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So, we're brainstorming ideas for the new Prince Eric movie. Should we put a woman in it and make her gay, or try something different from the recent Indiana Jones approach? Forget Indiana Jones. Let's just put a woman in it and make her gay, right? Kathleen Kennedy's on the Bambi set, messing things up. Diverse woman? King deer? Bambi's a baby. Screw baby deer. I want a chicken and make her gay. I sent Kennedy to Spago for lunch and she ordered linguine and clam sauce. I told them to put a chicken in it and make her gay and lame. The chef didn't understand, but I want a gay, lame chicken in linguine!

I'm amazed to be part of the entertainment industry, coming from a small town in Indiana. And just to clarify, I am not a pedophile.

"BB's holding it up like Charlie just in May said, hey, you know what? I just want to write a love letter to Israel." "I'm an American citizen. Yes. I want Israel to win. Yes. I'm a Christian." "But my moral character is now being put into question, Megan." "But no. I am a bad person if I do this." "Thousands of tweets and text messages." "the people that are attacking me are in a hyperparanoid state because they're at war, and war tends to make things black and white, and you're a hammer looking for a nail." "What would it be like if all of a sudden I'm starting to see a pattern of behavior similar to what my grandparents saw in nineteen thirties Germany online? How would I behave?" "Tucker Carlson was really the focus when it came to America Fest."

I am perceived as the nicest guy in Hollywood, which means no one suspects me of hiding any secrets in my backyard.

Here's your DNA test. We sent it to the lab and got the results back immediately. Look at this: European, Siberian, East Asian. Wait a minute... 97.7% Jewish. Are you Jewish? Yes? You're in a room full of Jewish people. Are you scared? No? Welcome to Hollywood! I went to Katz Deli when I was in New York. It's really good. Look around the room - everyone here is Jewish. It's crazy, right? How do you feel about all this? I've always loved the world.

Here we are with the most important TV and film execs in the world, and you're all terrified of Ronan Farrow. It was a big year for pedophile movies like Surviving R Kelly, Leaving Neverland, Two Popes. But nobody cares about movies anymore. Everyone's watching Netflix. I could just say, "Well done, Netflix. You win. Good night." This show is so long, you could binge watch the entire first season of afterlife instead. That's a show about a man who wants to kill himself because his wife dies and it's still more fun than this. He didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. If you win an award tonight, don't make a political speech. You're in no position to lecture the public. You know nothing about the real world. Accept your award, thank your agent and your god, and get off the stage.

I am a cook. I like when people fuck on my bitch. People see my Twitter, but they don't say what they say to my face. With all of the money and fame, I still can't get my kids back. Niggas see my Twitter, but they don't see how I be feeling. So I became a Nazi. I'm the villain. How Hitler? They don't understand the things I say on Twitter. All my niggas Nazis. How Hitler?

The discussion centers on stress, guilt, and conflict. "Is that why you look a little haggard right now? Because you look a little worn. No offense." "I've been drinking a lot, but Is that because of the stress of this?" "Of course, stress, guilt, just conflict of all kinds." "I do feel bad about it. I also feel proud of it." "It's a terrible conflict. Because you've pulled off one of the greatest hoaxes ever because of your And because I made a film, if you wanna call it a film, which I considered to be my masterpiece." "And you can't take credit or even talk about it as if as if Well, I'm here you are now. I'm hereby taking service. Right." "But you can't actually go out. You're doing when people see this"

I was canceled for speaking out about Harvey Weinstein before it became public knowledge. He actually offered to perform a sexual act in front of my colleagues at my agency. When I arrived on set, I realized there were three other black actors there. I refused his offer, but I wonder what the others did. This is why people show respect when I enter a room, even though they may talk negatively about me behind my back. I am not willing to take shortcuts or be silenced by those who pay to control the narrative. They admit this themselves.

I can't fly to Akron just to insult a guy. The line "jerk store" is too good to waste. There are no jerk stores, it's a clever line for a smart audience. I won't dumb it down for a mass audience.

