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I've got a little job for you. Would you like to take this Jim or fix it? It's for my friend, and he can handle it himself. Thank you for joining us. It's been quite an experience, and I'm still getting used to it. Good night from everyone here. I see a young lady who wants to help with one of your paintings. That's a great idea! Can I safely leave her in your care? As for me, I'm looking forward to working when I'm 65, maybe as a caretaker at a girls' school or something similar.

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The scene opens with Conductor Clark and Miss Janice welcoming the audience to a reading, with Janice inviting everyone to learn about the letter h, mentioning activities like hula hoop and a “massive global hoax.” The discussion pivots to the Apollo eleven moon landing allegedly taking place on 07/20/1969, with a line from Neil Armstrong: “this is one small step for man,” followed by a mock counterline: “Then one giant lie to mankind.” Ticket Sam, a long-time rail rider, is teased about his story for the kids. Sam promises a real whiz banger: a tale about a president named Kennedy who vowed to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade, while NASA supposedly struggles to get a rocket into space. In response, a plan B is introduced: Stanley Kubrick will be the one to fake a moon landing, using tricks learned from filming 2001: A Space Odyssey. Kubrick teams up with “the mafia,” who will fund a secret soundstage in Las Vegas. While people think they’re in space, the astronauts are kept busy with whores and gambling, and then paid off, brainwashed, or killed. A question about proof of the hoax is raised with a squawk, and the dialogue questions whether there is real proof. The narrative then introduces “Gully Bird” and “Hobo Dan” as voices contributing to the discussion. Hobo Dan explains how he used to fly to the moon all the time, claiming the “only real astronaut” is doctor Timothy Leary. This leads to a reminder of a song line: “This whole moon rocket ain't what it appears to be,” asserting it was “baked in a kiln in Japan.” The piece concludes with thanks to Obo Dan for the prior contribution, labeling the content as fun, credible, and the truth. The session ends by indicating that this is all for now, promising more reading later, and emphasizing that the most important part of reading is Reading Between the Lines.

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In this video, the speakers discuss a plan to straighten the world by making the ice and snow too heavy at the new North Pole. They ask people to send ice and snow to the island of Rikki Tikki. People from all over the world send ice and snow by train, plane, and ship. The plucky squirrel, Rocky, uses silver iodide crystals to make it snow. As Rocky flies over the island, he leaves a curtain of white behind him. The added weight of the snow tilts the island back to normal, and everyone is delighted with the change.

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Speaker 0 greets Mega and asks, 'Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt?' The speaker notes, 'The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.'

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Jim Carrey contacted the speaker, who spent hours talking to him. The speaker accuses others of being afraid and not taking responsibility. The speaker claims that those who harm children will face consequences and cannot escape death. However, the speaker believes it is possible to save one's soul and offers help. Despite the fear of having sold their soul, the speaker believes redemption is possible.

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Comedian Dave Chappelle shares a story about how his friend, the late Norm Macdonald, helped him out of a tough time. Norm arranged for Dave to meet Jim Carrey, whom Dave admired greatly. Jim was immersed in his role as Andy Kaufman for the movie "Man on the Moon," so everyone called him Andy. Although Dave was disappointed that he couldn't meet Jim Carrey, he now realizes how lucky he was to witness such dedication from one of the greatest artists of his time. Dave concludes by saying that this experience relates to how transgender individuals make him feel, without further elaboration.

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Anna, a Detroit native, is excited because her favorite football team, the Lions, are playing. She shows off her custom jersey and hopes that Barry Sanders, a former player, sees it. Anna mentions that she spent real money on the jersey and offers to make a new one for Barry. She also mentions that other celebrities have done similar things. Anna's ultimate hope is for the Lions to make it to the Super Bowl.

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Welcome to Story Time from Space, a magical place that not everyone can experience. The importance of space and the next generation of space travel is emphasized, with the belief that it is vital for our future. Rejections and challenges are overcome, leading to the realization that what was once considered impossible becomes reality. Living in space is described as a superhero-like experience, filled with excitement and fun. The dreams and imagination of young kids are celebrated, as they inspire the exploration of space. The exhibit "Moving Beyond Earth" showcases fictional stories that align with the dreams of space exploration. The message is clear: no dream is impossible, and the spirit of thousands of dreamers makes it all possible.

