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I recall the moment I lost my mind. There was a certain comfort in that place, where even emotions resonated in the vastness. When I was carefree, I felt disconnected from reality.

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An extreme, hostile exchange unfolds, filled with insults and explicit sexual references. The participants trade provocations while questioning each other's behavior. "You do. Not gonna happen, dude. Another pussy." "You don't think anal sex is good, do you?" "No. It's not the it's not the purpose." "Have you ever fucked your old lady in the ass? Who would do that? I fucked your old lady That's why you're here with me." "Watch your language." "Hey. Shut your ass." "Shut your ass, you little piece of shit." "Where are you from? These people are out here having a good fucking time, and you're being sick."

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The speaker expresses intense shock and anger, repeatedly asking, “The fuck is wrong with you,” and “What the fuck did you just do?” They urge, “Somebody call the ambulance,” and insist, “Somebody needs to call 911.” They state, “I can’t believe they just did that” and exclaim, “Holy shit,” wondering, “Why would you do that?” They react with disbelief, “I can’t believe I’m seeing it,” and direct someone named Jamaica to come over: “Come on, Jamaica. Come here.” The speaker describes the scene as “so fucked up,” repeating that it is “fucked up,” and concludes with the claim, “He was only helping.”

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Someone was upset and stated, "They're fighting. They're really trying to hurt me." They then exclaimed, "Run. Damn. Run."

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I thought it could be a life or death situation for me. When I was on the floor, I remembered all the times I had thought about what I would do in that situation, and now I was actually doing it. We watched the riot on TV for hours from a secure location. Seeing the images of windows being broken and people climbing walls made me feel angry. It caused an audible gasp in the room.

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Speaker 0 expresses extreme alarm about revelations described as “coming out from these vials” and questions whether everyone is paying attention to what is being revealed. They fear they may have to explain to others what they are hearing and seeing, and worry they will sound like they are experiencing psychosis because they cannot sleep and feel “so fucking angry.” They declare they are “petrified” and describe the material as “some of the most vile, most demonic shit I have ever even fathomed” and “unfathomable.” They feel that people are not paying attention and that there is under reaction to these distressing revelations. They worry that, when exposed to such distressing information, people may become numb, a response they acknowledge as a valid human experience, but they believe it is unacceptable in this context: “we numb ourselves and we block it out because it's too much.” They speculate about others who are reading or observing the revelations, asking if “these fucking fucked up freaks” are sitting there laughing and saying that “everything's out and nothing's gonna happen,” noting that “we got away with the most horrifying stuff” and insisting that it’s “not even humanly possible to believe that this is happening.” The speaker repeats their inability to wrap their mind around “the fact that these things happened,” labeling it “unconscionable.” They ask, “what the fuck are we supposed to do? Genuinely, what the fuck are we supposed to do?”, conveying a sense of urgent seeking for guidance or action in response to the perceived revelations and their emotional impact.

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Picture ourselves as a pressure cooker that needs release. The speaker had a bad day with their partner while walking by a lake and suggested they scream into it. After warning nearby people, they all screamed together, with some crying. The speaker then decided that they needed to start "Scream Club."

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The speaker shares a disturbing experience involving Robyn and Ray. Robyn would sometimes be incoherent due to medication. The speaker recalls two specific incidents. In one, Ray made the speaker strip in front of him while thinking Robyn was asleep. The speaker felt embarrassed and uncomfortable, especially since they were only 14 and hadn't started using tampons yet. Ray then made the speaker sleep outside, even though it was cold. The speaker had to snuggle up with their dog for warmth. Ray threatened the speaker, saying he would hunt them down if they tried to run away or seek help. The next day, the speaker was allowed back inside. The speaker also expresses their disdain for Robyn, calling them a piece of shit.

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Speaker 1 recounts an incident where “eleven police officers” arrived at their house, which they describe as completely ridiculous. The speaker explains they had left the front door open and were waiting for their dad, actually being in the bath at the time the officers entered. They recall hearing their name called, noticing one female officer among the group of ten male officers. They initially thought the name might belong to their sister because they were upstairs in the bath. The officers then came up the stairs without giving them any privacy, and the speaker confirms they were naked. The speaker describes feeling disgusted and very upset, crying their eyes out. They asked that the female officer stay downstairs and that the male officers be the ones to handle the situation, expressing that they were upset about the lack of privacy and the presence of officers while exposed. Despite this, the males were sent downstairs, and the female officer sat with the speaker, who was crying and very distressed. When asked what the officers were there for, the speaker says they asked for clarification. The female officer explained that the police were there for “malicious communications. Hate crime and malicious communications.” The speaker pressed for more information about the reason behind the visit, and the officer indicated they would discuss the details “when we get to the police station” or “to the” authorities, but the exact phrasing in the transcript cuts off here.

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I couldn't explain it. I wish you could feel what it's like in my head. It was chaotic, with voices getting louder and louder. It triggered a psychotic break.

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The speaker is shocked, exclaiming "Holy crap" and stating they are going to "hit the top." They mention hitting the camera and express confusion about what is happening. The speaker notes that the bridge is shaking and that there are "a few booty going for the." They emphasize that there are people out there, describing the situation as "insane."

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The speaker describes today as not a good day emotionally. They express missing their patients and missing the ability to feel, to do, and to be human. The emotional experience fluctuates, coming and going. Some parts of the speaker have accepted the situation, while other stubborn parts have not. Overall, they are struggling with these feelings today.

