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What are you doing? Stop! You’re just running away because you’re scared. Who can I be for my own sake?

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Oh my god, I can't believe what just happened. I was just on a plane. Unbelievable. Where even am I right now? This is insane.

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I am very tired of saying goodbye. When I look inside, I see a lot of things. Let's take a look.

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I feel scared when I see the expression in your eyes. I want to say goodbye, but sometimes I want to fight. I need you now and I need you even more if you hold on.

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I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

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I couldn't sleep, so I took a drive around Joburg and realized why I feel both fulfilled and lonely. I enjoy my trips and activities, but I struggle to find companionship. I keep hoping for a relationship, but it hasn't happened in seven years. No matter how hard I work or what I achieve, I still feel empty at home and in bed. All my emotions and thoughts seem trapped inside me.

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I got kicked out of my boyfriend's house. Really? You too? Did it help you? No, I'm fine. I don't know why you told me that. Don't leave me now; come on.

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I am leaving Gaza and won't be wearing this heavy vest anymore. I hope to return soon and contribute to rebuilding. I will miss the people I have spent so much time with, even though they once forgot to pick me up from the office.

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I feel weird, but I'm okay. Stay inside your house. It might be best. I'm not sure. I felt like it.

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I love you guys. I made some choices, and I'm gonna be gone for a while. Sorry. I just wanna let you know I love you guys both, and I wish it had gone this way. I don't wanna say anything more and implicate you in any way because you guys don't know anything about this. But I love you guys, and I'm sorry for all the trouble this has caused.

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I can't feel my legs. Go back. I can't see my legs. You're okay.

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I see everything, but I feel empty. I don't want to die here. There has to be more. Translation (if needed): I see everything, but I feel empty. I don't want to die here. There has to be more.

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Today is the day they'll throw it back to you. You should've realized what to do by now. Nobody feels the way I do about you now.

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If I had known you wouldn't be here anymore, I would have made our moments last longer. If I had known.

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We are currently confined to our hotel due to a situation where the hotel doors have been locked. We are unable to leave and are feeling trapped.

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I love you guys. I made some choices, and I'm gonna be gone for a while. Sorry. I just wanna let you know I love you guys both, and I wish it had gone this way. I don't wanna say anything more and implicate you in any way because you guys don't know anything about this. But I love you guys, and I'm sorry for all the trouble this has caused.

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I recall the moment I lost my mind. There was a certain comfort in that space, where even emotions resonate. Being out there, carefree, made me feel disconnected.

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You're going to cross the street, and we need to have a conversation. Let's talk. You're separating and getting upset. Don't do this for me; just let it go.

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I'm getting off this plane, and I have my reasons. People either don't believe me or can't accept it, but I don't care. That person back there is not real. You can choose to stay on this plane and face whatever happens, but I refuse to do that.

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I notice the absence of others around us. The silence between us is uncomfortable. Your gaze tells me that you don't reciprocate my feelings. I wish you would realize one day and express your love for me, or at least let me speak my mind. It hurts when I try to communicate with you, as if Cupid himself passes through and leaves me empty.

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I feel abandoned with no one to help me. I'm labeled far right if I speak my mind. I'm frustrated with wasted time trying to see a doctor. Where are the children and women in the sun? Stop giving money to old friends in Poland. I feel pushed away.

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I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

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I love you both, and the friendships we've formed here have sustained me. The thought of doing these nights without you feels like losing a limb. Your strength and fearlessness inspire me, but my despair over your departure is something I must fight. Despair is the autocrat's tool, leading to hopelessness and inaction. We can't afford to wallow in it. We have to be real with ourselves, but also recognize that no perfect candidate or ad will save us. We have to save ourselves. We, as a country, need to decide that certain things, like Elon Musk's unchecked accumulation of wealth, are not who we are.

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I recall the moment I lost my mind. There was an odd sense of comfort in that space.

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I can't escape, they keep pulling me back in.
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