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It doesn't take much to trigger a child's imagination, like when youngsters visit an airport. Little Jimmy imagines himself as a handsome pilot, ready to take a jet anywhere. Kathy envisions herself as an airline stewardess, caring for passengers. We tell children these dreams can be achieved with hard work and luck. However, for Kathy and Jimmy, these aspirations can never be more than dreams. Kathy will never reassure an anxious passenger, and Jimmy will never operate a jetliner's controls because Kathy and Jimmy are mentally retarded.

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The host introduces Jim Arness, the star of the upcoming CBS show "Gunsmoke," as a hero and asks him to demonstrate his quick draw for the children watching. To prove his speed, a large mirror is brought on stage so Arness can attempt to outdraw his reflection. After the demonstration, Arness, in character as Marshal Matt Dillon, tells the children to go to bed early to be rested for his new CBS show. The host then announces to the adults that "Gunsmoke" will premiere on CBS this Saturday night at 10:00 PM eastern time.

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Birds and stars fall from the sky as angels dance and create dreams. They sprinkle magic, making dreams come true, just like me.

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The speaker greets each other and asks if they have received any letters. One letter from a viewer named Louise Carpenter asks about the absence of the Jimmy Savile World Cup comment slot, which her 8-year-old daughter enjoyed. The speaker makes a comment about young girls liking Jimmy Savile. They mention that the daughter loves the slot and then abruptly end the conversation.

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Speaker 0: Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt? The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.

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The speaker is participating in a game show called "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and is asked what they would say to Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney. They respond with offensive remarks and express their dislike for Disney Plus. They request to use a lifeline and call Bob Iger. The host contacts Bob Iger, who is surprised to hear from them. The speaker informs Bob that they don't actually need his help and confidently states that they will win the $1,000,000 prize. The transcript abruptly ends.

This Past Weekend

Jim Gaffigan | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #453
Guests: Jim Gaffigan
reSee.it Podcast Summary
Theo Von and Jim Gaffigan kick off with tour news and future plans. They announce new dates: Memphis August 4–5 at the Cannon Center for the Performing Arts; Chattanooga’s sold out; Toronto August 30 with a second show; San Jose adds a second show September 13 and 14; Oakland September 16 at the Paramount; Akron early September; Washington DC October 19–20; Windsor tickets still available for August 18, with tickets through theovan.com. They celebrate the return of the Rat tour and tease more opportunities if a city sells out. Jim Gaffigan, an iconic comedian and actor from Indiana, discusses his upcoming Amazon special Dark Pale and his Max series Full Circle, noting he has a new television project as well as his tenth stand-up special. He comments on the independence of his career, working without a network, and the value audiences find in authentic, everyman storytelling. Theo and Jim explore what draws people to comedians: curiosity, empathy, and the sense that real moments can land even in ritual “talks.” The guests reflect on attractiveness and relatability, noting that among comedians there is both an embrace of looks and a critique of that status. They talk about their own feelings of aging and beauty, and the deep comfort of smaller-market venues where people seem less performative and more at ease. They joke about preferences in a partner—warm eyes, a hard-working nature, a sense of humor, and the ability to laugh together—and discuss dating dynamics, height differences, and the idea of dating someone younger, with considerations about family and maturity. The discussion then moves to families and marriage. Jim recounts proposing in front of his fiancée’s family, after his brother suggested using his mom’s ring, and describes the moment as a surprise in the middle of a gift-opening scene. They reflect on weddings as a stressful planning exercise that can overshadow vows, and they entertain the notion that families should possibly vote on a marriage, a humorous bend on involvement from in-laws. Parenting and adolescence receive generous attention. They compare the pressures teens face today—with social media, pornography, and easy access to temptation—to their own youth, acknowledging how confidence and anxiety shape early life. They share memories of awkward puberty, acne, body changes, and the long arc from insecurity to self-acceptance, emphasizing the role of parental guidance in helping kids navigate modern temptations. Jim recalls acting experiences, including a car explosion on a shoot, collaborations with Robin Williams and Philip Seymour Hoffman, and the unpredictable nature of the acting career. They debate the ethics of true crime entertainment, YouTube policies, and the broader cultural appetite for sensational content. In closing, Jim previews further acting work, and Theo nods toward the future of stand-up—often more about craft and connection than trends. They remind listeners that the core of comedy is authenticity and that the best material remains grounded in real, human moments. Dark Pale is the focal point of the closing segment, signaling humor that can endure amid darkness and change.

