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The speaker discusses the possibility of someone new entering the presidential race. They emphasize the need for adults in leadership and express their belief in the importance of the First Amendment. The speaker criticizes the fear and confusion in the country and suggests that they may consider running for president. They mention their relationship with the public and their disappointment with Netflix cutting ties with them. The conversation explores the blurred lines between truth, art, and performance. The speaker expresses their willingness to play any role the public wants and jokingly suggests the interviewer as a potential vice president. They mention some candidates they like but ultimately stress the need for someone unafraid to push the country in the right direction.

I was asked about Trump becoming speaker and I answered honestly. I think "speaker Trump" sounds great.

Kamala Harris is considered "retarded," and Trump is winning in the polls, so the speaker believes they are going to lose. The speaker then suggests running as a candidate again. The speaker tells Joe that he is more "retarded" than Kamala Harris and cannot run. The speaker ends the conversation, saying they will talk later.

Okay, here's the shortened transcript: There he is, James Comey. The fired FBI director, some call him a deep state hero. I'm so excited to see him, I don't know why others aren't as excited as I am. They're going to screen questions, I wonder if anyone will ask who killed Epstein? It's an honor to see the disgraced and fired FBI director in person. Wait, are you asking me to leave? But Comey can stay, right? We love James Comey. Sure, he didn't disrupt the library, but he disrupted the whole country. James Comey disrupted an entire country, a presidential election, and a presidential term. Still, my heart is fluttering that I got to see him.

The speaker doesn't understand why supporters are interested in the Jeffrey Epstein story, as Epstein is dead and "was never a big factor." The speaker believes the case is "pretty boring stuff" and doesn't understand why it continues to be discussed. The speaker suggests that "only pretty bad people, including fake news, wanna keep something like that going." They state that if there's credible information, "let them have it." The speaker then pivots to a question about AI.

The speaker is asked if they would ever consider running for president, to which they respond that they probably wouldn't because they love what they're currently doing. However, they express frustration with the state of the country and don't rule out the possibility completely. The speaker then encourages an average person to believe in themselves and work hard. They also mention that if they were to run for president, they believe they would win. Various people express doubt and disbelief about the speaker becoming president. The speaker emphasizes their desire to put America first and states that the future is uncertain but will be shaped by the people.

I wish I could have a third term, but I would be okay with having someone else speak for me while I stay in my basement. I apologize, this will be my last question. We need to address the Obama agenda of building back better urgently. If I could make an arrangement... if I could make an arrangement...

I used to think that if I had a third term, I would be okay with having someone else be the face of the presidency while I stayed in my basement, comfortable in my sweats, and just delivered the lines through an earpiece.

I deserve to get what? You're wearing MAGA shoes in West Hollywood. Yeah, I am. It’s illegal to film someone in California. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, you dumb ugly... You’re filming a stranger? You hope I get what I deserve? What do I deserve? At least have the guts to say it. You seem very normal. What about Biden showering with his daughter? He’s the president, not running. I’m just excited to make you famous. It’s illegal to film people here. I don’t care. Then mind your own business.

Bobby, it's your favorite president here. I forgive you for being a loser about the election results. It's not your fault you have a low IQ. Believe me, I won, and Kamala lost big time. You were wrong. You're a total loser, and your show sucks. You're going to get low ratings. It's a disgrace to go from raging gold to raging nobody. It's a horror. Kamala's probably getting drunk somewhere, the f***ing virgin. Can you believe this guy calling your favorite president a virgin? Look at that crowd; it's a disgrace. But don't worry, we already won big. Come here, paparazzi! I love this guy. Do you want to do a little dance?

This guy, who I used to call 1% Joe, ran multiple times and only got 1% of the votes. Now he's shot, with half of his head left, and he somehow ends up getting the nomination.

Okay, everyone. So there's James Comey, right? The fired FBI director, some call him a deep state hero. I'm incredibly excited to be here, though I'm not sure why everyone else isn't as excited as I am. They're screening questions here. Who killed Epstein? My heart is pounding! It's an honor to see the disgraced and fired FBI director, James Comey, in person. A library staff member asked me to leave, but Comey can stay, right? He didn't disrupt the library, but he disrupted the whole country, a presidential election, and a presidential term! Still, my heart is fluttering that I got to see James Comey.

