reSee.it - Tweets Saved By @GreyAreaMonarch
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Nathan Reynolds who operated under the alias Joshua Killough (J.A.S.O.N. Project 7716) on behavior modification mind control programmed sleepers cells being activated to attack critical infrastructure in a 'Black Awakening' mass activation. See quoted post for COG linkup: https://t.co/bU4b72Syyk
Video Transcript AI Summary
Many individuals are unknowingly influenced by mind control programming throughout their lives, trapped behind a cognitive barrier that prevents them from recalling it. The goal is to help them piece together their experiences and break free from this influence. A significant event, referred to as a "black awakening," is anticipated, where sleeper cells will be activated to target critical infrastructure, particularly law enforcement and essential services like trash collection. Disrupting these services could lead to rapid chaos in cities. These sleeper agents will execute pre-determined targets, causing widespread disorder without their knowledge of the mission.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: In a mind control script. There's a lot of guys that are like that, a lot of people that are like that who are who don't know that's exactly what they've been programmed to do throughout their life, and it's just on the other side of a of a cognizant wall, an amnesic barrier, and they can't recall that stuff. The heart for me is to try to help them understand a way of putting the pieces back together and being able to to get free from that influence because there is a black awakening that's being prepared where these sleeper cells are gonna get activated, and they're gonna go hunt, and they're gonna go eliminate people that are heard what's called critical infrastructure, law enforcement law enforcement predominantly, firefighters, trash service because when you stop stop all the trash, you can make a city fall apart really fast. Like, this is who they're gonna go out, and they're gonna assassinate all of these people who are on kill list that the the the asset doesn't even know of. But it's gonna kick off one day, and they're gonna go out and they're gonna hunt and and cause chaos.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
It is very hard to consolidate the information in a digestible package while conveying the importance, but let me try to be as clear as possible concerning the looming threat that brings me to give this publish push right NOW: At (Edward) Hunter Field, the emergency information is that we would train assets from all walks of life who were already pre conditioned in 'behavioral modification' programs... meaning they were literally 'mind controlled MK-ULTRA/manchurian candidate' type sleeper assets... and we were setting up a domestic 'Operation GLADIO' stay-behind multi sleeper-cell situation. This, unfortunately, has been largely successful and was carried out nationwide. Remember, the people who were originally responsible for setting up the Hunter Field/Ring Farm and nearby sites (scandalous Oliver North Crew/NSC) were also known to have set up Continuity of Government (COG), establishing FEMA with all the controversy, including using 12x the disaster relief funding for covert operations, and running the infamous Rex 84B ~ a formerly classified scenario/drill to detain large numbers of United States residents deemed to be "national security threats" in the event that the president declared a National Emergency. That is especially concerning now ~ regarding what's currently deemed a national security threat! It's not just assets in these sleeper cells, though - if you recall me mentioning non combat related specialized skills - know that there are assets under this same kind of 'MK-ULTRA derived behavioural modification ~ mind control' in many places. It's not just blackmail that controls Politics and Media! These assets - even if unwitting - are effectively controlled opposition. These people may seem like they are acting in good faith, but if they have been brainwashed and conditioned to have their strings pulled... it is simply an issue that HAS to be addressed in order to push through the gatekeeping limited hangout blockade.
Video Transcript AI Summary
Colonel North, during your time at the NSC, were you involved in continuity of government plans for major disasters?
This topic is sensitive and classified, so I request we avoid it.
I am concerned about reports of a contingency plan that could suspend the Constitution during emergencies. Is this related to your work?
I respectfully ask that we not discuss this now; we can arrange an executive session if needed.
Unfortunately, only Jack Brooks got close to this issue before being stopped.
The reality is that standby provisions exist, allowing for military intervention to apprehend and detain Americans in the name of countering terrorism.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Colonel North, in your work at the, NSC, were you not assigned at one time to work on plans for the continuity of government in the event of a major disaster?
Speaker 1: Mister chairman.
Speaker 2: I believe the question touches upon a highly sensitive and classified area. So may I request that you not touch upon that, sir?
Speaker 0: I was particularly concerned, mister chairman, because I read in Miami papers and several others that there had been a plan, developed by that same agency, a contingency plan in the event of emergency that would suspend the American Constitution. And I was deeply concerned about it and wondered if that was the area in which he had worked. I believe it was. I wonder if it
Speaker 2: was I most respectfully request that that matter not be touched upon at this stage. If we wish to get into this, uncertain arrangements can be made for an executive session.
Speaker 1: And tragically the only member who got close was Jack Brooks and he was stopped by the chairman.
Speaker 0: But the truth of the
Speaker 1: matter is that yes, you do have those standby provisions and the plans are there and the statutory, emergency plans are there whereby, you could, in the name of stopping terrorism, apprehend, invoke the military, and, arrest Americans and hold them in detention camps.
reSee.it AI Summary
I was known as 'The Wizard' in the music and cannabis industry. I worked closely with someone called 'Oz' before I left the 'illuminati.' We helped each other out, but there were secrets between us. Years later, I found out he lied and was involved with the Masons. He's now managing Yelawolf and seems to be getting deeper into the dark side of the music industry. While I don't judge him, he's responsible for his choices. I hope he can help expose connections between Freemasonry, intelligence agencies, and trafficking.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
I have been known by many names in MONARCH... but to the people in and around the music business - and especially to those that were connoisseurs of cannabis - I was known as 'The Wizard'... working my magic, cultivating the finest! One person who I worked with rather closely before I bucked the 'illuminati'... if you will... right as they launched their career in the music industry, was someone who went by 'Oz'. You have to laugh at the Wizard of Oz / MONARCH connotations. It was 'Ounze-Zilla' in full, to be fair, but he DID go by O-Z day to day, so it's legit. Ha! The mutual friend who had dubbed me 'Wizard' introduced us. I had just finally aged out of DHS custody at 19yrs after a car chase fiasco and firearms charge as a minor, and was rebuilding. Oz was about 25yrs, rapping, hustling garbage grass. He helped me get re established quickly, and I put him on to my game in a major way. Expertise and elbow grease. That was around 2005... and by early 2008... things had progressed for us both, and we had some intertwined interests. Now late January of 2008... he was the one driving the night after the Senator/Stripper situation when I was going back to the Crazy Horse/Operations Center to confront the corrupt team, where I ended up waking up in the ICU/Trauma Center. I'm not saying he was involved in what led to me almost being killed that night... I had walked into that huge problem all by myself, and I had been keeping that info compartmentalized from him myself - but then again - what had he been keeping from me? Did he know anything was off that night? Way back then, he'd go on about his 33⁰ friend of the family... and double-triple crossing is the name of the game, unfortunately. Years passed... I had been falsely imprisoned... focused on healing from my own childhood brainwashing that I became aware of amidst all this... and when I got out of prison - dead broke - I found out Oz had lied and skirted some % kickback... but I was leaving that life anyway... so I let it go. I forgive just as I ask to be forgiven... so I kept my head down and worked quietly towards my ORGANIZE SAFETY initiative. Ultimately him and that situation were inconsequential to my life, and it was a good chance to prove to myself that I'm not going back to my old ways. A decade later... I see that he just became a 3⁰ Mason