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I really hope there's a reunion. Have you met Jen before? No, I haven't. But I was just hanging out with Lisa and Courtney. They invited me over for pizza, and Judd Apatow was there too. It was pretty cool. I haven't met some of the guys or Jen yet. You should definitely meet Jen!

You turned 30! How was the party? I wasn't invited. Actually, you were invited. Last time I was on the show, you mentioned not being invited, but I didn't know you wanted to come. Who wouldn't want to be invited to a party? I didn't realize you liked me. Of course I like you! You've been on the show many times. I did invite you, but you didn't come. This time you invited me? Are you sure? Yes, ask Jonathan, your producer. I wasn't invited either. Why didn't I go? I don't know.

The exchange centers on accusations of hyperbolic statements and the accuracy of quoted posts. Speaker 0 challenges Speaker 1's credibility, citing a series of posts and asking whether the statements were read correctly. - On 02/11/2026, Speaker 0 cites a Blueski post: “my words or your words, not mine. The democrats video telling service members to ignore illegal orders didn't go far enough. They should have also urged them to refuse unethical orders, whether illegal or not. There are many things deemed legal that are still obviously unethical, and everyone should hold themselves to this higher law,” and asks, “Did I read that correctly?” Speaker 1 confirms reading it and asks if Speaker 0 disagrees with it, questioning whether people should do unethical things in their capacity of [unknown context]. - On 12/31/2025, Speaker 0 references a post reading, “in front of god and country. … They referring to Republicans think they control their way into us accepting ethnic cleansing,” and asks, “Did I read that correctly?” Speaker 1 responds that it related to a DHS security post advocating a 100,000,000 deportations, stating that “A 100,000,000 deportations would be ethnic cleansing,” adding, “You would be True. One third of the country. So, yes, there are people within the Department of Homeland security.” Speaker 0 asks whether this is hyperbolic and requests more time. - On 02/05 (implied), Speaker 1 notes, “advocating a 100,000,000” but the sentence is cut off in the transcript. Speaker 0 comments, “reputations is … cleansing,” while continuing to engage in the discussion with the chair and audience; Speaker 0 asks for thirty more seconds. - On 03/02, Speaker 0 quotes Speaker 1: “if you rule against Trump's population purge agenda, no hyper permanently there, the nativists will name you, threaten you, and come after you. These judges are much braver than the ICE agents who hide behind masks while violating the constitution. They are much braver.” Speaker 1 clarifies, “They put their names on their rulings, and they stand behind their constitutional rulings. When I talk about population purge, I'm talking about the fact that they're trying to deport US born citizens, people born here. They are trying to deport them as well. So it's not a mass deportation agenda. It is also an agenda intended to reduce the population of The United States, including US born people.” - Speaker 0 responds, “Thank you.” Speaker 1 adds, “These are not hyperbolic statements. I appreciate you reading my account. Here's the good news.” The conversation escalates in tone as Speaker 0 interjects with disbelief, asking, “What planet … parachute him from?” Speaker 1 replies, “No. No.” Speaker 0 comments, “Hey, guys. You're you you You trigger my gag reflex,” and Speaker 1 closes with, “Mr. Bieber.”

You're all set for room 237. Enjoy your stay! I'm looking for the secret Hollywood Republican meeting. It's down the hall to your right. Hi, I'm Kira, new here to meet like-minded people. I have a black friend named Justin. Oh, okay. I also have a black friend. I'm Keith, and I love Kanye West. I took a hip hop class once. I'm Rick, and I saw Dave Chappelle last night. I know what you're trying to do; we can talk about anything else. I'll have a strawberry margarita. Isn't it crazy that LA wants to reinstate mask mandates? Yes, the pandemic is over. Did you take a selfie with me to prove there’s a black person here? No. I heard about this place from my conservative coworker. I love black people; I have a black friend named Justin. Oh, so you're their black friend? No, I just met them once. Hi, I'm Kira, and I have a gay friend. I'm not gay.

A couple of 17-year-olds spotted you on a plane and sent a note on a barf bag. Have you seen it? That's me! I remember this. Someone asked if I knew the person who sent the note because they mentioned I played Death on Family Guy. They wrote something like, "It's good to have Death on the plane." Oh, that’s not the best thing to say! Yeah, they got in trouble for it. That's probably what happened.

Get a rainbow! I'm like a guy. Angry Michael, I’ll call the cops. You won’t do anything. I just stepped on your jacket, Michael. What’s up with that? It’s crazy. What do you think of Michael Jackson, people? You look alike!

Hey, do you mind if I sit here? I'm Bug. What's your name? Sarah? Okay. Do you listen to Cavetown or watch Dream? No? What do you do? You do makeup? That's cool, me too. I could put some blush on you. Oh, you're already wearing blush. Not enough, though. It's been nice sitting with you. Maybe you can sit with me at lunch. Before you go, what are your pronouns? She/her? Okay. Well, I'm he/him/ze/air/air/bark/frogself/and fan. Catch you on the flips, Era.

I deserve to get what? You're wearing MAGA shoes in West Hollywood. Yeah, I am. It’s illegal to film someone in California. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, you dumb ugly... You’re filming a stranger? You hope I get what I deserve? What do I deserve? At least have the guts to say it. You seem very normal. What about Biden showering with his daughter? He’s the president, not running. I’m just excited to make you famous. It’s illegal to film people here. I don’t care. Then mind your own business.

"Girl, come on. Leave the shape of the world to the men? I don't think so." "We ain't getting no You got into Harvard long? What? Like it's hard?" "Sir, what is your name as a group? The click. Click or click? Click. Let's do it."

