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"The American people to believe that? Do you think they're stupid? No." "What I am doing is protecting this country, providing historic reform, combating the weaponization of intelligence by the likes of you." "And we have countless proven you to be alive in Russia Gate in January 5." "You are the biggest put on a show so you can raise money for your charade." "You are a political buffoon at best." "But all you care about is a child sex predator that was prosecuted by a prior administration, and the Obama Justice department and the Biden justice department did squat." "And what did president Trump do? Bring new charges courageously." "33,000 pages of information to you." "I challenge you to say anything credibly to the truth." "Go ahead and run to the cameras where you wanna go now."

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This isn't a place where you can just spin tales and deceive people. This is the news, and we tell the truth. It's alarming that a man who has struggled to denounce white supremacists is in this position. Remember when he said there were very fine people on both sides? Those words have power and meaning. When I speak, the world listens, including neo-Nazis and white supremacists. Why can't I denounce them or reject their support? I'm not talking about neo-Nazis and white nationalists; they should be condemned totally. What's your response to my saying Liz Cheney should be fired? I keep speaking in extreme terms about the potential dangers to the country if I don't win in November. I've even used words like "bloodbath".

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He was the lone shooter. He acted alone. The binders were blank, and we didn't know the media was gonna be there, and the binders are blank. And if you don't think that they're blank, you're antisemitic. You're antisemitic. You're unamerican. Unamerican. The towers fell. The planes hit the towers. Weapons of mass destruction. There's weapons of mass destruction. War. We need to go to war. China's coming. Russia's coming. Iran is coming. Ripped to the SS Liberty. Accountability's coming. Wear your mask. Did you see my hearing? Look at my jeans. Did you see me in my pajamas? Are you asking questions? Don't ask questions. Didn't do it. It wasn't us. We didn't do it. Are you an anti Semite? Are you racist? Are you bigoted un American? You're un American.

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I could be a dog catcher and was voted for president twice. But someone interrupts, asking to talk about Jeffrey Epstein and the Lolita Express. The conversation gets interrupted again, but the speaker mentions feeling sad about Arkansas.

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"I have a headline here from the Washington Post that said Trump peddles false conspiracy theories tying the Clintons to several deaths." "the death of Mark Middleton, was a former Clinton White House aide, who was found dead dead on a Clinton Foundation property." "Sometime on May 7, Mark Middleton decided to drive 30 miles away from his home to the Heifer Ranch in Perryville and both hung and shot himself with a shotgun at the same time." "Arranged at least seven of the 17 visits that Epstein made to the White House and flew on the Lolita Express several times himself, according to Daily Mail." "They have filed an injunction arguing that blocking the release of the footage would halt a proliferation of unsubstantiated conspiracy theories." "The body count of the Clintons is well over a 100 that they've killed."

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Are you going to cover the Diddy scandal in your stand-up routine? Have you thought about how to approach it? I probably won't. Why not? It's about family. If he's convicted, would you consider it then? No. So you think Diddy is completely off-limits? Yeah, that's right. Alright, thanks. How are you doing?

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"He decided to insinuate that I am a pedophile." "You don't like Trump? You're a pedophile." "It's their go to move, and it shows you how much they actually care about pedophilia." "We say a lot of things on this show. We don't make up lies." "In fact, we have a team of people who work very hard to sift through facts and reputable sources before I make a joke." "Even he deserves that consideration, and we give it to him because the truth still matters." "And when I do get something wrong, which happens on rare occasions, you know what I do? I apologize for it, which is what Aaron Rogers should do, which is what a decent person would do." "But saying someone is a pedophile is not an opinion, nor is it trash talk. Sorry, Pat McAfee." "And wanted to make false and very damaging statements like that, that we should do it in court so he could share his proof with like a judge because, you know, when you hear a guy who won a Super Bowl and did the all the State Farm commercials say something like this, a lot of people believe, hopefully, many many decent people out there who vote conservative or whatever you wanna call what goes on now. I don't see anything conservative about any of it, but to those of you who are part of that, I want to say this and I hope you will listen and give it a little bit of consideration. If you are a member of a group that think it's okay to randomly call someone a child molester because you don't like what that person has to say, maybe you should rethink being a part of that group."