at the Phoenix Lodge right up the street from the 'family friend' Royal Jester who helped set me up for false imprisonment following the aforementioned events... funny... the little recording studio Oz was running back then was also Phoenix. He is now managing Yelawolf, among other things... and he seems to be taking steps into fully becoming another 'illuminati' weirdo, running around behind the scenes in the music industry. I don't judge him at all... I know he's been brainwashed too... guided, routed, manipulated all along... However... that doesn't absolve someone of responsibility in an ultimate, final way. That's how this stuff plays out... people get consumed... first put through the process as a child 'against their will'...they don't remember consciously... but then they recreate the steps consciously themselves and truly CHOOSE. Let me be clear... I don't think this man is harming women or children... not partaking in that type of activity consciously... but he's 100% subservient and in bed with those that do, and being steered by dark powers and principalities. Maybe he can help get this right and serve to show the people some connections in Freemasonry, Alphabet/Intel Agencies, Music/Public Relations/Management, and Various Forms of Trafficking... Lets make space for these poor fools to come clean! (This all builds on my series 'The Grey Area' - to fill in blanks and for more information/receipts - https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFUAcddUy4uM4yJvseq9rpqoZevop-FBx&si=3MQg7ORy_OhZlGdt)
reSee.it AI Summary
The use of spiral symbology by pedoccultists is linked to mind control and the creation of slave personalities. Dr. James Giordano discusses the loss of information processing ability during spinning and its implications for brain targeting.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
The REAL reason spiral symbology is used by pedoccultists - what it represents, and why it's used https://t.co/FVd1UrwAxb
Video Transcript AI Summary
The video discusses spin programming, a form of abuse used by ritual abusers for at least 40 years. It involves spinning individuals to affect their subconscious and bypass their conscious mind for brainwashing. Doodles depicting spinning symbols are used to reinforce brainwashing programming in victims, particularly children. The spiral symbol in pedophilia represents imagery used to brainwash children into becoming sex slaves. Anti-human trafficking efforts may sometimes serve as a front to distract from the true perpetrators. The suffering of young victims is exploited and worsened by these abusers.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Because this is crucial and you need to understand how the occult and occult knowledge in dark neuroscience mixes in with this. So this is well known. This is a declassified FBI paper and the symbol. And now, we have a summary of what's known as spin programming. Again, I was talking about the social trauma therapist such as Valerie Wolf who had the information and all the others where these people are going.
This information is compiled with people like me and others and we put this information together and to disseminate to help you more. The summary of this papers, this papers describes spin programming, a type of abuse that until recently was unknown to psychotherapists, but has obviously been in use by ritual abusers. Yes. Ritual abuse. Yes.
Related to what's might be called satanic ritual abuse, but some people might just call a beating if you're in a street gang. There's many versions of ways to say this and many versions of weighing as to say this makes other people say no it's like this it's not that it's this argue same with other things such as religion but I digress it's been used by ritual abuses for many years, at least 4 decades. It's for 40 years because it's the earliest cases they have documented about it. And this is blindly quadrant where many people say the same information and probably much longer. It's possible that most or perhaps all patients with histories of ritual abuse have been subjected to spin programming.
And why is this child abuse epidemic going on? Why are these pedophiles enabled? And they know things because what they wanna be able to do is to abuse and to continue to abuse. Just Just like anybody that wants anything, they want to be able to do something in their life and do it more. This is how people work.
This is how the brain, the body. This is how behavioral This is about behavioral psychology understands people. People who are born into cults that practice ritual abuse because this is generational as much child abuse and sexual abuse is in the guest. You can look. This is all everything that I'm saying is easily verifiable.
Patients who were born in the cults that practice ritual abuse as opposed to have been recruiting later in life are probably more likely to have experience spin program. Yes, pet because that's only if you were a child is being used on you as a child and Their SPIN program is likely to be more intensive and more sophisticated. SPIN programming presents some formidable obstacles for psychotherapy. It is important that in the past lack of awareness and understanding of Spin Program by therapeutic community has contributed to many problems in Therapy. Spin Programming.
This is what we're talking about. Why is this? Why is this the symbol for boy lover? Why is there different swirls for pedophilia? Because when you spin someone fast enough, it affects the periphery in the air force.
I believe there's a chair, chair where it spins around and you have them do different tasks during the spinning after, and eventually, it affects the mind, allows you to be tucked through the periphery. And this essentially bypasses your conscious and allows the subconscious to be programmed. And these pedophile abusers are aware of this. This is information that is passed in these circles and spinning someone continuously and especially at a high rate eventually causes a great deal of distress and can assist in brainwashing techniques. All patients reported having filled or decorated many pages over periods of years from early childhood.
Again, only those who's training commenced in childhood because this is something that takes place to children because in an adult, it would not have the same effect due to dissociation. Through adulthood, their fill pages over a period of years from early childhood through adulthood with doodles that are strikingly similar across individuals. So all these subjects seem to doodle the same thing. They described themselves that have produced doodles in their almost obsessive manner. Every time they doodle, some people make smiley faces, some people make hearts.
These people just tend to draw those swirls, little tornadoes, little circles, little spirals. Many of them depict spinning, such as drawing and spinning tornadoes, others suggest spinning such as spirals, etcetera, etcetera. But they depict movement or transmission outward from the center. Other goals to pick movement or transmission when linked to another without spinning as in the interconnected boxes or interconnected loops. The dueling appears to be intended to reinforce by repetition and visualization.
The lessons learned through cognitive and imagery training Doodles may be produced by alters as trained as spinners, and they may be produced by others to be seen by spinners as reminder that the spinners maintain their skills and alertness. Now, I understand that might be a little confusing, but we were talking about, when you make a programmed person and they have one second. Apologies. Once you have a program person and you have different compartments, some of these different compartments become dissociative identities or personas, and they have a job. And this gets complicated because unfortunately, programming the human mind is complicated, so we don't need to go into that.
But what you would need to understand is that the reason that the spiral is depicted and used as a symbol in pedophilia is because it symbolizes imagery that is used to reinforce brainwashing and used to instill brainwashing programming to make children sex slave and and so much more. So, again, these pedophiles are doing this to children because they pass them around in rings, and they are enabled. I was in anti human trafficking. And, yes, we were allowed to stop some some of the competition that couldn't be absorbed. And some other organizations, for example, that recently had movies or were depicted in movies, Act as a public relations arm busting and exposing opposition that can't be absorbed into the organized program and presenting it to the public as an offering, a sacrifice.
Yes. We are taking down the bad guys. Yes. Don't worry about over here. Worry about here.
Yes. We're we're taking care of the children. Yes. They go to a good place funneled into the program, into these unorganized programs. Yes.
And as as Claudia Mullen as Claudia Mullen, the second survivor testimony you saw earlier mentioned, they took the suffering of a 7 year old and makes it infinitely worse. That's what's going on. I hope that provides some understanding.
