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Speaker 1 is doing everything to ensure "he" does not win. The speaker questions if mispronouncing names like "Kamala" is similar to the "Barack Hussein" situation. Black Jeopardy will be played, but "the brothers" don't want fried chicken from Roy Rogers as a prize because they "get enough fried chicken." The speaker says, "Ain't that right, you smelly," then claims they didn't write that. They mention "The honorable Clarence Thomas Boongaboomga." The speaker states that black people are against them because they say that they're not a real black man, and that they're the one who's gonna get lynched. They claim "we're gonna be in trouble with the n, double a, n, p, the ECOC, and EIEI." The speaker then says they just like to smoke reefer.

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The speaker begins by making offensive racial remarks and claims that the jokes were written by Whoopi Goldberg. They proceed to make more offensive comments and insults towards others. The speaker is confronted about their language, but continues with their offensive remarks. The transcript abruptly ends.

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Someone yelled, "Have a nice round." Another person responded, "We will. Definitely will. Certainly. Have a nice round." Then, someone yelled, "Enjoy the couch."

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Speaker 0 claims that someone tells edgy jokes about the holocaust and cookies to appear cool. Speaker 0 says that the next step is to declare oneself the true conservative, not a "bunch of masturbating losers who live in your mother's basement." Speaker 1 states that someone was making holocaust jokes. Speaker 1 asks if Nick Fuentes, described as a "weird little gay kid in his basement in Chicago," is participating in a super PAC to bump off Joe Kent.

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The speaker questions the cleverness of a move, but another speaker insists it was perfect. The first speaker then references "people like you," before abruptly asking, "How old was Joseph?"

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Speaker 0 presents an ongoing mock quiz, starting with math questions that are intentionally disrupted. "One plus one. Yes. Two. Incorrect." The class then moves to "Multiculturalism. Well done, Simon." The next question is "What is three times three?" with responses "Yes?" and "Nine." but it is followed by "Wrong. Yes, Penelope. Gender equality. Very good, Penelope." Speaker 1 questions the situation: "Is this a joke? You think gender equality is a joke? No. But isn't this a math class? Don't be so racist." They insist, "I just asked a question. We don't ask questions. Questions are offensive." They comment on the handwritten display: "They've just written equality and drawn love hearts on a piece of paper. He expressed himself and it's beautiful. He didn't even spell equality correctly." Speaker 2 interjects, "We don't discriminate." Speaker 1 follows, arguing that the issue is not mathematics: "This has nothing to do with mathematics. You think you're so great with your maths and your science and your facts. What about feelings?" Speaker 2 responds, "Yeah. Feelings are more important than fact." Speaker 1 pushes back further, declaring, "This is wrong. You're all crazy. Crazy. Stop violating me with your different opinions. I have the right to speak my mind." Speaker 2 counters, "No. We have the right not to be offended." Speaker 1 concludes with, "And that's more important."

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A couple was walking on the beach when they saw numbers in shells. The wife initially thought it was an address. She then realized it might be a reference to restaurants when you 86 something, meaning to remove it from the menu. The speaker recalled using "86" as a kid to mean "let's get out of this place." The other speaker, a former bartender, said they would "86" a customer who was getting drunk by giving them a low-proof drink. The speaker then concluded that the shells were a clever political message and decided to Instagram it.

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Speaker 0 tells Speaker 1, "Ain't that right, you smelly nigga?" Speaker 0 says he has more jokes for Speaker 1's New Year's Eve party and that Whoopi wrote them. Speaker 0 asks, "What do you call a black rocket scientist?" and answers, "A nigga," attributing the joke to Whoopi. Speaker 0 says his mother worked in blackface. Speaker 0 tells Speaker 1 to give a kiss to "smelly cock raccoon." Speaker 0 calls Speaker 1 a "smelly nigga," claiming Whoopi wrote it. Speaker 1 says they don't accept that kind of language and will leave if Speaker 0 talks to them that way. Speaker 0 responds, "don't let the door hit you on your big black ass" and then calls Whoopi a "filthy nigga."