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So, you called Elon Musk a fascist and implied he's a national security threat. But is that really more of a threat than, say, sleeping with a Chinese spy? What's fascistic about exposing government corruption? I know you just had dinner with lobbyists, and I heard you like to be with only attractive people. So, do you want to comment on any of this? You think Elon Musk is a national security threat, but you sleeping with a Chinese spy isn't? You don't want to comment on that at all? Looks like guilty is charged.

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If we were playing a drinking game every time someone said "if" or "Hunter," I'd be drunk by now. I'm curious, to understand your ruling, if someone on this committee starts talking about someone's "bleach blonde, bad built butch body," that wouldn't be engaging in personalities, correct? It sounds like you need to know math to be with the IRS. I agree. Right now, they're peddling Russian lies. Republicans have become synonymous with Russians. When I ask a question, that's when you answer. Otherwise, I'm talking, because it's my time. You'll know when I ask a question, I promise. No, because this is what... I'm trying to get directions, but I can't hear you with your yelling. Can you please calm down? Y'all are out of control.

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Pick it out, read it, and answer. Public place, you did it. Is this the best or the worst? The best. Probably the Obama thing. What is your wife talking about? We heard a lot in there. Who should get back in? We're not gonna discuss that. Secret Service, come here. Hi, look at y'all. We're not talking about it. That's an awesome answer. Not the White House. We were not at the White House. He was not elected yet. Anyway, moving on. I'm in trouble now. No, you're good.

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I think we roll them tonight. In this fantasy, he's going to get it all back in the debates. Debates are something Republicans are rising to. Stop the hammering! Where's the hammer? I think he wins it. Stop the hammering! Somebody go up there and stop the hammering! It's a polarized electorate. Stop the hammering! Call Phil Griffin, I don't care. Stop the hammering!

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Speaker 0 states that Speaker 2 has a reputation for texting underage girls. Speaker 0 claims Bill Clinton officiated Speaker 2's wedding with someone who was a right-hand person to Hillary Clinton in 2016. Speaker 0 mentions 650,000 emails and a folder with the words "life insurance," claiming that nine out of twelve NYPD cops who saw the email committed suicide. Speaker 0 then reads a list of 46 names of people close to the Clintons who have died, including James McDougal and Mary Mahoney. Speaker 2 accuses Speaker 0 of being a bully for reading the list and says Hillary Clinton is the problem. Speaker 0 asks how people close to the Clintons keep dying. Speaker 1 suggests cutting the list out, but Speaker 0 refuses.

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Thanks, I'm Norm McDonald. Now, the fake news. It's official: murder is legal in California.

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Alec, it's your favorite president. I'm offering you a total pardon because I want to be friends. Just kiss the ring for murdering that woman. Your impersonation of me wasn't great, but we're back in office now. If you don't want the pardon for killing that woman, that's fine. She's looking down, happy you're being confronted. (Other speaker) Do you realize my kids live in this building? We love the children. Be careful. If this camera wasn't here, I'd snap your neck. (Me) Alec Baldwin, ladies and gentlemen, what a class act! I was born and raised in New York City. I love you, Alec. You've got more balls than De Niro. De Niro ran away, but you confronted me. You're strong, but you're also weak because you murdered a woman.

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At age 59, I walked off the bus as a different man. Although I'm not proud of it, what I said was just locker room talk. Bill Clinton, on the other hand, has done far worse things to women. He has a history of abusive behavior towards women, and Hillary Clinton has attacked those same women. One of them, Kathy Shelton, was raped at 12 years old, and Hillary represented her rapist and laughed at her. Bill Clinton was impeached, lost his law license, and had to pay a fine to Paula Jones. So, when Hillary brings up my words from 11 years ago, it's disgraceful and she should be ashamed of herself.

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"We had some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it." "In between the finger pointing, there was grieving." "On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half staff, which got some criticism." "But on a human level, you can see how hard the president is taking this." "The loss of your friend, Charlie Kirk." "May I ask, sir, personally, how are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir?" "I think very good." "Yes. He's at the fourth stage of grief, construction." "Demolition, Demolition, construction. Construction," "This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend." "This is how a four year old mourns a goldfish." "Okay?"

