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The speaker addresses someone off-camera, telling them they are not welcome and should go back to Musgrove Hill. They express their intelligence and assert that the person cannot challenge them. The speaker clarifies that they are not responding to Elliot, but to the person in front of them. They end by wishing the person a great day and hoping they enjoy their coffee.

The speaker visits Phil Hartman at his modest Hollywood home, where Hartman displays his Emmy and a presidential memento. Hartman's life reflects his comedic persona: he enjoys surfing, flying planes, playing guitar, and driving fast cars. At the "News Radio" studio, Hartman prepares for a new episode, meticulously marking his script with parallel lines and recyclable tabs for each scene. He expresses his love for the show's writing and cast. The speaker attempts to learn Hartman's lines, seeking help from Dave Foley. Hartman and Maura Turner rehearse a scene. The speaker then tries to perform Hartman's role, but struggles and ultimately steps aside, gaining a greater appreciation for Hartman's talent and experience.

Thank you! It feels a bit strange to be back here hosting, especially since I used to do the weekend update. A year and a half ago, I had a disagreement with NBC and was fired for not being funny. Normally, that would lead to a lawsuit, but since it’s a comedy show, they had the upper hand. Now, just a year and a half later, they’ve invited me back to host. I wondered how I went from being deemed not funny to hosting. It hit me that I haven’t gotten funnier; the show has just gotten worse. So, to recap: I'm still not funny, but the show is even worse. We have a bad show for you tonight with Doctor Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Eminem.

Beyonce hosts a Juneteenth party at the White House with her uncle Chester. Steve Urkel crashes to give the president "racial street cred." Robert De Niro awkwardly dances with Kamala Harris. The party is bizarre, questioning the leadership of the country. Joe Biden avoids any mishaps.

Speaker 0 expresses concern about having a time bomb inside them and hopes it's not true. They suggest meeting again in three years to see how things are going. The speaker believes it's likely that they have a time bomb. The video then transitions to the news of CNN journalist Drew Griffin's passing. It is revealed that Griffin died suddenly in December after a long battle with cancer. CNN states that Griffin had kept his illness private and continued working until his last day.

Speaker 0 greets Mega and asks, 'Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt?' The speaker notes, 'The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.'

Speaker 0 holds sealed envelopes, the contents unknown to anyone but him. Speaker 1 attempts to divine the answers without seeing the questions. The answers are: A condor, a bald eagle, and a snail darter. Striking air traffic controllers. Blood sugar. Cannonball run. An apple a day. A wed wobe. Cis boom bah. V eight. Dopey. Speaker 1 asks: Name three things less endangered than Tip O'Neil. What do the people waiting at the airport feel like doing? What are the three qualifications to be a Major League Baseball player? What should a vampire cut down on when he's on a diet? What do you call a drink made with gunpowder and tequila? What's a minimum wage for a fruit fly? What does Barbara Walters wear over her wed pajamas? Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes? What kind of social disease can you get from an octopus? At the present time, who's running the tower at LA Airport? Speaker 1 concludes by saying, "How does William Buckley say, I think I'm going to barf?"

Just because I'm fat, that doesn't invalidate the things that I say. "She died." The statement is followed by a provocative prompt: "You ready to get super sized?" "She died too." The sequence continues with a shift in tone: "Today, I've got the big Fruit Loops." "He's dead." The closer invites listeners: "Join me on my fat positive radio show, which didn't last long because she died."

President Biden is mentioned multiple times in the video. President Obama recently announced that President Biden would be the front person for the administration. The speaker expresses a desire to have a stand-in who would deliver the lines while they stay in their basement. They mention the idea of someone else doing all the talking and ceremony.

The speaker engages in a disrespectful conversation with Bob Iger, using offensive language and insults. They request to call Bob Iger for assistance in a game show, but it turns out they don't actually need help and confidently state they will win the prize. The speaker then expresses their opinion about people who prioritize appearance over morality.

A skinny kid with a funny name is on the debate stage, and people are wondering who he is and why he's there.

Speaker 0 mentions feeling like a dog catcher and going to formation for president twice. Speaker 1 interrupts, wanting to discuss Jeffrey Epstein, but Speaker 0 refuses, saying they are walking and feeling sad about it.

Speaker 0: Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt? The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.

In the video, the speaker points out the Capitol Police comedians, Daryl, Wesley, and Thomas. Thomas tried to trick everyone by dressing up as one of the viewers, and Daryl had to remove the zip ties he had put on himself. They are known for their playful pranks.

I just finished a show, and you won't believe the room they put me in. It's like Biden's Oval Office in here! I think I've finally figured out why I'm in this room. Let me show you. See that screen right there? It's a teleprompter right in front of my face. All I can say is, the last administration was something else.

Speaker 0 wishes they had a stand-in to deliver speeches while they stay in their basement. Speaker 1 apologizes and says they have to address the full Obama agenda urgently. Speaker 0 repeats their desire for a stand-in arrangement.

The speaker engages in a disrespectful and offensive conversation, expressing derogatory remarks towards Bob Iger and Disney Plus. They request to phone a friend, specifically Bob Iger, but it is unclear if this actually happens. The speaker then interrupts and insults Bob Iger, claiming they don't need his help and will win the $1,000,000. The conversation ends abruptly with a reference to a joke and a song lyric.

Switch the initial screen. It just started. Hold on. If you're seeing this, I'm probably dead. Hey. Good to see you, man. Hey. Who's got the Oh, I was the Deny, man. Deny, man. Who's got

The speaker introduces a radio show, asserting that their weight should not invalidate their statements. The show is described as "fat positive." The speaker then states, "She died," followed by "She died too," and "He's dead," in reference to unnamed individuals. The radio show "didn't last long because she died." The speaker also mentions having "the big Fruit Loops."

Jimmy is asked to cover the speaker while they take a bathroom break. The speaker reassures Jimmy that everything is under control and they will be back soon.

Speaker 0: Hey, glad to see you all. You guys are patriots. Look at this guy, covered in blood. Sir, do you need medical attention? I'm good, thank you. Don, I got shot in the face with a plastic bullet. Can you guys leave the senate wing? We will. I've been disrespecting the plugs. Just wanted to let you know.

Hey, Maga. How bad does it hurt? The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.

The speaker recalls "the bunny with Joe Biden" and "when the bunny took Joe Biden out." The speaker clarifies the bunny will not take Trump out. The speaker repeats "when the bunny saved Joe Biden," calling it a "beautiful moment." The speaker states the bunny will not save them, saying "I got a better bunny."

The speaker, James O'Keefe, is approached by someone who takes a picture of him while he is getting ice cream. James questions why the person would take another picture of him when his picture is already all over the internet. The person asks for James' name, to which he responds, "James." The person then says, "That's what I thought," and leaves the ice cream place. James is left wondering why the person would do that.

The speaker is participating in a game show called "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and is asked what they would say to Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney. They respond with offensive remarks and express their dislike for Disney Plus. They request to use a lifeline and call Bob Iger. The host contacts Bob Iger, who is surprised to hear from them. The speaker informs Bob that they don't actually need his help and confidently states that they will win the $1,000,000 prize. The transcript abruptly ends.