@organizesafety - organizesafety
A large aspect of Pedoccult Symbology includes spirals, but what is the significance? The answer is truly insidious. It's all about mind control and dark neuroscience secret (occult) techniques that facilitate creation/programming of slave personalities. SPIN PROGRAMMING https://t.co/sWtDITCclN
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Dr James Giordano goes into loss of ability to process information when spinning (at 13:30 on) such as displayed in flight, or a Bárány chair... and other cognitive/emotional fallout allowing specific targeting of the brain (at 15:50 on) through periphery https://youtu.be/Zw8J_T-O4Os?si=Tiuer6Td_ceLqLRA
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
When you think 'bigger', you start to see the similarities between pieces and people. https://t.co/U5O5Uzy7va
reSee.it AI Summary
Shawn Ryan's actions suggest he is under complete control, as he sent a close associate to a facility for reprogramming. This associate experienced memory upheaval and refused a MONROE scholarship. In a podcast episode, they discussed realizing they were in a military mind control program. I want to clarify that I'm not saying Shawn is a bad person, but he is controlled. More information is available for serious outlets interested in CIA/NSA/DARPA mind control.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Shawn Ryan is completely controlled to the point where he made moves to send a close associate who was breaking free from MONARCH to a facility where REPROGRAMMING/TUNE-UPs take place. Shawn Ryan, Tucker Carlson, Russell Brand... all cutouts being fed to the people
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
After @ShawnRyan762 sent his former associate/friend/staff to VETS, they had programmed memory upheaval and almost offed themselves. Shortly after, me and his associate got in touch and I was able to provide context, partially debriefing them RE:MONARCH. They then refused a MONROE scholarship and were simultaneously forced away. In 'The Grey Area' E1P6 towards the end, I go over the complete (redacted) initial conversation where they discuss realizing they were in MONARCH or at least something similar (military mind control theme). FWIW... I'm not saying Shawn is a bad guy... but he's controlled Yall sooner or later people will see. This is a huge deal... but relatively small in comparison to what will be brought forth soon #ORGANIZESAFETY
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
I do want to mention that I had permission to fully share information prior, and in the screenshots I was following up after the fact and mentioning that I still redacted some of their information (being sensibly protective) I have more information for serious outlets that want to know how CIA/NSA/DARPA MIND CONTROL but exposing it all publicly at this level does nothing but make those involved feel uneasy. Softer measures preluded these public posts (and others)
reSee.it AI Summary
I present a informative and down-to-earth presentation by Fiona Barnett on military mind control and the integration process. It provides insights on program selection, Fiona's personal healing journey, and advice for professionals and survivors. It's for survivors and deep divers seeking to bring this issue to light.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Military Mind Control and the Integration Process - Fiona Barnett This is for the survivors - and the deep divers - to bring this UP to the surface. Note: While there may be aspects one does not completely agree with (as with virtually anything), this is a very informative, down to earth presentation -- with information on program selection and specifics for background, focusing on Fiona's personal healing journey, and her advice to the professional community and survivors themselves.
Video Transcript AI Summary
In this video, Fiona Barnett discusses military mind control, trauma, and dissociation. She criticizes the lack of effective treatment methods and the influence of organizations like the False Memory Foundation. Barnett highlights the history of MK Ultra and ritual abuse in Australia, as well as the programming process and the importance of selecting victims with high IQ, creativity, and intuition. She shares her own integration process and advises caution with certain therapeutic techniques. The speaker in another portion emphasizes the importance of finding an objective and motivated therapist, while warning against certain techniques like CBT and mindfulness. They share personal experiences with drugs and different therapeutic methods, stressing the steps of remembering, articulating, and abreacting for integration and healing. The speaker acknowledges the challenges and risks involved in working with this client group and emphasizes the therapeutic bond and emotional preparedness of the therapist. They also discuss the role of pain in the healing process and the importance of processing traumatic memories. Lastly, the speaker shares their experience with psychological trauma, triggers, and side effects of therapy. They discuss the integration process, reducing PTSD symptoms, and provide a list of therapists and organizations to avoid. Their hope is to help other trauma victims find the right path towards healing.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Hi. I'm Fiona Barnett. I'm going to talk about military mind control and the integration process. I'm sharing the content of a presentation that I gave in Seattle last October. It was a conference on trauma and dissociation.
I also gave this presentation to a group of therapists in Alaska and to some retired police officers who specialize in ritual abuse. It was well received, and people asked me to record this information in some way to write a book etcetera and I thought the best way that I can share it is through a YouTube recording. I first became inundated with contact from victims of various types of child abuse after I attended a press conference in Sydney 14 months ago. Since then, I have been asked for information, advice regarding how to integrate following the dissociation that occurs when somebody has been severely traumatized. I can't keep up with the number of requests for assistance, So it's best that I share this information in this YouTube presentation.
I went to America not just to speak at a conference but to find some answers. I went looking for some experts that we could bring back to Australia, to advise Australian therapists on how to treat ritual abuse and mind control. Unfortunately, what I found was that the big names over there in American Canada are fakes. It seems that the false memory foundation successfully shut down all treatment and even recognition of the true net causes of severe DID within the therapeutic community. And, therapists are no longer trained in successful treatment methods.
In fact, what they tend to do is focus on becoming familiar with a DID client's different fractions or different personalities. And the problem with that is when you have a 1,000 personalities within a client, that's going to take a a lot of sessions to become familiar with those various personalities, and it's counterproductive, counter therapeutic. And I found people who had been in therapy for 20 years and they were no better off than when they first started. What this told me was that therapists are absolutely clueless as to what they're working with. They they have no idea and I had one therapist for example at the end of my conference presentation.
She came out of the room furious at my talk and somebody said to her what are you angry about? And she said I'm so angry. I'm so angry at Fiona's talk. She said I'm so angry that no one has ever told me that information before and what I thought was a no brainer was quite obvious turned out to be unknown over there. Now I found out my information, not through my training, I received formal training in art psychotherapy and psychology and whatever.
And I can tell you now what I've learned did not come from that training. So it seems like in America too people are not being trained in the correct model, when it comes to working with dissociative identity disorder. I'm going to talk about mind control and ritual abuse in Australia and how therapists came to be so ineffective in treating victims who have gone through this and the resultant dissociative identity disorder. Then I'll talk about the programming process that I experienced. Now really all programming is a variation on a theme and it's influenced by the individual victim's imagination.
So no 2 victims are ever going to be alike. The other thing is that some victims are abused on more homemade equipment whereas others, if they're abused in a military environment are abused using more sophisticated techniques and equipment. But it's you have to remember that it's all quite similar, and a victim will always gain something or see some similarity in another victim's story. Then I'm gonna talk about the integration process, how I actually integrated, so how I overcame the forced association. Then I'm going to talk briefly about the pros and cons of successful integration.