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Speaker 0 holds sealed envelopes, the contents unknown to anyone but him. Speaker 1 attempts to divine the answers without seeing the questions. The answers are: A condor, a bald eagle, and a snail darter. Striking air traffic controllers. Blood sugar. Cannonball run. An apple a day. A wed wobe. Cis boom bah. V eight. Dopey. Speaker 1 asks: Name three things less endangered than Tip O'Neil. What do the people waiting at the airport feel like doing? What are the three qualifications to be a Major League Baseball player? What should a vampire cut down on when he's on a diet? What do you call a drink made with gunpowder and tequila? What's a minimum wage for a fruit fly? What does Barbara Walters wear over her wed pajamas? Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes? What kind of social disease can you get from an octopus? At the present time, who's running the tower at LA Airport? Speaker 1 concludes by saying, "How does William Buckley say, I think I'm going to barf?"

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The speaker wonders if something constitutes advice. They point out something, noting its color is unidentifiable. Apologizing for jumping around, they question if a specific item was used earlier without their knowledge, expressing a feeling of having missed it. They then indicate having a few more items, identifying three as the funniest.

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Girls and boys can both wash dishes, contrary to a meme suggesting only women can wash sheets. However, this meme is considered hate speech on Instagram, similar to the swastika symbol. The speaker expresses a desire to eliminate jokes altogether, even suggesting that it should be illegal. They reassure the listener that they will never have to see a swastika symbol. The speaker concludes by affirming that everyone, including the listener, can wash dishes.

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Speaker 0 chants "2, 4, 6, 8. Go fun of our way," twice. Speaker 1 says someone will fall through the floor and accuses "the no ma'am guy" of sending them. He suggests someone was supposed to jump out of a cake but ate it. Speaker 0 claims they are activists. Speaker 1 retorts they are not active enough. Speaker 0 says they marched yesterday. Speaker 1 asks if it was "the million pound march" or "Hams across America."

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Speaker 0: We already have a n-word mayor. We don't need any more n-word big shots. Speaker 1: Poor kids are just as bright and tall as white kids. Speaker 0: The first mainstream African American was clean and nice. Speaker 1: If you have a problem figuring out whether you're premier Trump and you ain't black. Speaker 0: A Black woman helped me stay sequestered by stocking shelves. Speaker 0: Our community is as diverse as the Bronx, Miami, and San Antonio. Speaker 1: The Latino community is incredibly diverse, unlike the African American community. Speaker 1: Cancel it, Miguel. That's how you play.

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A speaker stated that males are smarter than females, then immediately said that anyone who believes that females are not smart enough to be president should be shot. The speaker then retracted the statement about shooting people, saying they did not want the Dean to hear it.

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George Carlin returns with a modern twist on his classic routine about words you can't say. He humorously critiques terms like "master bedroom," suggesting alternatives that reflect current sensitivities. He points out that phrases like "spirit animal" and "ghetto" can be problematic, emphasizing the importance of language in shaping perceptions. Carlin highlights the absurdity of political correctness, questioning why certain phrases are deemed offensive. He notes the irony of being unable to express thoughts freely, especially in a world where language is constantly evolving. Ultimately, he playfully acknowledges the challenge of navigating today's linguistic landscape, leaving the audience with a sense of the absurdity surrounding censorship.

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Speaker 0 has envelopes containing questions that only he knows. Speaker 1 will try to divine the answers. The answers are: a condor, a bald eagle, and a snail darter; striking air traffic controllers; blood sugar; when a toothless yak gum your grandmother's wheat thins; cannonball run; an apple a day; a wed wobe; cis boom bah; V eight; Dopey and sleepy. The questions are: Name three things less endangered than Tip O'Neil; What do the people waiting at the airport feel like doing?; What are the three qualifications to be a Major League Baseball player?; What should a vampire cut down on when he's on a diet?; What do you call a drink made with gunpowder and tequila?; What's a minimum wage for a fruit fly?; What does Barbara Walters wear over her wed pajamas?; Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes?; What kind of social disease can you get from an octopus?; At the present time, who's running the tower at LA Airport?; How does William Buckley say, I think I'm going to barf?

