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I was asked about Trump becoming speaker and I answered honestly. I think "speaker Trump" sounds great.

I've encountered people like Trump before, and so have you. These are guys who avoid paying their taxes by claiming they're smart and know how to manipulate the system. But I'm fed up with these so-called smart guys. We truly believe in our son. He is incredibly intelligent.

I did great at the debate the other night. The other guy is quitting, so we have Kamala now. She's better. Imagine him dealing with Putin and the Chinese president. He's probably quitting. Keep knocking them out. Thank you.

I didn't choose Trump as VP, and I don't think she's fit to be president. Let's begin with that. The truth is, the evaluation is...

I used to be a Democrat, but after meeting this man, I won't vote for a Democrat again.

I could be a dog catcher and was voted for president twice. But someone interrupts, asking to talk about Jeffrey Epstein and the Lolita Express. The conversation gets interrupted again, but the speaker mentions feeling sad about Arkansas.

He's labeled me venomous and disgraceful, criticizing the Supreme Court situation and calling me radical. Yes, we recognize his erratic behavior and lack of sound judgment. His time is limited, and we will unite against him. He's also called me a racist. We must confront an administration that is too male, too pale, and too stale. Thank you.

Democrats falsely praised Joe Biden for his abilities, but it's now clear they were lying. The American people are witnessing the chaos and lies of the Bidens. They are falling apart, and Joe Biden is not fit to lead. It's a disgrace.

This guy, who I used to call 1% Joe, ran multiple times and only got 1% of the votes. Now he's shot, with half of his head left, and he somehow ends up getting the nomination.

I told Barack that if there's a moral disagreement, I'll develop a disease and resign.

Okay, so the richest guy in the world is on our team. I know that's a tough pill to swallow if you are competitive, but it's true. I tried to find someone smarter than him, believe me, I searched everywhere, but I couldn't do it. For the good of the country, we settled on the best person for the job. Thanks for having me.

Judge, why did you want the job? I appoint federal judges, but thanks for serving. Can you make a speech? Hush up, boy.

I believe they were being bribed. Joe Biden giving away $1 billion in exchange for my firing, isn't that corruption?

I was relieved when I heard Trump was shot, but then disappointed to learn it was just in the ear. I don't feel bad about it. He disgusts me.

He's not perfect, but let's not ignore the positive things he's done. I'm just a president, after all.

What bothers me even more than that guy are the Republican senators and congressmen who blindly follow along. They don't believe in any of it. They're just scared he'll trash them on Truth Social and they'll lose their jobs. They're doing whatever he says, which is a dictatorship. After everything I've done for you over the last two years, standing up for you, you're going to treat me with disrespect? If I could take back your letter of recommendation, I would. Don't ever talk to me like that again, personally. You disrespect me like that after I stood up for you? You got your letter, your grade, so now you can treat me like that?

I have faith in the American people. The way Trump talks to his audience is not right. Don't be fooled by attempts to humanize him.

I call it the wheel. It rules! A bagel is better, though. This fork—I've got ten! We conduct business outside, like humans. This coffee is new...awful! I'm jittery. Sign here, Hancock! Gentlemen, have you lost your minds? People have the right to vote—even stupid ones! Edison, it stinks! You're wasting your time. You might as well put dishes in the shower. We're putting mail on the moon?! I can't even get tuna without celery! It's too small, it's full! I'm never wrong. George, I left my cane in there! That's an expensive cane!

The people here are smart. I'm running against someone with a low IQ.

I think it's time for him to try something new because I can't handle his past anymore. According to the laws.

I don't care who I offend, but if Trump gets convicted of a crime and can still run for president, I'll vote for him. He's funny and I want to see what he does. Trump is hilarious, so I'm voting for him. That's all I have to say.

Speaker 0: Yeah. You can have enough satisfaction to reelect Ted Cruz. You cannot reelect Lindsey Graham. Not because they're evil. I'm not even saying they are, but because they've betrayed their most basic commitment, which is to our country Speaker 0: Ted Cruz was supposed to be a smart one. Was supposed to be. What the heck is going on here? Speaker 0: the problem with Ted Cruz is he has a high verbal IQ. Speaker 0: He is very fluent with the language. Speaker 0: If you are a good talker, you convince yourself that you're a genius. Speaker 0: Because you hear yourself talk and you're like, man, I'm smart. Speaker 0: But there is a huge difference between the ability to explain something or fluency with English and wisdom, like true wisdom. Speaker 0: And these people, all of this happened to me, they get incredibly arrogant. Speaker 0: They think they're smarter than they are. Speaker 0: They think they're wiser than they are.

If you believe what the media says, you've gained a valuable ally who essentially works for you without charge. I want to be clear, I admire President Trump. I genuinely believe he's a good person. There's something admirable about him. The president has faced relentless and unfair attacks in the media, which is truly outrageous. In my experience, having spent considerable time with him, I have never once witnessed him acting in a mean, cruel, or unethical manner.

I think we should get the homicide out of the White House and get a fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers. Clinton murdered a guy. That's going a little too far. This is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear that? Maybe George or Bill Clinton would be your hero. His career is over after this. Anyway, who cares? We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased, and I thought it was untrue about it.

I think we should get the homicide out of the White House, we don't want any more murderers. Let's just go on to the next question. You're not talking about losing accusations. That's a little too far, let's just go on to the next question. This is not the place to make those accusations and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear the word, bonus raise, he's my hero, you know, just like you. There's no stopping you, is there? His career is over after this. We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased and I thought it was untrue about it. You have 10 sons, you're not allowed to tell anything like that. He doesn't answer anything anyway. He's on the millionaire tonight.