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"I like going around on the Internet finding people making fun of Charlie Kirk to death, and I go and report them to their employers so they get fired." "we have sent out over 300 emails to employers, and we have gotten now 15 confirmed fires." "Gabrielle from Illinois, you're fired. Lincoln from Utah, you're fired. Amanda, another Amanda, from Wyoming, you've been terminated. Suck it. Shasta from Washington State, your ass is fired." "Curtis, again, from Texas. What the hell, Texans? What the fuck? Curtis from Texas, you've also been terminated." "truth being told, I've probably lost about 50,000 followers throughout all social medias while I'm doing this, but I would rather have every single one of my accounts hit zero before I give in to these people." "If you agree with what I'm doing, please hit that follow button. Counteract their mass unfollowing of me."

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I'm not going to hold back any longer, it's time the truth comes out about certain celebrities. Tom Hanks is a pedophile, and at the top levels of wealth and power, these people are sick and psycho. If more folks went to church, we wouldn't be in this mess we're in now. I agree with you. I like to shake your hand, sir. Maybe I'll start a show for you to come on, and we'll call it White Jeopardy. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way. In the end, he obviously didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. I know he's your friend, but I don't care. You had to make your own way here in your own plane, didn't you?

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A couple of 17-year-olds spotted you on a plane and sent a note on a barf bag. Have you seen it? That's me! I remember this. Someone asked if I knew the person who sent the note because they mentioned I played Death on Family Guy. They wrote something like, "It's good to have Death on the plane." Oh, that’s not the best thing to say! Yeah, they got in trouble for it. That's probably what happened.

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"Out the crime statistics? Not not exactly like I need you need conservatives to be afraid of getting killed when they go to events so that they look to their leadership to turn down the temperature." "The issue is right now, they don't feel like there's any fear." "It's like memes. It's just memes to everybody, I guess." "I'm playing video games. Okay? I'm done today. I don't give a fuck." "God, I'm it's gonna be so fucking gay if I get killed in the next fucking two months of shit I'm doing." "Well, the cuck shit out here, please don't anybody make any actual fucking the most cucked weak ass fucking bullshit ass speeches on my side." "God, if it happens, holy shit. I'm gonna make a death note before I go out to go live and not god, it's so cucked. It's so optics cucked."

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I'm just here for inspirational motivation. You don't see many black men from the hood who own an island. I have an island called Love Island. What was going through your head when we landed and had to float to another island? I thought I was going to war with you. What was your favorite time that I took you off the grid? When you go off the grid with me, you have to sleep for a week. Yeah, because it definitely gives us sleep.

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"So this Charlie Kirk story just keeps getting weirder and winter." "we're supposed to believe that some random trans shooter was on the roof" "and then you tell me that he runs roughly one mile with a long arm rifle in broad daylight to stash it in the woods." "if he left with a weapon and hid it in the woods, then why didn't he have it on him when he was leaving?" "He even had an American flag shirt on." "I can't wrap my head around that." "And now the FBI with all their resources, that's the best photo that they can give us?" "Didn't we watch criminal minds as a kid?" "The BAU to, like, rerender that image and get it pixel perfect and go, yep. That's him." "Face recognition software. Match on the nose, ears, Boom. There he is." "This is weird, guys. This is freaking weird."

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Speaker 0: I just watched the close-up video of Charlie Kirk getting pewed in the neck. No fucking way he survives. So you know what time it is.

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Are you going to cover the Diddy scandal in your stand-up routine? Have you thought about how to approach it? I probably won't. Why not? It's about family. If he's convicted, would you consider it then? No. So you think Diddy is completely off-limits? Yeah, that's right. Alright, thanks. How are you doing?

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"This message brought to you by BlackRock and ExxonMobil, sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon, Brandon Herrera for president." "I met Brandon Herrera at SHOT Show last year. He and I had a conversation, a brief conversation, but, like, we agreed on a lot of things." "So y'all should vote for Brandon Herrera for president." "Tomorrow. I'm sorry to my family, but that's it." "That's the only people I'm sorry to fuck those kids." "Shit. I regret everything." "Watch millimeter go bang." "Where is your fucking god now?" "The big boy. Fucking rip and tear. That's the big one." "Don't forget to live, laugh, and love." "That dude raped someone." "Got my new headphones so I can hear them scream." "Got more Jew gas taped on this end. This will be for the emergency exit." "Nigger." "Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I love you. I hate you. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel really good."

