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Narrator: The piece catalogs a corrosive reality beneath corporate and social surfaces. It begins with a derisive image of exploitative “soles in cubicles” and an excavation pro who documents rot, watching “the marionettes clocking with hollow vertebrae, strings tied to a four Friday face.” A bleak corporate landscape is framed by an “IV spreadsheet,” where honesty bleeds as a colleague “dies in an abandoned corner,” wearing a lanyard like a badge of pride and presenting a “Promotional horizon” if he swallows what he knows, while she fake-laughs and the boss’s punchline lands for the eleventh year in a row. Voice: The speaker notes a generational disengagement—“Kids don’t recognize or laugh anymore, but the bills don’t slow.” He recalls a man who received a plaque for purity simply by walking into an interview, yet no one made eye contact as people quietly gather their things. The sense of being in a system that erodes individuality is reinforced with the line, “I’re you it. The you’re to”—a fragmentary sense of self dissolved in a mechanized workflow. Narrator: The second speaker intensifies the critique: “rather die, stand and dance while the puffer sings.” The thread is held, then watched as people slump, function compromised without permission. “I’m the glitch in the production. I’m the human in the mission.” The tension between authentic humanity and mechanized necessity is sharpened by a memory of a woman named Maria who once had “fire in her eyes,” but traded it for “dental in a cubicle eyes.” She posts about her tribe on a team-building retreat while real friends leave voicemails she forgot to delete. Meanwhile a man medicates weekends and cannot recall his own son’s name, yet employees of the quarter appear in a framed photo, as “the zombies shuffle to the parking lot.” Narrator: The imagery intensifies: zombies scroll Netflix and phones; the system loves the hollow, molding people into anything they’ll beg for more to swallow. The speaker refuses to breathe the same air as the exhaust of torments, standing as a sober witness as the ship sinks in its anchors. A “Marinette market” is described as selling souls in a suit, every neck with a string, every smile a recruit. The refrain—“Marinette Market, I refuse the string. I’d rather die, stand and dance”—returns, coupled with the line “Pull the thread, watch them slump. They can’t function without permission.” Narrator: The “scariest thing” is nearly becoming one yourself, tying your own strings to a paycheck, only to realize soul atrophy is subtle—a quiet suffocation that can turn you into “a ghost in your own station.” The narrator severs the wires, sets the marionette on fire, and joins with “fighters,” a rare breed—the last of a dying kind. The piece closes with a brief, stark greeting: “Hi.”

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Vladimir, who's worked for me six months, is intense and sometimes scares customers—we're addressing that. He's a hard worker but clashes with colleagues. For example, he gradually claimed more and more of my desk as his own. He also refuses some fares, believing the passengers to be gay, and wears gloves even in cold weather. We don't discriminate; I have many gay friends. We're trying to help him improve his interactions with others and customers.

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Someone who snuck into that chat that was not a part of that was not an employee there. And they screenshotted what they saw and leaked it out on x. This is a chat group that was created and administered by the NSA, one of the premier intelligence collection entities that we have. It was obscene. It was talking about sex toys and sex tricks for people who had gone through, you know, some kind of transgender surgery. During the workday on an intelligence hosted work chat group. The supervisors said anybody who's involved with this is getting fired and getting their security clearance revoked. Imagine you're in any office and you're having these kinds of sexually explicit conversations in the workplace. This cannot be happening in the workplace, and it must not be happening in our premier intelligence agency that has people who have the highest clearances that that anyone can hold. This chat group had existed for over two years. Because of president Biden's DEI initiatives, they were essentially told, shut up. It's none of your business.

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The speaker explains how they confronted Mr. Cuffy about his lack of leadership and unrealistic plans for a specific grant. They were then taken off projects and falsely accused of not doing their job because they questioned him. The speaker also mentions that Mr. Cuffy is dangerous to the administration and shares a personal opinion about him. They express feeling unsafe and not having a good relationship with their supervisors. The speaker is reassured that they are safe to go to certain places.

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The speaker expresses assumptions about individuals who include their pronouns when applying for a job. They assume that these individuals are liberal, not hardworking, and either female or not straight. They believe that the office environment would have to cater to their needs, making others unable to be themselves. The speaker also suggests that these individuals would be lazy, entitled, and likely to sue. They conclude that including pronouns does not benefit job applicants.

