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At 29 years old, I walked into the Senate chamber and got arrested. It happened on a Saturday when I was visiting friends at Georgetown University. I was fascinated by the Senate and decided to check it out. There were no guards stopping me, so I walked in and found myself in the chamber. I even sat in the presiding officer's seat. But then a guy grabbed me and said I was under arrest.

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A person was questioned about their destination while standing near the curb. They became anxious and explained that they were transporting blank ballots to a satellite location approximately 7 miles away. When asked why the ballots were not in a container, the person admitted that it was their fifth trip of the day and they had been delivering them in this manner.

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I'm here washing dishes, I was demoted from the turkey line for giving too much gravy. It's an honor to meet you! I'm a huge fan of Tesla and SpaceX. It feels great to help the less fortunate. Helping people is important, especially after viewing Earth from the International Space Station, where I spent two months as a payload specialist. I'm an MIT-trained engineer. I really want you to adopt me. You're here on Thanksgiving, so you're probably a good person. Do you think you might ever get back out to space? We're always looking for engineers. Give me your email so we can stay in touch. Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie. Wanna share it with me? A partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie from a homeless shelter with Elon Musk? You bet I do!

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I pulled you over for going 70 in a 55. Do you have your license and registration? I was coming from church and my mom's cemetery. I want you to know that I'm a January 6th defendant waiting on a pardon and I can't afford this ticket. Also, I'm driving without a license right now. You're getting off with a warning for the speeding, but you're a habitual traffic violator. That means you're facing a felony for driving while suspended, so you're coming with me. I can't go to jail for this. It's a felony, so there's nothing I can do. I understand your circumstances, but you can't drive.

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I'm on vacation, but my house has been torn up by the Secret Service to make it secure. So I have nowhere to go except Delaware for one day. I'm not homeless, I just have one home. It's a beautiful home, but I'm here for the day because I can't call.

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I'm in Baytown, Texas, and this officer is checking my trailer. He just told me what I need to know about protecting my property here in Texas. According to the police here, you should carry a gun. If anyone tries to steal from your truck or trailer, you're within your rights to shoot them. In Texas, your truck is considered your home, and you're allowed to protect it and your belongings. If someone presents themselves as a threat, you can shoot them. Wish I had my gun with me right now.

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I saw people in Atlanta in a budget truck with their hands tied up. I decided to follow them until I could find help or authorities.

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I pulled you over for going 70 in a 55. Do you have your license and registration? I was coming from church and my mom's cemetery. I need to tell you I'm a January 6th defendant and can't afford any more trouble. I'm driving without a license because I'm waiting on a hardship license, and I moved back from Idaho due to my federal case and pending traffic violations. I had to move back to Indiana to qualify for the license. You're getting a verbal warning for speeding, but you're a habitual traffic violator, which means you're at a felony status for driving while suspended, so you have to come with me. It's a felony, so I have no leeway. I understand your circumstances, but you can't drive. Turn around and put your hands behind your back.

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Burning Man 2023 got rained out, which reminds me of something. I wonder why the fastest teams are seen in the clouds. Airplanes have flown over with smoke preceding cars, but the media doesn't report it. Someone claims that unknown people are seeding the clouds for hours each day. There are many things happening with these elements, like sticky fun and going down. If we think hard, maybe we can stop the rain.

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I joined the army to make my grandma proud, but I ended up smuggling two people for quick cash. I drove to a hotel to pick them up, armed only with pepper spray and a knife. I brought snacks to avoid trouble. The sheriff gave me a pocket bible, which made me reflect on my actions. I realized I should earn money honestly and help my family the right way. My faith in God has grown, and I see this experience as a message to change my ways.

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Okay, everyone. So there's James Comey, right? The fired FBI director, some call him a deep state hero. I'm incredibly excited to be here, though I'm not sure why everyone else isn't as excited as I am. They're screening questions here. Who killed Epstein? My heart is pounding! It's an honor to see the disgraced and fired FBI director, James Comey, in person. A library staff member asked me to leave, but Comey can stay, right? He didn't disrupt the library, but he disrupted the whole country, a presidential election, and a presidential term! Still, my heart is fluttering that I got to see James Comey.

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In late 2006, my car stalled in LA, but luckily I coasted off to safety. The mechanic later told me that if I had started the car, it would have exploded and I wouldn't have survived. Since then, I've been living in fear, trying to stay calm and avoid gaining too much knowledge, as it seems dangerous with someone named Angel around. Additionally, my car was firebombed, supposedly by people hired by a person named Mr. Nygaard to silence me.

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I'm doing well, thanks. I was in the Marines, 3rd Battalion, 6th Marines, from '96 to 2000. Today, I was on the train after class in Brooklyn when a man entered, acting erratically and threatening everyone. I asked someone to hold my phone and tried to restrain him as he rolled around. He seemed intoxicated or high. I didn't want to hurt him, just de-escalate the situation. I held him until two other guys helped me. We kept him down until the police arrived. He was still moving but not saying much when they got there. People on the train thanked me for intervening. I felt it was necessary to protect others from his threats.

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This is what I recovered. I had my canopy up, and the guy asked, "Can I sign the petition?" I handed him the deck, and he just took off. "Off? You wouldn't have to grab someone's sign and ripped it up." We just came back from lunch. "Well, you're being detained right now. That's all I figure out. Because you match description." "Skyler, right now, you're under arrest." "I think what what we'll do is we'll kinda put on a show." "So I don't do Washington ticket to the jail." "Social Security's reported." "What happened? He was out front being pretty inflammatory." "Your social is being released." "He was just identified for something, and that was it." "Yeah. Oh, great." "That's your first time getting tough." "So you'll receive something in the mail."