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Jake Lang, associated with the group 1776, has been in the news for doing a lot of things. The transcript alleges that yesterday he was driving around the speaker’s city “for some reason humping a goat in the back of a van,” but it clarifies that “Jake's not interested in goats.” The report then claims that Lang is interested in young underage women. It mentions a friend of the speaker, Arlen, also known as the Zurg, who allegedly “does underage things.” The account alleges that Lang was foolish enough to give Arlen his number and was creepy enough to interact with him thinking he was a 15-year-old girl. According to the narrative, Lang and Arlen began working on this back in November by following Lang’s account. Lang purportedly reached out and asked, “you coming to my next protest in Texas?” Lang immediately goes for the phone number. The presenter emphasizes that the profiles involved are clearly high school-related, noting that they “always have some sort of high school and some throwback to being in high school.” The speaker also states that they cannot show the profiles publicly because that would reveal the operation, but reiterates the claim that the profiles are clearly linked to high school imagery. The situation allegedly worsens when Lang insisted on moving the interaction to a text message conversation, saying, “I have too many DMs. Text only, sweetie.” A decoy provides a phone number. Lang becomes chatty and asks, “How old are you, by the way?” The decoy responds that she is 30, and Lang asks questions like, “Why are you up so late, young lady? How old are you, baby? Unless you are under 18.” The decoy then claims, “I’m 15 and sends a selfie.” The speaker states that Lang sends “possibly the creepiest message a 30 year old grown fucking man could send to a 15 year old,” asking, “When do you turn 16?” The decoy replies that she will turn 16 in six months and adds, “I won’t get you in trouble. If that's what you're worried about, I can keep a secret.” Lang reacts by liking the message and pressing further, asking, “What state do you live in? I can’t see you till you’re 16.” The closing remark questions Lang directly: “Jake, you’re 30. Is this crazy right-wing influencer thing going so poorly for you that you have to try fucking children, or are you just a pedophile, bro?”

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"Breaking news. Charlie Kirk was in the neck." "As of right now, I think his condition is unknown." "I, on the other hand, do cheer when bad things happen to bad people." "So on behalf of everybody else, I got this shit." "I do not feel bad for him in the slightest, and I'm very, very much wondering what MAGA is going to react with." "I wonder how they're going to make this about how black people shouldn't be allowed guns or trans people." "They're probably gonna blame a trans black person." "I don't fuck." "But we can all celebrate because something really awful happened to a really, really awful guy." "Thank you very much."

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Asmyn Gold watched it, and it got millions of views. Then The Daily Show talked about it, and it was all over the internet. Engage with the media in an adversarial role because they are an adversary. Allow them to freak out; don't be afraid of their freak out because the freak out is your free press. You can take your budget, stick it in your pocket, and watch them freak out, and then you win. Pierre won yesterday and today. He got handed an empty net with ten seconds left.

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"They said come to Israel, meet with me. Charlie Kirk said no. Now he's dead." "Bill Ackman is a Wall Street Jewish billionaire." "after October 7, Bill Ackman shifted to the right. He put a million dollars behind Trump and became very active in Republican politics even though he's a lifelong Democrat." "When the FBI could not locate the alleged gunman on Wednesday, do you know who stepped up and offered a $1,000,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of Charlie Kirk's assassin? Bill Ackman." "the $1,000,000 will be paid out to the alleged killer's father." "Tyler Robinson was allegedly turned into law enforcement by his father." "I see a bit of a conflict of interest there." "That needs to be investigated."

