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Speaker 1 is doing everything to ensure "he" does not win. The speaker questions if mispronouncing names like "Kamala" is similar to the "Barack Hussein" situation. Black Jeopardy will be played, but "the brothers" don't want fried chicken from Roy Rogers as a prize because they "get enough fried chicken." The speaker says, "Ain't that right, you smelly," then claims they didn't write that. They mention "The honorable Clarence Thomas Boongaboomga." The speaker states that black people are against them because they say that they're not a real black man, and that they're the one who's gonna get lynched. They claim "we're gonna be in trouble with the n, double a, n, p, the ECOC, and EIEI." The speaker then says they just like to smoke reefer.

Don't tell us if you voted for Trump. Just kidding... or am I? I'm just saying the church is a safe space because I will unalive you. When I went down to Austin with some other drag queens to protest Greg Abbott, I was disappointed he wouldn't stand up and fight me. Honestly, I think the easiest thing to do with the money we raise is take away his wheelchair ramps so he can't access the floor.

I'm not going to hold back any longer, it's time the truth comes out about certain celebrities. Tom Hanks is a pedophile, and at the top levels of wealth and power, these people are sick and psycho. If more folks went to church, we wouldn't be in this mess we're in now. I agree with you. I like to shake your hand, sir. Maybe I'll start a show for you to come on, and we'll call it White Jeopardy. Spoiler alert, season two is on the way. In the end, he obviously didn't kill himself, just like Jeffrey Epstein. I know he's your friend, but I don't care. You had to make your own way here in your own plane, didn't you?

The speaker begins by making offensive racial remarks and claims that the jokes were written by Whoopi Goldberg. They proceed to make more offensive comments and insults towards others. The speaker is confronted about their language, but continues with their offensive remarks. The transcript abruptly ends.

Speaker 0: Let's pray for the poor so they don't turn into thieves. Thank you very much, thank you very much, very kind. Speaker 1: I'm not sure if we're on air. Yes, yes, someone is listening. Sorry for the messiness.

Thank you! It feels a bit strange to be back here hosting, especially since I used to do the weekend update. A year and a half ago, I had a disagreement with NBC and was fired for not being funny. Normally, that would lead to a lawsuit, but since it’s a comedy show, they had the upper hand. Now, just a year and a half later, they’ve invited me back to host. I wondered how I went from being deemed not funny to hosting. It hit me that I haven’t gotten funnier; the show has just gotten worse. So, to recap: I'm still not funny, but the show is even worse. We have a bad show for you tonight with Doctor Dre, Snoop Dogg, and Eminem.

Please pray for the poor so that they don't turn into thieves. Thank you very much, thank you very much, very kind. I don't know if we're live. Yes, yes, you're on the air, someone is listening. Sorry for the messiness.

Speaker 0: What the do I have to do in this council in order to get respect as a black woman? I'm not afraid of anybody here. When I make a mistake, I will be clear. I don't hate you as a white woman. I don't hate you as a white man. I am sick and tired of this body so stupidly racially divided, so afraid, so depraved. People with no faith because they are afraid of their losing their advancement. They're afraid of bargaining. They're afraid of leveraging. These people have, oh my god. I can't even call you cowards because desperation deserves mercy. Cancer to redistricting. Fine. We give it to a white woman. Can we all get along? Can we get together? Can we love each other now? Can we make sure that black and brown babies don't die? Can we make sure that cops don't kill before people are proven innocent? Can we do that? No. No. No. No. Because this body crucifies you first because of allegations. This is not a court. You don't get to crucify people before they're proven guilty. They're innocent until proven guilty. Amen. Now after this, I will look forward to working with you because I have stamina. I believe, as Baldwin said, what you do not what you say. Your votes here sometimes are racist. You move sometimes in a way that hurts my people. Speaker 1: Yes. Say that. Speaker 0: And then when I get up to stand up and talk, oh, all she talks about is black stuff. Speaker 1: Yes. You should. Good. Speaker 0: I am here to represent every single black woman and man that suffers in the community. God has my back. Speaker 1: You got your Speaker 0: am not afraid to not have political asylum or any type of affiliations or connections. I came here, I fear none, no man, but my Lord. Amen. I came here to serve people. I came here to love. I came here to grow. But people talk about this racial equity thing. It's all fake. Speaker 1: Thank you. And Speaker 0: you do politics and you hurt each other. And yet, here I am, five foot tall African woman from the projects. And I am here to tell you, if the voters don't vote me back Speaker 1: We are get votes back.

Speaker 0: Michael and I are not easily scared, except when Michelle is angry. Speaker 1: They fooled the country and the world. Speaker 0: They had us all fooled. Speaker 1: Will we see the first gay or woman president? Let's not jump to conclusions. Speaker 0: Michelle is a transgender. We all know.

"Girl, come on. Leave the shape of the world to the men? I don't think so." "We ain't getting no You got into Harvard long? What? Like it's hard?" "Sir, what is your name as a group? The click. Click or click? Click. Let's do it."

Hey Hollywood, you've been infiltrated by the devil, but are you ready to be infiltrated by the ghost?

Can't come in. Here’s the ticket. Why not? That’s what I was told. This is day one of the Tribeca Film Festival. I’m passing out flyers about Acorn, stating the investigation is real. I exposed facts about Acorn breaking the law, and they’re making a movie about it. Some people think I’m despicable. Did you know the New York Times confirmed the transcripts match the audio? You’re hurting America. I’m James O’Keefe, and I’m in the Acorn movie. You’re a convicted felon. Actually, I’ve never been convicted of that felony. You’re a racist. No, I’m not. People are angry at the truth. We’ll be back tomorrow to expose it.

