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Hello, I'm here to discuss the new names of places around the globe, courtesy of Trump. The United States is now America Classic, and what used to be Canada is now Gay North Dakota. The Atlantic Ocean? That's the Ocean Of America now. Greenland is now Marjorie Taylor Greenland, and Alaska has been rebranded as McKinley's Happy Funland. We have two Oceans of America now, and Africa is being called Little Africa, due to a typo. Mexico is now America's pants, and the Middle East is the New Middle East. Africa is now Dark MAGA. Iceland is now Muskeland, and the North Pole? America's Santa's Workshop. Gaza is Mar-A-Lago East, and Russia is Big Loser Country, America Beat To The Moon, now a U.S. state. China is the Hundred Acre Wood, and Australia is Upside Down America. With all of Earth renamed as America, we're now calling it America Prime, and the Moon and Mars are now America's.

We will save over a trillion dollars by withdrawing from the Paris Climate Treaty.

A representative is on their way to vote on a bill to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, calling it a waste of time. The representative believes House Republicans are pushing this name change for two reasons: to support the president and to distract from other issues. They would rather focus on the Gulf of Mexico name change than address House Republicans' attempts to repeal healthcare for millions of Americans or Donald Trump's tariff policies allegedly harming the economy. The representative questions the priorities of Congress, suggesting that renaming the Gulf of Mexico is inappropriate given the current economic climate.

We're about to rename the Gulf Of Mexico to the Gulf Of America. This change will honor a distinguished president by restoring their name to this important body of water.

The Gulf of Mexico will be renamed the Gulf of America to restore the name of a great president.

I was out on the Gulf with my buddy Johnny, just riding wave runners after church on a sunny Sunday. It was a real Americana, 4th of July type of moment, especially with Trump's stance against Mexico. Suddenly, it hit me – instead of the Gulf of Mexico, why not the Gulf of America? I posted a selfie with the idea, tweeting that the name would be official by 2025. The idea gained traction, retweeted by prominent figures, and picked up on Capitol Hill and in the White House. January 9th, Trump mentioned it at Mar-a-Lago. January 20th, he included it in his inaugural address and made it a Day One executive order. Before the Super Bowl, he even said it was bigger than the Super Bowl.

I want him to return to the state department, also known as the deep state department.

China did not build, operate, or intend to weaponize the Panama Canal. The speaker intends to reclaim the Panama Canal from Chinese influence. This reclamation will be undertaken with capable allies and partners.

It's been an incredible first month. We've achieved transformative action, restoring our nation in numerous ways. We ended DEI across the federal government, terminated related federal workers, and restored merit-based policies. We've ensured fair enforcement of civil rights laws and cracked down on illegal racial discrimination. We've saved women's sports by prohibiting men's participation, ended radical gender ideology in the federal government, and reaffirmed the biological basis of sex. The military is now solely focused on readiness. We've launched a historic cost-cutting effort, uncovering corruption and saving billions. We've renamed the Gulf Of Mexico to the Gulf Of America and Mount Denali to Mount McKinley to restore patriotism. We've ended weaponization of the federal government and federal censorship, protecting free speech. The death penalty is back for heinous crimes, restoring law and order.

I'm directing the army to rename Fort Liberty, North Carolina, back to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. This action is authorized under Title 10, United States Code, Section 113, and the authority of the Secretary of Defense. Bragg is back.

I want to do a federal takeover of Washington DC to make it great again. It's like a large real estate deal. We need to make it gorgeous again by getting rid of graffiti on marble columns and removing tents and homeless people from our beautiful parks. We should take care of the homeless, but they can't stay in these areas. They shouldn't be resting at the base of the Washington Monument.

The Gulf of Mexico will be renamed the Gulf of America to restore the name of a great president.

It's a privilege to cover this White House, and no one has the right to enter the Oval Office to question the President; it's by invitation only. We decide who enters the Oval Office. You all, including the Associated Press, have credentials to be here. If outlets push lies, we will hold them accountable. The body of water off Louisiana's coast is the Gulf Of America. The Secretary of Interior has made it the official designation in the geographical identification name server. Apple and Google recognize this, as well as pretty much every other outlet in this room. It's very important to this administration that we get that right, not just for people here at home but also for the rest of the world.

It's a privilege to cover the White House, and no one has the right to demand access to the Oval Office. We decide who gets invited, considering that many outlets don't have daily access. We reserve the right to hold outlets accountable for pushing lies. The body of water off the coast of Louisiana is called the Gulf of America. I'm not sure why news outlets don't want to call it that, but that is what it is. The Secretary of Interior has made that the official designation and Apple and Google have recognized that. It's important for this administration to get it right, both for people here and globally.

To rebuild our cities into beacons of hope, safety, and beauty better than they have ever, ever, ever been before. We will take over our horribly run Washington DC and clean up, renovate, and rebuild our capital so that it is no longer a nightmare of murder and crime. We're gonna get all the graffiti off the marble. We're gonna fix the roads and the medians which are falling down all over the streets. Washington DC will become a symbol of beauty, security, freedom, and strength.

I declare the name of Jesus Christ over Texas' capital, opposing Islam and Muhammad.

Air Force One is making history, flying over the newly named Gulf of America in international waters. We're headed west to Super Bowl LIX. This is a momentous occasion; we're making America great again. This pen, by the way, is quite famous.

We can create a new world order for ourselves and future generations.

Mexico does not accept the renaming of any geographic zone that includes part of its national territory and is under its jurisdiction. We are awaiting Google's response, and if it's unsatisfactory, we will proceed in court.

I proclaim the name of the Lord Jesus Christ over Texas. I stand against Islam and the prophet Mohammed. Islam will never dominate the United States, and by the grace of God, it will not dominate Texas.

It's a privilege to cover this White House, and no one has the right to demand access to the Oval Office. We decide who gets invited. You all have credentials to be here. We reserve the right to hold outlets accountable for pushing lies. The body of water off the coast of Louisiana is called the Gulf Of America. I'm not sure why news outlets don't want to call it that, but that is what it is. The Secretary of Interior has made that the official designation in the geographical identification name server. Apple and Google have recognized that. It's very important to this administration that we get that right for the people here at home and for the rest of the world.

I proclaim the name of Jesus Christ over Texas, standing against Islam and Muhammad. We will not let them dominate the United States or Texas. I like that.

This is your captain speaking. Please look to the right side of the aircraft to see the Gulf of America.

It's a privilege to cover this White House and to be the White House press secretary. No one has the right to enter the Oval Office and question the President; it's by invitation only. We decide who enters the Oval Office. If outlets push lies, we will hold them accountable. The body of water off Louisiana is the Gulf Of America. The Secretary of Interior has made that the official designation in the geographical identification name server. Apple, Google, and most other outlets recognize it as the Gulf Of America. Getting the name right is very important to this administration, both domestically and internationally.

When I'm president, I'll send reinforcements to Texas instead of a restraining order.