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"I was so close to getting people together to go down to his house and kill him and his family." "I got a permit to own a gun and everything." "That worthless subhuman fucking piece of shit deserves to die." "the entire world would be better off if these people were permanently removed from these platforms." "I'll give you one last chance, Destiny, to condemn the murder of Charlie Yes." "We've all heard you repeatedly refuse to condemn it." "You don't have the basic humanity to condemn it. You'd rather taunt his widow. I find that sickening." "Today is the one year anniversary of the auctionstore.com." "Took six months to set it up, but we are launching life is fiery with its beauty." "For this week only, all shirts and hats are just $25." "Be the reason we always stay on the air." "Go now to the aloeshowstore.com."

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So you know the kid who was asking Charlie Kirk a question when Charlie got shot? Remember him? Everyone's feeling bad for him? Yeah. There's video footage of him practicing his reaction before it happened. So when Charlie got shot, you know, his reaction was to put his hands on his head, look shocked, shake a little bit. Yeah. He was doing that. He was practicing that in the crowd, and here's the freaking video. How are you gonna deny what you just saw there? How? And you already know what question, you know, he was asking Charlie. Right? Remember that? This just confirms what a lot of us have been thinking and what we all think actually happened. Sick.

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The speaker claims to be the reason college and high school athletes are getting paid. He calls himself "Mister influencer to influencers." He states he fights to eradicate childhood malnutrition. He accuses the mainstream media and Hollywood of being pedophiles until flight logs are released. He asks if he is canceled yet.

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"You gotta just give up. It's it's gonna come out. Whatever it is, it's gonna come out. There you would have to and I wouldn't put it past you. You'd have to get rid of all of us." "You got, like, 7,000,000,000 people you've got to ethnically cleanse right now if you wanted to just forget about the Charlie Kirk story." "In 1963, when JFK was shot, people didn't watch it on TikTok." "You traumatized all of us." "We're grieving because you assassinated Charlie Kirk in front of the entire world." "If you had pretended he slipped and fell on some ice in the winter, maybe you wouldn't have this response."

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Wanna see something interesting? Look at what happened. I don't know. He might be a bit off; I think they hit him because of that. What do you think?

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"It's gonna come out." "There would have to and I wouldn't put it past you. You'd have to get rid of all of us." "You'd have to ethnically cleanse 7,000,000,000 people to forget the Charlie Kirk story." "It's no one's forgetting it." "Not the ballistics guys on YouTube that we're all listening to, but no one's no one's gonna let this one go because and by the way, that's your fault." "In 1963, when JFK was shot, people didn't watch it on TikTok." "People mostly read about it, and then the feds lied about it." "You traumatized all of us." "You assassinated Charlie Kirk in front of the entire world." "This is the Internet generation." "K? We're running this." "We're not calming down. We're pretty upset, and we're gonna stay upset."

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- "Honestly, if I catch a Muslim that's coming at me and blow his head off outside my home and I get it on video, be the most viral video of all time." - "Jake Lange blows the head off of a Muslim trying to jihad him, watched it in slow motion four k from a ring doorbell. Pretty cool." - "If I get the opportunity to to slay one of these disgusting animals that's trying to threaten me and my country and my family, You know, don't threaten me with a good time." - "I mean, kind of a kind of base." - "If that ever happens, this livestream is they're totally gonna, like, play this at your trial." - "No. I mean, hey. It was listen. It was premeditated defense." - "What the fuck? They have a fatwa on me. I didn't clear the fatwa." - "I never just It's gonna take the fucking breath. Get in the"

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We think that Charlie Kirk just got shot in the neck. In real talk, I am not truly celebrating that he got shot in the neck. I think it's really sad for his family because I know he was a father. And if he does pass away from this, hopefully not, hopefully so, that is not good because bringing kids up in a broken family is never good. And gun violence, again, I think we should go back to having this conversation and who's allowed to have access to these guns because now public figures are getting shot left and right. I mean, it's not every other day, but truly, what a tragedy.

