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I was asked if I would consider being Trump's Vice President. I don't believe my marriage caused any division. I agree with him.

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I was asked about Trump becoming speaker and I answered honestly. I think "speaker Trump" sounds great.

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I remember you from New York. You told me to go back where I came from. Who did you come here with? Did you get paid by the Democrats? Go home, you're a loser. I'm going to the strip club, everything's on me. Let's party.

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John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith, and that is not some faith. My Christian faith. John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith, and that is not some faith. My Christian faith.

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Maybe I'm gay, and maybe my wife is a man, but it doesn't matter. Just go out and vote for Kamala. We've already dealt with Joe, so let's focus on winning this thing. We'll figure everything else out later.

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I used to be a Democrat, but after meeting this man, I won't vote for a Democrat again.

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"No one is happier. No one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to West than the Donald." "did we fake moon landing? It really happened in Roswell. And where are Biggie and Tupac?" "Trump was steaming. His face was all locked and he was not having a good time." "Maybe I'll run. Maybe I'll show them all." "Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke." "Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant, which is great

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Let me be clear, I don't care if I offend anyone. The media can write whatever they want about me; it doesn't bother me. I'm often asked if it bothers me that a large part of the country hates me, but I don't care because we have a job to do. For the past four years, I've been angry because the Biden administration deliberately unsecured what was the most secure border in my lifetime. Every president I worked for, starting with Ronald Reagan, took steps to secure the border because they understood the importance of border security for national security. Joe Biden is the first president to intentionally undo that. But that changes November 5th. Now, I wake up excited because I'm working for the greatest president of my lifetime, Donald J. Trump.

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I might vote for Trump this time because he's a tough guy who's been indicted multiple times but never went to jail. I didn't know you could be indicted and not go to jail. He's freed many people serving life sentences for drug offenses, showing that the system is unfair. Trump is a gangster and I'm going to vote for him.

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We won an election that everyone said couldn't be won. We beat Hillary Clinton. I used to call her Crooked Hillary, but I took that name away from her. That was a great day about 2 months ago. I don't like using names on people, so now I call her Beautiful Hillary. She's a beautiful woman.

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Bobby, it's your favorite president here. I forgive you for being a loser about the election results. It's not your fault you have a low IQ. Believe me, I won, and Kamala lost big time. You were wrong. You're a total loser, and your show sucks. You're going to get low ratings. It's a disgrace to go from raging gold to raging nobody. It's a horror. Kamala's probably getting drunk somewhere, the f***ing virgin. Can you believe this guy calling your favorite president a virgin? Look at that crowd; it's a disgrace. But don't worry, we already won big. Come here, paparazzi! I love this guy. Do you want to do a little dance?

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This guy, who I used to call 1% Joe, ran multiple times and only got 1% of the votes. Now he's shot, with half of his head left, and he somehow ends up getting the nomination.

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Yesterday, Randy Fine called me. He berated me for forty two minutes about the Florida governor's race, telling me that if I entered that race, there would be real problems for me in the future, telling me that it wouldn't be nice to Byron Donalds if I ran against him as if we don't have elections in this country. Randy, if Byron is such a good candidate, he'll trounce me. But the truth is Republicans are the ones who got trounced this week. Republicans got trounced because of people like you and Byron Donald's. People like you and Byron Donald's, all you get done is write strongly worded letters, go on CNN and Fox News and whine, and then come back to your districts and act like you got something done for Americans. It's an absolute joke. The only person who's working in Washington DC goes by the name of Donald j Trump. And the do nothing congressional Republicans, many of whom are good people, but the truth of the matter is that if Elon Musk emailed you guys and asked you what you got done this week, you would say absolutely nothing. Because you know what? Going on TV, whining on podcasts, and writing tweets does not count. That does not count as getting something done for hardworking Americans. But you know the beautiful thing about all of this is that you guys endorse each other. You and Byron are thick as thieves, which is quite fitting actually. You guys endorse each other. Byron, you endorsed Randy for his congressional reelection. So Byron, let me ask you. Do you endorse Randy Fine's comment on 07/22/2025 in which in response to children starving in Gaza, Randy said, quote, starve away. This is the problem. This is the problem with you congressional Republicans is you are not focused on delivering for America first. We did not vote for foreign wars. We did not vote for bombing other countries. We did not vote for any of that. We voted for America first, period. End of story. And what you guys have done has been a complete humiliation, a complete rejection of the historic landslide, the mandate that we as voters gave president Trump. Get back to DC, do your jobs, and actually deliver America first.

