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I'm a bit nervous, but I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. How's everyone doing tonight? Are we ready to make history? We have the opportunity to change the next eight years and ensure Kamala Harris is in office for that time. Thank you!

Kamala Harris sucks.

The speaker nicknames a horse Obama because it's powerful, doesn't associate with black herds, and has a white horse following it. Another horse is called Tim Waltz, described as cuddly but not fitting in. The speaker repeatedly asks "Kamala, can you answer a few questions?" The speaker concludes that there's only one real drunk running for president and sees no need to name a horse after him.

Maybe I'm gay, and maybe my wife is a man, but it doesn't matter. Just go out and vote for Kamala. We've already dealt with Joe, so let's focus on winning this thing. We'll figure everything else out later.

Here I come! Who's number one on the invitation list? Leonardo DiCaprio! That's why I'm voting for Kamala Harris. Got it? Oh, wow!

Kamala Harris is out of a job, and here are some potential career options for her. She could be a foreign accent coach, teaching various accents. Another option is becoming president of Harvard University, where plagiarism and incompetence seem to be qualifications. She might also excel as a spoken word slam poet, or as a designated laugher for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Other suggestions include being a play-by-play commentator for the Oakland Athletics, a DEI consultant for video games, a vodka sommelier, a school bus driver, or a campaign finance manager. What job do you think she would be perfect for? Share your thoughts in the comments.

If Kamala Harris wins, I'm leaving America. Dropping a diss track on my birthday. Get ready.

Hi, it's Kamala Harris. Our rights are being threatened, but we're not alone. Let's fight back together. Remember, your vote is powerful. Register at vote.gov. Amen! Don't forget to vote in November.

The speaker directly addresses Kamala Harris, expressing anger at Harris for contacting them. The speaker asserts they are not Harris's friend, referencing their debate performance against Trump. They demand to know if Harris supports their campaign. The speaker declares they will never support Harris's "scam pain" and references Willie Brown, telling Harris not to contact them again. They then call Harris "Skamala Come."

I am Kamala Harris, a diverse candidate for president. I learned from Joe Biden how to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and talk about the passage of time. My international politics knowledge is shocking. Remember, voting is about the future, not the past. If you thought the last 4 years were bad, just wait. Thank you.

I wish I could talk to someone like me—a black South Asian woman running for president from the Bay Area. It's great to see you, Kamala. Remember, you can open doors in ways your opponent can't. The American people want to end the chaos and enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere, maybe even with a fun twist on popular culture. We share a belief in the promise of America. Let's bring it in for a moment. I’m voting for us! Are you registered in Pennsylvania? Unfortunately, no. It was worth a try. And live from New York is Stephanie Jones.

I am Kamala Harris, a diverse candidate for president. I learned from Joe Biden to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and praise North Korea. Remember, voting means moving on from Biden. The country will change more if I win. Thank you.

Kamala covered up Joe's mental decline and took charge, resulting in a border crisis, inflation, and the demise of the American dream. They are aware of Kamala's failed record. This message is sponsored by Make America Great Again Inc.

The speaker is endorsing Kamala Harris. The speaker asks why, and what position or endorsement influenced them. They refer to a country built on repelling against tax, characterizing this as a feature, not a bug. The speaker states they will go through "g in the heart."

Kamala Harris is criticized for lacking professional competence and using the "casting couch" to advance her career. The speaker compares her to a "hoe" and questions her ability to impress world leaders like Putin and Xi Jinping. The speaker suggests that Harris may not have the necessary talent to succeed beyond a certain level despite her tactics.

I am Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate chosen for diversity. I learned from Joe Biden to hide incompetence. I talk about insignificant things as significant, like the passage of time. I try to sound black and mimic Obama. Despite failures, I tout a strong relationship with North Korea. Remember, voting unburdens us from the past, meaning Biden. If you think things are bad now, just wait. Thank you.

The speaker quotes John Wayne: "Life is hard, but it's harder when you're stupid," and applies it to Kamala Harris. The speaker believes life has been hard because of her, and imagines how hard life must be for Harris herself. The speaker concludes that Harris is not fit for her job and "we have to beat her."

The speaker claims Vice President Kamala Harris, also known as "Cum Queen La Imhoff," is a corrupt witch who slept her way to the top. The speaker alleges Harris has two Jewish children she adopted and is married to a Jewish husband. The speaker further claims Harris was a "frat hoe" at Howard University and isn't Black. The speaker then mentions meeting Harris's father in Jamaica.

The process started at the grassroots level, and today we are endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris. I am applauding, but you don't have to. Translation: The process began at the grassroots level, and today we are endorsing Vice President Kamala Harris. I am clapping, but you do not have to.

I'm a bit nervous, but this moment is important to me. I need patience here. How's everyone doing tonight? Are we ready to make history and change the next eight years? Let's ensure Kamala Harris is in office for eight years. Thank you.

"She's shit right now. We don't play with no rhythm. We do it. Don't play my slide on post grade. We'll guess like that. No cap. Three switches right here. And I put the That's just enough right there. One, two, three. That's enough. We don't get our shit, though. We don't even get"

I am Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate chosen for diversity. I learned from Joe Biden to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I emphasize the significance of time passing and try to sound like Barack Obama. Despite past failures, I tout a strong alliance with North Korea. When voting, consider moving forward from the past, which includes Joe Biden. If you thought the last 4 years were bad, just wait.

Who needs personality when you can change who you are at the push of a button? Meet Accent Switch Kamala, the first black female president doll. She can mimic any accent for credibility. But that’s not all—she comes with campaign money, a blind eye to illegal immigration, and a multi-lap generator. Laugh in every way possible with her quirky phrases. “The money is coming,” she says, and “I love ice cream.” Plus, there’s Tampon Tim, adding to the fun. Remember, Kamala’s grandma always reminded her to wash her hands before dinner.

I squeak like a chirping grasshopper or a squeaky screen door. I want to be a backup girl. What's wrong with Justin's hair? We need a global movement. Men think we go from oral to anal, but I don't anymore. I think about Lisa and horses. Welcome back. Kader is spelled k h a d r. Omar Connery has more class than the entire cabinet. Thank you.

I am Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate. I am grateful to Joe Biden for highlighting his weaknesses during the debate. I bring diversity as a woman and person of color. I learned from Joe to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and emulate Barack Obama. Despite past mistakes, I emphasize moving forward without Biden. The country will change if I am elected. Thank you.