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I've got a little job for you. Would you like to take this Jim or fix it? It's for my friend, and he can handle it himself. Thank you for joining us. It's been quite an experience, and I'm still getting used to it. Good night from everyone here. I see a young lady who wants to help with one of your paintings. That's a great idea! Can I safely leave her in your care? As for me, I'm looking forward to working when I'm 65, maybe as a caretaker at a girls' school or something similar.

FBI. We have a warrant. Open the door. Hey, Bill, what's inside? Come on in. George, put your hands up.

You're all set for room 237. Enjoy your stay! I'm looking for the secret Hollywood Republican meeting. It's down the hall to your right. Hi, I'm Kira, new here to meet like-minded people. I have a black friend named Justin. Oh, okay. I also have a black friend. I'm Keith, and I love Kanye West. I took a hip hop class once. I'm Rick, and I saw Dave Chappelle last night. I know what you're trying to do; we can talk about anything else. I'll have a strawberry margarita. Isn't it crazy that LA wants to reinstate mask mandates? Yes, the pandemic is over. Did you take a selfie with me to prove there’s a black person here? No. I heard about this place from my conservative coworker. I love black people; I have a black friend named Justin. Oh, so you're their black friend? No, I just met them once. Hi, I'm Kira, and I have a gay friend. I'm not gay.

When we go undercover, we cover antiques. Can you put that back in? Thank you. It feels better. You guys get sprayed. Here.

Come on in! It's no big deal, just come into your own house. Whose house is it? It's mine! So come on in and have fun. You've had enough, haven't you? What the shit? Okay.

Get a rainbow! I'm like a guy. Angry Michael, I’ll call the cops. You won’t do anything. I just stepped on your jacket, Michael. What’s up with that? It’s crazy. What do you think of Michael Jackson, people? You look alike!

Wait, what about the tiger? How did it get in there? I don’t remember. Shh, Stu, get it down. It’s a side effect of Rufe’s memory loss. Come on, do we need a musical? Don’t let anyone know this. Who are you? Quiet. Mike Tyson? Why is there a tiger in your bathroom? That was unnecessary. I’m a huge fan; when you knocked out Holmes, that was impressive. Look, we were drugged last night and have no memory of what happened.

When we go undercover, we cover antiques. Can you put that back in? Thank you. It feels better? You guys get sprayed. Here.

It's been a tough time, but we're ready to help you out. You lost your honey wagon while in the big house, but we can get you set up for just $1.30 a month. What are you talking about, J Rock? Can you just be straightforward? I wish I could do more, but things are tight. Tyrone, can you fill me in? I missed something about Corey and Trevor dropping off hydro gear and business not going well. It's good to have you back in the park. Where are the keys to this thing?

The speaker conducts a word association test, responding to words like "dog" and "rain" with "tree" and "snow," respectively. The test escalates to racial slurs, including "Negro," "Tar Baby," "Colored," "Redneck," "Jungle Bunny," "Peckerwood," "Birdhead," "Cracker," "Spearchucker," "White trash," "Hunkin'," and "Spade." The speaker then says "Nigger. Dead hunky." Following this, the speaker offers a starting salary of $5,000, then $75,100 a year, and finally $15,000 to "mister Wilson," calling it the highest janitor salary in America. The speaker asks them not to hurt him, and tells Wilson to take a couple of weeks off because he looks tired.

He's getting his disguise on. "I'm gonna wear a mask underneath the mask. You should wear this." They discuss which hat to wear, "this" or "this," and bring both in the backpack. "Oh my god. The America mask." "You're gotta blend in. I know you can't stomach wearing it, but, like, you need to blend in." "You can't you have to have a visual identifier." "The American hat might be my move, but we'll see." "We'll keep I'll bring them both in my backpack." "Oh, wait. We're ready to We're ready." They wonder if they're committing crimes: "I work I don't know if we're committing crimes doing this, but you know, like, we're" "Are you insinuating that I don't work for all three of these companies simultaneously?" "I am at least a little bit insinuating that." "They they won't trust you unless there's a visual like, there's something visual."

