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"Bro, get the fuck away from your lights. Turn around." "Bro, now hold on. Hold on. Hold on." "I think it's gonna crash, bro." "Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit." "Damn, they're dead." "They are dead, bro."

Oh my god, an airplane is crashing! Tara, are you seeing this? I can't believe what I'm seeing. We have to share this. Come on.

Father: My son, the bar mitzvah boy. How's the Haftarah studying coming? Theodore: Tears good. Father: Something that matter, Theodore? Theodore: Can I ask you a weird question? Father: Sure. Theodore: Do you think somebody could kidnap a kid and keep him underground? I'd get involved. Father: Underground? What is wrong with you? Theodore: Yeah, just keep him there in the sewers for months and months hurting him or I don't know. Have you ever heard of something like that? Father: Your grandparents escaped Buchenwald. Their entire families murdered. The skin of Jewish prisoners used for lampshades. What? Lampshades. We are Jews, Theodore. We know better than anyone the real horrors of this world. Reality is terrifying enough as it is. Cut it up with the fantasy.

They're inside. He's gone. I'm not afraid anymore. The oracle said I'd fall in love with the man I love. You can't be dead because I love you. Get up. I know you're afraid of change. I'm here to show a world without rules or controls, where anything is possible. The choice is yours.

I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

I'm a teacher. My family teaches music too. I wanted to talk honestly with you. Did you send anything weird to Lily? Just a video. I have a strange fascination with garbage disposals since I was a kid. I find them fun. There was a message about living together with a garbage disposal in our house. That's new to me.

Oh my god. This is exciting. Oh my god. And how fuck did all that come from? Everything is ruined. Everything. Everything.

Delete it out your phone. You're taking mad pictures of the little fucking girls. Those are babies. Delete all of it. I told you I was watching them do it for the longest. You take and pick them girls. It's, like, fucking 11 years old, bro. Delete the delete before I beat the jacket off you, bro. No. Don't hit him yet. Don't hit him yet. Delete it first. Let him delete it first. No. That's robbery. Let him delete it first, bro. Let him delete it first. I told you I knew what the fuck I was saying, bro. Where's the police at? I told you I was watching them do it for the longest. Delete it. Go to your delete. Get out. Get out.

Wait, what about the tiger? How did it get in there? I don’t remember. Shh, Stu, get it down. It’s a side effect of Rufe’s memory loss. Come on, do we need a musical? Don’t let anyone know this. Who are you? Quiet. Mike Tyson? Why is there a tiger in your bathroom? That was unnecessary. I’m a huge fan; when you knocked out Holmes, that was impressive. Look, we were drugged last night and have no memory of what happened.

I don't know. All these birds are running. I've been watching this feed like crazy. What's happening here? Uh-oh. Open the gates. There's a chat here. Hold on. Did it freeze? What the heck's going on? Oh, good. Something may be happening here at Universal Ostrich Farm.

Oh, what is that, mom? Really? Look at this! What the hell is happening? Do you guys see this? Oh my god. What is that? What is going on?

What's up, Brian? Cut it out. Go ahead and tell your baby. No, stop it. What are you doing? No, Brian, no.

We did it. You were right. You were right. I I couldn't say much. Just have to wash my tongue. Chair. Oh my god. Is this not gonna be the best film you've ever made in your life? That's it. Hell yeah. Hell yeah? Hell yeah. Wait. You weren't recording, were you? I'll delete that shit. But I didn't record you or me. It was just voices.

We did it! You were right, I couldn't say much. Is this not going to be the best film ever? Hell yeah! Are you recording?

There's some strange stuff happening. It might be the devil's comet. Let's get out of here. Can you see that?

When you turn 16, you can have this. And when you turn 18, you'll get a mansion. You smell great. How old are you? What music do you listen to? I feel violated. Can you say it again? You have nice lips. Can you give me the sex talk? Why are you involving me in this? It's a 15-year-old's dream. I have temporary custody of Usher for the next 48 hours. We're going crazy.

You switched to hot? What happened to the baby? I’m done with you. This is your baby. Remember what we did? I’m done hiding her. Hey, my name is Agent 0. What’s up? Is this your baby mama? No way, that’s your baby, Kai. What’s her name? Zola. Zola? I don’t have a kid. But she looks just like you! How come you never told me? I don’t have a kid. You do! No, I don’t. Never! She really looks just like you, Kai.

Our agenda being unchecked may corrupt your kids. Funny, but you're right.

Oh, no, no, no! Tara, are you seeing this? An airplane is crashing! Oh my god, oh my god. Well, we'll share it, come on.

I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

He's with a 15-year-old, someone should call the police. Oh, he works there? Yeah, he does. We have evidence of him having sex with a minor. Let's call the police. This is crazy.

I'm Celine Dion, but our children aren't really ours. We're just a small part of their world. We long for the past, while they dream of the future. We may guide them, but they choose their own path. Can you believe they called security on me? I won't spend the night in jail. I'm Celine Dion, after all. Oh well, it's no big deal. I'm calling my agent, Beyonce.

I can't believe we're back here. Does anyone even remember what happened last time? Is something wrong? It's not working. No good? Nothing is happening. There we go! Oh my god! Oh boy, so good! This one's real. Yes! Yes! Yes! Lunch and a show. How about that? That *is* a sandwich! How about she's hot right now? Am I competing with the condiments?

I got it. That's a drone. No, that's a... Holy shit, I got that on video! Did I not get that on video? I wasn't... Shut up, shut up!

No, Sam, that’s not how it’s done. Let me show you how we take care of the creature. Go, Rita, get us.