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Glasses. No expression. At my head, I wanna drown my sorrow. No tomorrow. I find it kinda funny.

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She wanted blue velvet. The night was soft, like satin, and the light came from the stars. She wore it like velvet, and I felt warmer than May beside her.

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She insulted me for sitting down, accusing me of coming to celebrate. I want someone else to handle this. No, I will. You don't have the money. I'll find someone. You act superior, but flaunt money. That doesn't suit me. Ma'am, we're waiting on you. You're buying drinks. Translation: She insulted me for sitting down, accusing me of coming to celebrate. I want someone else to handle this. No, I will. You don't have the money. I'll find someone. You act superior, but flaunt money. That doesn't suit me. Ma'am, we're waiting on you. You're buying drinks.

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Castles made of sand burn and fall into the sea. A woman in a wheelchair smiles as she steps onto the shore. She won't be heard anymore.

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She dressed up in her best clothes, adding glitter and high heels. She is running after someone else's man. She is the kind of girl you tell.

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I need gas and grand master. You crying more? Maybe go back down to the shop and get you a wham burger or some french fries. How about a wine.

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She is experiencing life.

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I hope you find happiness in the end, my friend. No, leave her alone. She's innocent. I'm the one you're after. It's me you want.

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You can't always get what you want.

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People are getting out for free beer, and someone is unsure what to do.

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A man pursues a girl, but ultimately, she catches him. He chases her, but she ends up reeling him in. Everything unfolds as she anticipated, leaving a sense of uncertainty.

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As a woman, there's a balance to be struck between being tough and being a bitch.

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The speaker describes observing someone who appeared to be negotiating with a deaf prostitute. The speaker claims this person gestured, "I want some of this, then you do some of this, and I'll do some of that back to you, and then we'll do this, and then I'll pay you, and then we'll do it again." The speaker says the woman kept refusing, suggesting alternative arrangements like, "You do this one first, then we do this one, then we give a little back and forth."

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She's going on her first date and showing what she's wearing. The guy she's meeting is a big fan of "strangers," so she got him gifts: Jonathan, Matt, Henry, and Dustin. If the date doesn't work out, she'll keep them. She also won an iPad so he can FaceTime her, but she'll also be keeping this if the date doesn't go well. She's now ready to go on the date and will provide an update later.

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The speaker briefly mentions dense coffee and a strong first impression. They mention going somewhere far and then mention sugar.

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As a woman, there's a balance to be struck between being tough and being a bitch.

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If you choose that demented man, I’ll take drastic action. How did we end up here? I’m done. It seems like you’re struggling with my victory, which is amusing. I’m feeling energized, almost like I’m buzzing from excitement. I’ve been enjoying drinks that never seem to satisfy; it’s a bottomless experience. The atmosphere is filled with entitlement and negativity, but I find it delicious. It’s one of my favorite indulgences, and I’m ready to embrace it. Cheers to the moments that keep me going!

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Getting ready to go out on a Friday night, feeling good. Pregaming with an ice cold Budweiser. Happy Friday!

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It's okay, Shirley. Just let her relax. We'll take our time.

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I'm just enjoying a little red wine; it’s not a big deal. I don’t plan on making this a nightly habit. I’ve been good, so I think I deserve this. It feels justified in my mind, even if it seems like a twisted reality. There’s a sense of hopelessness and insanity in this situation, but I’m just trying to cope.

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I impress on the steppers and don't need smoke. Crushing this streak, pushing a big body, smoking packs on packs, falling asleep.

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I can't escape, they keep pulling me back in.

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A man pursues a girl until she captures his heart, unsure until she decides for him. The outcome is just as she expected. Don't rush while rejecting him.

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The speaker recalls meeting her future husband. She and other girls were standing around when a group of football players approached. One of the players told her to get off a light post, warning she might get shocked. She says she likely flirted with him, despite being trained not to. She became interested in him and learned his name, initially thinking it was Edgar. He would watch her practice piano. They were introduced within a week. The speaker says he claimed to love classical music, likely to attract her, but she was already attracted to him. She recalls him telling her that she was wearing too much.

This Past Weekend

Sadie Hawkins | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #243
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Theo Von opens with a shift in mindset: life is happening for you, not to you, a line that eases the feeling of wind against him and reorients his day. He recalls autumn memories from a small town—Sadie Hawkins dances, the thrill of the matching shirts, acne and nervous crushes, and the way a kid’s first love could make him sweat like a waterfall. He tells of DJ John, the so‑called Christopher Columbus of sound, who rode a horse trailer into town with a towering speaker and turned funerals, weddings, and dances into showtime. He laments the fall air and moving leaves, the sense of magic that vanished in Los Angeles’ climate, a Groundhog Day rhythm he both jokes about and misses. He shares recent life details: yoga, a fever, and body imagery as he sweats and laughs through illness, then pivots to a Manscaped ad and a reminder that holidays are coming. A Patreon question about hacky jokes yields a definition: hacky = jokes you’ve heard a lot; authenticity comes from true, personal sensibilities. He reflects on early routines, Brad Pitt stories, and how jokes evolve with time. Thanksgiving plans bring him back to New Orleans and sweet potatoes, plus a memory of a neighborhood cat, Quagmire, and a wild childhood scene with sharp claws and odd rituals, all treated in his characteristic, rambunctious warmth. He notes Popeyes’ Maryland incident and critiques media hype, echoing Duncan Trussell’s garden metaphor about tending to what you can control. Nick Davis recounts the Logan Paul vs. KSI fight in a deadened arena, with a crowd split between boos and chants and a technically improving Logan, despite the split decision. The LSU victory and a wood mill worker’s burnout become threads for callers’ stories, from gypsies to quick questions about addiction and tough love. The show closes with empathy for those battling heavy issues and a reminder to act with confidence rather than stay stuck: you’re right where you need to be today, and you can still aim higher.
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