Pick it out, read it, and answer. Public place, you did it. Is this the best or the worst? The best. Probably the Obama thing. What is your wife talking about? We heard a lot in there. Who should get back in? We're not gonna discuss that. Secret Service, come here. Hi, look at y'all. We're not talking about it. That's an awesome answer. Not the White House. We were not at the White House. He was not elected yet. Anyway, moving on. I'm in trouble now. No, you're good.

Speaker 0: Hey, glad to see you all. You guys are patriots. Look at this guy, covered in blood. Are you okay? Need medical attention? I'm good, thanks. I got shot in the face with a plastic bullet. Can you guys leave the senate wing? We will. I'm making sure they don't disrespect anything. Just so you know, this place is sacred.

Alright, recruits, we're heading to a location that might be filled with illegals to take down. We're just here for questioning, cooperate and nothing bad will happen. I'm really sorry about this, I've got a monthly nut, you know. I gotta make my nut. Did a good job in there, soldier. I know it's tough doing what's hard, but we could use more men like you. What the Your Botox, miss Norm? Fix me up. Another day doing what's tough. Welcome to Mora Lago. Oh, you, mister president. Excuse me. I'm sorry. Backpack. Doorly explorer. Excuse me.

The plumber arrives to fix a leak on a fancy gold faucet. The client, who considers himself a prince, boasts about his lavish office decor. The plumber mocks the client's taste, leading to a heated exchange about their appearances. The client threatens the plumber, who points out the irony of their similar hairstyles, despite being a janitor.