So to start with, let's have a look at the history of MK Ultra and ritual abuse in Australia. MK Ultra is not a conspiracy theory, it is provable fact. The American Library of Congress houses a report which resulted from the 1977 Senate Committee inquiry into MK Ultra and the unethical experimentation on US citizens. Similarly, Australia hosted a number of MK Ultra sub projects. Sydney University, for example, conducted sub project number 84 in 1960 under Doctor Martin Aune.
He was a CIA operative and the resultant publication that you can look up and read yourself was called social control in the psychological experiment, antisocial behaviour and hypnosis. Now there's a number of sites around Australia where victims were recruited from and where they were abused. So a primary place of experimentation was Holsworthy Army Base and next door to Holsworthy was Lucas Heights nuclear reactor. These are underground facilities 6, 7 stories deep and joined by an underground tunnel. Lucas Heights nuclear reactor was a scientific research centre.
That's where they manufacture the isotopes that were used in cognitive experimentation and other types of experiments to do with MK Ultra. The information gathered from Holsworthy and Lucas Heights ended up at Pine Gap, which is a CIA deep underground facility situated in the desert in the middle of Australia. Other facilities include various psychiatric hospitals, including Chelmsford Private Hospital. That's the most notorious that hit the news in the eighties. Chelmsford was the center of deep sleep programs, which was similar to what Ewan Cameron did, over in America.
Now doctor Harry Bailey was an associate of you and Cameron and, he was CIA funded to conduct dreadful experiments on, victims at Chelmsford Hospital where he raped and electrocuted and murdered multiple victims under the influence of heavy sedation. He committed suicide after one one of the victims tried to sue him. And, basically, that victim is a friend of mine and she only spent gosh a fortnight in the hospital and she came out with one leg shrunken to almost half its normal size and with severe brain damage, due to the electric shocks that she received while she was drugged and, it seems that she was assaulted by Harry Bailey as well. So that was in a hospital situated on sort of the northern side of Sydney. Other locations of abuse that I experienced were Fairbane Air Force Base and Parliament House.
They're located in Canberra. Now Fairbane Air Force Base is where Air Force 1 flies into and I was assaulted in the back of a US military plane by former President Richard Nixon. I also was prostituted at a young age to parliament house and to pedophile orgies attended by former Prime Ministers including Gough Whitlam and Bob Hawke. Now Centres of recruitment in Australia include freemason lodgers, so the children of freemasons, Boys Town Centres and they were centres run by the Catholic church. So you had Ingardene Boys Town was Australia's first boys town and that's the centre at which many kids were recruited for ritual abuse and mind control experiments.
And, a lot of kids went in there and they would they weren't missed and they would they never came out again. And that's located at Ingedean which is next door to the suburb where you will find Holdsworth in Lucas Heights nuclear reactor. So Catholic churches are a very common recruitment ground for victims of ritual abuse, mind control and so are Hillsong churches. Now the founder of Hillsong Frank Houston was outed as a pedophile and once he was outed his church, Christian Life Centre, splintered and, was renamed Hillsong. Hillsong is.
Has never been Christian. It is a child sex trafficking branch. That's all it is. That's all it ever will be and if you're in Hillsong, you really need to leave if you think you're a Christian. Every time a church plays any of Hillsong's rock music or, you know even uses their copyrighted music, to play in the church band, they are financing child sex trafficking and kiddyporn snuff film making.
They are financing the child sex trafficking industry and that that can't be debated. One of my key perpetrators was doctor Leonis Petruskas. He was a Lithuanian Nazi physician. He was a good friend of my Lithuanian Nazi war criminal grandmother, Helen Holozak, and her, partner, Peter Holozak, who, liked to kill Jews for a living in Lublin, death camp on the east side of Poland. Petruscus and my grandparents all lived in the same, suburb of Ingredein which is south of Sydney and that's where Leonis actually worked at Ingerdean Medical Centre along with another perpetrator John Milloff and Milloff had contacts with Holsworthy Army Base and they also worked with a Doctor Grey but Doctor Grey was quite kind to me and I don't really have anything negative to say about him.
A good friend of Leonis Petruscas was Antonie Kidman and they studied together at Sydney University at the same time. Antonia Kidman is the father of Nicole Kidman, the actress and Antonia Kidman, was a psychologist and biochemist. He trained in mind control abuse techniques under John Gittinger, the CIA psychologist, and he was probably the greatest, psychologist that ever worked for the CIA. He was an absolute expert in personality and IQ and a genius when it came to assessing children. He was also a rampant pedophile.
All these men were pedophiles. Leonidas Petrascus and Antony Kibben were Luciferian priests high priests. So Petrascus was in charge of the Ingredion Boys Town Luciferian Diocese and Anthony Kidman was in charge of the Luciferian group that congregated at Sydney University, usually in the Great Hall at that university, and that's where they conducted Luciferian murders and rituals. You have to understand that, Nazism was a religion as well. There was a religious cult that underpinned Nazism and at the height of Nazism they actually conducted Luciferian rituals in the streets of Germany in broad daylight.
As we know, at the end of World War 2, the Nazi scientists were granted asylum in Russia, America, Brazil on the condition that they continued their work. So under paperclip in America, the scientists went on to work for NASA, on their rocket technology, etcetera. And under the CIA, and their funding, they went to, continue their Nazi Eugenics work and their experimentations on mind control and their super soldier project. I understood it as the Jason project that was the name that Giddinger referred to. Basically the super soldier project involved the military application of all this technology, to enhance the capabilities of a soldier so to enhance their intellect.
I mean, the best spy is somebody doesn't know they're a spy so they were using dissociation techniques to create this perfect spy. They were enhancing a soldier's ability to go without sleep or to withstand pain. So this was the objective. Now an offshoot of that was the Pygmalion project which is a gender reassignment project so changing the the gender of a child in utero and this reminds me of this push for gender free toilets, in which children could be abused, so there's such an emphasis on on, you know, transgender people and their welfare and yet there's no concern displayed by the government for victims of international child sex trafficking and VIP pedophilia. Public denial of the existence of ritual abuse and mind control in Australia was secured by the Wood Royal Commission.
This was a New South Wales State, Royal Commission that occurred in the mid 19 nineties and it was overseen by Royal Commissioner James Wood who was a lawyer. And Wood help to establish the myth of false memory. And, the notion that the satanic panic was to blame for multiple victims like myself coming out and saying hey, there are Luciferians conducting, you know, rituals and murders on children that they've abducted and or bred for that purpose and that they are feeding victims into these MK Ultra experiments. So Wood basically concluded in his report that, these allegations, which were multiple and came from diverse sources were the result of attention seeking hysterical women. That's interesting because most of the victims that I've spoken to and the ones that have been reported in mainstream media are men.
He said that they are the result of over enthusiastic over enthusiastic therapists who like to implant false memories in their clients. This is just a lie. Also he depended for evidence to support his conclusion on the lies of Elizabeth Loftus. Basically, commissioner Wood misrepresented Loftus's book as scientific evidence. There was no peer reviewed research to support Loftus's theories and, you know, the sorts of experiments that were conducted later on, to so called support her theories, were experiments involving say 30 young female psychology students who came from the same, white middle class background, all attended the same class and they were asked to imagine themselves falling through a plate glass window and this the the outcome of, these so called experiments was supposed to be compared to and generalised to a population of the most traumatised child abuse victims spread across the world and it was just ludicrous.
