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I have admired Trump all my life, as black people praised him in the 80s and 90s. He was in over 300 rap songs. Recently, he's been called racist, but I never heard that before. I will vote for him again, as he's the best president in my lifetime.

I don't know how it happened, but it's unbelievable. We just witnessed something incredible in football. Donald Trump, you are the best.

Beyonce, we don't care about you, your speeches, rituals, or voodoo. Texas will always be a red state. You trying to finesse the Black vote for a politician with no plans for the Black community shows how little you care about your own people. You need to worry about P Diddy, Jeff Epstein, Jaguar Wright, and Aaliyah. You need to worry about God and repent, not worry about where our vote is going. We don't care about you, Beyonce. You have God to answer to, not us.

Tracy Ellis Ross is the speaker's only shampoo choice. The speaker is interrupting regular programming to celebrate a "black excellence moment" related to Tracy Ellis Ross and Michael P. Jordan's birthday.

Trump 2025 is here, and I'm excited! Despite claims about racism in America, many Black voters supported Trump. It's important to recognize that Black people can't be racist, as often stated. There has been a lot of criticism directed at Black men, but that doesn't matter now. We welcome all Black individuals to join us.

I am so sick of you people always blaming President Trump for everything! Groceries, plane crashes, trains blowing up, drones, you name it. You'd blame him if your partner didn't come home, or if you found out you were the side piece on Valentine's Day. You'd say it's his fault they're working out of town, working late, or why you didn't get a gift! He gets no credit for the amazing job he's doing. You people blame him for absolutely everything. If you could blame him for your partner having another partner, you would.

I suggest everyone educate themselves. Trump has accomplished more for the country than any other president, doesn't take a salary, and has helped the black community more than Obama. It's time to wake up, pay attention, and educate yourself on global events. If you do, you'll stand with us.

To all black people: If you want to challenge the government that harmed your ancestors and killed leaders like Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, and Huey, vote for Donald Trump. These racists fear him because he threatens their corrupt ways. Show them by voting for Trump to disrupt their control over us. It's time to fight back against those who have oppressed us for too long.

Happy Super Bowl! It's an iconic day for the country, and I wanted to be here to share in the spirit. My administration is moving quickly; we've already made significant changes in border policy, cracked down on crime, protected women's sports, and implemented energy policy changes. Unlike my previous term, I now have the support I need to accomplish my goals. Some recent actions, like using Elon Musk's team to improve government efficiency, have faced pushback, but I believe it’s necessary to address fraud and waste. Tariffs on Canada and Mexico are producing results on border security, but more is needed. I believe Canada would be better off as the 51st state. While there are some economic jitters, I'm confident we'll achieve success, bringing the country together. I'm a fan of both Super Bowl teams, but I'm predicting a Kansas City win. It's amazing how my rallies and even my dance moves have become so widely imitated!

Hey everyone, here's the Super Bowl script, just for fun! It starts as you'd expect – the Chiefs dominate, analysts agree, Taylor Swift is everywhere. Looks like a blowout! The third quarter shows the Eagles completely outclassed; social media explodes with accusations of a rigged game. Casual viewers are tuning out. Then, the fourth quarter twist! The Eagles suddenly rally, scoring quickly, forcing a fumble.

Donald Trump invited the Mississippi Valley State Marching Band to perform at his second inauguration, a significant opportunity for these students who have worked hard for such exposure. Despite this, some individuals criticize them as sellouts for accepting the invitation, labeling Trump as a racist. However, it’s important to recognize that he supported sustainable funding for schools during his first term, something previous presidents did not do. The backlash against the band reflects a troubling mindset where personal biases overshadow the potential benefits for these young performers. If any band members are listening, embrace this opportunity and ignore the negativity. You should be proud and take advantage of this moment.

Happy Super Bowl! It's an iconic day, and I thought it was important for me to be here. My administration is different; I have more support now. We're tackling inefficiency and fraud in government, targeting hundreds of millions of wasted dollars. Elon Musk is helping, and we’ll be examining other departments soon. The tariffs on Canada and Mexico are necessary for border security improvements, but it's not enough yet—more action is needed. Canada becoming the 51st state is a real possibility to address our trade deficit. While inflation may be a concern, we’re working to make America rich again. Bringing the country together requires massive success, and I'm focused on that. I'm predicting a Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl victory. The Trump dance? I never imagined it would become such a thing, but I love it. Enjoy the game!

The speaker finds Black History Month ridiculous because it relegates Black history to a single month. The speaker asks which month is White History Month or Jewish History Month, noting there isn't one. The speaker doesn't want a Black History Month, stating Black history is American history. The speaker believes racism will end when people stop talking about it. The speaker suggests not calling each other "white man" or "black man," but knowing each other as individuals.

