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We're going higher with MAGA. Fired up and moving up. Mega.

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Meek Mill was allegedly approached in a club by a group of 50 people who demanded $50,000. He called Rick Ross, who apparently provided the money. The speaker claims this incident led to Meek Mill becoming cool with Nipsey Hussle, as a way to gain protection and prevent future demands. The speaker suggests that if Ross couldn't afford the $50,000, Meek would have been taken outside and held. The speaker also claims that Gilly Da Kid and his son were stripped down by the same group, allegedly orchestrated by Big U. The speaker implies that going to LA and associating with Big U could lead to being robbed.

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Speaker 0 and Speaker 1 discuss their plans for the next 48 hours. Speaker 1 is excited to start driving next year and mentions having a permit. Speaker 0 talks about Justin and a movie called "48 hours" that they are enjoying. Speaker 1 mentions being given custody of someone and being signed to Usher. Speaker 0 mentions having legal guardianship of Usher in the past. They both express excitement about the next 48 hours and mention going crazy and getting girls.

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Speaker 0 says: “Free little Justin fussing you. He been trying to knock you off. He was scared. He said, look, money tried to take my car.” They warn that you might think you got away, but you ain’t getting far. “I rode a wooden pole to four jets to see how I feel.” “You want to smoke, Jay, let me know you know I’m quick to drill. Slam the shit out there. Slam.”

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Speaker 0 asks if they can go out and expresses concern about getting arrested or shot.

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First one I saw. So my thought is there's not much going on here. So maybe they're practicing. Come on.

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They're fresh. Runner. Runner. Runner. Runner. Runner. Got the fuck. We just got the fuck. I don't need now. Who this man, y'all? Who this man? Who He put this man in handcuffs with no reason. Hey. Don't push him. Y'all Don't push them. He had no reason to put this man in handcuffs.

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Speaker 0 describes a youth with experiences around fashion, travel, and media attention: “Junk kids in Tokyo, fashion shoots in Milan, and me with phone books so that I wouldn't bruise,” and expresses exhaustion with privileged celebrations and indulgences, including “rich kids bar mitzvahs or pigs leftovers with Saudi princess,” a reference to West and Morse code, and a past incident at the VMAs where they were sprayed with a hose for three days. They also say that when their sails drop off, they’ll be taken to a resort and “let rich businessmen hunt me down for sport.” Speaker 1 interjects to introduce themselves, saying, “Hold up. I’m just coming in on the song to check on what y’all talking about,” and adds, “Don’t think of me as a record exec, but I’m Bubba, Big Yell, and Powell. This kid's a real prankster.”

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Free Billie Eilish, no more sex slaves, no more Ultra. People are chanting for her. A man sits on a building, calling for Free Billie Eilish.

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Brian is overdosing and trying to relax, but someone reminds him that he has a show to do.

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The speaker believes that something is happening that is not just about making money and was not a mistake. The speaker feels that someone is coming after them.

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A businesswoman states that working for Diddy for six years trained her to be perfect. Another speaker expresses their love for Diddy, calling him a good friend. When asked if Diddy is a good guy, the businesswoman declines to answer. The other speaker insists that Diddy is a good guy and defends him.

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Speaker 0 claims that upon arrival, girls scream, John Kits can't take it, and rich kids have access to spas or sleepovers with Saudi Princesses. They mention bling tests, OS, and Morse code. They claim to have been sprayed with a hose for 3 days at the VMAs. They state that when they are no longer useful, they will be hunted for sport by rich businessmen at a resort. Speaker 1, identifying as Boba, Figio, and Powell, suggests the previous statements are a practical joke.

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The speaker states that someone is spending 48 hours with Diddy and a friend, having a great time doing undisclosed activities that are a "15 year old's dream." The speaker implies they are responsible for the individual during this time. The speaker claims to have had legal guardianship of Usher when he released his first album, but clarifies they do not have legal guardianship of the person currently with Diddy, only temporary custody for the next 48 hours. The speaker concludes by saying they plan to "go full crazy."

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The speaker lived with Sean "Puffy" Combs in New York City for a year as part of "Puffy Flavor Camp," an idea from LA Reid. In the 90s, Puffy's place was filled with women and partying. The speaker, around 13 or 14 at the time, witnessed "curious things" but didn't fully understand them. Biggie Smalls, Lil Kim, Craig Mack, Faith Evans, Joe Cees, and Mary J. Blige were around. The speaker had per diem and could stay up later than the others. When asked if, as a dad, he would send his kid to "Puffy Camp," he responded, "Hell no."

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Shout out to Bass Records. Hunter got high and messed things up. He's smart but made bad choices. He has a lot of LLCs and money. Cops raided his house, took his money, and ate his pound cake. Hunter's in trouble.

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When you turn 16, you can have this. And when you turn 18, you'll get a mansion. You smell great. How old are you? What music do you listen to? I feel violated. Can you say it again? You have nice lips. Can you give me the sex talk? Why are you involving me in this? It's a 15-year-old's dream. I have temporary custody of Usher for the next 48 hours. We're going crazy.

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It's 4 AM, and we feel powerful. We're celebrating while our enemies are preoccupied with fighting among themselves.