If any 1st year psychology student tried to say that that was scientific evidence, they would fail. It makes sense that commissioner James Wood would draw those conclusions considering multiple victims have named him as a perpetrator to the current Australian Child Abuse Royal Commission. Justice Woods was named by, for example, Dean Henry in his statement that he made in prison to the current Royal Commission. I know a number of other people who've told me about his antics and, he actually adopted a Eurasian child who was overdosed at the age of 14 after the child sex trafficking ring had finished using her. This man needs to be thoroughly investigated.
Thanks to Commissioner James Wood, we have a situation in Australia where victims of ritual abuse and mind control and who suffer DID symptomology cannot access appropriate and successful assessment and treatment methods. All Australian institutions have now been infiltrated by people who are either ignorant of best practice or they are perpetrators of ritual abuse and mind control and they work for the child sex trafficking network. You wouldn't know this or unless you had lived it and experienced it firsthand at these institutions. So these institutions include universities and, hospitals, mental health facilities, you know even private psychology and psychiatric clinics. They've all been infiltrated and you know them by their fruits.
You know them by their words and their actions and so it may take some time to discover that an individual is being deceitful in their relationship with clientele. So Australian universities generally take a strong anti victim pro pedophilia approach. In their teachings, they will emphasize, Elizabeth Loftus's writings, They will mock students who take a pro victim approach. They will mark them down in their assignments. They will basically teach students, the right way to think, which is anti victim pro pedophilia, through their marking, through their assessment and then if students don't conform, they will be failed or they would just be targeted and set up for removal from not just the university but, from the industry, from the health industries.
You have a great example in Bonn University. They very much push Elizabeth Loftus's work and they have lecturers who have published pro pedophilia material on the University's website. You had for example Professor Paul Wilson who wrote articles supporting the notion that children are not harmed by child sexual abuse and instead they are willing participants. Paul Wilson was recently convicted of, child sexual abuse of, a girl under the age of 12 and sentenced. He has such a long line of victims waiting up to prosecute him that he will spend the rest of his days in court or in prison I've been told.
So this is an example of the type of lecturer that you have at Bond University but you also have them at other universities. I mean Paul Wilson back in the eighties lectured at University of Queensland and he showed the end of a kipporn snuff film to a class of what became psychologists and, I've spoken to one of those witnesses. Paul Wilson also tried to organize a conference at University of Queensland, which was supporting pedophilia and trying to make out that it was similar to the gay lifestyle and should be socially acceptable. You have these sorts of lectures at other universities in Melbourne and New South Wales and, New South Wales University and and other universities that come out in the mainstream media even recently, while the Royal Commission has been going on there's been a bit of mainstream media attention paid to to these sorts of people. So generally mental health practitioners in Australia are not trained in ritual abuse and mind control, They are instead encouraged to mock people who say they have experienced these things, this type of abuse and to diagnose them as psychotic or delusional.
You have organisations that set the ethical standards for Australian health practitioners, they ban any sorts of treatment methods that might assist the clients such as the APS will ban integration methods and they do that through their emphasis on Elizabeth Loftus's work and false memory writings and telling psychologists that they must never suggest that the client might have been abused. You have a ban on techniques that work for example within New South Wales victim services, they ban EMDR and this is probably the most effective method for dealing with, trauma that the person has naturally dissociated from because it was just too extreme, or they were forced to dissociate from. The person was traumatised to induce dissociation and EMDR is probably the most, you know, desirable technique to use on those victims. Were you not allowed to do that in New South Wales, if you're a psychologist or psychiatrist, you're not allowed to work with clients using that effective tool. So instead of methods that work like NDR, MK Ultra theory and abuse techniques dominate mental health and I will discuss that in more depth later.
So now I'm going to talk about the programming process. As I said all mind control is simply a variation on a on a basic theme. Everybody's experience is a little bit different, it's shaped by the child's imagination and by the level of sophistication and advanced technology that's been employed. So where I might have been abused at Fairbairn on a you know contraption that was designed to train pilots to withstand g force. Somebody else might have been tied to a homemade pig on a spit style implement, you know, for spinning but the end result was the same.
We were both spun to help split the brain and, you know, bring about dissociation and and memory loss. The most important variable to understand when you're working with military mind control and high end ritual abuse is IQ. This is the most basic characteristic that an abuser is looking for. So when it comes to, MK Ultra and they were looking to enhance the natural abilities of soldiers, So a soldiers natural, cognitive ability. How do we enhance that?
How do we enhance their memory? That sort of thing. Then what they what they're going to be interested in is IQ. Now people have extremely strong misconceptions of IQ, what it actually is and how legitimate these tests are. People have been basically brainwashed with false information and what you commonly hear from people is oh what matters is EQ?
Well no, when you apply for the army, the first thing they do is IQ test you and the reason they're doing that is because they do not want someone with an IQ of 70 in charge of a tank. So the military understand the importance of IQ and indeed that's why these tests were first developed for selecting people, for various ranks in the military and now these IQ tests are very accurate. When I say they're accurate, I mean they are very good at identifying people who have superior cognitive ability. Now that means that they are intellectually intelligent or academically intelligent, okay, and just as a child might inherit their parents physical attributes, their physical looks and their personality traits, so to a child inherits their parents brain structure and function, so IQ is nothing more than a person's brain structure and function, so if a person has higher IQ, what they actually have is a denser and more interconnected brain. Okay?
So information is absorbed more quickly, processed more quickly, it travels around the brain more quickly, and they react to incoming stimuli more quickly. So if you puff someone's eye with air, they're gonna close their eye. Now somebody who has higher IQ or a faster brain are going to react more quickly to that puff of air on their eye. That's why there's a perfect correlation between scores on a comprehensive measure of IQ and someone's reaction time speed. The speed with which they, you know, react to incoming stimuli such as, you know, a puff of air on an eye.
And also what you're getting these days is there's more cognitive scanning So people are using you know functional MRIs and that sort of thing to examine someone's brain and what parts of their brain light up when they are performing cognitive tasks and once again there's a perfect correlation between scores on an IQ test and their performance or, you know, what is, observed on these, objective scans. So people who score more highly on comprehensive IQ tests, when they are observed performing cognitive tasks through functional MRIs, both sides of their brains light up. Whereas somebody who's just, scores average on one of these IQ tests, only one side of their brain lights up when they're performing that task. So people can laugh and pooh pooh and say oh everyone's gifted and you know everyone's gifted at something and people can be gifted at dancing and all of a sudden. That's not what we're talking about.
Yeah. Every child's valuable and everyone's good at something or or they have potential in one area more than others, that's not what we're talking about and that's not what the military is talking about and that's not what Gidding was talking about or acting on. So we have IQ measures and the best measure of potential. So someone's cognitive potential was the Stanford Binet L. M.