Let's be real, all of you who believe in the Bible, you must see we're in the end times. The Antichrist is here, but who is it? Is it Elon Musk, Donald Trump, or even Barron? It could be anyone at this point. Remember Melania's bizarre Christmas decorations? This is what we're dealing with. I was happy, floating in a pool, but now I'm back to worrying about who the Antichrist is. And those of you bible thumpers, you put us in this situation. So, fuck you, and fuck your bible.

It's 2020, and things have changed since 2016. The game has been elevated, and no expense is being spared. We even had a black billionaires month.

I believe Barack Obama is the worst president ever. I voted for him because I thought he would help the people in Chicago, but he didn't do anything for us. He didn't come to Ferguson when we were protesting, and he doesn't care about black people. He's controlled by someone else, but Trump is different. He gets his energy from the people. Obama didn't do anything for us, not even the person who said you ain't black if you don't vote for me. So, vote for Trump in 2020.

Speaker 0: How was your weekend? You probably watched football, picked pumpkins, spent time with your family. Trump spent his weekend demolishing the East Wing to make room for a big beautiful ballroom. Vance hung out with the marines at Camp Pendleton. Speaker 1: Who rah, marines? Who rah. I didn't hear you. Who rah, marines? Who rah. Speaker 0: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's the Secretary of War. Pete spent the weekend doing flyovers and fighter jets. Oh, it was also No Kings Day. Speaker 2: Here in the friendly neighborhood Burger King, enjoying my No Kings Day, with some traditional flame broiled goodness in my hand right now. Like it says right there, if you're heading to Eli Grody, you rule America. We don't have a king in this country. We've got a president. He's doing a pretty darn good job. Speaker 0: Now if you don't know what no kings day is, you're not alone. Maybe you went downtown and got stuck in traffic and wondered, is that a transgender shark? Speaker 3: Why are you here today? Speaker 4: I'm here to stand up against our regimes oppression against the American people and immigrants in our country and minorities, including trans people like myself. Speaker 5: I am the unity uniform. I've got my head out of my costume because I can't breathe right now, but we're here doing a peaceful protest, trying to get our democracy back. Speaker 0: Spartacus and Pencil Neck didn't dress up as trans sharks and unicorns. This is what they really look like. Speaker 1: This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. This is what democracy looks like. Speaker 0: Are they dating? We don't know, but they were hugging and singing on a parade float. In Chicago, Ribs got his steps in. JB back at the Windy City doing the electric slide. You know who can't move her hips like that? Nancy. Poor thing. But she was still tearing it up. Speaker 5: Gonna tear up the crown. Speaker 0: Schumer marched too. Schumer and Pelosi, that king and queen have been ruling America for a combined eighty two years. Trump's only been king for a minute. No Kings was a who's who of people with TDS. Even my mom was there. George Conway was walking around in an Antifa shirt. Irish Rosie must have had FOMO, but don't worry, Hollywood was in the house. Here's John Cusack. Speaker 6: Go to hell. Speaker 3: Is that the message from Chicago? Speaker 6: Yes. What's interesting is that he he doesn't understand that all the labor rights around the world came from this town, this place. So if he thinks this place is gonna be a fascist hub, no chance. Speaker 0: Dougie Not So Fresh was there too, but that kinda looked more like the women's march. Doug was on the prowl. He was going stag. Where's Kamala? Speaker 7: So get out there and join the No Kings event near you, and please take care. I'll see you later. Speaker 0: Kamala couldn't make it. She had other plans, big birthday plans. It's always about her. You know who else was a no show? Hillary. Trump world says, no queens. As for a king, the White House told MSNBC this about the march. Who cares? Do the people even know what they're protesting? Speaker 3: I was wondering how president Trump has put your your freedom in jeopardy. Speaker 1: I wanted to say my freedom is in jeopardy. Speaker 3: So whose freedoms and why are you out here at the no kings protest, I guess? Speaker 0: No one really thinks Trump's king. It just seems like it because he works harder than Biden. Speaker 8: I'm not a king. I work my ass off to make our country great. That's all it is. I'm not a king at all. Speaker 0: If Trump was king, there'd be no march, no MSNBC calling him Nazi, and no shutdown. The funny thing is the left actually loves the government telling them what to do. During the pandemic, Democrat kings and queens told you to close your business, what to wear on your face, how far away you could stand next to someone. They told you couldn't have grandma over for Thanksgiving and liberals obeyed. They took away your first amendment rights and democrats said, good, free speech is dangerous. They tried to take away your second amendment right, democrats said, good, no one needs a rifle. There's nothing the left loves more than submitting to government power. But Robert De Niro says, if you love freedom, you're a brainwashed hick. Speaker 9: Somewhere way out in the Midwest, somewhere out in out West, in certain places, the rural places. That's the truth. Because he gets the airtime. I think that we need more airtime. Just more push against and not I wish that you can't do this in some ways, but that the the news media could find ways to kind of ignore or tamp down nonsense from Trump. Speaker 0: The Democrat party rigged the primary, stole Biden's votes, crowned Kamala, and tried to put their rival in prison. And if you were a reporter who told the truth about Biden, they'd cut off your access. Trump talks to the press every day. Would a king do that? And if the press broke a mirror in the map room, would he let him live? Speaker 8: Oh, you gotta watch that. Watch that. You you're not allowed to break that. That mirror is 400 years old. The camera just hit the mirror. I just moved it up here special from the vaults, and the first thing that happens, the camera hits it. Hard to believe, isn't it? Hard to believe. But these are the problems in life. Speaker 0: Seven years of bad luck. A king would have tossed him in the gulag. Aye, aye, aye. And look what happens when they keep calling us Nazis. Speaker 3: Who are you gonna kill? Nazis. Who who do you Nazis. Define as a Speaker 6: What do you mean? It's pretty Speaker 3: In this in this context, who's a Nazi? Stephen Miller's a Nazi. So you're gonna kill Stephen Miller? If I had Speaker 6: a chance, yeah, I was. Speaker 0: Once you crack the surface at No Kings, there's a dark and violent underbelly seething with hatred. Speaker 1: You gotta grab a gun. We gotta turn around the guns on this fascist system. These ICE agents gotta get shot and wiped out. This state, the state machinery, there's a folder display right there has to get wiped out. Speaker 0: One woman with a Mexican flag was mocking Charlie Kirk getting shot in the neck when a MAGA truck rolled by. Who is this woman? Well, she's a teacher at an elementary school. These are the people in charge of our kids. Isn't it crazy how every time we ID these maniacs they happen to be teachers or professors? What is it about the left and death? Speaker 6: Okay. So for for a birthday present, what do you hope happens? You you wake up tomorrow morning. Speaker 3: I hope that I see the obituary that we're all waiting for tomorrow. That's what I hope for. Yeah. Speaker 6: You you wishing that president Trump is dead? Speaker 3: Yes. Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely. Speaker 0: Well, Trump was already shot in the head and almost killed during a round of golf. The Secret Service just found a sniper's nest in Palm Beach with a direct line of sight to Air Force One. Speaker 10: This hunting stand was appropriately dismantled, is being flown to our our lab. I believe it's there right now. And all of the forensic tools we have, from digital tools to biometric tools, They are all gonna be applied to try to find out who put this up there, and why. Speaker 0: In North Carolina, shots were fired over a Trump flag. A guy didn't like that a guy had a MAGA and flag over his house and then went and ripped it down. And then he came back in his vehicle, aimed the pistol from the sunroof and fired shots at his property. The vigilante's been arrested. Is this what we're doing now in America? We're shooting people over politics? Liberals have lost the argument, they've lost the election, and now they've lost their minds. Trump won the popular vote. That doesn't make him king, it makes him president. And he's taken a lot of action because Biden left such a mess. The president has a mandate to stop migrants, drugs, wars, and crime, and so far he's doing a really good job. And the Supreme Court says everything he's doing is legal. It was actually Biden that the Supreme Court ruled against over and over and over again. Just because there's a lot of gold in the White House doesn't mean he's sitting on a throne.