Climate change is real. The destruction of hard drives, my husband's frequent trips to Epstein's Island, my loss in the 2016 election, and my husband's infidelity are all attributed to climate change. Even Jeffrey Epstein's death is blamed on climate change. It wasn't me, it was definitely climate change.

Kamala Harris is considered "retarded," and Trump is winning in the polls, so they are going to lose. The speaker considered running as a candidate. However, the speaker told Joe that he is more "retarded" than Kamala Harris, so he cannot run. The speaker told Joe to let it play out and that they would talk later. The speaker then commented on the women present.

I wish I had a brain to concentrate on my presidential powers and avoid being indicted. I could blame the Russians for my son's addiction and crimes. Inflation is rising, and we weaponized the FBI. I admit to stealing the last election and being a loser. I am a perverted weirdo who takes showers with my daughter. If only I had a brain.

Speaker 0 mentions feeling like a dog catcher and going to formation for president twice. Speaker 1 interrupts, wanting to discuss Jeffrey Epstein, but Speaker 0 refuses, saying they are walking and feeling sad about it.

Bobby, it's your favorite president here. I forgive you for being a loser about the election; it's not your fault you have a low IQ. Believe me, I won, Kamala lost big time. You're wrong, and you're a total loser. Your show sucks and will get low ratings. You've gone from raging bull to nobody, a disgrace. It's a horror. Kamala's probably drunk somewhere. Can you believe that guy called me the president of Virgin? Look at that crowd. It's a disgrace, but we won big, okay? Come here, paparazzi! I love this guy. Want to do a little dance? Come here.

I wish I could have a third term. I used to think that if I could have someone else be the face of the presidency, while I stayed in my basement in comfortable clothes, I would be okay with that. They would wear an earpiece and I would just deliver the lines.

The speaker asserts that sometimes you have to be the villain and embrace a villain arc. They state, “Epstein's my boy, dude,” and loudly declare, “Jeffrey Epstein was cool as fuck,” adding, “There I said it. What are you gonna do? Go ahead. Cancel me.” They reiterate their willingness to be unpopular, noting they’ve been unpopular before, and conclude, “I like it better.”

The speaker references Brock Pierce, described as an Epstein client and alleged child abuser and as a cofounder of Tethr, and asks, “Who is friends with Epstein client and alleged child abuser, Tethr cofounder Brock Pierce.” They then say, “I don't know shit about Brock's history, and I've never met him. I don't know if he's an Epstein client. I don't know anything about these allegations, and I don't really care at this point because it doesn't affect my life at all.”

So, we've got breaking news: Trump's been arrested for *not* being on Epstein's client list, while Bill Clinton wins for most trips to the island. I want to thank my wife and Monica. Jeffrey, this one's for you! Welcome to client list anonymous. My name is Tom Hanks, and I'm on the list. It’s been three weeks, but no one will ever know. I'm Bill, and it's been two days. I was lonely watching Cuties, and boom, a million-dollar hush money payment. Epstein Island? They got my associate, so case closed! I never met Jeffrey, no sexual relations happened on Epstein Island. Don't worry, nobody will ever know. That’s Jeffrey's client list. Trump isn't on it! You'll fry for this. I didn't even know there were clients.

Bill Clinton is a nice guy, but he is facing issues related to the well-known island associated with Jeffrey Epstein.

The speaker joked about wanting a third term, suggesting an arrangement with a stand-in who wears an earpiece. The speaker would then deliver the lines from their basement while the stand-in handles the talking and ceremony. The speaker then stated they would take one last question, after which they would be in trouble. They mentioned needing to address the full Obama agenda of building back better. The speaker repeated the idea of making an arrangement.

If you're feeling down about Kamala Harris not winning the election, I'm actually relieved she didn't, especially since this is her hometown. Is Mr. Smith there? No, who's there? What have you been doing living here? I don't live here; it's too busy.

I think we should get the homicide out of the White House and get a fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers. Clinton murdered a guy. That's going a little too far. This is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear that? Maybe George or Bill Clinton would be your hero. His career is over after this. Anyway, who cares? We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased, and I thought it was untrue about it.