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I'm amazed to be part of the entertainment industry, coming from a small town in Indiana. And just to clarify, I am not a pedophile.

Great to see you! It's been a while since the Dallas Gala. Thank you for taking the time to meet. It's my pleasure.

Their house looks good. I love podcasts. Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking. Gravity's Rainbow is my favorite book. I'm Charlie. I'm Ben. Would you ever watch where you're going? You charged into me like a rhino! It's November; shouldn't you be with the Halloween decorations? What are you listening to? A podcast on how to be less of a coward? You have something in your hair—oh, it's a rat. I thought I was unlucky in love. Hi, I had to draw you; I call it "getting hit by a garbage truck." Most lesbians are fans. You can say my music sucks. At least you know who I am. We're on SNL! You're like 6'7" with the confidence of a 52-year-old. We're way more brat than you—brat stands for being really awesome together. Good day!

You turned 30! How was the party? I wasn't invited. Actually, you were invited. Last time I was on the show, you mentioned not being invited, but I didn't know you wanted to come. Who wouldn't want to be invited to a party? I didn't realize you liked me. Of course I like you! You've been on the show many times. I did invite you, but you didn't come. This time you invited me? Are you sure? Yes, ask Jonathan, your producer. I wasn't invited either. Why didn't I go? I don't know.

No, I don't think I'll leave the shape of the world to the men. We ain't doing that. And you got into Harvard? What, like it's hard to get in? And what is your name as a group? The Click. Okay, let's do it.

Questioning whether the speaker was kicked out of CPAC, the exchange goes: "And you were kicked out of CPAC. Right?" The reply: "I wasn't kicked out. Or you were disinvited? What what let's there was some kind of drama on Twitter." The other party says: "Don't think so. Tell me everything. There's no drama." The speaker then clarifies: "I, you know, like I said, I came out here I came out here to CPAC last year, had a great time. You know, met my hero, Ben Shapiro. I met my mentor and friend, Casa Dillon. And and so I just came out again this year."

You have three kids now, right? Yes, three boys and the youngest is a girl. Her name is Rose, inspired by Kate Winslet's character in Titanic. You named her after Titanic? It's Cassie's favorite movie. Oh wow, seriously? What's the boy's name, Shrek?

Can you picture Kamala doing this show? I think she might, but it seems unlikely now. If she did, I imagine it would be chaotic, with her possibly not fully engaged. My intention would be to have a genuine conversation rather than a formal interview. I want to connect with her as a person and understand her better. That’s what I hope to achieve by having her on the show.

Hello, Shawn! How are you? I'm great, thanks! I appreciate you introducing me to Twitter; it's been a lot of fun connecting with people. So, tell me about your birthday party—am I invited? Yes, you're definitely invited! It’ll start around 9:30 PM and go until about 3 AM. I hear your twins are almost 3 years old—are they spoiled? Absolutely! I just want to give them everything. Do you do housework at home? Sometimes, but I have a habit of dropping things on the floor. Your vodka line is doing well, right? Yes, Ciroc vodka sales are up significantly, and we have new flavors for the holidays, like coconut and red berry. Remember to drink responsibly!

I got kicked out of my boyfriend's house. Really? You too? Did it help you? No, I'm fine. I don't know why you told me that. Don't leave me now; come on.

Here's your DNA test. We sent it to the lab and got the results back immediately. Look at this: European, Siberian, East Asian. Wait a minute... 97.7% Jewish. Are you Jewish? Yes? You're in a room full of Jewish people. Are you scared? No? Welcome to Hollywood! I went to Katz Deli when I was in New York. It's really good. Look around the room - everyone here is Jewish. It's crazy, right? How do you feel about all this? I've always loved the world.