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I taste her nipples, then get pulled back onto a table by my partner. Things get steamy with tongues, hands, and more. It's a wild foursome, with people watching and getting turned on. The speaker questions why this explicit content is in schools. Another person finds it revolting and inappropriate for educational settings. The book was still present that morning.

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I recall when I lost my mind. There was something enjoyable about that place.

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I recall the moment I lost my mind. There was a certain comfort in that space, where even emotions resonate. Being out there, carefree, made me feel disconnected.

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The speaker realized they had to stop caring what people thought and stop putting others on a pedestal. They believed everyone was better, fearing judgment and feeling worse about themselves. After calming down and observing the world, the speaker concluded that everyone is "fucked up" in their own way. Those who criticize others have simply hidden their own problems better. The speaker realized they were not alone in their struggles.

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Speaker 0 states they want to numb "fucked up feelings," prompting Speaker 1 to advise against turning to TikTok and to seek help. Speaker 1 accuses Speaker 2 of looking crazy and warns them to stay away from kids. Speaker 2 states they will slice a watermelon instead of numbing their feelings. Speaker 2 says they won't discuss the source of their feelings but wants to discuss how suppressing or numbing feelings makes them stronger and adds shame. Speaker 2 says that if they are sad, they want to just be sad, then eat a watermelon and be happy because it tastes good and is nutritious. Speaker 2 concludes that they feel sad but will get through it and that others can too, without alcohol or food to numb feelings.

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The speakers express excitement and disbelief at the number of people present. They mention being part of history and witnessing a chaotic scene. They discuss not wanting to go where people are getting hurt and feeling trapped. They mention locked doors and people breaking in. The speakers comment on the surreal nature of the situation and the possibility of the building being burned down. They talk about filming and being famous, as well as the need for peaceful protest. They mention seeing someone die and express concern about getting hurt. The transcript ends with a mention of love.

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The speaker reflected over the weekend, noting that while meditating on agony, they were attacked. They likened this experience to Jesus's suffering, which included mockery, ridicule, humiliation, and false allegations. The speaker stated that these attacks cannot be answered or defended against.

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The speaker describes the situation as pretty traumatizing, with reacting to whatever is happening and not being able to think straight. She mentions that the other person was crying during the event, and the speaker could not help because they were pretty helpless themselves. They note that, now, the person is getting better. The experience is affecting sleep, with both of them not sleeping well, and they say they’re very trumpetized from that.

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I recall the moment I lost my mind. There was an odd sense of comfort in that space.

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To see if I still feel, I focus on the pain because it's the only thing that feels real. The needle tears the hole, bringing that old familiar sting. I try to kill it all, but I remember everything.

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There was a lot of hate and it happened. We let it happen. The cops got involved and one of them stood on a guy. It was a chaotic situation.

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The speaker discusses their ultimate freedom and questions how others can know if they exist or not. They mention being feared in every girl's school and experiencing pain from someone putting their fingers inside them. The only person connected to their life was their mother, whom they became attached to. They sat with their mother for five days after she died, but they claim it didn't really happen in a macabre sense. They express displeasure at a picture drawn of them and mention that they have done nothing to deserve it. The speaker briefly mentions the importance of working in a hospital. The transcript abruptly ends.

This Past Weekend

64 Colors | This Past Weekend #97

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Theo Von outlines upcoming Dark Arts tour dates across North America, highlighting West Siloam Springs, Yuk Yuk's Calgary, Temblor Bakersfield, Levity Live Oxnard, Charlie Goodnights Raleigh, the Laugh Factory Chicago, Helium Buffalo, Zanies Nashville, with more dates to be added. He describes an outreach program for single mothers in every city the tour visits, funding babysitters, dinners, and premium seating; Patreon proceeds will cover these efforts. He mentions an additional fundraiser for the Paramount Theater in Wyoming, Illinois, on June 29, with 6 and 8 pm shows. He plugs Gray Block Pizza and Ridge Wallet, plus a West Coast Buds podcast with Joe DeMaio. Then he recounts his experience visiting Joe Rogan's show, describing nerves, appreciation for Joe's support, and how Rogan challenges his thinking on topics like infinite universes and meeting an exact self; he feels inspired and accepted in Rogan's environment, comparing Rogan to a big brother figure. He jokes about Rogan’s intellect, outer-space metaphors, and even imagines a Rogan “moon.” He notes Hollywood's changing climate and his own aim to stay open to new ideas. He reflects on emotions, tears, and the physical expression of feelings, musing about how emotions escape as tears, and even absurdly imagines a scenario where crying comes from the penis, then shifts to how emotions travel from chest through the throat to the soul. He contrasts powerful emotional moments with everyday life and jokes about bodily gas on the Paleo diet, describing gas as a “secret weapon” and even a detective-like mystery. The episode features a stack of listener calls and voicemails. Topics include a weekend story at a gas station involving six men; a Marine; safety concerns; and threats; a caller recounted finding a 14-inch turd in a soap dispenser at LA Fitness; advice for a woman dealing with an alcoholic boyfriend (urging medical detox, AA, sponsorship, 90 meetings in 90 days, and Al-Anon for the partner); discussions about family, secrets, and the value of vulnerability; stories of finding long-lost relatives, half-siblings, and surprising reunions; a brain-surgery update from Zach in Houston, who asks about risks and comfort with doctors; and a Live Raise video-question segment with mushroom-trip anecdotes about Joey Diaz and Rogan’s circle. He closes with reflections on personal growth, openness to new ideas, gratitude for listeners, and a nod to fans via Theo Von Comm and Gentilly Philly, a piece by Thomas Siple.