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Their house looks good. I love podcasts. Oh, I'm so sorry! I wasn't looking. Gravity's Rainbow is my favorite book. I'm Charlie. I'm Ben. Would you ever watch where you're going? You charged into me like a rhino! It's November; shouldn't you be with the Halloween decorations? What are you listening to? A podcast on how to be less of a coward? You have something in your hair—oh, it's a rat. I thought I was unlucky in love. Hi, I had to draw you; I call it "getting hit by a garbage truck." Most lesbians are fans. You can say my music sucks. At least you know who I am. We're on SNL! You're like 6'7" with the confidence of a 52-year-old. We're way more brat than you—brat stands for being really awesome together. Good day!

You turned 30! How was the party? I wasn't invited. Actually, you were invited. Last time I was on the show, you mentioned not being invited, but I didn't know you wanted to come. Who wouldn't want to be invited to a party? I didn't realize you liked me. Of course I like you! You've been on the show many times. I did invite you, but you didn't come. This time you invited me? Are you sure? Yes, ask Jonathan, your producer. I wasn't invited either. Why didn't I go? I don't know.

I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

I only want you, Pookie. To get over a breakup, get under someone else. Clean this side well. What's one move in bed that pleases a man?

Speaker: Hello? Oh my goodness. Take off your pants. Can you not touch it? No, don't touch it.

I'm a teacher. My family teaches music too. I wanted to talk honestly with you. Did you send anything weird to Lily? Just a video. I have a strange fascination with garbage disposals since I was a kid. I find them fun. There was a message about living together with a garbage disposal in our house. That's new to me.

I got kicked out of my boyfriend's house. Really? You too? Did it help you? No, I'm fine. I don't know why you told me that. Don't leave me now; come on.

I'm just here for inspirational motivation. You don't see many black men from the hood who own an island. I have an island called Love Island. What was going through your head when we landed and had to float to another island? I thought I was going to war with you. What was your favorite time that I took you off the grid? When you go off the grid with me, you have to sleep for a week. Yeah, because it definitely gives us sleep.

Speaker 0 greets Mega and asks, 'Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt?' The speaker notes, 'The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.'

Are you going to cover the Diddy scandal in your stand-up routine? Have you thought about how to approach it? I probably won't. Why not? It's about family. If he's convicted, would you consider it then? No. So you think Diddy is completely off-limits? Yeah, that's right. Alright, thanks. How are you doing?

It's comedy Goldfish, dude. We're fucked. We're fucked, dude. This is horrible. All we've done is lobby for fucking black faced. This whole pod and nothing else, dude. But we're gonna keep it moving, man. Do you think okay. Let's let's start over. Okay. Do you think Erica Kirk had anything to do with her husband's death? Let's switch it up. Let's switch it up. And that's mouthwashing up. But, yeah, keep effing some. Dude, I love Listerine, bro. It's a fucking good stuff. That's a new Listerine green apple. Bro, you're funny, dude. I don't know if you can ask that question. Funny. Okay. I don't know. I'll talk about a lot of things, but I I I don't think I'll talk about Charlie Kirk and his assassination Okay. And the sensitive details around it. Oh, dude. I don't even wanna fucking talk about it. It's just on our list of stuff. So I'll keep it moving. Some some AI, you chat GBT what to ask Jake Paul, and then it told you this. It was like things What will go most viral? It said things Jay Fall could handle. And, yeah, one of them was frizz golf. One of them was, oh, the Tiger Woods DUI. That was kind of crazy.

There is an amino acid called lysine that can prevent the development of cold sores. In Australia, several health companies produce a product called Lipcine, which is essentially lysine. It has been effective in stopping cold sores from forming. If my husband feels a tingle, he takes about 4 Lipcine tablets and the cold sore doesn't develop. Cold sores are caused by the herpes virus. I have never had a cold sore, so even if my husband has one, I still kiss him without worrying about getting infected.

