@AlottaMalotta - Julia Malott
Please share this widely! I couldn't be more terrified of our country's healthcare crisis and @ONThealth can do better! Ontario healthcare is broken and we've long known it. It's been like this my entire lifetime, and I'm not exactly young. This is my daughter's IV line, which she's been connected to since 2:00am this morning. She's been awake for well over 24 hours, as have I, as we await care at @StMarysGenHosp in Kitchener, Ontario. We arrived shortly after 10:00pm yesterday evening after my daughter complained of excruciating abdominal pain. As usual, care took hours to arrive. She was given a bed where she squirmed and sobbed until finally, shortly after 2:00am, the doctor paid her a visit and ordered pain meds to make things bearable. It was evident by 4:00am that we were almost certainly looking at appendicitis, as the pain was centralizing in the lower right quadrant. We all suspected this, but we couldn't confirm until 8:00am because... apparently we don't have ultrasound technicians during the evening. No one has medical emergencies in the middle of the night, I suppose? For those who haven't had the pleasure of an inflamed appendix, appendicitis often leads to a ruptured appendix after a period of increasing pain, and that rupture can be fatal. Fortunately for us that hasn't happened yet, but time matters. There's nothing this hospital can do for us as 'we need to confirm it's appendicitis'. We wait until 8:00am By 5:00am we are told that my daughter needs to give up her emergency room bed. Someone else needs it. She is still in pain, but will now make due sitting in the waiting room, putting pressure on her abdomen in the process. There's no negotiation—there are no beds available. We wait until 8:00am. We wait until 9:00am. Some guy walks in with a Tim Horton's cup during our tenure and gets the first ultrasound slot. I'm sure his condition was just as severe. By 10:00am the doctor confirmed what had been evident for hours—we've got a case of appendicitis on our hands and we need to move forward with emergency surgery. ...Except... they can't do that in this particular hospital and @grhospitalkw doesn't have any beds available either. No one knows when they will have a bed for my daughter who is both sleep deprived and in critical medical condition. I inquire. An hour? A bed by noon? Will we even get one today? No one has an answer. No one wants to have the conversation. I can tell I am a burden to the overworked staff. We return to the waiting room and my daughter keeps sitting. She's been awake now since yesterday morning. Her pain flares up every few hours and—after being brought almost to tears the edge is subdued with another dose of pain suppressants. She's refused a bed because there are no beds available, and I can't take her home to her bed because she needs surgery—though there's none of that available either. She hasn't eaten in more than 18 hours and she's been told that she's not allowed one bite because she might have surgery any moment... Or perhaps never... so we sit and wait—watching her IV machine go into upstream occlusion every 5 minutes. The nurses don't have time to do anything about it. This is a simple problem to fix. Fund our healthcare system! @SylviaJonesMPP, @fordnation, our citizens deserve better. Fix it!
@AlottaMalotta - Julia Malott
Why the Gender Critical movement as it presently stands will never receive broad support: Gender criticality is about centering biological sex over the concept of gender being detached from sex, right? It's about not wanting men in women's spaces... right? And it's also about preventing childhood transition out of an abundance of caution of risks and regret. ... and there won't be broad public support for that blend of policy cocktail because the majority of people have at least a shred of compassion for the gender dysphoric ... -- --- -- At Genspect, I met a women (who I will call Megan) who I later learned was transgender. I had no idea. She passed perfectly convincingly as though she were female, and only those whom she wished to disclose her sex to had any idea that she was biologically male at all. Megan and I left the conference Sunday evening and spent the night (and the early morning) chatting while driving aimlessly around downtown Denver. I realized in that chat just how different hers and my @genspect experiences were. Everything negative encounter I experienced, Megan did not. While many were very uncomfortable with my presence, they were quick to welcome Megan. While some were expressive in their fear I was using the women's washroom (which I did not, for those who care), Megan was present in those spaces with no concern expressed by anyone. ... and in the aftermath of the conference, one of our photos insulted and demeaned, while the other's disappeared as the unremarkable conference attendee she was.... This is a problem that should concern us all, because the embodiment of someone like Megan at Genspect is the strongest argument for why gender dysphoric individuals desperately wish to transition young. We need to face the reality that, I didn’t receive my Genspect experience because I am trans, I got it because I am non-passing trans. I got it because I was not a child when I transitioned, I was 28 years old. That’s a chilling reality to face for those who wish to argue to abolish childhood medical transition. I want to be able to say stopping childhood medical transition is a good thing. Really, I do. I want to tell the 10 year old dysphoric boy and his mother who are navigating this complex domain that waiting is better. That undergoing an unobstructed male puberty, a process through which many boys will find their childhood feelings of dysphoria subsist entirely, is the prudent thing to do. That mother and son need to know that biology is real and that you can’t change your sex. They need to hear that comorbidities exist, as does social contagion, and that it’s in their best interest to take every possible precaution to rule out these possibilities at the hazard of lifelong regret from irreversible damage. Those conversations are not happening and they should be. There’s no excuse not to be having it. I want to say that there’s little downside to waiting until adulthood to transition… But I need to tell them the entire truth: that the bestowal of dignity and kindness will be much sparser when left to transition as an adult. We need to make clear that while the risk of transition as a kid is infertility and regret, the risk of transition as an adult is also regret, along with many more surgeries undertaken in a desperation to try fruitlessly to reverse the masculinization of the jawbone and the forehead, the nose and the voice. For large hands and a long face, there’s no solution to those at the present. To be completely transparent, I would need to tell that mother and her 10 year old son that, should it come to it, he probably won’t pass as an adult transitioner, and that when he fails to convincingly present to the world as adequately feminine—as a woman if you will—he will be labeled a clown, an appropriator of womanhood, a pedophilic threat to our children, and a human unworthy of love. -- --- -- You want to ban childhood transition — create space for gender non-conforming males. You want to hold rigidly to our gendered society—you are pushing gender dysphoric individuals who seek childhood transition even more desperately.