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Hi! Oh, snap. I tend to win it. Yeah, I'm not coming back this way. I think we're in your car.

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I'm wondering what you're up to with your music. I was hoping to vape and smoke without getting caught. What's going on with your hands? I hurt my hands while I was hiking.

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I'm just flying around in a plane I shouldn't be on. Yeah, I hijacked it. I'm checking out Rainier and having a blast; I’ve played video games, so I know a bit about flying. The weather's nice, and I might check out the Olympics too. I realize this could lead to serious consequences, and I apologize to my loved ones. I’m just a broken guy with some issues. I’m curious if I can do a barrel roll. I’m thinking about landing safely, but I might just go for a wild maneuver instead. I feel like something might be wrong with the plane now.

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I need a lawyer, but the police won't let me have one. I don't know what's going on. I work in that building. Were you there too? Yes, because I work there. They're arresting me because I live in Missouri. I'm just a janitor, not the president.

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I'm from Israel and had a tough past, including jail. I sold drugs and trafficked Russian women while in the IDF. I got kicked out, but stopped trafficking. The other person was shocked by my actions.

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A man in a suit got into my pickup truck and asked about my age and birth month. He showed me a dagger he carries for evil spirits. He asked to be dropped off at a village in Africa. When he left the car, his demeanor changed, and he blessed me, saying, "May God bless you many times this day." I didn't think much of it at the time.

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A driver is pulled over for going 70 in a 65 mph zone. The driver says he is from Maryland but works in San Luis, Missouri. He states his license is expired because he is waiting for immigration papers. The officer asks where they are coming from, and the driver says San Luis, where he works in construction doing painting and drywall. He mentions a future project in Nisquiel. The officer asks about insurance, which the driver has trouble locating. The officer notes the vehicle has four rows of seats, which he finds unusual, suspecting an extra row was added to transport people for money, possibly to Maryland.

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Good morning. Trooper Jones with the state patrol. I clocked you going 72 in a 55. Any reason for your speed? No, sir. Do you have your license? Yes, sir. Where are you headed? Back to Albany. Is the truck registered in your name? Yes. Hang tight for a moment. I'll issue a citation for speeding. Your court date is on the ticket. If you prefer not to go to court, you can call the number on the ticket to handle it over the phone. Please sign here; it just acknowledges you received this copy and the instructions. What does your tag mean? It means "fire" in Spanish. Alright, please slow down. Thank you. You too, take care.

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I became friends with the senior guys in Amtrak, especially Angelo. He once grabbed my cheek and shirt, scaring me. He told me that he had read in the newspaper about my extensive travel as vice president, covering 1,000,000 miles. But he casually mentioned that he had ridden 1,000,000,327 miles himself.

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I used to live in Las Vegas and had a neighbor, a drunk ex-military guy, who claimed to have worked at Area 51. One night during a power outage, he pointed out Orion's belt and said the good aliens lived on one star while the bad aliens lived on another. He described the good aliens as small, gray beings and the bad ones as tall, brown, and smelly. When I asked how UFOs traveled, he said they ran on electricity gathered in space and could open a void to move quickly, almost like falling into themselves. I was skeptical but intrigued. I once saw something in the Mojave Desert that moved much faster than a plane, making me wonder about UFOs. If this is true and I’ve revealed government secrets, I hope they don’t come after me.

Armchair Expert

Armchair Anonymous: Arrested | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
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Arrests aren7t distant headlines here; they unfold as chaotic late nights. Jackie, a teen from just outside Toronto, recalls a 2008 night after an all-night party. The minivan cab demanded $200 cash and threatened to drive them to the police for underage drinking. With little money, they begged to be let off, but the doors were locked and the ride continued. At a red light, Jackie and her friends fled the vehicle; she was arrested and questioned for hours as her parents were called in. The driver later claimed threats and a $1,000 theft; the others faced court, while Jackie was released without charges. David from Washington State recounts a 1998 incident that began as a prank and ended in a police stop. Driving with a friend, they taunted a tailgater and retrieved a toy cap pistol. They ended up at Future Shop, where staff alerted police. Officers surrounded them with guns drawn, forced them out, and searched the truck. A sergeant lectured them about wasting resources, and they were released with an agreement that authorities would follow up. Years later, a newspaper clipping would recount the 'two teen pranks.' Laura, visiting USC in the South after college, shares a party-night story from South Carolina. A gram of weed tucked in a satin purse led to immediate arrest as cops swept the driveway after a noise complaint. She was booked downtown, separated in a holding cell, and struggled with hunger and fear. A jail staffer allegedly stole her debit card information, later refunded by the bank, and she faced court-imposed community service before leaving the state. Dan and Sarah, a Utah couple, deliver one of the episode's most improbable chapters. On their wedding morning, Dan is arrested for absconding from probation tied to marijuana possession. A sheriff serves as his best man, arranging a brief release to allow the ceremony, then Dan must return to finish the night in jail. Sarah arrives at the venue thinking he would be there; she learns he7s in custody. They marry anyway, with the sheriff as witness, and Dan completes his sentence later. A delayed honeymoon follows, and the memory endures. Despite the chaos, the couple ultimately weathered the consequences, with Dan serving portions of his sentence over time and the wedding story becoming a storied, joint memory.
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