This Past Weekend

Bald is Beautiful | This Past Weekend #103
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Theo begins with a relentless question from his youth: 'what are they gonna do about me?' He describes Eminem moments, swagger, and an unyielding drive to not quit, saying they’d have to 'Old Yeller your boy' to stop him. He recalls those frenetic vertebrae—‘L1 Marshall Mathers’ through his spine—driven by angst and swagger. He then talks about a recent Oklahoma trip, where flat plains reveal hay bales that look ordinary but conceal possibility: a hiding place, shade, or even “sorcery, wizardry.” He reflects on the hay bale as a symbol of opportunity. He thanks the audience for a sold-out show and shares fan messages, including a call from Brian in Arkansas and a note that he’ll see Brendan Schaub soon. He also recounts visiting Joey Diaz in Vegas, watching him tape a Netflix special, and riffs on how Netflix moved from computer to TV again. He dives into a wild memory about his sister, a man on dust, rock climbing, and ending up at a nudist colony, using it to contrast bravery and risk with humor, then circles back to a larger point: growth requires motion, as the universe expands. He urges stepping forward one move at a time, healing through laughter. He recounts travels through Arkansas at the University of Arkansas, and reflecting on old Bill and Hillary architecture, imagining hidden histories and scents from childhood, and ties it to a broader plea: keep the childhood edge, don't look down on southern accents, and recognize the value of diverse voices in Hollywood. He addresses calls about self-esteem, including a young man who went bald, a friend overcoming weight gain, and the tough choice about surgery, offering practical, empathetic guidance and humorous nudges. He also replies to callers about Southern stereotypes: the danger of assuming racism in Southerners, acknowledging both racist past and progress, and the need for open dialogue. He ends with Pride, gratitude for supporters, and a reminder to stay hungry, honest, and hopeful, with a final, light flourish about the unknown.

The Diary of a CEO

Jim Chapman: Overcoming Failure Anxiety, Finding Love & Life-Changing Therapy | E78
Guests: Jim Chapman
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Jim Chapman discusses his tumultuous childhood, marked by his father's sociopathic behavior and domestic abuse, which ultimately shaped his character and values. He reflects on the impact of his father's absence, suggesting that it allowed him to grow up in a loving environment with his mother and sisters. Despite the trauma, he expresses empathy for his father, attributing his actions to deeper issues rather than outright malice. The conversation shifts to Jim's public life, addressing rumors and the scrutiny he faces on social media, particularly regarding his past relationship and current engagement. He emphasizes the importance of resilience against online hate, especially when it targets his pregnant fiancée. Jim shares insights on success, overthinking, and the paradox of needing to be a contradiction in life to find happiness. He reveals his aspirations as a father, aiming to instill in his child the understanding that anxiety is often unwarranted and that worrying does not solve problems. Jim discusses his creative endeavors, including writing and producing, and expresses a desire for respect and contentment in his career rather than chasing fame or validation. The dialogue also touches on the challenges of being labeled in the influencer space, with Jim asserting that his identity extends beyond being a YouTuber. He reflects on the fleeting nature of fame and the importance of genuine connections with people rather than being defined by public perception. Jim concludes with a focus on personal growth, emphasizing the need for self-awareness and the value of therapy in navigating life's complexities.

This Past Weekend

Frovember | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #242
reSee.it Podcast Summary
Theo Von and guests navigate a rambling mix of humor, sports, news, and life advice. The episode opens with a sponsor plug for Gray Block Pizza, then The November/Movember bit spirals into misnamed ‘hooded’ themes, costumes, and a tour through Halloween hijinks on Sunset Boulevard, including a vivid, uncomfortable scene with a mermaid-costumed performer abandoned by friends. The tone swings from silly to dark as the host riffs on how communities celebrate November while joking about memories, opportunities, and fish, trying to land a deeper message about fresh starts and gratitude. The conversation shifts to UFC fights. Nick joins to discuss Kelvin Gastelum vs. Darren Till; the exchange centers on a largely tactical, subdued bout that some saw as not as exciting, and Till’s headspace after the fight. They also dissect the main event stoppage, noting that judges had Jorge Masvidal ahead after the first round and Nate Diaz needed a finish, while acknowledging the pace and weight-cut dynamics of Till’s move to 185 pounds. News segments cover a rash of topics: Bobby Lee allegedly hit Sam Tripoli’s car in the Comedy Store parking lot, Delhi declares a pollution emergency with choking smog affecting flights, and Santa Anita reports a 37th horse death this year, Mongolian Groom, raising concerns about safety and ethics in racing. McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook resigns over a consensual relationship with an employee, a decision the host questions in his characteristic rant about corporate virtue signaling. Throughout the show, callers share personal struggles and questions about family, sexuality, addiction, forgiveness, and intergenerational patterns. A caller seeks guidance on reconciling with relatives after his child comes out; another describes moving back home to help a father, reestablishing family bonds, and choosing growth over blame. The host leans into a hopeful creed: it’s never late to change, to forgive, to mend, and to show love, even in difficult family dynamics. The program wraps with practical ads for ShipStation, Blue Chew, BetterHelp, and ZipRecruiter, then riffs on motivation, accountability, and small steps toward better living, ending with a rallying promise: we’ve got this, and it’s never too late.