Speaker 0: We already have a n-word mayor. We don't need any more n-word big shots. Speaker 1: Poor kids are just as bright and tall as white kids. Speaker 0: The first mainstream African American was clean and nice. Speaker 1: If you have a problem figuring out whether you're premier Trump and you ain't black. Speaker 0: A Black woman helped me stay sequestered by stocking shelves. Speaker 0: Our community is as diverse as the Bronx, Miami, and San Antonio. Speaker 1: The Latino community is incredibly diverse, unlike the African American community. Speaker 1: Cancel it, Miguel. That's how you play.

I swiped the EBT. It said decline. Girl, I ain't paying no cash. Hell no. You ever been in a situation like this with a bonnet wearing Lafonda? You're not racist. You're just exhausted. That's what my doctor prescribed me, Civilize. Not to make it better, just so I could keep my mouth shut and walk away. With Civilize, you don't hear the ignorance. You don't feel the heat. You just move forward. Thanks to CIVILIZE. I don't even hear it anymore.

Speaker 0: Oppose white supremacists. Don't single out the press. Speaker 1: We already have a black mayor. No need for more black big shots. Speaker 0: Determine if you support Trump, you're not black. Can't go to a 711 without an Indian accent. Speaker 2: We used to joke about that, but he was a friend, mentor, and a great guy.

Great teacher. Yes. What is a woman? Woman is a social construct that we've agreed upon. So I wanna thank you for proving a great point. What? You are why we should eliminate the Department of Education. Thank you very much. I could tell you're not married. Mhmm. Yeah. You're so scared to debate me. Actually, I'm not scared. You keep interrupting me. Every time I actually try to actually explain my point and have a reasonable conversation with you, you cut me off. Statistics? Where can you show me that at? Seventy percent of offenders were African Americans. I know you're you're obviously very anti trans. No. I'm pro reality.

Thank you! It's great to be here. I just recovered from the flu, which got me thinking about who might have given it to me. I suspect it was a shoeless cowboy I sat next to on a flight. On a different note, ladies, you’re struggling in the political arena. Maybe it’s time to rethink your approach—find a balance between professionalism and charm. The election dragged on forever, and it’s hard to believe Trump didn’t win earlier. His resilience is impressive, especially after getting shot and still acting fearless. I recently woke up at 3 AM to Shaquille O'Neal selling printer ink, which was surreal. It’s surprising he’s still working despite his wealth. We have a great show ahead, so stick around!

I can't believe you think I'm white. You don't know me. Find this guy for me after the show. I could end this show right now and do something else.

"You've been intrusive into people's personal lives." "You're confused. You think I'm on trial." "These people are on trial for trying to steal an election in 2020." "I'm not on trial." "Here's the next one that shows you can see republican is written there." "Republicans written there." "This is, ballot 61." "This is ballot number two." "The batch number was it 5162? Scanner 5162." "Duplicate ballots. The entire batch is scanned several times." "We are at a time in history, people." "We are at a time in history when you can no longer sit back and just let other folks do." "You cannot expect black women to be perfect and save the world." "The Lord is completing us." "We need your prayers. We need to be allowed to stumble. We need grace." "Please find a way to do your extraordinary God given assignment." "Yes. And make this community and the world a better place for all of his people."

Speaking of church, if more folks went, we wouldn't be in this mess. I agree with you. It's just a handshake. You're welcome to Black Jeopardy. Thank you, my brother. Maybe I'll start a show for you to come on, and we'll call it what jeopardy? No, we don't need it.

It's Christmas, and we have a tradition of sharing jokes live on air that we haven't seen before. I’m concerned about reading potentially offensive jokes, so I’ll try to navigate that carefully. The first joke touches on Kamala Harris's support for reparations, humorously suggesting that white people deserve their money back for runaway slaves. Another joke discusses how women are more likely to orgasm when in tune with their bodies. There’s a playful jab at Scarlett Johansson for her 40th birthday and a joke about having a child together. The segment continues with various humorous remarks, including a joke about Costco removing roast beef sandwiches. In closing, we wish everyone a good night.

I think we should remove the homicide from the White House for a fresh start, we don't want any more murderers. Next question. Who are the murderers? Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy. We're not making accusations without proof. That's too far, let's move on. This is not my week. Do you know where you heard that? We don't need this. I don't want to hear it, this isn't the place for accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. This is a live show. I thought it was a matter of record. You won't be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Manslaughter! Let's talk football.

I think we should get the homicide out of the White House and get a fresh start, because we don't want any more murderers. Clinton murdered a guy. That's going a little too far. This is not the place to make those accusations, and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear that? Maybe George or Bill Clinton would be your hero. His career is over after this. Anyway, who cares? We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased, and I thought it was untrue about it.

The speaker is participating in a game show called "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" and is asked what they would say to Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney. They respond with offensive remarks and express their dislike for Disney Plus. They request to use a lifeline and call Bob Iger. The host contacts Bob Iger, who is surprised to hear from them. The speaker informs Bob that they don't actually need his help and confidently states that they will win the $1,000,000 prize. The transcript abruptly ends.

I think we should get the homicide out of the White House, we don't want any more murderers. Let's just go on to the next question. You're not talking about losing accusations. That's a little too far, let's just go on to the next question. This is not the place to make those accusations and you're supposed to be funny. I thought it was a matter of record. You will not be invited back if you don't shut up. Let's talk football. Where did you ever hear the word, bonus raise, he's my hero, you know, just like you. There's no stopping you, is there? His career is over after this. We're on the millionaire today. People always told me Hollywood was incredibly liberal and biased and I thought it was untrue about it. You have 10 sons, you're not allowed to tell anything like that. He doesn't answer anything anyway. He's on the millionaire tonight.