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My wife wanted to share a Spanish life hack with you all. I'd like you to meet my second wife, who is also a friend. Welcome!

What's going on with your friends today? I think Charlene is flying, and I've got my uniform on.

I really hope there's a reunion. Have you met Jen before? No, I haven't. But I was just hanging out with Lisa and Courtney. They invited me over for pizza, and Judd Apatow was there too. It was pretty cool. I haven't met some of the guys or Jen yet. You should definitely meet Jen!

Great to see you! It's been a while since the Dallas Gala. Thank you for taking the time to meet. It's my pleasure.

I tell you to smile, not to paint until you're 30. I ask Angel, who is 12 years old, her name and age multiple times. The problem is that you guys have a hardship.

Speaker 0: Gotcha. I mean, do you think that she's you think that she's I mean, do you think that she's attractive or no?

Speaker 0 presents a disturbing set of preferences expressed as a personal viewpoint. The speaker rejects any idea of waiting or gradual enjoyment, insisting, “No, bitch. I wanna drink it straight from the tap. I want it raw. I don't wanna wait a moment. Right when the milk is good, I wanna start drinking the milk.” This metaphor is used to describe a desire for immediacy and immediacy in relationships. The speaker then extends the metaphor to women, arguing against aging in a traditional, patient way. They state, “Same thing goes with women. I don't wanna turn 30 and find some 20 year old, 29 year old woman that I have something in common with and it's like, hey, properly aged like wine. Women don't age like wine, they age like milk. They don't age like wine. That's not how their hormones work.” The claim asserts that women do not age gracefully like wine, but rather age like milk, contradicting the notion of aging well. Continuing, the speaker proposes a specific, controversial timeline for marriage and reproduction. They say, “I gotta find my 16 year old wife. Probably when I turn 30 or something.” They justify this with calculations about age differences: “Here's the thing, I don't wanna be like, let's say I get married to an 18 year old now. Six year age difference. When I turn 40, she's gonna be 34. Ew. Well, if I'm 30 and she's 16, fourteen year age difference. When I'm 50, she'll be 36. When I'm 40, she'll be 26.” The speaker draws a progressive, increasingly favorable age difference for themselves as they age. The speaker amplifies their stance with an explicit age preference, saying, “Now we're talking here. Now we're cooking with gas. Now you can see an alternative vision for how things could be. I want a 16 year old who's untouched. Untouched, pristine. Untouched, uncorrupted, innocent.” They further claim, “That's what we all want. And all 16 year olds want an older guy who's like capable and strong and everything to sweep them off their feet. That's what everybody wants. That's what everybody wants.” Overall, the transcript centers on a provocative, highly problematic set of beliefs about age, consent, and the supposed desirability of a 16-year-old partner, framed through aggressive metaphors and explicit preferences.

She was pregnant and just had a baby. Now, she wants to make a change.

Speaker 0: There's more than one person I'm dating. Sarah is the one. They are the one. Speaker 1: Are you joking? I thought it was just one person. Speaker 0: No, it's just Sarah. They don't identify as male or female. They are queer.

The speaker instructs someone to stand next to them and asks the people in the back to spread out. They mention a toy and ask someone to smile, but then correct themselves and say no smiling until they're 30. The speaker addresses someone named Angel and asks their age, to which Angel responds 12. The speaker comments on how tough Angel and their friends have it and refers to them as "sister."

At 18, she has choices. At 18, you have nothing. At 25, she looks for love. At 25, you're chasing goals. At 30, she slows down. At 30, you're just getting started. Dear son, a woman's life starts at 18. A man's life starts at 30. A woman is born with value. A man is born with no value. She has to protect her value. You have to build your value. I didn't make the rules. Nature did.

Someone hopes there's a reunion. They have not met Jen before, but recently hung out with Lisa and Courtney, along with Judd Apatow, for pizza. They haven't met some of the guys or Jen. The speaker suggests that they should meet Jen.

Colin, stand next to me. Okay, people in the back, spread out. Hey, Angel, how old are you? I'm 12. How old do you think I am? I'm old. You guys have a heartache.

Jordan's probably a virgin. So I'm setting Jordan up with my friend Erica. She's beautiful, and she happens to be religious.

Miranda has remained the same over the 9 years I've known her, keeping all her wonderful qualities from childhood.

In the early years, not many people were aware that Norm had stomach cancer. We were best buddies during that time, sharing many moments together.

Pretty close. How are you doing? Oh, just shut up. You're all dressed up today. Thank you very much.

I don't want to make it personal with her. We're not really friends anymore. That's just the reality of the situation we're in.

The nuclear family is a scam. We shouldn't be doing this alone.

It's okay, Shirley. Just let her relax. We'll take our time.

Speaker 0 asks Angel, who is 12 years old, how she is doing. He mentions not smiling until she's 30. Speaker 1 talks about liking kids more than adults. They discuss getting someone to do something. Speaker 0 mentions grandpa and what his dad used to say to his granddaughter.

I'm back living at my mom's house. She told me I can unlock the door in my room without a key. I know how it works, Mom. I'm 41, I've seen that type of doorknob before.

What do you think of her appearance? Do you find her attractive or not?

I stopped counting at a hundred partners. So, you must have a lot of experience with nineteen years and a hundred partners. If I say twenty partners, that's still quite a number.