This idiot Elon Musk is evidently a Nazi. I refuse to believe the Sieg Heil was accidental, especially at a presidential inauguration. Liberals have no teeth! They just say, "Oh my god!" and threaten to leave the country because of one guy with hair plugs who runs a bad car company and obsolete social media platform. Why isn't he stopped? Liberals need to speak up, not just whine. I'm a comedian, it's not my job to lead the charge, I'm talking about democratic politicians! These neo-Nazis are stupid and don't realize Hitler ruined their own country. This idiot's gonna try to lead us down that road and act like he didn't do anything wrong. You can get canceled as a comedian for a Caitlyn Jenner joke, but this guy can Sieg Heil with no consequences? Where are all the white chicks from the award shows who were speaking truth to power? Why did they choose to go after comedians and not the KKK?

President Karen demanded to speak to my manager. It's surprising that someone like him, who fathered Eric and Don Junior, can't handle jokes. Americans have the first amendment right and are braver than Donald Trump. He's a blowhard and a snowflake. He should change his hats to say "make America wine again."

Trump's comments were offensive, baseless, and lacked evidence. They were race-baiting and appealed to the worst in us. We need to stand up against an administration that is too male, too pale, and too stale. We won't stay silent.

Trump is the first black president, not Obama. He's a real man with a mugshot, unlike others. He's being tortured like black people, showing we're all in this together. Race doesn't matter.