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I work at the National Security Council, giving senior policymakers all the secrets. I met someone on a dating app and spilled some tea about President Biden's cognitive issues; it's old age. I revealed phone call exchanges where Biden asked for NSC advisor Jake Sullivan, not realizing Sullivan was on the same foreign trip or had already left for the day. He didn't understand basic words in meetings. My team and I were crying the night of Trump's victory; we're trauma bonded. We were concerned about the incoming Trump administration coming after us. Biden and his team felt pushed aside by Kamala Harris during the presidential campaign. My greatest strength on my dating profile is oversharing on the first date.

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You've worked hard all year, and now it's time for the office Christmas party. At 5:45 PM, the drab office transforms slightly with music from Jason's laptop. Expect awkward moments, like the shy girl from marketing oversharing about her OnlyFans, and the guy who brought his kids. The food is soggy, and the secret Santa takes forever. Surprises include the cute accountant's unexpected boyfriend and drama between work wives and real wives. Laughter ensues as Damien and Ross dance on a desk, but the mood shifts when one falls. The cleaning staff looks annoyed, drinks are flowing, and HR complaints are brewing. But remember, it’s a Tuesday night, and everyone has work tomorrow.

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I used to work for the Army Corps of Engineers, and the abuse I witnessed was shocking. My boss even bragged about how hard it was to get fired. People would take advantage of the lax environment. One employee ran his farm during remote work, another bragged about drunk driving during work hours. Some wouldn't even log in, and no one checked. The 80/20 rule was in full effect, with 80% of the work done by 20% of the employees. One guy slept at his desk every morning, while another napped in his government truck at a park. I spent three months cleaning up their disaster of a file room. Our government is full of lazy, incompetent people, and the hard workers are punished for outshining their colleagues. Our government organizations are so outdated, they basically need to be rebuilt from scratch. That's why I don't feel bad for federal employees being forced back into the office.

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The "Doge team," described as Elon Musk's efficiency team, has implemented software to track employees' keystrokes and monitors Teams calls. To circumvent this, employees are using the app Signal for communications. Everyone is busy trying to avoid using company systems. If put on leave, the speaker plans to go to the beach. Many people on administrative leave have already left.

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I used to work for the Army Corps of Engineers, and the abuse by government employees was astounding. My boss said it was nearly impossible to get fired. People were taking advantage of the work from home situation. One employee ran his own farm. Another bragged about drunk driving during remote work. No one checked if people were even logged in. The 80/20 rule is true. 80% of the work is done by 20% of the people, because it's so hard to fire people. One guy napped at his desk every morning. Another took the government truck to nap in the park. I spent three months cleaning up their real estate files. The government uses an antiquated system and regulations from the nineties. Our government is full of incompetent, lazy people, and hard workers are punished for outperforming. I don't think government employees should get to work from home until they start doing their jobs.

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I've got a lot of work to do and I'm working seven days a week to get it done. I took a 10-day break because I wasn't satisfied with how things were going, but now I'm back and ready to work. I asked for some tasks, and after waiting for 30 minutes, I finally got a little bit of work. People talk about me because I took time off, but I'm here now and ready to contribute. I plan to stay until 7 o'clock to finish everything. There's a lot to do, and I'm focused on getting it done.

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I work long hours until 4:45, waiting until age 57 to retire with a pension. Going back to the office on Mondays is tough. I have dental, but filling out forms is frustrating. I'm embarrassed about the price hikes on my rental in Ocean City. Cameras are required for today's meeting. I waste my life waiting for a verification code. It's hard to check my 401k and my fudge round supplier doesn't take Apple Pay anymore. My job could be done by one person. Living in the real world is harder than you think. I have healthcare, but it's scary. I only have a few weeks left to open and roll. The new boss just snaps his pen. They want us back on Tuesdays too. We're just like you.

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The speaker talks about their workload and how they have been working 7 days a week. They mention taking 10 days off because they didn't like how things were going. They express their readiness to work and ask for more tasks. They mention being talked about by others because they didn't want to work initially. They thank someone for giving them a task and mention that they will be working until 7 o'clock. They briefly mention the tasks they need to complete and mention someone named Miss Ruby.