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Speaker 1: "Just because the other side... jokes about the bad things that happened to them, I don't think that makes it okay for us to turn around and do the same." Speaker 0: "No. We need to stop... the left just haven't cucked out enough." Speaker 0: "Trump is fucking insane because he has support from 90% of the conservatives in the Republican party who are entirely un American." Speaker 1: "One person is dead... a swing state voter." Speaker 1: "We don't know what the motivation of the shooter was." Speaker 1: "Just because there is fire burning doesn't give us leave to throw more wood on it." Speaker 0: "Donald Trump wanted absolute criminal immunity." Speaker 0: "Democracy only works when everybody participates." Speaker 1: "I reject this framing entirely."

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Speaker 0 introduces humor about President Trump, saying, “I give president Trump quite a hard time, but sometimes that dude is just funny as hell. Check this out.” Speaker 1 asks, “And mister president, if you are declaring war against these cartels and congress is likely to approve of that process, why not just ask for a declaration of war?” Speaker 2 responds, “Well, I don't think we're gonna necessarily ask for a declaration of war. I think we're just gonna kill people that are bringing drugs into our country. Okay? We're gonna kill them. You know? They're gonna be, like, dead. Okay? Mister president. Yeah. Mister president.” Speaker 0 reiterates, “I don't think we need a declaration of war. We're just gonna we're just gonna kill people that are bringing drugs into our country, and they're gonna they're gonna be dead. Okay. Yeah. Like it was just no big deal, man. We're just we're just killing people without trial, without a jury, without being convicted of a crime. You know? We're just we're just gonna kill them. Okay? Dude's funny as hell.”