She's the people, the sex on the popcorn. The cops are at the house. You shouldn't hold office in a republic if you're an open communist. This guy's a minor, attractive person, aren't you? And that drag queen's a little kid. That's a nice star. Why don't you pay your fair share?

So, Hollywood might actually be dying after this. A film called Emilia Perez is nominated for 13 Oscars and it's not a joke. It has nominations for things like mammoplasty, vaginoplasty, and controlled laryngoplasty, also known as Adam's apple reduction. I wonder if the subject matter wasn't so controversial if it would still be nominated for this many awards if the quality of the film was all the same. I think there's a desire to reward progressive stories, but films for faith-based audiences never get lauded in Hollywood because they can't really celebrate that type of messaging.

I wish I could be here more often, but Will definitely has everything handled. This morning, I went into the Oval Office for our meeting, and I asked the president if everything was alright. Also, I want to thank the Academy for this tremendous honor. This might be the greatest moment of my life. Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to be a real actor.

We did it! You were right, I couldn't say much. Is this not going to be the best film ever? Hell yeah! Are you recording?

In this room are influential TV and film executives, all seemingly intimidated by Ronan Farrow. It's been a significant year for controversial films, but honestly, no one cares about traditional cinema anymore; everyone is streaming on Netflix. This show could simply acknowledge Netflix's dominance and end there, but instead, we stretch it out unnecessarily. Even a dark comedy about grief is more enjoyable than this event. If you win an award tonight, please refrain from making political speeches. Most of you have less real-world experience than Greta Thunberg. Just come up, accept your award, thank your agent, and leave.

I am not liked in Hollywood because I refuse to wear dresses or engage in what I perceive as "gay stuff" on TV. I believe that others should do that instead. I play tough characters because young kids aspire to be soldiers, not to follow someone who wears a dress.

Did you see the Oscars? Kate Winslet won for The Reader, where I play a guy hung up on an affair with a Nazi, played by Winslet. But, I don't get it. Why am I so tormented? It's Kate Winslet! Okay, I'm Jewish, but I'd still have sex with a hot Nazi. Everyone would. But not me, Ray Fiennes. I'm all tortured and pained. Get over yourself!

In Hollywood, everyone has experienced inappropriate touching, whether they are aware of it or not.

Hitler was a pedophile and kind of a pagan. It's like, well, he was also really fucking cool. Anybody who watches these videos where he's rolling down the street and stuff, it's like, this guy's this guy's awesome. This guy's cool. You're saying you're a you're a white supremacist? I'm not a white supremacist. I'm Mexican. I know. The exchange centers on controversial views about Hitler and a denial of white-supremacist affiliation.

In Inglorious Basterds, Christophe Waltz played a Nazi obsessed with finding Jews. Well, Christophe.

I'm considering taking in an Israeli refugee, but I have some concerns. I joke about giving them a shelf and fridge, but then I might end up sleeping in my own shed because the toilet is occupied. It's funny, right? I recently did a job where I got heavily booed for a joke, but I believe if you don't like it, you can leave. I care about the people in Gaza.

I can't believe you think I'm white. You don't know me. Find this guy for me after the show. I could end this show right now and do something else.

Tom Hanks is crucial to everything. He's a national treasure and a great guy. It's a shame he's not around like Quentin Quarantino. We should put him in a clear box and watch him. If Tom Hanks comes through, we'll be thrilled. Our hopes are all on him. If something happens to him, it's all over. I'll just be on my roof.

I don't care who I offend, but if Trump gets convicted of a crime and can still run for president, I'll vote for him. He's funny and I want to see what he does. Trump is hilarious, so I'm voting for him. That's all I have to say.

I squeak like a chirping grasshopper or a squeaky screen door. I want to be a backup girl. What's wrong with Justin's hair? We need a global movement. Men think we go from oral to anal, but I don't anymore. I think about Lisa and horses. Welcome back. Kader is spelled k h a d r. Omar Connery has more class than the entire cabinet. Thank you.