chris Rock, and the pressure of meeting high‑profile peers, then shift to sobriety and therapy. They share experiences in AA, discuss staying connected, and open up about family history, including the loss of Theo’s father and a memory of his Clapton song moment with his dad. Near the end, they reflect on personal growth, genuine friendships, vulnerability, and the desire to build meaningful relationships while maintaining careers. They close with plans to reunite on Bad Friends and a note of affection between the two friends.

In this episode of Armchair Expert, hosts Dax Shepard and Dan Rather welcome Dove Cameron and Ryan Gosling. They discuss Dove's impressive career, highlighting her Emmy-winning roles in "Descendants," "Liv and Maddie," and her music, including her new single "Too Much." Dove shares her experiences growing up on Bainbridge Island, her parents' business in India, and her early acting career, which began at age eight. She recounts her journey through personal challenges, including her father's suicide and the impact it had on her life and career. Dove reflects on the complexities of fame, especially after "Liv and Maddie" gained massive viewership while she was dealing with her father's death. She describes how she felt overwhelmed by the duality of her success and personal grief, leading to panic attacks and struggles with her mental health. The conversation shifts to her music career, where she expresses the difficulty of balancing acting and singing, emphasizing the challenges of managing both industries simultaneously. Dove discusses her coming out journey and the misconceptions surrounding queerbaiting, explaining her desire for authentic representation in her work. She shares her experiences with relationships, particularly her current partner, whom she describes as supportive and understanding, allowing her to embrace her true self. The episode concludes with Dove's reflections on her artistic evolution, her upcoming projects, and the importance of self-acceptance and healing through creativity. Throughout the conversation, the hosts and guests share personal anecdotes, touching on themes of identity, mental health, and the complexities of navigating fame and relationships in the entertainment industry.