And we've got a photo of that right here. Now the SBLM still remains the best test of its type. The revisions of this test are not as good. They just haven't come up with anything that's as as as good as this test but also Gittinger would use this test but he would also employ mainly the block design from the Wechler series because the block design, you know, the one with the little red and white, blocks, still remains the best measure of visual spatial processing that is in existence. Now generally this Stanford Bin A LAM test that we're looking at here, it was a fantastic measure of visual spatial processing.
So when you combine this test with the Wechsler block design you've got a great measure of visual spatial processing and the reason for that is because the most important type of IQ is visual spatial IQ. That's what they're most interested in when they're looking for MK Ultra subjects. The reason for this is because visual spatial IQ is most desirable when you are training someone to split. When you are forcibly dissociating their mind and I'll talk about that a bit more. Now the other variable that's very important after IQ is creativity.
Now creativity is not correlated with IQ this means there's no relationship between the 2 so which means there's no guarantee that if someone has IQ that they're creative. So when you're looking for subjects, for these military programs, You're after IQ, high IQ. You're after in particular high visual spatial processing IQ and you're after creativity. So that narrows down the group of kids that you got to choose from. So the other variable that Giddinger was looking for is intuition.
Some call it psychic ability. Now the Russians were very much into weaponizing psychic ability, and this is well documented. Make of that what you will. Then you've got psychological resilience is what they're looking for. They were also looking for Arian appearance, so that's the blue eyed blonde, kids.
They're looking for a flawless physique. You're not allowed to have one defect on you and that includes skin defects, scars, anything like that and they were looking and testing for physical strength and stamina. So they put, they put kids through, comprehensive physical examination and, test of endurance, etcetera, put them on treadmills and they're also looking for, you know, similarly they'll test them for psychological resilience, through the you know, getting them made up a whole bunch of tests that were good for that. So this is the selection process that, I went through. Now in terms of intuition, they preferred females for this.
They found that they were more had more of what they were after. So make of that what you will. Now I mentioned visual spatial IQ. People can score say about a 150 say on the the modern tests. Okay?
One person might score a 150 and have a very high visual spatial IQ measure and then the other fluid reasoning will be much lower and then the other person will score the same on the same test but their fluid reasoning will be very high and their visual spatial IQ will be very low. So what that indicates is and what these tests are great at identifying is which side of the brain is dominant, which or, you know, does the person have a visual spatial learning preference? Now it's imperative that the person be a visual spatial, type of child or visual spatial learner because this allows them to do a number of things, which in a more superior way than someone who is not. And that allows them to, better think in pictures. So what you might not realise is that, some people think in words and some people think in pictures.
So when you have a conversation with with a visuospatial dominant person As you talk they will turn that speech into a movie in their head and then they will that will be unforgettable in their mind. So they actually have a greater capacity or potential for photographic memory, And this is very useful as we will discuss later. They have quicker reflexes because of their ability to visually scanned and and process incoming visual stimuli. They think quickly under pressure. They have fantastic hand eye coordination.
They're able to synthesise seemingly unrelated pieces of information. So they're able to see patterns amongst, in a whole bunch of info. They have strong abstract thinking ability, they are able to read micro facial expressions and they are fantastic at foreign language acquisition. For more information go and see the world expert on this and that is Linda Silverman, she's got a whole bunch of free information on her gifted development center site. Now when we talk there about micro facial expressions, this translates into a really good ability to anticipate other people's thoughts or reactions and they also are very good at lie detection.
So at university there were classes in micro facial expression reading and all this sort of stuff. Well, you don't need to do that if you're high visual spatial IQ, you naturally do that. So when we consider visual spatial IQ, we can see how that ability can translate into a number of useful skills within a military setting. So people who are high on visual spatial IQ are usually better at code breaking, research, intelligence gathering, driving, shooting a weapon, architecture, physics and computer programming. It's interesting how Martin Bryant who supposedly achieved this phenomenal, headshot rate at the Port Arthur Massacre, He supposedly had an IQ of only 100 of only 60 when the average is 100, so that places him as in the mentally retarded category.
It's just actually physically and statistically impossible for Martin Bright to have done what authorities say he did down there and perhaps the nurse who went around Australia saying that she witnessed navy seals come out of the ocean and gun everyone down. Maybe there's something to what she said. MPD or multiple personality disorder is a term that's not really used anymore. It's now being replaced by DID or dissociative identity disorder. MPD it's it's really a dirty word.
It implies that somebody has multiple personalities and that they're a raping lunatic and it's not, an indication of of the truth. DID is simply where somebody's natural ability to dissociate has been called into play. So somebody who may, have a car accident and they go through the front windscreen of the car, they the brain has a notch natural shutdown mechanism so that the person doesn't actually remember going through the windscreen. They might remember before going through the windscreen, they might remember the ambulance ride or arriving at the hospital but they it's just simply too much and it's too overwhelming for the person to remember going through the windscreen. Now this natural ability to dissociate, during extreme trauma, well, that's the very thing that the Nazis were learning to manipulate.
Now remember they had n equals 6,000,000 subjects, no ethical committee to, curb their, you know, their behaviour. So in a very short amount of time they learn a lot about the human brain and this information has never really been made public. It was became military secrets and passed on to the Russian and American military. Now I like to refer to forced dissociation. So that's a, an intentional manipulation of the brain's natural ability to dissociate.
I like to refer to it as trauma induced structured dissociation. So it's very intentional, it's very deliberate, it's very well planned and it's highly accurate now. So I see it as best being considered as memory and behaviour compartmentalisation. So the brain if you could take a look at it is actually physically compartmentalized. So what they do is they deliberately cut new neural pathways in the brain or they deliberately close ones that preexisted.
Okay? Now we can thank a number of modern minds, people who influence psychology and psychiatry for this information. So in Russia you had Pavlov who and who came up with his classical conditioning theory. But beyond that everyone else who's a major name in modern psychology and behaviour psychology, really they were on the CIA payroll and they were contributing to the MK Ultra body of knowledge. So we can thank Seligman for, his information on trauma and learned helplessness.
Balby contributed attachment theory and Skinner, contributed his, information or his knowledge of conditioning. He expanded on Pavlov's work. So basically we have, this neural pathway creation and closure and what what that is is the physical splitting of the brain as I said in the hemisphere so you can achieve a splitting of the brain through various means. So they use drugs and they use hypnosis and they use spinning. A big thing they did was spin kids and as a result you might have certain symptoms like eye convergence disorder or vestibular disorder or vestibular problems.
Now to to maintain those neural pathways, victims have to be re traumatised continually. Otherwise those pathways will naturally go back to their natural state. And that's why victims you will see people will call them shit magnets but really it is very structured and planned that members of the International Trafficking Network will be employed to say move in next door to the person and continually harass them or come into their lives or pretend to make friends with them and you know it's very much like from the movie Total Recall with Arnie Schwarzenegger where he had a friend who was there trying to influence him to, you know, not take a certain path in life that might trigger his memories of things that they had intentionally made him dissociate from. The best way to understand dissociation and integration is to think of the brain as a computer and that's what John Giddeyer used to say to me, the brain is like a computer. This was when I was a little kid and did not really know what a computer was and it wasn't till the advent of, you know, PCs that I could really understand what he was talking about.