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Speaker 0 tells Speaker 1, "you smelly nigga," and says he didn't write it, then claims Whoopi wrote it. He asks, "What do you call a black rocket scientist?" and answers, "A nigga," attributing the joke to Whoopi. Speaker 0 says his mother is dancing because she worked in blackface too. He then calls Speaker 1 a "smelly cog head, Coon." Speaker 1 objects to the language, stating, "You don't talk to me that way or I'll leave." Speaker 0 responds, "don't let the door hit you on your big black ass mama on the way out of here."

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Speaker 0 and Speaker 1 discuss the idea that people use coded language, noting that the code is "glaringly obvious when they say pizza and when they say jerky." They describe how such terms stand out as obvious codes. They question the practicality of other coded comments, asking, "Why do I need a chilled container to," followed by "Right. You know, a chilled bag or whatever they say," indicating confusion about the packaging or handling of something being coded. Speaker 1 adds a rhetorical rejection of the behavior, saying, "Jesus Christ," and questions, "And so you think they're eating babies?" The conversation moves from skepticism about ordinary explanations to a stronger, more sensational hypothesis, with Speaker 0 affirming, "Oh, yeah. I absolutely believe that." This leads Speaker 1 to suggest an association with Kurt Metzger, saying, "You should get together with Kurt Metzger You'd crazy," implying a link to similar views or discussions. Speaker 0 reflects on the belief system as dating "back, like, you know, a long long time. Dates this is Moloch worship." The term "Moloch worship" is invoked to describe the perceived ancient or ritualistic undertones behind the coded language and alleged practices. The exchange mentions an "other email" that contained the sentence, "thank you for the torture video. I enjoyed the torture video," indicating that there are communications expressing enthusiasm for violent content. This line is highlighted as part of the broader pattern they are observing. Speaker 0 reiterates their conviction that people who hold these beliefs "don't want to accept it. Like, don't wanna believe it. They don't wanna accept it," emphasizing a reluctance among others to acknowledge these supposedly hidden realities. Overall, the dialogue centers on the idea that coded language (with examples like "pizza" and "jerky") is obvious, that the contents or activities behind the codes might involve extreme or violent practices, and that there is a long-standing, possibly ritualistic framework (Moloch worship) underpinning these beliefs. The speakers acknowledge an element of denial among others who refuse to accept these interpretations, and they reference provocative associations (such as the torture video email) to illustrate the pervasiveness of these beliefs and communications.

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We need one more joke to wrap this up. How about a prominent Democrat maskless in a room full of masked schoolchildren? That’s too close to reality. Let’s go dumber. Apple introduces a pregnant man emoji. Already happened. John Kerry warns the Ukraine war might distract from climate change. CDC recommends social distancing. A math professor claims 2 plus 2 equals 4 is racist. A man who undermined women in sports is celebrated. What if Biden started a program to give crack pipes to drug addicts for racial equity? That’s absurd! But it sounds like something he might actually do. Dinner’s here! Did you hear about the president giving out free crack pipes?

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A speaker stated that some men won't vote for a female president because they don't think women are smart enough. The speaker then said, "We could line all those guys up and shoot them," before immediately retracting the statement and asking for it to be removed from the recording to avoid repercussions from the dean.