Armchair Expert

Armchair Anonymous: Kind Gesture from a Stranger | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
reSee.it Podcast Summary
In this episode of Armchair Anonymous, Dax Shepard discusses kind gestures from strangers, featuring stories that highlight unexpected acts of kindness. Joanna shares her experience from 2011 when a defense attorney in Jacksonville, Florida, offered to help her music career after a performance. He gifted her $300 for a microphone and later provided her with a job, assisting her in a small claims court case against a landlord. After helping her win the case, he disappeared, leaving Joanna curious about his fate. Chelsea recounts a humorous yet chaotic incident during a surprise proposal shoot, where her photographer partner, Jane, had an unfortunate digestive emergency. A kind jogger intervened, providing towels and hand sanitizer, allowing them to salvage the situation just in time for the proposal. Jana shares a touching story about her realtor who, after learning about her family's struggles during the pandemic, covered a $70,000 difference to help her secure a home for her ailing parents and newborn twins. Lastly, Georgeanne reflects on a childhood memory of calling NASA after the Challenger disaster, emphasizing the kindness of a phone operator who connected her to her teacher. Each story underscores the profound impact of kindness from strangers.

Modern Wisdom

Catch Up 106 | Modern Wisdom Podcast 209
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Chris Williamson discusses various topics, including the concept of wealth, injuries, and the absurdities of modern life. He compares a million seconds to 11 days and a trillion seconds to 36,000 years, reflecting on the criticism surrounding Jeff Bezos as the first trillionaire. Chris shares a personal story about rupturing his Achilles tendon while playing cricket, detailing the injury's odd lack of pain and the subsequent hospital visit. He mentions a conservative management approach for Achilles injuries, contrasting it with surgical options, and highlights the prevalence of such injuries among acquaintances. The conversation shifts to critiques of public figures like Gary Vaynerchuk and Grant Cardone, discussing their business philosophies and the perception of wealth. Chris also touches on the disconnect between market sentiment and actual company value, particularly regarding Tesla and Elon Musk. The episode concludes with humorous anecdotes about everyday life, technology, and the challenges of modern bureaucracy, emphasizing the absurdities and complexities of navigating both personal and societal issues.

Armchair Expert

Armchair Anonymous: Craigslist Debacle | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
reSee.it Podcast Summary
In this episode of Armchair Anonymous, hosts Dax Shepard and Lily Padman discuss various Craigslist debacles shared by callers. The first story features Michelle from Cleveland, who recounts a troubling experience when her mother attempted to buy a car. After canceling a check due to title issues, they received a barrage of explicit messages after the seller posted her number in a personal ad on Craigslist, forcing her to change her phone number. Next, Darion shares his Craigslist scam where he was conned while trying to earn money for a car for his girlfriend. He was hired by an artist who turned out to be a fraud, leading to a loss of $4,000 in fake money orders and a threat of arrest for bank fraud. Michael from Tacoma tells a harrowing tale of his parents being held at gunpoint while trying to pick up a free canoe from Craigslist, only to discover it was a neighbor's ad gone wrong. Lastly, Drew shares her experience of hiring movers through Craigslist, who stole her belongings after taking her payment upfront. Despite these misadventures, all callers reflect on their experiences with humor and resilience.