How are you doing? You can just leave. Jumping to name-calling already? That was the slowest sprint ever. Trump is 70; he doesn’t need to be chased. We need to chase out bad people. You probably couldn’t catch a tortoise. Trump reminds me of my family members with dementia. What about Biden? Biden reminds me of myself; he’s not demented. You think Biden can speak well? Yeah, he stutters but can form sentences. What about him falling on the stairs? I’ve fallen on stairs too. If I’m too drunk, I shouldn’t be president. I’m not running for president. Neither should Trump; he’s showing signs of dementia. What if he decides to nuke China? I don’t have the nuclear codes. That could lead to World War 3. No one on the Democrat side is threatening that; it’s Trump who does.

Are you going to cover the Diddy scandal in your stand-up routine? Have you thought about how to approach it? I probably won't. Why not? It's about family. If he's convicted, would you consider it then? No. So you think Diddy is completely off-limits? Yeah, that's right. Alright, thanks. How are you doing?

Want to go fishing tomorrow? I've got a colonoscopy! My party was a flop. The guests have arrived... or is this even a party? It's a cul-de-sac party! The invitations were spears (metaphorically, of course). Someone's using a leaf blower. My mower's a smoker – I spent a fortune on it! Fully custom. Plenty of Bud Lights. The party's hopping, but the HOA's already complaining. Bill, get off the boat!

Sam, you've been quiet. Can you share something? My phone battery drains quickly, and it’s frustrating. That seems trivial. I felt my vote didn’t count on Tuesday. Is that about The Voice? I lost a family member recently, which is tough. I got locked out of my Tubi account, and my mom’s name is Tubi. That’s a grief gasm. I just had one, and my phone’s dying. Catherine, do you want to share? My dog died, and it hit me hard because I adopted him during a tough time. Samuel, let her speak. I’m sober, but I bought a bottle of booze last Saturday and can’t stop staring at it. Just let her talk. I have my own trauma; my wife exploded on Christmas Eve. That’s the most boring story ever.

Hi! Oh, snap. I tend to win it. Yeah, I'm not coming back this way. I think we're in your car.

Pretty close. How are you doing? Oh, just shut up. You're all dressed up today. Thank you very much.

Hey there! Thanks for inviting us to our first backyard barbecue. We’ve never met our neighbors before. This is Clay. Hi, I’m Tiffany, and this is Steve. Welcome to our home! I know this one—go Dodgers! My gardener Javier calls me Caranito, which means he cares. We brought a quinoa kale salad with balsamic reduction. Jennifer Aniston ate this every day on the set of Friends. Oh, bless your heart! Let me find a place for this salad. What does that tell you?

Do that. You do that. It's not not fresh. No. So oh, what's your name? Barbie Bans. Barbie Bans.

Where are you from? I’m from DC. Oh, DC. I’m from Kansas. Welcome to Lancaster City! I already voted three weeks ago. Great! We’re trying to get Trump back in office. I see we’re on opposite sides. What do you think about Doug Emhoff sleeping with the nanny? I’m not going to comment on that. Have a great day! You too, enjoy Lancaster, and please don’t ruin it.

Bob, did you have a Bratz Summer? Well, I might have enjoyed some sausages while watching Shohei Otani. That sounds delicious! But what's your favorite Timothée Chalamet film? I'm partial to his portrayal of the Nissan Altima. Here comes Bruce Springsteen! I was born to watch this movie! Did you hit the hot bar? Absolutely! Arancini everywhere, small bites but big flavor! Do you have a favorite Chalamet movie? I like the Wonka film; I grew up in a chocolate factory town. Uh-oh, here comes Bono! You must try the tiramisu in a shot glass. Did you have a Bratz Summer? No, the heat from climate change prevented that. We need to act now! Lastly, rank Rory Gilmore's boyfriends from Gilmore Girls. Jess, Logan, Dean.

I call it the wheel. It rules! A bagel is better, though. This fork—I've got ten! We conduct business outside, like humans. This coffee is new...awful! I'm jittery. Sign here, Hancock! Gentlemen, have you lost your minds? People have the right to vote—even stupid ones! Edison, it stinks! You're wasting your time. You might as well put dishes in the shower. We're putting mail on the moon?! I can't even get tuna without celery! It's too small, it's full! I'm never wrong. George, I left my cane in there! That's an expensive cane!

I can't believe we're back here. Does anyone even remember what happened last time? Is something wrong? It's not working. No good? Nothing is happening. There we go! Oh my god! Oh boy, so good! This one's real. Yes! Yes! Yes! Lunch and a show. How about that? That *is* a sandwich! How about she's hot right now? Am I competing with the condiments?

Get on the ground! I'm a feminist, and I won't be caught. I'm tired and hot; don't taste me. My safe word is pineapple juice. Cross your ankles and bring them up; we're taking pictures. Oh, that's cute! Watch your hands; that's my lighter, but it doesn't work. Don't do drugs, kids. Those are my quarters—some are limited edition. And that's my flash drive; don’t look unless you want to see something inappropriate. Be careful with my wallet. And watch your fingers, buddy! No wonder you two are together; you’re into some weird stuff. What's your safe word?

If you're feeling down about Kamala Harris not winning the election, I'm actually relieved she didn't, especially since this is her hometown. Is Mr. Smith there? No, who's there? What have you been doing living here? I don't live here; it's too busy.

I'm just heading to the bathroom. What are you doing in the girl's bathroom? I'm a trans girl. But, you're not a girl. Oh, we're doing all of this now. Interesting. I've never heard of this before, and I don't know what to say. I'm sorry you feel that way. I pay a lot of money to feel safe in the bathroom. Me too. Excuse me. Weird. Do you think that's okay?