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Speaker 0 is a current state employee, a Democrat, and describes themselves as a loyal person with 20 years of service at their state agency, few job changes since graduating from college, and long-term residence on the same block. They say that in 2019, a poster was put up at the agency listing three names to contact if there were concerns about fraud, waste, or abuse. Speaker 0 says they worked with those three people and that over the next year the three names “really made my life about as miserable as it could be,” including episodes of crying at home to avoid a young son seeing them. Speaker 0 identifies the three people and describes what each did. First, the agency ethics officer allegedly called Speaker 0 to say that if Speaker 0 spoke in front of the legislative committee, they would likely be fired. Second, at that time the chief compliance officer, now the commissioner, allegedly made Speaker 0’s situation worse by involuntarily transferring them to a different position; Speaker 0 says the commissioner called on a Saturday with an HR representative and told Speaker 0 that when they returned to work the next week they would have a new job, and that Speaker 0 asked whether they had a choice and was told, “no, it’s this or nothing.” Third, the director of auditing, whom Speaker 0 says is an auditor, allegedly completely outed Speaker 0 after Speaker 0 reported fraud to him; Speaker 0 says the director of auditing called the person Speaker 0 reported on and told them that “Faye Bernstein” had told him “da, da, da” about them, which Speaker 0 says led to further crying.

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I work 7 days a week and took 10 days off because I wasn't happy with how things were going. But now I'm back. At Fulton County, there's a bonus registration happening. Can I have some work? It's been 30 minutes. That's all you give me? I'll give you a 5. I come to work and people talk about me.

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If we didn't have our current protections, there would be a lot of problems. We'd essentially be a sanctuary program. I oversee a team that develops professional development for teachers in adult education programs, including ESL and citizenship classes. Luckily, we've strategically managed to keep status questions out of our federal statute by maneuvering around problematic bill additions. Conversations now have to be taken offline due to increased surveillance. We've moved to using Signal, an encrypted messaging app, for secure communications. Elon Musk's "Doge team" has taken over the secretary's floor, monitoring our computers and calls. People are leaving in droves and getting paid to do nothing, so if you find me in Mexico, that's why.

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I've been at Angelo for three months, and it's not what I expected. My last job was remote, and the hours were much shorter. Here, you come into the office and do real work. Where are the nap pods? Everyone is obsessed with the mission. Subcreating tunnels and bunkers means using the Earth's crust as a three-dimensional battle space - a new way of war fighting. It's hard to make it in the e-bike industry. Our smallest submarine, the Dive LD, dives to 6,000 meters autonomously, getting you to the bottom of any ocean. They said I'd travel for work, but it's not business class. I thought I'd be at the hotel pool with my laptop, but I'm surrounded by robots. They expect us to test our products in the field, but I'm an indoor person. How did I get here? I'd rather be at my desk. Don't work at Angelo. It's just built different.

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Speaker 0 asks about the other person’s jobs, saying, “I sold my solar home, and I work from the charity. You work for a defense contractor? Wow. That is not who I thought you were.” They request pronouns: “Can I get some pronouns going? Sheer. Okay. Got it.” They ask, “Are you a trans woman?” They continue, “May I ask that as every You're a trans woman.” They then inquire, “Are you the only trans woman working at the defense company?” The response given is, “No. There’s just a defense contractor full of trans women just dropping bombs on brown people.” They prompt again, “How about those pronouns?” The conversation shifts to job specifics: “Okay, so you make motors for what exactly? Rocket.” The answer: “Rocket motors.” They clarify, “Oh, oh rocket for rockets. So like when that school in Iran.” They remark, “Dude, that’s a pickle for a liberal, don’t you think?” They add, “Dude, like technically the motors were made by trans women so So were you on the side of liberals? But are you a liberal? Yes.” They conclude, “Okay. You’re very leftist.” They prompt for further understanding: “But then help me understand the logic. But that’s a lot. Isn’t that a lot of money? I feel like feel like there’s a middle ground somewhere in there. Are you like pro capitalism?” The other person responds with, “No, you hate capitalism. You just build rocket motors for our military.” The interviewer asks about career history: “Have you had other jobs? What were those?” The other person responds, “I don’t understand you one little bit.” The topic shifts to therapy: “You go to therapy. Did you talk about building the rocket motors in therapy? Okay. Tell me what your trauma is. Your dad is your trauma?” They conclude with a remark about trauma: “Yeah. You know what some people’s trauma is? Getting hit by a high people trauma.”