Speaker 0 expresses a desire to protect someone from experiencing hardships they've faced. Speaker 0 then states feeling violated. Speaker 1 compliments Speaker 0's scent and asks their age. Speaker 0 is 16, turning 17 in two weeks. Speaker 1 says they never smelled that good at 16. Speaker 0 asks if the other would rather be naked on stage during a song or drink blended worms. Speaker 0 says they have young fans and can't give a sex talk, noting they never received one. Speaker 0 asks why a 15-year-old boy would want a sex talk from them, expressing discomfort. Speaker 0 suggests discussing the album, noting the other person hasn't been calling or hanging out like before, and has tried contacting them through partners.

Sam, you've been quiet. Can you share something? My phone battery drains quickly, and it’s frustrating. That seems trivial. I felt my vote didn’t count on Tuesday. Is that about The Voice? I lost a family member recently, which is tough. I got locked out of my Tubi account, and my mom’s name is Tubi. That’s a grief gasm. I just had one, and my phone’s dying. Catherine, do you want to share? My dog died, and it hit me hard because I adopted him during a tough time. Samuel, let her speak. I’m sober, but I bought a bottle of booze last Saturday and can’t stop staring at it. Just let her talk. I have my own trauma; my wife exploded on Christmas Eve. That’s the most boring story ever.

When you turn 16, you can have this. And when you turn 18, you'll get a mansion. You smell great. How old are you? What music do you listen to? I feel violated. Can you say it again? You have nice lips. Can you give me the sex talk? Why are you involving me in this? It's a 15-year-old's dream. I have temporary custody of Usher for the next 48 hours. We're going crazy.

Pretty close. How are you doing? Oh, just shut up. You're all dressed up today. Thank you very much.

I'm wondering what you're up to with your music. I was hoping to vape and smoke without getting caught. What's going on with your hands? I hurt my hands while I was hiking.

Speaker 0: Hey, Mega. How bad does it hurt? The Jimmy Kimmel's back, but you guys can't get your person back.

I'm saying all the wrong things right now. Where's that eject button? It might be time. Am I okay?

Thank you! It's great to be here. I just recovered from the flu, which got me thinking about who might have given it to me. I suspect it was a shoeless cowboy I sat next to on a flight. On a different note, ladies, you’re struggling in the political arena. Maybe it’s time to rethink your approach—find a balance between professionalism and charm. The election dragged on forever, and it’s hard to believe Trump didn’t win earlier. His resilience is impressive, especially after getting shot and still acting fearless. I recently woke up at 3 AM to Shaquille O'Neal selling printer ink, which was surreal. It’s surprising he’s still working despite his wealth. We have a great show ahead, so stick around!

I enjoyed our time together. I hope you're not upset with me. What do you mean by that? We were going to do something, but it didn’t fit. What do you mean it didn’t fit? Couches don’t fit through doors sometimes. What are you talking about? I fit.

I can't believe we're back here. Does anyone even remember what happened last time? Is something wrong? It's not working. No good? Nothing is happening. There we go! Oh my god! Oh boy, so good! This one's real. Yes! Yes! Yes! Lunch and a show. How about that? That *is* a sandwich! How about she's hot right now? Am I competing with the condiments?

I squeak like a chirping grasshopper or a squeaky screen door. I want to be a backup girl. What's wrong with Justin's hair? We need a global movement. Men think we go from oral to anal, but I don't anymore. I think about Lisa and horses. Welcome back. Kader is spelled k h a d r. Omar Connery has more class than the entire cabinet. Thank you.

Hey, how are you? Good. Take care, okay? You're really covered up. I thought I had it bad, but you have it worse. Hey, do you need water or something?

Hello, Jane. I hear you have a new song for us. Yes! I'm a huge Sabrina Carpenter fan and will sing a song as her. So, you'll be doing a Sabrina Carpenter impression? No, I can't look or sound like her, but for this song, I am her. What’s it about? It addresses how people speculate about pop stars' sexuality. My new song, "When Will Even One Person Do That About Me?" highlights how I, as Sabrina, feel overlooked. For instance, when Taylor Swift sings about a crush, people assume she's gay, but I make out with Jenna Ortega, and no one questions it. I want the same intrigue and mystique. Does this relate to the Christmas special? Yes, the album is called "Fruitcake." I feel left out and just want people to think I might have secrets, even if I don’t.