Armchair Expert

Drew Carey | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Guests: Drew Carey
reSee.it Podcast Summary
Dax Shepard welcomes Drew Carey to the Armchair Expert podcast, discussing Drew's career as a comedian, actor, and game show host, particularly his role on The Price Is Right. Drew shares his experience with caffeine consumption, detailing how it led to reliance on Ambien for sleep, which he eventually stopped using. He discusses learning meditation techniques during a 10-day silent retreat, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness and recognizing temporary discomforts. Drew reflects on his upbringing, mentioning his father's struggles with alcoholism and how it shaped his perspective on life. He shares anecdotes about his childhood, including humorous yet poignant stories about his father. Drew also talks about his career trajectory, from stand-up comedy to television, and the importance of collaboration in the entertainment industry. The conversation shifts to Drew's experiences on The Price Is Right, including the excitement of the audience and the technical challenges of hosting. He explains the dynamics of the show, the pressure of conducting games, and the emotional rollercoaster of witnessing contestants win or lose significant amounts of money. Drew expresses gratitude for his long-standing career and the relationships he has built in the industry. He highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with talented individuals and the joy of shared success. The discussion touches on the exclusivity of Club 33 at Disneyland, with Drew offering to take Dax and Monica there, showcasing his generosity. Overall, the podcast captures Drew Carey's journey through comedy, his personal growth, and the lessons learned from his life experiences, all while maintaining a light-hearted and engaging tone.

This Past Weekend

3-19-17 | This Past Weekend #14
reSee.it Podcast Summary
Theo Von marks his 37th birthday with a frank, rambling set of memories. He recalls childhood fears, standing on his bed to urinate around it to keep animals at bay, and sleeping in a stranger’s bed in Los Angeles as a young adult. He admits concealing his age for years but now tries to own it, riffing about flat-earthers outside a Whole Foods and the oddities of aging. The day includes breakfast with a wealthy friend and his children, a Venice bike ride on motorized bicycles, and birthday recollections ranging from a party at Perry Farrell’s house to a surprise party from an ex, to a roller-skating memory with an unfamiliar guest. He describes ten comedy sets over the weekend and an on-set encounter with Charlie Sheen, where they swapped stories about Michael Landon, rehab, and Spring Break energy, with Sheen’s charisma on display. He reflects on humanity’s small successes—being tall and alive—and on a neighbor’s London Broil dinner and coconut ice cream. He recalls a dark first birthday in L.A., living under a friend’s bed, fighting a stubborn refrigerator, and crying. He’s eight months sober, battles cigarettes and pornography, and invites listeners to call 98566 4953 to share struggles. He dreams of meaningful goals, like traveling the world and dancing, and presses toward adulthood.

This Past Weekend

Free Magic | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #631
reSee.it Podcast Summary
Theo Von closes out the year with a Christmas-themed stream that blends nostalgia, improvised humor, and offbeat storytelling. He riffs on the spirit of the season, from childhood memories of sneaking downstairs on Christmas Eve to the sensory details that made those nights feel magical. The monologue slides from playful, self-deprecating banter to tender reflection as he describes the glow of the tree, the stockings, and the ritual of waiting for Santa. He weaves in personal quirks and self-aware takes on affection, boundaries, and vulnerability, then pivots to lighter digressions about holiday music, family dynamics, and the imperfect rituals that make the holidays feel real rather than flawless. The show then shifts to calls from listeners, with a mix of humor, heartbreak, and shared experience that underscores how people lean on communal storytelling during a season of memory, forgiveness, and hope. Through a rapid-fire sequence of calls, he and his team explore a spectrum of topics people bring to the hotline: quirky holiday challenges, relationship struggles, and moments of gratitude amid tough situations. The conversations range from practical advice about navigating breakups and unexpected pregnancies to meditations on personal growth, the importance of self-reliance, and the tension between ambition and slowing down. Intertwined are candid anecdotes about marriage proposals that go awry, the chaos and comedy of family life, and the way humor can illuminate difficult feelings. The episode culminates in a sincere, communal send-off: a reminder to celebrate what lasts, to support those serving far from home, and to hold space for both joy and sorrow as the year concludes.

Armchair Expert

Armchair Anonymous: Blessing in Disguise | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
reSee.it Podcast Summary
In this episode of Armchair Anonymous, Dax Shepard discusses unexpected life events with callers sharing their "blessings in disguise." One caller, Mandy, recounts a summer job where she worked with a much older coworker, James, who later became infamous for a horrific crime. After her parents forbade her from seeing him, she later learned he was convicted of murdering a woman, highlighting the importance of listening to parental guidance. Another caller shares how the pandemic, while traumatic, turned out to be a blessing. Ryan, who faced a brain cancer diagnosis during COVID-19, credits the pandemic for forcing him to seek medical help he might have otherwise ignored. His experience led to a reevaluation of his work-life balance and ultimately a new postdoctoral position. Lastly, a mother shares a story about planning a surprise trip to see Taylor Swift with her daughter. After her dog chewed their passports, they faced a travel crisis that ultimately saved them from a dangerous situation related to a terror plot at the concert. Despite the disappointment, she finds humor and value in the story, emphasizing the unexpected twists life can take.
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