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The speaker is having a conversation with someone named Dave. They are discussing whether or not they should go out somewhere and if they will get arrested or shot if they do. They mention that there are about a dozen people involved. They also ask if they can go up somewhere, but it is unclear if they are allowed. The speaker reiterates that they don't want to get arrested or shot.

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The speaker discusses Usher's past relationship with P. Diddy, in light of recent Homeland Security raids connected to a human trafficking operation. P. Diddy became Usher's legal guardian when Usher was 13, to help his career as his voice changed. Usher lived with P. Diddy in New York City for a year, which he described as a "wild" experience with "curious things taking place" that he didn't fully understand. Biggie Smalls, Lil Kim, and Mary J. Blige were around. He had per diem and stayed up later than everyone. Usher said he would not send his own kids to "Puffy Camp." P. Diddy stated he and Usher were close like brothers and used to "wrestle over frosted flakes." He also joked about adopting Justin Bieber. He admitted to having legal guardianship of Usher when he did his first album and said they were going "full crazy" for the next 48 hours.

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Speaker 0 is excited about going to a club in outer space and partying. They use phrases like "galaxy's at the club" and "intergalactic" to express their enthusiasm. They also mention spraining an ankle, possibly referring to dancing. Speaker 0 appreciates the attention they are getting from others and describes it as making them blush. They use the word "fire" to express their approval. Lastly, they mention someone named Jake and compliment his sweet melons.

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P Diddy settled a lawsuit filed by Cassie, who accused him of rape, drugging, sex trafficking, and torture. The abuse started when she was a teenager. P Diddy, who was Usher's legal guardian, spent 48 hours with Justin Bieber when he turned 15. The details of their time together are undisclosed, but it had a lasting impact on Bieber. The video then transitions to a conversation between two individuals discussing their plans for the next 48 hours, which includes going out and meeting girls. The video ends with a mention of Monarch programming, a form of mind control used by various organizations.

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A young man never thought he'd see people standing live to see the boy king. The speaker then asks, "How'd you get so funky? Did you do the monkey?"

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I want to talk about anime. I'm connected and not afraid of being locked up. My friends are in denial about their life sentences in jail. My mugshot is famous and worth a lot. Some merchant in Philly gave me a billion dollars. I have support from rappers who ride with me. I'm not the target, but I won't let them get to you. I'm not starting over, I don't need to prove myself. Even if I go to prison, I won't be treated like the Clintons. I'll be eating steak with the secret service. Shout out to my MAGA supporters. I'll stop the new world order and secure the border.

This Past Weekend

Bert Kreischer | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #565
Guests: Bert Kreischer
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Theo Von announced new tour dates in Chicago, Fort Wayne, and Miami, with tickets at theo.com. Bert Kreischer, host of Bertcast and Two Bears, One Cave, promotes his Netflix special Lucky premiering March 18. The discussion covers family life, therapy, and the role of content creation. They share a therapy moment: slowing down, letting others do their own thing, and managing FOMO. Bert describes couples therapy with Leanne, noting that a year off from standup helped him reassess goals. He explains how he rewrote material, found new energy, and filmed Lucky after scrapping earlier jokes. Theo and Bert reflect on oversharing family moments online and the impact on Isa and Georgia. They discuss therapy’s lessons about listening, slowing down, and avoiding constant busyness. The conversation moves to a self-funded movie project with David Spade, called The Machine. They describe assembling a cast—Nate Diaz, Tim Dylan, Bobby Lee, and others—and financing it themselves. Kreischer explains that Hollywood gatekeepers resisted, so they chose independence to preserve creative control. He recounts turning down a part in The Tomorrow War to stay true to his vision. The discussion celebrates collaboration with friends and the satisfaction of self-funding a project. They reminisce about the outrageous fraternity pilot with raucous, boundary-pushing stunts and chaotic energy. Although they acknowledge the footage would be handled differently today, the memories highlight tight friendships. They also discuss the idea of a steroid Olympics and a ‘Stereotype Games’ show exploring provocative humor. They riff on possible formats, from dating-style risk to rating contestants and forcing creative outcomes. The talk turns to Jelly Roll’s dramatic weight loss, his training, and their shared 5K plans. They describe last year’s run, the charitable coverage, and Jelly Roll’s upcoming Tampa event. Theo explains his ongoing health journey, including a broken toe and recent fitness routines. Hair loss concerns, TRT experiences, and hair transplants surface in a candid moment. They touch on their film’s cast, from Nate Diaz to Tim Dylan and Bobby Lee, and the thrill of collaboration. The episode ends with gratitude for friends, family, and the opportunity to do what they love. Theo reflects on luck, perspective, and the joy of shared success, promising more adventures with Bert and others. Upcoming highlights include March 18 Netflix drop, a Las Vegas Resorts World weekend, and a Tampa 5K. They close with appreciation for friendship and the sense that luck is a choice you cultivate. He thanks his audience for supporting him through highs and lows, and notes that his Netflix special Lucky premieres March 18 and marks a personal and professional milestone. With plans to perform in Vegas, Tampa, and beyond, he expresses gratitude for loyal friends like Bert.
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