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Thanks for having me, Colin. By the way, my eyes are down here. So, I’m glad about the ruling in the UK that makes bald jokes off-limits. I’m tired of them! I’ve heard all the jokes, like how my head looks like an old spice deodorant when I wear a red turtleneck. Once, during jury duty with other bald men, the defendant joked we looked like a carton of eggs. And yes, I lotion my head because it gets dry. You probably make insensitive jokes, like asking if the carpet matches the drapes. No, it’s actually quite hairy down there! All this talk is making me sweaty. I dare you to laugh! By the way, I’m also impotent. Don’t laugh. Just go away.

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At a meeting of canceled mascots, the white member asks, 'So they're not just canceling minority mascots anymore?' 'They're coming for all of us.' The new member explains being told by 'A white lady' that 'I'm racist. I mean, how? How?' The group counters, 'It's those millennials. They ruin everything.' They add, 'Millennials are in their forties now. I think the problem is Gen z.' A running gag asks, 'What is in that barrel? Is it crackers?' with guesses like 'fish,' 'cheese,' 'rice.' The new member states two things: 'One, I'm just a folksy guy who wants to help sell southern style cooking.' 'Two, if you keep asking about the barrel, it's gonna be the biggest regret of your life.' The barrel seems to move; 'The public has demanded me back. So long, the losers.' 'That's nice. Maybe there's hope for all of us.'

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Hey, kids! Who wants to play Guess Who? I don’t like that game; it’s not inclusive. Introducing the new Guess Who, now with 437 genders! Is your person defined by gender? You can’t determine someone's gender by their appearance; that’s offensive. Does your person look like a traditional female? That’s also reductive and patriarchal. This game is for all families, including single, blended, and LGBTQIA+ families, valuing everyone for who they are. But this game has too many pieces! Do you want it easy or inclusive? Inclusive! Guess Who offers hours of fun, promoting a sense of smug satisfaction about being on the right side of history. Oh, and the game company just added 7 more genders and will send new pieces tonight!

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They confront someone about online comments they made about the Jewish community. The person asserts, “I have a freedom of speech, dude.” The others respond that they understand freedom of speech but need to ensure the person isn’t doing something wrong; one asks, “Do you have warrant?” and the response is, “No.” They point to a “no soliciting” sign and tell the person, “What you're doing is basically soliciting,” noting that they’re not welcome there. The dialogue ends with “Okay. Stay off the lawn, please. K. Bye.”

Armchair Expert

The Good Place Week: Mike Schur | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Guests: Mike Schur, Regis Philbin, Andrew Dice Clay, Kristen
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In this episode of Armchair Expert, host Dax Shepard welcomes Mike Schur, a revered showrunner known for his work on shows like The Good Place. Dax praises Mike's leadership skills and the respect he commands from his colleagues, emphasizing the challenges of being a showrunner in the television industry. The conversation touches on the nature of comedy, with Mike expressing concerns about the narrowing scope of humor and the implications of making jokes at the expense of marginalized groups. He argues that while some humor may have been acceptable in the past, the current landscape requires a more thoughtful approach to avoid perpetuating systemic injustices. Mike discusses the evolution of comedy, reflecting on how past films and stand-up routines often included jokes that would be deemed unacceptable today. He highlights the importance of understanding the context of humor and the responsibility comedians have to consider the impact of their words. The dialogue shifts to the concept of privilege, with Mike acknowledging that while he recognizes his white privilege, he also believes that not all white individuals experience the same level of advantage. The episode also delves into the dynamics of writing for television, with Mike sharing insights from his experience at SNL and The Good Place. He emphasizes the collaborative nature of writing rooms and the importance of maintaining a fun and creative atmosphere. Dax and Mike discuss the balance between humor and sensitivity, particularly in relation to characters that may embody stereotypes. They agree that comedy can serve a purpose in critiquing societal norms, but it must be done thoughtfully to avoid reinforcing harmful stereotypes. Overall, the conversation is a deep exploration of the complexities of comedy, privilege, and the responsibilities of creators in the entertainment industry, with both Dax and Mike advocating for a more inclusive and considerate approach to humor.
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