Speaker 0: Welcome back to Jake GTV news. Did you see ICE shooting American citizens? Speaker 1: I thought they were supposed to get rid of the illegals, though. Speaker 0: Me too. Let's go to Ching Chong on the murder scene. Speaker 1: Chloe and Michael, good morning. We're here in Minneapolis where ICE agents trained by Israel are causing chaos. We go to John for more. Speaker 0: Thanks, Ching Chong. Thought it was only Libtards who opposed this, but they are literally murdering Americans. Back to you in the studio. Speaker 2: Stand back. Speaker 1: Please don't hurt me, sir Ed. I'm here to get rid of the illegals, grandma. Speaker 0: Wow. Thanks, John. Check this out here. It's from the protest. Here we see an agent assault a woman for simply being at the protest. Speaker 3: Then Alex steps in to help her Speaker 0: get back on her feet, and Speaker 4: the agents pepper spray him and proceed to assault him. Speaker 0: They then proceed to remove his legally owned firearm and shoot him in the back roughly 10 times, not even kidding. Holy shit. Speaker 1: Please tell me they're gonna jail. Speaker 0: Nope. They're on administrative leave while the FBI pretends to care. Dude, what? Let's see what Trump's team has to say. Speaker 5: Very, very unfortunate incident. I don't like that he had a gun. I don't like the fact that he was carrying a gun. Speaker 6: You know, you can't have guns. You can't walk in with guns. You just can't. And you can't listen. You can't walk in with guns. You can't do that, but it's it's a very unfortunate incident. Speaker 7: Do you Speaker 1: agree with Trump, Steen? Speaker 6: Oh, hell yeah. Guns are bad now. Didn't you get the memo? Speaker 1: What about the second amendment? Speaker 6: It's all four d chess, honey. Trust the plan. Speaker 1: Sup, bro? How do you feel about ICE? Speaker 0: This country needs more Indians than blacks. Check your privilege. Speaker 1: Dude, when did everybody get so retarded? Was it the vaccines or something? We go to the investigation team to learn more. Speaker 8: Thanks, Ching Chung. So basically, we uncovered that not only is ICE Embassy located in Tel Aviv, but they're using the same technology they used to genocide the Palestinians. Speaker 0: It's a freaking Jewish spyware by Paragon Solutions called Graphite, and check this out. Tell me why Alex Pretty was googled a month prior to the shooting and, again, five minutes before his death. Make of that what you will. Back to you guys. Wow. Wasn't the Homeland Security's own Twitter page being run from Israel? Speaker 1: Yeah. Same with ICE's embassy, Tel Aviv to be exact. Speaker 0: Freaking Jews, man. Speaker 9: Shut it down. He was an unhinged lefty who thought our Chobus Goy Trumpstein was a dictator. He kicked the taillight the week prior, so he deserved to be gunned down like a dog. Speaker 1: Air that. Jeez, Producer Berg, chill. Speaker 0: Gosh, he's so Talmudic. Speaker 1: Right. Always victim. Speaker 0: Anyways, here's their emotional justification for cold blooded murder. Speaker 1: That was a pretty good leg kick. Speaker 0: Right? Let's get Shapiro Steen's take on this whole thing. Speaker 10: Just because we didn't arrest anyone for the Epstein files, genocide, or our poisonous mRNA doesn't mean we won't also get away with murdering Boyum. After all, he kicked a taillight. Speaker 0: Yeah. I guess you're right, Shapiro Steen. Israel is our greatest ally. Speaker 1: You're not getting a raise. Speaker 0: Discount on your only freaks? Speaker 1: Not a chance. Ching chong, take it away. Gosh, dude. You're such a weak little simp. She's a literal succubus. Speaker 0: Anyways, let's take a tour with the IDF, I mean ice. Whoops. What was your training like? We were supposed to be trained for this? Speaker 0: Yeah. We've got an antiseptic on the next block. Get ready to murder. Stop resisting. Did you see me shoot that senior citizen? Yeah. Definitely not an immigrant, he sure had it coming. Let's see what Diego's up to. Speaker 2: I will tell you this, brother. What? You know? I will tell you this. You raise your voice? I raise your voice. Speaker 1: Wow. Isn't that like against the law? Speaker 0: You'd think so but they'll end up getting paid administrative leave and mental health support. Speaker 1: Seriously? Speaker 0: Dead ass. If I Speaker 11: raise my voice, you'll erase Speaker 2: my Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker 11: Are you serious? You said, if I raise my voice, you'll erase my voice? Speaker 1: Yes. Mhmm. Mhmm. Ice. You guys are saving this country. Speaker 0: Didn't they kill that American woman last week? Renee Good or something? Speaker 1: That non chosen person? She was lesbian leftist Karen. Who cares? Speaker 0: Whatever you say, Daisy. No. Speaker 7: No. Shit. Shit. Oh my fucking god. What the fuck? What What the the fuck? Fuck? Speaker 0: You might be wondering, why Minneapolis? Tim Waltz ushered in a defund the police initiative, which created a perfect opportunity for Trump's team to bring about the first AI surveillance state. You know what they say, create the problem, usher in the solution. Tom, back to you. Exactly. Speaker 0: So Peter Thiel, a close advisor to J. D. Vance, founded Palantir, the company that built the AI surveillance system used to target sand people. That same technology was sold to ICE and rebranded as Immigration OS, creating a satanic surveillance network to monitor Americans. Speaker 9: Shut it down, Tom. That's not for the normies to understand. Keep it up and I'll turn you into a lampshade like I did with Jackie. Back to the Goyslop or you're canceled. Speaker 12: Goyslop Junior's Goyslop Filet is back, and it's got more seed oils