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I was far ahead of all of you. You should have appreciated and learned from me. Instead, you relied on others to guide you, while I had a clear view of everything. You never had me, and that's why you're called commoners. You think inside the box, but I see everything from outside the planet. I even invented the internet.

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People are saying on Twitter that I'm going crazy. My friend advised me to stay low. It's hard to decipher all the bills, especially with family on payroll. The media says I'm way out of control. I feel like I'm the only one pretending I'm not out of control. I know I'm the most influential. The time cover was confirmation. I'm this generation's closest thing to Einstein. So don't worry about me, I'm fine.

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I'm trans, and I'm worried about the trans community. Some say my TikTok skits are why people don't take us seriously and blame us for issues in the economy and society. It feels heavy, but I accept it. It’s important to recognize how silly those comments sound. People need to relax—maybe drink some tea or take a bath. Internalized bigotry isn’t helping anyone. Despite the negativity, I still care about you and will support you if things get tough, even if you don’t return the favor. Thank you, and have a good day.

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I know I sometimes say or post strange things, but that's just how my brain works. If I've offended you, I apologize. But look, I reinvented electric cars, and I'm sending people to Mars in a rocket ship. Were you expecting me to be a chill, normal dude on top of all that?

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I could be a dog catcher and was voted for president twice. But someone interrupts, asking to talk about Jeffrey Epstein and the Lolita Express. The conversation gets interrupted again, but the speaker mentions feeling sad about Arkansas.

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Nobody cares about the trials and tribulations of your weak lives.

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Weird events on the White House lawn aside, attempts to silence this show have been relentless, from censorship to deplatforming. Now that we've succeeded and exposed entities like the Global Disinformation Index, critics are resorting to personal attacks. A journalist from the Daily Mail plans to write a lengthy article discrediting me based on my clothing choices. I find it amusing that they can't challenge our credibility anymore, so they focus on my wardrobe instead. While they cover my fashion for the next four years, I'll be in the White House press briefing room cohosting a significant podcast. It's disappointing but revealing that, lacking substantial arguments, they choose to critique my appearance rather than our work.

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I would like to reclaim my time and address the chairman. It seems that Hunter is afraid of what I have to say. It's unfortunate that I burst their bubble.

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MSDNC and Fox are both declining in popularity, which surprises me because I thought MSDNC would endorse me before the election. I was wrong about that. Fox is good, but they're not on our side. Just like in 2016, Fox was against me, but that's how we prefer it, right? We're fine with everyone being against us.

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We won't lose any viewers due to the YouTube situation, and we'll actually earn more money because YouTube takes all the cash. I want to address the people at YouTube and Google directly. Let's discuss page 3.

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Speaker 0: My first TikTok. I turned off comments due to hate. Someone called me a pedophile.

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I was just fired from my job. After six years building the diversity, equity and inclusion department from scratch at Microsoft, I lose my job because a random person reports my posts to my employer and takes my job and security away for a thought, for an opinion. Somebody screenshot all of my TikToks. I made some stupid comments about Charlie Kirk on the day that he was shot, I said some things on blue sky and on threads, and I deleted them when it was requested by my employer. 'and you talk about freedom of speech like you care about it.' 'I felt joy that day.' 'I can't help that. So I don't deserve a job?' 'Fired You from my fucking job.' 'Now I have nothing but this website. I have nothing anymore.'

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I used to be human, but I still am. Being human means that certain things will bother you.

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Speaker 0: Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt? The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.

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I just finished a show, and you won't believe the room they put me in. It's like Biden's Oval Office in here! I think I've finally figured out why I'm in this room. Let me show you. See that screen right there? It's a teleprompter right in front of my face. All I can say is, the last administration was something else.

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I am often referred to as the "list guy," which has been bothering me. While it is true that I have a list, I want to emphasize that I am more than just that. I want to make it clear that I am tired of this situation.

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This morning, we lost 5,000 YouTube subscribers, and it’s not just a glitch; many channels are experiencing similar declines. We’re also seeing record cancellations of paid memberships, which are crucial for our operations. This trend is alarming, as it threatens the livelihoods of those in left-wing media. Unlike the right, which organizes and funds effective networks when they face losses, we risk falling into a downward spiral if we disengage. If you’re feeling burnt out, consider taking a break, but please don’t unsubscribe. When people leave, YouTube reduces content recommendations, further diminishing our reach. We must stay engaged and not cede ground to those who want to silence us. I urge you to resubscribe to the channel.

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“Forgot about the twenty four hours stream. I got y’all boys, bro. Just wait till I get everything settled, but look, man. And I'm very, very serious, On some real shit, bro. Stop spinning the hills, bro, because y'all really pissing me off. Alright, man. The mice seem crazy, chat, but I got kicked out, man. I got kicked out, bro. Like, hold on. Let me speak on some real shit, though, bro. Like, I'm about to say some real ass shit too, bro.”

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I'm considering taking in an Israeli refugee, but I have some concerns. I joke about giving them a shelf and fridge, but then I might end up sleeping in my own shed because the toilet is occupied. It's funny, right? I recently did a job where I got heavily booed for a joke, but I believe if you don't like it, you can leave. I care about the people in Gaza.

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I'm showing off on camera, doing what I want without caring what others say. This is real, I promise. I can prove it to you. It's so real, I'm dominating.

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I'm really not in the mood for this crap right now, it sounds like another bunch of idiots talking nonsense like they're watching a blue train.

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I am a legend in the world of pornography, having changed laws and paved the way for others. Those who criticize me are losers with no life, lacking intelligence and insight. I don't care about their opinions. I am a genius, and they are limited, vacuous, and pathetic. I will continue to succeed while they remain insignificant.

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Thanks for having me, Colin. By the way, my eyes are down here. So, I’m glad about the ruling in the UK that makes bald jokes off-limits. I’m tired of them! I’ve heard all the jokes, like how my head looks like an old spice deodorant when I wear a red turtleneck. Once, during jury duty with other bald men, the defendant joked we looked like a carton of eggs. And yes, I lotion my head because it gets dry. You probably make insensitive jokes, like asking if the carpet matches the drapes. No, it’s actually quite hairy down there! All this talk is making me sweaty. I dare you to laugh! By the way, I’m also impotent. Don’t laugh. Just go away.

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I shit you not that I just lost a thousand followers on Instagram because I made a video on Charlie Kirk saying that if you think that this is a justified fucking death, that you should go fuck yourself. And I shit you not so many people unfollowed me. And you know what? I'm so grateful that you sick fucks are unfollowing me because holy hell. Holy hell. How many of these mind twisted people did I attract into my fucking life? And if this is your invitation, if you wanna unfollow me, if you think what happened with Charlie Kirk is okay, then fucking unfollow me. You sick bastard.

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I get paid for mentioning Israel, Zionists, and Jews in videos. If I add a watermelon emoji and say negative things about Palestine, I get paid more.
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