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Maybe I'm gay, and maybe my wife is a man, but it doesn't matter. Just go out and vote for Kamala. We've already dealt with Joe, so let's focus on winning this thing. We'll figure everything else out later.

I did great at the debate the other night. The other guy is quitting, so we have Kamala now. She's better. Imagine him dealing with Putin and the Chinese president. He's probably quitting. Keep knocking them out. Thank you.

Kamala Harris has a law degree but failed the bar exam. She served in the California senate without passing any legislation. As vice president, she has a low approval rating. Donald Trump, a successful businessman, has created jobs and has a higher approval rating. The speaker suggests choosing Trump to run a company over Kamala based on their track records.

Here I come! Who's number one on the invitation list? Leonardo DiCaprio! That's why I'm voting for Kamala Harris. Got it? Oh, wow!

Kamala Harris announces her rebranding, acknowledging that Americans see her as unlikable, inauthentic, and prone to saying "crazy shit." She references past criticisms, including her role as border czar. Despite perceived shortcomings as Vice President, Harris emphasizes her ambition and hints at extreme measures she would take for the country. She then implies that voters who support her are "cringe." The message concludes with an endorsement of Trump 2024 and the slogan "Let's make America great again," attributed to Professor Sagun Dznotz.

I watched all of Kamala Harris' speeches in the last 2 weeks and she's been fantastic. I thought she was great 4 years ago too. I hope JD Vance challenges her to a debate because she would outshine him. I'll stay out of what the Democrats decide for the top of the ticket.

I will campaign with Kamala and work on passing legislation as a sitting president. We must protect democracy because Trump is still a danger to the community and the nation.

I am Kamala Harris, a diverse candidate for president. I learned from Joe Biden how to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and talk about the passage of time. My international politics knowledge is shocking. Remember, voting is about the future, not the past. If you thought the last 4 years were bad, just wait. Thank you.

The speaker believes Kamala Harris will claim to understand Americans' suffering while disavowing responsibility, despite holding power for the last four years. The speaker questions why Harris would withhold her solutions for five months until elected. While the Democratic convention will be well-scripted, the real work of winning the election will begin afterward. The messaging war will intensify, and Trump's team will portray Harris as more radical and less likable than Biden, emphasizing this daily.

I wish I could talk to someone like me—a black South Asian woman running for president from the Bay Area. It's great to see you, Kamala. Remember, you can open doors in ways your opponent can't. The American people want to end the chaos and enjoy a more relaxed atmosphere, maybe even with a fun twist on popular culture. We share a belief in the promise of America. Let's bring it in for a moment. I’m voting for us! Are you registered in Pennsylvania? Unfortunately, no. It was worth a try. And live from New York is Stephanie Jones.

Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate, claims she was selected as a "diversity hire" due to being both a woman and a person of color. She states Joe Biden taught her to hide incompetence by discussing insignificant things as if they're significant. Harris says she tries to sound Black, pretends to celebrate Kwanzaa, and does a Barack Obama impression in her speeches. She claims her work addressing the root causes of the border crisis involved an alliance with the Republic of North Korea, which she describes as strong and enduring. Harris urges voters to see what can be "unburdened by what has been," referring to Joe Biden.

I am Kamala Harris, a diverse candidate for president. I learned from Joe Biden to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and praise North Korea. Remember, voting means moving on from Biden. The country will change more if I win. Thank you.

Kamala covered up Joe's mental decline and took charge, resulting in a border crisis, inflation, and the demise of the American dream. They are aware of Kamala's failed record. This message is sponsored by Make America Great Again Inc.

Kamala Harris is considered "retarded," and Trump is winning in the polls, so they are going to lose. The speaker considered running as a candidate. However, the speaker told Joe that he is more "retarded" than Kamala Harris, so he cannot run. The speaker told Joe to let it play out and that they would talk later. The speaker then commented on the women present.

Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate, claims she was selected as a "diversity hire" due to being a woman and a person of color. She says Joe Biden taught her to hide incompetence by discussing insignificant things as if they're significant, and that she tries to sound Black, pretending to celebrate Kwanzaa and doing a Barack Obama impression. She states, "I know Donald Trump's tight." Harris suggests her work addressing the root causes of the border crisis was catastrophic, and that there is an alliance with the Republic of North Korea that is strong and enduring. She urges voters to see what can be unburdened by what has been, referring to Joe Biden, and implies the country's state will worsen.

Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate, claims she was selected as a "diversity hire" due to being both a woman and a person of color. She states Joe Biden taught her to hide her incompetence by discussing insignificant things as if they're significant. Harris says she tries to sound Black, pretends to celebrate Kwanzaa, and does a Barack Obama impression in her speeches. She claims her work addressing the root causes of the border crisis involved an alliance with the Republic of North Korea, which she describes as strong and enduring. She urges voters to see what can be unburdened by what has been, referring to Joe Biden's presidency.

I am Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate chosen for diversity. I learned from Joe Biden to hide incompetence. I talk about insignificant things as significant, like the passage of time. I try to sound black and mimic Obama. Despite failures, I tout a strong relationship with North Korea. Remember, voting unburdens us from the past, meaning Biden. If you think things are bad now, just wait. Thank you.

I'm a bit nervous, but this moment is important to me. I need patience here. How's everyone doing tonight? Are we ready to make history and change the next eight years? Let's ensure Kamala Harris is in office for eight years. Thank you.

I'm going to discuss Governor Tim Walz and the challenges he faces. He has to convince people that Kamala Harris can fix the problems she has contributed to over the past three and a half years, like the southern border crisis and the affordability crisis caused by her policies. Despite her claims of being a candidate for change, she hasn't provided concrete solutions or acknowledged her mistakes. In interviews, she struggles to articulate her plans and often deflects questions. The American people are aware of her failures. Together, we will support Donald Trump in restoring American prosperity, securing our borders, and protecting our rights. Trump sacrificed his comfortable life to fight for the country, and he remains ready to lead us to greatness again. Thank you all for your support.

Kamala has been comparing her political opponents to notorious mass murderers. During a recent campaign call, Joe Biden referred to supporters as "garbage," revealing his true feelings. In response, it's clear that my supporters are of much higher quality than Biden or Kamala. You can't lead America without loving American values, and you can't be president if you harbor hatred for the American people. There’s a significant amount of disdain coming from them. Kamala Harris is unfit to be president of the United States.

I'm Seth Dillon, CEO of the Babylon Bee. Today, we officially endorse Kamala Harris for president. She quickly rose to prominence due to her intellect, becoming the first person to win a primary without a single vote. As a woman of color, she embodies inclusivity and has a comforting presence, symbolized by her embrace of Drew Barrymore. Her popularity is evident, with millions crossing borders to support her. Most importantly, she is not Donald Trump. Kamala reminds us to focus on the future and understands the significance of time. As America faces threats to democracy, we proudly stand with Kamala Harris, joining other influential voices in this endorsement.

I've been voting for 64 years and usually keep it to myself. However, many former Trump administration members are warning against repeating past mistakes, and we should listen. These are influential figures who are now considering voting for someone without an "R" next to their name because they recognize the importance of this moment. Kamala Harris respects differing opinions and encourages debate on policies. In contrast, the other candidate demands loyalty and seeks revenge. I’m Harrison Ford, and I have one vote like everyone else. I choose to vote for Kamala Harris to help us move forward.

Congratulations to the DNC on losing another election to Donald Trump. You replaced me with a candidate who lacks appeal. They claimed I was too old and slow, but here's a joke: what do Willie Brown and the 2024 election have in common? Kamala Harris moved both of them. Hillary lost to Trump, and now it’s Kamala's turn. This man has beaten more women than Doug Emhoff. Anyway, congrats on losing to Trump again. I hope he locks you all up this time.

Harris is the potential 1st woman, Black woman, and Asian president, but lacks popularity. Despite winning few delegates in the 2020 primaries, she has been quiet as VP. Her unpopularity is unexplained, even by MAGA supporters. She is intelligent and accomplished, but her handling of the border is criticized. Life can be unfair.

I am Kamala Harris, a Democratic presidential candidate. I am grateful to Joe Biden for highlighting his weaknesses during the debate. I bring diversity as a woman and person of color. I learned from Joe to hide incompetence and make insignificant things seem important. I try to sound black and emulate Barack Obama. Despite past mistakes, I emphasize moving forward without Biden. The country will change if I am elected. Thank you.