Speaker 0 expresses a desire to meet Jimmy Savile someday and suggests that if the person has a sister, she could be brought along to meet him. Speaker 0 notes they don’t have any sisters. Speaker 1 replies that he doesn’t usually meet fellas, but if Speaker 0 has a sister, that would be okay. Speaker 0 mentions a personal assistant named Marsha, whose job description includes greeting, meeting, and massaging anyone Speaker 0 demands she greet or meet, and notes that Marsha is very attractive. Speaker 1 says that’s a good start. Speaker 0 asks what kind of introduction or arrangement Speaker 1 would like. Speaker 1 answers that he would prefer Marsha to wear nothing. Speaker 0 confirms that he wants Marsha, the assistant, to meet Speaker 1 naked, and Speaker 1 says there’s nothing wrong with that. Speaker 0 adds that last time he spoke like this was with Father Christmas. Speaker 1 comments that he has not trusted Father Christmases in Debenhams or other stores in the past, and says a similar sentiment about stores. Speaker 0 suggests that Speaker 1 has always been thought of as a Father Christmas figure, someone who solves problems, and makes a comparison to Father Christmas with regard to dropping wages. Speaker 0 then thanks Speaker 1 for talking with him in the restaurant and asks whether Speaker 1 could pass on best wishes to his dinner companion and consider coming on the show again in the future. Speaker 1 responds vaguely with “Who knows?”

I think it would be cool if she had a Snoop Dogg tattoo on her shoulder. Julie, what do you think about that?

Someone hopes there's a reunion. They have not met Jen before, but recently hung out with Lisa and Courtney, along with Judd Apatow, for pizza. They haven't met some of the guys or Jen. The speaker suggests that they should meet Jen.

I just heard that Mitch is a friend of mine, despite our political disagreements. I plan to reach out to him later today.

We stay in touch, but not every day. Our bond from doing the show has created a tight relationship. Whenever we text or call, we know the other person will pick up and be there for us. Matthew is the only one who doesn't respond or reach out to me.

Hey there! Thanks for inviting us to our first backyard barbecue. We’ve never met our neighbors before. This is Clay. Hi, I’m Tiffany, and this is Steve. Welcome to our home! I know this one—go Dodgers! My gardener Javier calls me Caranito, which means he cares. We brought a quinoa kale salad with balsamic reduction. Jennifer Aniston ate this every day on the set of Friends. Oh, bless your heart! Let me find a place for this salad. What does that tell you?

Hey, good to see you! You look great. How's it going? Thanks for having your friend here. Thank you very much for this.

Bob, did you have a Bratz Summer? Well, I might have enjoyed some sausages while watching Shohei Otani. That sounds delicious! But what's your favorite Timothée Chalamet film? I'm partial to his portrayal of the Nissan Altima. Here comes Bruce Springsteen! I was born to watch this movie! Did you hit the hot bar? Absolutely! Arancini everywhere, small bites but big flavor! Do you have a favorite Chalamet movie? I like the Wonka film; I grew up in a chocolate factory town. Uh-oh, here comes Bono! You must try the tiramisu in a shot glass. Did you have a Bratz Summer? No, the heat from climate change prevented that. We need to act now! Lastly, rank Rory Gilmore's boyfriends from Gilmore Girls. Jess, Logan, Dean.

Have you ever met Saka? We've talked a lot about him. Have you ever met him? He is the worst.

I can't believe we're back here. Does anyone even remember what happened last time? Is something wrong? It's not working. No good? Nothing is happening. There we go! Oh my god! Oh boy, so good! This one's real. Yes! Yes! Yes! Lunch and a show. How about that? That *is* a sandwich! How about she's hot right now? Am I competing with the condiments?

I'm not sure if I'm the worst person, or even the killer. Have you ever met Tucker? We've talked a lot about this.

They recount a pizza evening at Clooney’s in Lake Yeah. Jennifer Aniston said George and she would love you to come over for pizza. They discuss who made the pizza; was Clooney making it, and whether his coffee after lunch was mentioned. The group notes the pizza was good, with five different kinds (or six). They say “pizza was better than Clooney,” and that everyone made a certain kind of pizza. Five different kinds were served at night, and Clooney was praised as excellent. Amaz was the winner. Jennifer Aniston invites everyone to a pizza party tonight at her house, saying, “I’ll see you there.”

Seth and I were just chilling at my house, talking about how some people hate on me because I'm successful. I hope to reach the top soon. My life is crazy and my girls are hot. One of them even asked for my autograph. I recommend living this kind of life, where the party never ends. If a girl wants my attention, she better be a 10. I don't mind as long as they don't play games when things get tough and we're drinking. I feel like I've taken over the world, just like Donald Trump.

Is there a kosher athlete you want to meet? Yeah, Max Fried. Why? Because he's Jewish, and I haven't met him yet. I thought you meant kosher athletes, so I was surprised at first.