But that's what it's like. The brain is like a computer. So if the brain is like a computer dissociation can be viewed as a a filing system, a computer filing system. So the perpetrators create multiple files and occult ritual is performed at the creation of each file. So I remember at Holsworthy, and Lucas Heights than doing things like, I would be chanted at by, you know, scientists in in white jackets and they would play on a synthesizer up and down the octave.
Know this spirit, know this spirit, Know this spirit. Know this spirit over and over and over. And then they would chant at me different things like cartoon based chants and themes. So Batman, they would chant at me number 6, number 6. What do we have at number 6?
Number 6 have has lots of tricks. There are 6, spirits at number 6. And so they would actually perform a ritual at the creation of each vial and, sort of chant the name of a an ancient God or what you called a pagan God or, you know, what Christians would call it a demonic entity or, you know, a Nephilim whatever and they'll chant that and that was supposed to cement through employment of like a spiritual cement. That was supposed to secure the program. You know I don't know why that works but that's what they believed.
So then a password or a trigger would be attached to each file so that they were able to retrieve the file with just a word or a hand signal, you know, some music or an image. So when when kids are programmed, Walt Disney was a pedophile, a lot of his movies are MK Ultra programming tools, so every time a child watches Peter Pan or Snow White or Sleeping Beauty or Wizard of Oz or whatever something like that. That reinforces the programming and keeps those neural pathways closed and open as they desire. So here we have the structure of my programming. This structure is based on the freemason Eastern Star.
Anthony Kidman created this and it was flawed. This is why my programming broke down. Anthony Kidman was murdered or told to suicide when I reported him to the New South Wales Health Board. I wasn't the only victim of his abuse that had reported him and the board immediately acted on my report and he was dead within 2 months. He died under suspicious circumstances in Singapore after he had been placed on suicide watch.
A member of Nicole Kimm and security team became a paparazzi and he still had contacts with his mates on the security team and of course they, blabbed and, that told various other journalists that, you know, Kidman was placed on suicide watch immediately after my report to the health board. So he failed and and the penalty for exposure and failure is death. You know, these pedophiles think they're untouchable and they live like they are and, until they stuff up and then they find out they're mortal and, dispensable. So this programming, I I honest to goodness don't understand this programming. To me, this doesn't make sense.
I thought Anthony Kidman was a bit of an idiot. He wasn't a genius like Gittinger and obviously this is why and where it all broke down. So you have the red arm of the pentagram and within that arm contained experiences of murder and Luciferian ritual and orgies and horrible, you know, terrible things that they did to kids, in that in that behind that door, And then you have behind the green door, you had, well, I suppose academic training and ability and enhanced abilities, so I did have photographic memory, I was like a human tape recorder and I lost that ability as I integrated. I still have superior memory compared to the average person and that was proven through cognitive testing a few years ago but, nothing like what it was And then behind another door you have, for some reason, hypnosis on its own, I don't understand why, But there you've got me dressed as a candy girl. Another door, you've got drugs.
That must be the programming that was caused through drug abuse and then another behind another door, you have, training the soldier training I went through. So I actually was put through full military training, which I'll just little talk about a little bit more later. Now when I integrated, one of the last steps of my integration was being the gatekeeper in the middle who had access to all these doors and it was the most remarkable experience of my life. It was like being in a Matrix movie where Keanu Reeves, I think was at the second movie, where he's he's standing in the doorways in the hallway, which you know, contained a number of doors that led to various parts of the virtual reality programming and it was white but in my mind everything was black yet I could and it was just like in a movie I could walk and open all the doors up and I did open every door and I this is what I saw. I just drew what I saw and I saw all these people come out.
So the mind is an absolutely phenomenal thing and no one can really understand it. We all pretend we know, but we don't. It's experiences like these that make you realise there's more to life and death than, what we hear about on TV, you know, there's more to life than Kim Kardashians butt implants. So here is some examples of what they did to, bring about the dissociation process. So the first steps before they got to that pentagram structure was the implementation of Balby's theory of attachment.
So thanks to Balby, here we have what they did to me and this was to destroy my natural attachment to my mother and never mind what people say and don't worry about equal rights of the sexes. It's the mother that has the greatest influence on the child and that's why they target the mother in this, attachment violation process. So these people, they don't care about, what's politically correct. They just care about what works. So they basically electrocuted me and, destroyed my natural affection for my mother and that was never really repaired, to be honest.
And then thanks to, those, you know, Skinner and and the like, the implementation of conditioning theory, they paired mummy with vomiting. So here we have getting out feeding the Ipecac until I vomited blood. Yeah. That wasn't much fun either. So I'm only about 5 when they did this.
And thanks to Seligman, we have the the, learned helplessness theory being implemented and remember Seligman did experiments with dogs on an electric grid and they electrocuted the dog until the dog gave up and that's what they're bringing about. They're bringing about a white whiting of the mind and bringing it back to a blank state where it is like a clean palate ready to be brainwashed with whatever they want. So again, you know, I was, you know, electrocuted till I just gave up and dissociated from the pain. So after they destroyed my natural attachment to my mother then I was reattached to a substitute mother. In this case it was Veronica or Ronnie as I knew her and she was the Grand Dame of my area.
You do hear Fritz Springmeier in his writings refer to the Grand Dame and the role of the Grand Dame. That's the only place I think I've ever seen anything like what I experienced. In fact there's only 2 people whose works I've found useful in my life and that was Fritz Springmeier's work and there's another person called Carol Ruts and she wrote a number of papers and tests to do with ritual abuse or extreme trauma surveys and what they say in those documents is consistent with my experience in Sydney. So Veronica was based at Sydney University. She lived in, Saint De Sophia College and she was in charge of the girls who studied and lived there.
She was very high IQ. She was very refined. She was my teacher and my confidant and she supervised me and she mediated between men and the dirty filthy pedo men, that dominated the, well, the system. People say, oh, what do you call it? Well, we knew it as the order or the family.
I was led to believe that these people were my real family instead of my actual mother and this woman, subjected me to child sexual abuse and, so when I was 14 I was forced to from an early age she sexually abuses you and but despite that, she was a genuine friend that I had. She was a very nice person and she herself was a victim who was forced into a perpetrator's role. And when I was 14, she she chose to die. She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take what they did to kids like me and she said I was the final straw and she just checked out the best way she knew and, she used to call me her little anomaly.
So I think I did have a big influence on her, and her decision to check out. So this is another phase in the programming process, the employment of virtual reality programming. I was, you know, made to wear virtual reality goggles. This is at different ages this occurred. I they shoved something in my right ear.