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Speaker 0 asks, “How did you kill Jeffrey Epstein? … you’re not in power, but you have all the power.” Speaker 1 responds that “The things they say are so ridiculous. Honestly, I don’t know what I ever did to get them so upset.” Speaker 2 says, “My father is no different than any other powerful man. Any man who’s responsible for other people, like a senator or a president.” Speaker 1 counters that he sounds naive; Speaker 2 asks, “Why?” Speaker 1 asserts, “Senators and presidents don’t have men killed.” Speaker 2 retorts, “Oh, who’s being naive, Kaye?” Speaker 3 mentions a fellow discussing becoming their next congressman, Bill Clinton, calling him a new man. Speaker 4 delivers a hopeful closing address about trusting each other to forge a future that will enrich their lives, strengthen traditions and faith, and make them proud they gave their best; God bless you all. Speaker 5 discusses the term “Clinton body count,” saying it’s become common in pop culture. It’s based on the claim that numerous people connected to Bill Clinton—critics, opponents, associates, and witnesses—died in mysterious ways, far too many to dismiss as coincidence. The term first appeared when Bill Clinton was governor of Arkansas, with at least 20 people connected to him murdered or dying mysteriously, mostly around the CIA’s illegal activities at Mina Intermountain Municipal Airport, part of the Iran-Contra affair, involving smuggling drugs and guns through Mina, Arkansas to fund a revolution in Nicaragua. Speaker 6 explains that the Contras were former Sandinista military officers who had been kicked out of Nicaragua in 1979 and were trying to retake the country with CIA aid. He notes the Contras were a creation of the CIA and were dealing drugs in Los Angeles and elsewhere; drug traffickers met with CIA agents, and the influx of cheap cocaine into South Central Los Angeles coincided with the rise of crack, describing a historical collision. Speaker 5 recalls it was bombshell news in the 1990s when Clinton’s involvement with Mina and the growing number of dead witnesses were covered in documentaries, and even mainstream news covered CIA drug smuggling; however, the narrative moved on to Monica Lewinsky, cigars, and oral sex, and Mina “never happened” in the mainstream. Speaker 7 recounts an encounter with a supervisor in the Saline County Criminal Investigation Division who urged him to drop the case, suggesting it could cause grief if pursued. Speaker 5 notes that the first two names on the list are women: Suzanne Coleman (or Susan Coleman) and Judy Gibbs, with Coleman allegedly pregnant with Clinton’s child and dying of a gunshot to the back of the head; Gibbs dying in a house fire amid rumors of compromising photos with Clinton. Speaker 8 asks about a lobby display. Speaker 9 asks if it’s taken care of. Speaker 5 elaborates: Judy Gibbs, a former model, left modeling to marry Bill Puterbaugh; his son Randy claims Puterbaugh’s father posed Judy for sex with Clinton to gain political favor; Judy’s death followed a fire at their home after a brother-in-law, Dale Bliss, was caught molesting a boy, with a hidden window found of Clinton having sex with Judy; Gibbs and Puterbaugh died in the fire. Judy’s sister Martha and Randy believe Clinton was responsible for Gibbs’s death. Speaker 0 reports Sundinista troops moving from Nicaragua against contras in Honduras. Speaker 8 notes a killer blow to crush freedom fighters while Congress withholds aid and they can’t be resupplied. Speaker 10: Nicaragua’s Sandinistas invade Honduran territory after taking a house vote, with about 1,500 troops; Ortega warns US intervention will lead to war. Speaker 5: On 10/05/1986, a CIA airplane was shot down over Nicaragua; pilot Eugene Hasenfuss captured; he testifies at a press conference that he was part of Operation Enterprise to supply Contras with weapons supervised by the US government. Speaker 0: Hasenfuss described being brought to Miami by former Air America pilot William Cooper and assigned to fly weapons to the Contras. Speaker 12: Hasenfuss testified that flights aimed to resupply the FDN and UNO teams of the Contras. Speaker 0: Under questioning, Hasenfuss did not repeat a charge that two Cuban Americans working with him were CIA operatives. Speaker 5: This linked to the Reagan White House, known as the Iran-Contra affair; the operation involved supplying the Nicaraguan Contras with untraceable weapons, funded by illegal weapons sales to Iran and cocaine distribution through Mina, Arkansas; profits laundered through organizations such as the Arkansas Development Finance Authority created by Webster Hubbel and signed into law by governor Bill Clinton. Oliver North took the blame during hearings; Clinton’s involvement appeared evident as the operation ran through Arkansas. Speaker 13: Barry Seal, a drug smuggler in the Mina operation, set up in Louisiana but moved to Arkansas due to a “sleazy governor,” noted as Bill Clinton being hooked on cocaine. Speaker 14: Clinton was hospitalized for cocaine abuse on at least one or two occasions. Speaker 5: The Mina case involved corrupt cops, judges, and politicians in high positions to support drug smuggling and money laundering. Things progressed until 1987’s events around Don Henry and Kevin Ives. Speaker 15: In 1982, Barry Seal set up a major drug-smuggling operation in Mina under Clinton’s oversight; Seal became an informant for the DEA after a sentencing deal. Speaker 11: Seal was killed in 1986; Milam, a witness, was decapitated in 1987; Malik, Arkansas’s medical examiner, ruled Milam’s death an ulcer and later had the head found elsewhere; questions were raised about Malik’s competence and independence. Speaker 18: The head’s disappearance and later discovery drew scrutiny toward Clinton’s influence over Malik. Speaker 19: The question remains whether stages of the investigation revealed that these deaths were connected to Mina. Speaker 20: Witnesses including Jean Duffy and Keith McCaskill faced threats and murder as investigations pursued the Mina drug operation; several witnesses and officials were murdered or died under suspicious circumstances. Speaker 3, Speaker 1, Speaker 5 discuss the breadth of cases and the idea of a Clinton body count, involving many names and alleged connections to Mina, the Iran-Contra operation, and drug smuggling and its coverups. Speaker 21: Kevin Ives and Don Henry were claimed by some to have been on a drop site; initial autopsy ruled death by train after drugging with marijuana; later autopsies contested this, showing stabbing and skull crushing before being placed on the tracks. Medical examiner Malik’s rulings were criticized; Don Henry and Kevin Ives’s deaths remained a focal point of alleged coverups; the grand jury investigation faced obstruction; witnesses died, and some investigators faced danger or were removed. Speaker 22: The narrative includes multiple other individuals—Gregory Collins, Jeff Rhodes, Richard Winters, Jordan Kettleson, Colonel James Sabo, Arkansas investigator Russell Welch—killed or attacked amid ongoing investigations into Mina’s drug operation and associated corruption; the pattern of deaths persisted through 1992. Speaker 24: A 1983 awareness of a smuggling operation at Mina Airport; 1991 anthrax infection of a government figure; journalist Danny Casalaro found dead in a hotel bathtub in 1991; 1992 security figure Gary Johnson survives a home invasion; 1992 Jennifer Flowers era and related deaths; Plane crash of Victor Razor and his son in 1992; Paul Tully’s death in a hotel room in Little Rock; Paula Grober’s death in a car accident; 1992 ski accident death of Jim Wilhite; the phrase Clinton body count remains associated with these mysteries prior to Clinton’s presidency. Speaker 9 notes Republicans blaming the existence of a small base at Mina on George Bush and Oliver North; the question of national security is raised. Speaker 12 concludes that the airport and events were primarily matters for federal jurisdiction; state had little to do with it.