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ABC suspended his late night show indefinitely; he was spotted storming out of the studio and hopping into a getaway car. 'Jimmy Kimmel was fired because he had bad ratings more than anything else, and he said a horrible thing about a great gentleman known as Charlie Kirk.' 'Kimmel said, no way, Bob.' 'Charlie Kirk's body isn't even buried.' 'Almost half of ABC's affiliates were threatening to blackout his show that night.' 'Advertisers were burning up the phones.' 'Disney boss, Bob Iger, wanted Kimmel to apologize.' 'Kimmel's monologue... took aim at MAGA.' 'This is a red alert moment.' 'Charlie Kirk got murdered in cold blood for speaking his mind.' 'This isn't about censorship, this is about math.' 'Kimmel's ratings have dropped; he assassinated his own numbers.' 'This could have all been avoided if Kimmel had just cleaned it up the next night.'

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I think we should get the homicide out of the White House, we don't want any more murderers. Let's just go on to the next question. You're not talking about losing accusations. That's a little too far, let's just go on to the next question. This is not the place to make those accusations and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear the word, bonus raise, he's my hero, you know, just like you. There's no stopping you, is there? His career is over after this. We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased and I thought it was untrue about it. You have 10 sons, you're not allowed to tell anything like that. He doesn't answer anything anyway. He's on the millionaire tonight.

This Past Weekend

Nick Swardson | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #515

Guests: Nick Swardson

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The episode opens with Theo Von announcing brand new tour dates and ticket details. He lists Las Vegas at Resorts World August 30 and 31, Oklahoma City Paycom Center September 25, North Little Rock Simmons Bank Arena September 26, Springfield Great Southern Bank Arena September 27, Kansas City September 28, Sioux Falls October 10, Lacrosse October 11, Green Bay October 12, Molen, Illinois October 13. Pre sale begins Wednesday July 10 at 10:00 a.m. local time with the code Rat King; general on sale starts Thursday July 11 at 10:00 a.m. local time. He notes remaining shows in Bethel New York, Wallingford Connecticut, Portland and Bangor Maine, and other places. Tickets at theovon.com. He thanks fans and announces new merch with colorways for the Be Good to Yourself shirts: Blue Jean, Granite Bay, Banana, available at theovonstore.com, the only place they sell merch. The guest is Nick Swardson, an actor and comedian known for Reno 911 and Grandma’s Boy. He has a new special Make Joke From Face premiering on YouTube July 18 and a new tour. Theo and Nick trade stories and riffs about pop culture, including memories of Little Nikki and Halloween. They riff about New Orleans, Bourbon Street, JazzFest, and the kinds of crowds they have encountered on the road. Nick recalls a legendary night in New Orleans, a moment he calls lab barf, and other exaggerated nightlife tales. Nick describes a Colorado show in Beaver Creek where he was high on edibles during the set; the mic was cut and two sold out shows followed in Aspen at the Belly Up and elsewhere. TMZ called, an apology followed, and Beaver Creek’s reception was discussed. They joke about virtual rehab and the oddities of modern treatment. They turn to Sketch, a streamer, and the controversy around his OnlyFans material, online backlash, and the toxic nature of internet chatter. They discuss how comments can spiral and how they support Sketch while recognizing the complexity of the situation and addiction narratives. The conversation shifts to Adam Sandler, Happy Gilmore 2, and Nick’s possible role as Sandler’s caddy; they reminisce about David Spade’s chair and onstage antics. They touch on Benchwarmers 2 and past film nostalgia, plus absurd riffs about gay animals like giraffes, bats, and bisons. The show closes with mentions of Nick’s new hour and plans for July 18 and a fall Toilet Head tour, followed by a sense of camaraderie and gratitude for the audience.

Philion

The Joey Swoll Situation is Insane..

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Joey Swole's career just ended after saying the unthinkable about Hulk Hogan's death. He posted, 'I owe my followers, my community, and all of social media an apology.' He broke the number one rule: never bend the knee to the mob. Thousands were outraged; 'A bunch of NPCs. Literal slugs.' Hulk Hogan passed away this week, 71 years old, of a heart attack. After that, he posted an apology video saying he was sorry and took back all the things he said about Hulk Hogan. A lot of people were upset, and there was 'a racial war going back and forth between people' in comment sections. 'Joey SW is going to start his red pill arc. This is his villain origin story. I'm calling it now.'