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Donald Trump has not even been president-elect for a week, and already there are alarming reports of people facing significant debt. One example is a woman named Kamala Harris, who found herself $20 million in debt shortly after Trump took office. This situation raises concerns about Trump's economic impact. If only Kamala Harris had won; she is perceived as being better with money.

I'm not going to hold back any longer, it's time the truth comes out about certain celebrities. Tom Hanks is a pedophile, and at the top levels of wealth and power, these people are sick and psycho. If more folks went to church, we wouldn't be in this mess we're in now. I agree with you. I like to shake your hand, sir. Maybe I'll start a show for you to come on, and we'll call it White Jeopardy. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way. In the end, he obviously didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. I know he's your friend, but I don't care. You had to make your own way here in your own plane, didn't you?

I remember you from New York. You told me to go back where I came from. Who did you come here with? Did you get paid by the Democrats? Go home, you're a loser. I'm going to the strip club, everything's on me. Let's party.

I just need a few minutes. I’m looking for someone to sponsor my college expenses. We already have solar, and I’m not interested in that. I need $10,000 to pay off my student loans. I’ve worked hard for 20 years to get where I am. I saved for my home and my car. Why should I pay for your choices? An educated populace benefits society. I learned a lot in college, including how art and science are problematic. You spent $200,000 on gender studies? Yes, and that’s why people like you should support people like me. I worked hard, and my wife put herself through college without help. We’re not giving you $10,000 for your studies. By the way, sponsoring graduates is mandatory now, so I need that money. Give it to me!

People are saying on Twitter that I'm going crazy. My friend advised me to stay low. It's hard to decipher all the bills, especially with family on payroll. The media says I'm way out of control. I feel like I'm the only one pretending I'm not out of control. I know I'm the most influential. The time cover was confirmation. I'm this generation's closest thing to Einstein. So don't worry about me, I'm fine.

I want to talk about waste, fraud, and abuse. People like President Musk and Trump are using their public offices to enrich themselves by billions of dollars. Why is there silence about looking into the actions of the president and the richest man on Earth? I will say President Musk and Trump often use their public offices to enrich themselves. I will withdraw calling Trump "grifter-in-chief." It's despicable that this committee is silencing me for bringing up that Trump is making millions of dollars.

I only have 30 seconds, but we have to fuck Trump. I don't ask for much, but I'm gonna come. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, they all came, many times. The bankers have all come. Everybody's coming. Please don't tell my children I just said that.

I'm done being the federal government's piggy bank. I'm tired of hearing about trillions of unaccounted dollars while the IRS is seizing our assets and wages. We're overtaxed while congresspeople get away with insider trading and pay next to nothing. My husband and I pay more in taxes than some people make in a year. I won't do it anymore. We need to protest in the streets and demand a tax halt. I don't care if the states or the federal government suffers, especially when they're wasting our money on ridiculous studies. I’m struggling to afford groceries and gas. We need a tax halt until they figure this out, President Trump. Period.

I'm stuck in the gutter, there's no way out. Save me from this crazy woman, she's driving me insane. She's my baby, but I need my money. Pay me what you owe me. I'm all set and ready to go.

I am getting deprogrammed from the mega calls. CNN profits from war and Project Mockingbird continues. You never discuss Jeffrey Epstein and Bill Clinton. I'm not suicidal. What I said to Mrs. Clinton was wrong. Your hair color is called aposomatism. Democrats only care about votes, not people of color. Joyce, coloring your hair blonde is cultural appropriation. BlackRock doesn't control presidents. Stop trying to blackmail Elon Musk.

Bobby, it's your favorite president here. I forgive you for being a loser about the election results. It's not your fault you have a low IQ. Believe me, I won, and Kamala lost big time. You were wrong. You're a total loser, and your show sucks. You're going to get low ratings. It's a disgrace to go from raging gold to raging nobody. It's a horror. Kamala's probably getting drunk somewhere, the f***ing virgin. Can you believe this guy calling your favorite president a virgin? Look at that crowd; it's a disgrace. But don't worry, we already won big. Come here, paparazzi! I love this guy. Do you want to do a little dance?

Bobby, it's been over 20 years since you made a good movie. I want a cameo in "Meet the Fockers Sick." Together, we can make movies great again. I just want to have a nice conversation with you. Since you're not home, I'm leaving you a party gift: my new favorite fight, fight, fight, along with a cameo from me. There's no better Christmas gift than a merry Christmas from Donald Trump. Hello, sir! What’s that? Film him? I’m not supposed to? That’s okay; you can call the police if you want. I’m just leaving a little gift right here.

Okay, so the richest guy in the world is on our team. I know that's a tough pill to swallow if you are competitive, but it's true. I tried to find someone smarter than him, believe me, I searched everywhere, but I couldn't do it. For the good of the country, we settled on the best person for the job. Thanks for having me.

I wish I had a brain to concentrate on my presidential powers and avoid being indicted. I could blame the Russians for my son's addiction and crimes. Inflation is rising, and we weaponized the FBI. I admit to stealing the last election and being a loser. I am a perverted weirdo who takes showers with my daughter. If only I had a brain.