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"You know, I told myself I wasn't gonna make this video, but I'm gonna make it." "When Joe Biden was falling upstairs and falling downstairs and falling off of his bike and crapping his pants in public in front of the pope, no less." "And then when he was diagnosed with cancer, I don't remember seeing a single conservative Republican wishing him to be unalived." "But yet you fucking liberals try to assassinate our president when he was running for office again, not once, not twice, but three times." "And in the last twenty minutes, I have seen nothing but hate and spew vomit come out of liberals' mouths all over social media, elated and happy that Charlie was assassinated simply because of his beliefs." "Sick of this shit."

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So, we've got breaking news: Trump's been arrested for *not* being on Epstein's client list, while Bill Clinton wins for most trips to the island. I want to thank my wife and Monica. Jeffrey, this one's for you! Welcome to client list anonymous. My name is Tom Hanks, and I'm on the list. It’s been three weeks, but no one will ever know. I'm Bill, and it's been two days. I was lonely watching Cuties, and boom, a million-dollar hush money payment. Epstein Island? They got my associate, so case closed! I never met Jeffrey, no sexual relations happened on Epstein Island. Don't worry, nobody will ever know. That’s Jeffrey's client list. Trump isn't on it! You'll fry for this. I didn't even know there were clients.

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"We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it." "In between the finger pointing, there was grieving." "On Friday, the White House flew the flags at half staff, which got some criticism." "And by the way, right there, you see all the trucks. They've just started construction of the new ballroom for the White House, and it's gonna be a beauty." "Doctor. Dolce is on the loss of your friend Charlie Kirk." "May I ask, sir, personally, how are you holding up over the last day and a half, sir?" "I think very good." "Yes. He's at the fourth stage of grief, construction." "This is not how an adult grieves the murder of someone he called a friend." "This is how a four year old mourns a goldfish."

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"Do you accept, Carrie, that this is a it's not just a one-sided problem? The political violence and violent rhetoric is a problem on both sides of the divide, and it's incumbent on everybody in a position of authority and influence to take the lead here in trying to to just tone things down." "There's been a few cases where it goes from from the right to the left, but there's been an exorbitant number where it's coming from the left to the right. And you can't deny that. If you add it all up, it's just more violence. I mean, president Trump was nearly assassinated. There's another attempt on his life." "The media has to take credit for what they have caused, the chaos they've caused in our country, and they haven't done it. And until they do, they need to be turned off, canceled, muted. They're absolutely abhorrent."

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I think we should get the homicide out of the White House and get a fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers. Clinton murdered a guy. That's going a little too far. This is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear that? Maybe George or Bill Clinton would be your hero. His career is over after this. Anyway, who cares? We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased, and I thought it was untrue about it.

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I think we should get the homicide out of the White House, we don't want any more murderers. Let's just go on to the next question. You're not talking about losing accusations. That's a little too far, let's just go on to the next question. This is not the place to make those accusations and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear the word, bonus raise, he's my hero, you know, just like you. There's no stopping you, is there? His career is over after this. We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased and I thought it was untrue about it. You have 10 sons, you're not allowed to tell anything like that. He doesn't answer anything anyway. He's on the millionaire tonight.
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