than ever. Speaker 0: I hate myself. Goyslop Junior. Speaker 7: Go on. Speaker 6: Enjoy cancer. Speaker 1: Gosh, that looks good. Speaker 0: Producer Verk said if we stop talking about Palantir, Goyslap Junior will cater to the Super Bowl party. Speaker 1: Alright. Speaker 0: Zipped. Let's just have Eric Warsaw break it down for us. Speaker 12: Palantir. The same company that is run by the hardline Zionist Alex Karp who works closely with Israeli military, will now be in charge of America's civilian data collection. We built Foundry, which was just was used to distribute the COVID vaccine and saved millions of lives globally. Palantir is here to disrupt and make our the institutions we partner with the very best in the world, and when it's necessary to scare enemies and on occasion kill them. Speaker 12: And also, the target selections for the US military, police forces, and even target selections for ICE officers. Speaker 1: That's right, Eric. We're giving our data to the Israeli Jew whose AI targeted over fifty percent of the civilian deaths in Gaza. Here he is. Speaker 7: Your AI and your technology from Palestine to kill Palestinians. Speaker 13: Mostly terrorists. Speaker 1: And by terrorists, he means anyone who opposes their families being genocided, including women and children. This guy. Speaker 9: Shut it the heck down. Say goodbye to your Goyslav junior catering. Remember what happened to Charlie? You're next. Run the freaking commercials. Speaker 0: Want to express yourself? Well, now you can. I always wonder how dumb this going sometimes can be. Speaker 7: TikTok, Speaker 0: Now owned by the Jews at BlackRock. Speaker 7: We're watching that. Speaker 0: Wow. I thought China owning our data was bad. Now you can't even say Zionist without getting flagged. Speaker 1: Straight up. It's like, give it back to China at this point. Speaker 0: Anything's better than Jews at this point. Speaker 1: Right? It's like take a freaking joke, let alone facts. Speaker 0: That's based. We go to John for some breaking news. Thanks, guys. Couldn't have said it better. And this just in, we're taking over Greenland because it was promised to us by Lucifer himself. So take it away, Satan. Speaker 14: By the way, what are we doing with Greenland? We gotta do something with Greenland. Where's my advance team? Go to Greenland. They must have some satellite needs or something that we could do there. But we are coloring the world blue. Speaker 0: So satanic. Speaker 1: Right? Isn't Greenland the central hub for the undersea data cables connecting North America, Europe, and Asia? Speaker 0: Bingo. Speaker 0: Ching Chong joins us live from Greenland. Speaker 1: We're here in Greenland, and not only is it located on a gold mine of rare earth minerals, but its freezing temperatures are the perfect natural coolant for the AI supercomputers needed to power the new world order that will enslave humanity. Eric Morsaw, break it down for us. Speaker 12: If you thought George Orwell's 1984 was a bad surveillance state, wait until you see what Israel's Palantir can do with AI technology or America. It's gonna make the movie The Matrix look mild. Speaker 1: Thanks, Eric. But to truly understand the endgame, you need to understand their ultimate prize, Jerusalem's Golden Dome. The satanic cabal believes controlling this one holy site lets them hijack God's story for billions and install the Antichrist. Let's hear what Trump's theme has to say about it. Speaker 5: We will have all everything we want. We're getting everything we want at no cost. Speaker 10: So the so the Golden Dome will be on Greenland? Speaker 5: A piece of it, yes. And it's a very important part because it's everything comes over Greenland. If the bad guys start shooting, it comes over Greenland. Speaker 1: So what he means by that is the satanic cabal is taking a piece of God's throne and putting it on their AI brain in Greenland to legitimize the antichrist. Speaker 6: Is that some sort of question? Speaker 1: How does that make you feel? Speaker 6: Get the out of our country. Speaker 10: So what are we talking about? An acquisition of Greenland? Are you going to pay for it? Speaker 5: I mean We're talking about it's really being negotiated now, the details of it, but essentially it's total access. It's there's no end. Speaker 0: We're making Iran great again, Venezuela, and now Greenland. How exciting. Speaker 1: Why can't we just fix this country? Speaker 0: Because Israel is our greatest ally. Speaker 1: Right, Shapiro Steen? Speaker 0: Well. I'm so sick of pretending we're Israel first. Speaker 10: I heard that. Just because you stupid goyim think you can expose our satanic agenda doesn't mean you won't fall for our next tie up. Dennis, shut this episode down or you're all fired. Speaker 0: Thanks, Shapiro Steen. Suck on this. Anyways, if you're still not following Jake GTV, you're either brainwashed or legally retarded. Speaker 15: I think I figured out where our data's going. Just let me hack into Homeland Security real quick, and we're in. Speaker 0: And time to get rid of their lice For antiseptic purposes, of course. Did you hear we gave Jake GTV a strike on his YouTube? Speaker 9: Oh, someone's hacked into our system. Another pizza cost. Speaker 1: Look who it is, my base fucking noticer. If you wanna stop wondering what's going on and know, check out my new book on jakegtv.com. Otherwise, just hit the like, comment, and subscribe, and I'll see you on the next one. Speaker 9: Did you hit him with a YouTube strike? Speaker 0: Sir, we did, but he's not stopping. Speaker 9: Shadow ban his accounts. We must shut him down before the red Speaker 7: heifer Speaker 0: is sacrificed.