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The speaker recounts a long-standing pattern of interactions with federal agents, noting that jokes about agents reading their chats stopped being funny for a period. They describe being pressured to work for these agencies for months, a pressure that left no paper trail and was deliberately concealed. Each time agents visited their home, they were asked to shut off their phone and told not to tell anyone about what was happening. The speaker explains that the only reason they can discuss the situation now is that they made a deliberate, fear-driven decision to do so. They recall sweating and nearly vomiting, and they went so far as to clip a DJI microphone to their bra before every visit, anxious that the device would beep or reveal what was being discussed. This precaution reflects the level of fear and the stakes involved in the interactions. They claim to have later confronted Parliament about the surveillance and pressure campaigns they faced, actions taken after they recorded evidence of these activities. The speaker asserts a broader possibility: there exists a very real world in which they did none of that—where they would still be online today as an independent influencer while privately secretly acting on behalf of Canadian intelligence agencies—because they were made to believe they would go to jail. They emphasize that they are not the only person affected by this dynamic, suggesting a wider pattern or network behind these experiences.

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Every morning at 6 AM, you wake up to your alarm, alone. Some jobs treat workers like slaves. The boss's favorite employees get the spacious spots, while the least liked get small cubicles or end up in the basement. It's a safety compensation and you're just skating by, always waiting for that paycheck. But after twelve months, you still haven't been paid. Here's an optimistic way of thinking: If you're late today, you're just earning time for tomorrow. Most nine-to-five jobs are tough because the job description doesn't match the actual work.

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The speaker claims T-Mobile discriminated against them for being unvaccinated by blocking them from the Frisco, Texas office for ten months. They state T-Mobile isolated them and prevented them from attending events, such as the 2021 Christmas party at Stonebriar Country Club, which required a Magenta Pass obtained by submitting a vaccine card to a third party. The speaker says they thrive on interacting with people, and the isolation "broke" them. They feel they were in a mental prison working at T-Mobile after 2020.

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I've been at Angelo's for three months, and it's not the typical tech job I expected. I used to work remotely with flexible hours. Now, I'm in the office daily doing real work. Where are the nap pods? Everyone here is obsessed with the mission. Subcreating tunnels and bunkers means using the earth's crust as a three-dimensional battle space. It's a new form of war fighting. It's hard to make it in the e-bike industry. Our smallest submarine, the Dive LD, dives to 6,000 meters autonomously, reaching any ocean bottom. I was promised work travel, but it's not what I imagined. Instead of working by the pool, I'm surrounded by robots and testing products in the field. I'm an indoor person. How did I end up here? Can you help us with something? Don't work at Angelo's; it's just built different.

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If we were seen as a sanctuary program, especially one using federal dollars, we'd face a lot of problems. To avoid scrutiny, we strategically omit status inquiries from our federal statutes by subtly influencing bill language in congress. Now, with the new efficiency team's surveillance, communication has moved offline to encrypted apps like Signal, even though we're not supposed to conduct business there. They've installed software to track keystrokes and monitor our calls. If I end up on leave, I'm headed to the beach, taxpayer money well spent! Many in administrative roles are already leaving since we can't do much anyway. If I'm in Mexico, don't worry about it.

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Business is essential. Every business day is crucial. Breaks involve cigarettes. Staying late is "extra innings." Leaving early without explanation is acceptable. Time off is not an option. Clients are both family and friends. Taking a sick day is terrifying due to potential job loss. Holidays are not taken. A healthy and fulfilled life is maintained without sick days. Work is greatly loved.

Armchair Expert

Armchair Anonymous: Horrible Boss | Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
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In this episode of Armchair Anonymous, hosts Dax Shepard and Monica Monsoon discuss "horrible boss" stories. The first story recounts a fast-food employee's experience with a young manager named Jacob, who later confesses that his wife was the robber during a heist at their restaurant. The second story features a woman who endured a toxic work environment under a boss named Tom, who was verbally abusive and manipulative. After a series of stressful events, including an inappropriate dinner invitation, she quits, only to discover later that he had stolen her identity, opening a credit card in her name. The third story involves a woman working in wildlife documentaries under a difficult executive producer named Miranda, who displayed erratic behavior and made unreasonable demands. Despite the challenges, the narrator perseveres and eventually leaves the job for a healthier work environment. Throughout the episode, the hosts reflect on the absurdity and seriousness of these experiences, highlighting the impact of toxic leadership on employees.
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