Listen to this. I can't believe these numbers: $10 million for Beyoncé to support Kamala Harris, $5 million each for Megan Thee Stallion and Lizzo, and $1.8 million for Eminem. Is this how it usually works? Also, how much do you think Donald Trump paid Elon Musk? Can Trump even afford Musk? It seems like these are just fake relationships where people are paid to pretend to support each other. This is ridiculous.

Bobby, it's your favorite president here. I forgive you for being a loser about the election; it's not your fault you have a low IQ. Believe me, I won, Kamala lost big time. You're wrong, and you're a total loser. Your show sucks and will get low ratings. You've gone from raging bull to nobody, a disgrace. It's a horror. Kamala's probably drunk somewhere. Can you believe that guy called me the president of Virgin? Look at that crowd. It's a disgrace, but we won big, okay? Come here, paparazzi! I love this guy. Want to do a little dance? Come here.

What do you want? The Lord caught up with me. How did this happen? I’m facing charges for election subversion, retaining classified information, and payments to an adult film star. I don’t know what to do. Just say it wasn’t you. The feds found my top secret documents on the bathroom floor, and now I’m indicted for election interference. I tried to hide them from what they were about to see. How can I get away with this when they don’t take cash payments?

That's Robert De Niro's house, and I hired an actor to play his illegitimate son, Ja'Marcus. I'm back, it's your favorite president! You didn't come out last time, so I hired an investigator and found your illegitimate son, Jamarcus. I'm officially placing $200,000,000 in tariffs on your building until you come out and speak to me and your son, Jamarcus. His mother, Laquisha, who you abandoned very strongly, got shot. I'm officially adopting Jamarcus myself. Believe me. I hired a private investigator, I'm kidding. The goal was to troll him. I found out about his premiere and knew he would be there. My younger brother is a bit of an autograph hound and knows where all the celebrities are going to be. Plus, I have a friend at TMZ. I have a little network of people helping me out.

I have a great company and tremendous income, and this country needs someone running it who understands money, given our $20 trillion in debt. It's bad enough to have that debt, but our infrastructure is crumbling; our airports resemble those of a third-world country. We owe $20 trillion and are a mess. We've spent $6 trillion in the Middle East, enough to rebuild our country twice. Politicians like Secretary Clinton caused this. We're a debtor nation needing new roads, tunnels, bridges, airports, schools, and hospitals, but we lack the funds due to squandered resources. You're responsible because you haven't paid federal income tax for years. It would be squandered too.

Are you going to sleep? Would you like the lights off? Sorry, insufficient funds. Learn a trade for an hourly wage. Lunch is served. Caller in jail needs $10,000 for a defense lawyer. Insufficient funds. Plead guilty for a plea deal of 5 to 7 years. I plead guilty.

Hey, Oprah. Good morning! How do you think the election went? Not discussing the elections, thank you. Is it true you were paid a million dollars for endorsing Kamala? Not true. I was paid nothing. What do you think about the celebrities leaving? I'm not talking about that. Do you think Prince Harry will lose his visa now that Trump is president? Thank you, Oprah.

I want to talk about anime. I'm connected and not afraid of being locked up. My friends are in denial about their life sentences in jail. My mugshot is famous and worth a lot. Some merchant in Philly gave me a billion dollars. I have support from rappers who ride with me. I'm not the target, but I won't let them get to you. I'm not starting over, I don't need to prove myself. Even if I go to prison, I won't be treated like the Clintons. I'll be eating steak with the secret service. Shout out to my MAGA supporters. I'll stop the new world order and secure the border.

So, we've got breaking news: Trump's been arrested for *not* being on Epstein's client list, while Bill Clinton wins for most trips to the island. I want to thank my wife and Monica. Jeffrey, this one's for you! Welcome to client list anonymous. My name is Tom Hanks, and I'm on the list. It’s been three weeks, but no one will ever know. I'm Bill, and it's been two days. I was lonely watching Cuties, and boom, a million-dollar hush money payment. Epstein Island? They got my associate, so case closed! I never met Jeffrey, no sexual relations happened on Epstein Island. Don't worry, nobody will ever know. That’s Jeffrey's client list. Trump isn't on it! You'll fry for this. I didn't even know there were clients.

I'm speaking to Republicans today. Watch your checking accounts, savings, investments, healthcare, social services, education, and food programs. Trump, Musk, and their followers are coming after you to line their own greedy pockets. Social programs, healthcare, food, and social services are being cut to create tax breaks for the wealthy. Many of you thought voting for Trump was a joke to stick it to the liberals, but now he's laughing all the way to the bank. We Democrats are going to do everything we can to save this country. It is that serious, and we will help save you too.

Hi. This is Taco Bell. How can I take your order? Donald cut it out. It's me. You've gotta take down that sombrero meme. It's embarrassing me. Embarrassing? The sombrero makes Hakim look better than ever. Donald, this is serious. Okay. I'll tell you what. I'll take it down if you reopen the government. Look. I need these illegals to have health care so I can keep eating Taco Bell without feeling guilty. There it is. You care more about illegals than you do our own citizens. You're cooking Americans the same way you cook your hamburgers, raw, careless, and making everybody sick. I'm begging you, mister