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I love this guy, he's the most loyal best friend in the world. Thank you, Mr. President. Take care of yourself. We'll meet again. The country is in big trouble. I love this guy. How are you? Your eyes are perfect. Say hello to the guys. Thank you very much. I'll be over there.

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I am excited to be the next president of the United States. Biden's crowds are small compared to mine. We will stop illegal immigration from prisons and mental institutions. We will win Pennsylvania in November. Our country has improved since I left office. The current president has caused a surge in illegal immigration.

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He's not perfect, but let's not ignore the positive things he's done. I'm just a president, after all.

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I love President Trump! I even gave him a note saying he's the best president. It was great to see him in real life. My advice to the Secret Service is to stop being mean to him, or I'm coming after them. I might be acting like Candice Matthews from Houston, Texas. May God bless America! I might look 13, but I'm 50. I rub bald heads for good luck. It's the first time I ever shook a woman's hand.

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At age 59, I walked off the bus as a different man. Although I'm not proud of it, what I said was just locker room talk. Bill Clinton, on the other hand, has done far worse things to women. He has a history of abusive behavior towards women, and Hillary Clinton has attacked those same women. One of them, Kathy Shelton, was raped at 12 years old, and Hillary represented her rapist and laughed at her. Bill Clinton was impeached, lost his law license, and had to pay a fine to Paula Jones. So, when Hillary brings up my words from 11 years ago, it's disgraceful and she should be ashamed of herself.

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I had Donald Trump on my prison cell phone. I love you, Donald Trump. Thank you. This is incredible; I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. We love you, Trump. Thank you, Mr. President.

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Sheriff Joe, a patriot who protected our borders, was unfairly treated by the Obama administration before an election he would have won. Despite this, I stand by my pardon of Sheriff Joe. The people of Arizona, who know him best, would agree with me.

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Thank you for joining the Gutfeld show; it was a lot of fun. I owe you an apology for my past criticisms. I voted for you based on policy, but I didn't know you personally. Meeting you backstage and seeing how you interacted with my daughter changed my perspective. You're a family man, and I realize now why you fight the way you do. You’ve done significant things, like helping Nelson Mandela, but you rarely share those stories. I believe the press doesn't highlight your good deeds. You’ve helped many people, including donating to dog rescue efforts for your daughter-in-law. Your humility is admirable, but the American people need to know more about your character. We need strong father figures and a return to values like religion, which has been under attack.

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We won an election that everyone said couldn't be won. We beat Hillary Clinton. I used to call her Crooked Hillary, but I took that name away from her. That was a great day about 2 months ago. I don't like using names on people, so now I call her Beautiful Hillary. She's a beautiful woman.

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I don't care who I offend, but if Trump gets convicted of a crime and can still run for president, I'll vote for him. He's funny and I want to see what he does. Trump is hilarious, so I'm voting for him. That's all I have to say.

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If you believe what the media says, you've gained a valuable ally who essentially works for you without charge. I want to be clear, I admire President Trump. I genuinely believe he's a good person. There's something admirable about him. The president has faced relentless and unfair attacks in the media, which is truly outrageous. In my experience, having spent considerable time with him, I have never once witnessed him acting in a mean, cruel, or unethical manner.

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When I'm president, I'll send reinforcements to Texas instead of a restraining order.
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