What is your girlfriend's weight? I've never thought about it. Seriously? What size jacket does she wear? Tiny. I need a number to proceed. Okay, it's 85 pounds. Eighty-five? She's that small? What is her race? She got it. How old is she? She's grown. What does she do for work? She's a queen. Any unique features? A beautiful soul. So, authorities will say they’re looking for a tiny 85-pound grown black queen with a beautiful soul? Yes, exactly! And tell her that’s what I said for the poster. So, your girlfriend looks like this? Sorry, that's not right. You forgot her crown.

Speaker 0: Hey, glad to see you guys. You're patriots. Look at this guy, covered in blood. Are you okay? Need medical attention? I'm good, thanks. I got shot in the face with a plastic bullet. Can you leave the senate wing? We will. I'm making sure they respect the place. This is sacred. That's it.

When we go undercover, we cover antiques. Can you put that back in? Thank you. It feels better. You guys get sprayed. Here.

Welcome to Santa's Village! This year, we have two Santas to choose from. Which one would you like for a cherished photo? We want to see the white Santa, please. Why two Santas? It cuts the wait time in half. What should grandma do with the picture? We just remembered we're Jewish. Hi, we're here to meet Santa. You can choose between two equally qualified Santas. One Santa is busy, while the other is on a Zoom meeting. I’ll wait for the busy one. I’ll choose the Black Santa. Please don’t call me Blanta. It’s embarrassing that some can’t imagine Santa as anything but a straight white man. Well, you’re in luck! Here’s Santa number three. Hi! Ho ho ho!

Where are you from? I’m from DC. Oh, DC. I’m from Kansas. Welcome to Lancaster City! I already voted three weeks ago. Great! We’re trying to get Trump back in office. I see we’re on opposite sides. What do you think about Doug Emhoff sleeping with the nanny? I’m not going to comment on that. Have a great day! You too, enjoy Lancaster, and please don’t ruin it.

I call it the wheel. It rules! A bagel is better, though. This fork—I've got ten! We conduct business outside, like humans. This coffee is new...awful! I'm jittery. Sign here, Hancock! Gentlemen, have you lost your minds? People have the right to vote—even stupid ones! Edison, it stinks! You're wasting your time. You might as well put dishes in the shower. We're putting mail on the moon?! I can't even get tuna without celery! It's too small, it's full! I'm never wrong. George, I left my cane in there! That's an expensive cane!

Good evening, Colin. I crossed oceans of time to find you, and the traffic was crazy. It's great to see you, original Nosferatu. Wow, it's much smaller than I imagined. Not the studio—your penis! You keep it out all day? Oh my God, I visited sick kids at the hospital. What did you think of the new Nosferatu movie? I thought it sucked. Vampire humor sucks. Speaking of, I want to suck your neck. Please don’t touch me with your cold fingers. I really liked the movie, though I wish I had auditioned. You might be a little jealous of the new Nosferatu. Jealous? He looks nothing like me! You can barely do one sit-up and can't grow facial hair. Whatever, Colin. You can’t grow a mustache either. I need to suck some blood. Time to visit my favorite cast member, Sarah Sherman. Nosferatu, everyone. Good night!

Look at me. What's your name? Give me your ID. I gave you my ID upstairs. So? I showed you my ID. Let me see it again. He won't show me. You didn't see it either. I need to see it. I see it.

When we go undercover, we cover the antiques and the crap. Can you put that back in? Thank you. Do you feel better? Did you guys get sprayed? Here, take this.