In fact, my right ear never recovered. It was always, had problems in earaches in that ear, which I well remember, and I was made to watch horrendous scenes. In fact, you know, one time I found on YouTube the very video that I was made to watch when I was a kid and I've never seen it since but it was the actual video that they used to play and someone uploaded it to YouTube and it was just pictures of like war and nuclear bombs going off and dead things and murders and horrendous rapes and tortures of animals and screaming bunnies and things like that. It was awful and and I think the the impact of that and then that electrocute you at the same time and that was to overwhelm me and, you know, to flood me with sensory input. So after they destroyed my attachment to my mother and you know wiped my previous programming which comes from general life and a and a fairly normal looking upbringing.
They replaced that with other things so sexual abuse was used to replace that which they destroyed and love. There was a perversion of natural affection. One of their virtual reality programs was Candyland and I actually saw the tape that they had and it had Disney, copyright Disney, written on the tape and I don't know how this happened and as a kid I didn't understand but I was able to walk through the program with Giddinger. We're both able to participate in the program. I mean I used to think oh did they make a giant set with all these you know, giant candy canes and a castle and everything?
But I mean, now as technology advances and the mainstream public have access to this information that they had many decades ago, I can see, no, probably was virtual reality. So once they'd stripped me of my sense of self and who I had been raised as, they have to replace that with ego. So your sense of self is replaced with pride in your genetics, in your IQ, in your royal bloodline. I was also a candidate for Grand Dame so I was actually raised to, be a candidate for taking Veronica's place when she died. So I was called things like the chosen one, royalty, special, year of the ruling class and you'll see other victims when you swap stories with them, they've been told similar crap.
As I said, I was put through full military training, included being made to say jog for hours until I, went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated. I'd have a dog chasing me and I was told by Colonel Chan who was, an Asian with an Asian accent but in Australian military uniform, he told me, if I didn't stop running, the dog would would get me and rape me and, you know, chew me up. So, of course, I ran, and I went beyond the pain threshold and dissociated and, you know, that's where I, went into a state of floating. It felt like I was floating and then I could go on forever. I could just run and run and run till maybe till I drop dead.
I don't know. But I was exposed to sensory deprivation as part of this training. I was kept in a cabin for days. I was kept in isolation. I was then paired with murdered with kids that were later murdered, So I was bonded with children and then they were, brutally slaughtered in front of me, and, this was all part of their training.
Now this Colonel Chan, he was a cannibal, and anybody who knows anything about these Luciferian pedophiles will know that they are all into cannibalism. And, so this so called health battalion logo, which supposedly was, devised through a competition. So people had to come up with a competition symbol or, you know, illustration and this was the willing winning entrant, that's a load of rubbish because I remember before that competition, I remember Chan having a very sharp Asian style implement and it looked like this was in this shape. So that was their Health Battalion logo in the Hawesworthy Army. So yeah, so after they, did the basic programming, they would bring me in for regular maintenance.
So whenever I went to my grandparents place, I was taken over to Hallsworthy or whatever and one time they had trouble with my heart they were saying. They're saying that my heart was acting independently of my brain. Now they had control of my brain and they'd split that and they worked on that but my heart was overriding my brain, they said. So basically, they flatlined it to bring it into submission. Now you can see with modern science publications that they're seeing now that the heart has what, similar to brain cells in it so that the heart can have memory.
So when people receive organ donation, they take on the memories and characteristics preferences and tastes etcetera of the the donor and this is documented. So when I watch doc you know, documentaries like that it reminds me of incidents like this and it makes more sense of it. So now I'm going to talk about the integration process. This is something that I have devised myself. I basically was my own therapist.
I. People say oh can you recommend a therapist I can go to? No I can't. I made this up myself. I brought about my own integration with the help of God and the odd bit of input from various therapists.
I was desperate and had no other choice. I studied art psychotherapy and psychology and read books and traveled to America to find books and, look for experts and I did a lot of this, remember before the existence of the Internet so it was very difficult in the in the early days and I had to wait 20 years between the two phases of integration. So the first, batch of integration was achieved many years ago in my early 20s and the focus was mainly on ritual abuse and those experiences and I was just getting to the military mind control stuff. I remember doing a drawing of being spun in this egg contraption. I took it to my mother and she said oh that's enough you don't need to remember anymore and she didn't mean to shut me down, she just thought it was too much and, and I went oh okay and I just didn't work on it anymore and I never found a therapist that I could trust enough to open all that stuff with.
And I would have I was functioning fine really. Just every now and then I'd get some horrendous, you know, burst of mood, like a mood swing or I was, you know, I'd be retraumatised. Something would happen, I'd be targeted again, I'd find dead chopped up animals on my lawn or something like that and that was enough to set me off. So I was much more vulnerable to that, pre full integration than I would be today. So I waited what 20 years before I came to a place where I could could finish off the military stuff and deal with that.
As I said Australia is a therapeutic wasteland. There is no one that I can recommend. There is no clinic. There's no hospital. These clinics that pretend to deal with this sort of stuff don't trust any of them.
I say to victims do not trust any of them. Okay. They've all been infiltrated as far as I know and I hear stories from victims from all over now. These various agencies that are pretending to be advocates for child abuse victims and treating them and what have you. I I haven't there's not one I can recommend.
I'm sorry. To begin with, the best way to explain what helps integration is to outline what hinders it. Now the most destructive tools that you can employ when working with the DID client is the very tools or methods that we employed to cause the dissociation and trauma and abuse in the first place. So for example ECT, I mean electrocution is only going to stuff the memories back down again until they volcano again to the surface at a later date, you know, usually anniversary time. Drugs, nah.
Drugs stuff memories down again. And, they interfere with with memory recall and, accuracy. And then hypnosis. Well, hypnosis is so dangerous. Unethical hypnosis is what's used to bring about the dissociation.
And if you about in there using hypnosis, you have no idea what you're doing unless you are an expert military trained, hypnotist who has access to the original codes that were, implemented through unethical hypnosis. So if you don't have the trigger codes, you're just going to trigger the client to suicide. Also stay right away from biofeedback or neurofeedback. Once again, these techniques were employed to imbue to abuse kids like me, at Holsworthy and and, Lucas Heights nuclear reactor. I know that some of the programs that they use now I mean I was given a little bit of biofeedback and it triggered the hell out of me a couple of years ago.
And the programs that they developed well, the person who developed program is a Russian neurologist who works at the same, Pavlovian Institute that, you know, Pavlov trained at in, Saint Petersburg and the actual program that they created was full of Luciferian symbols and, images of blood drip down walls and things like that. So I thought it was more of a trigger than a healing tool. What else won't help integration? Well, neglect. If your therapist is providing one 50 minute session per week because 10 minutes of that paid session have to be devoted to note taking, well, they're ripping you off and, they're actually not doing a service at all because when therapy reaches a critical point, they're not going to be available for you and really you can't achieve much in 50 minutes, when you're doing this kind of work with a DID client.
You really need longer sessions and more of them. Feigned empathy. I had a I had a lecture at Bond University in the, counselling psychology course who used to say you could fake it till you make it and I thought no you can't. High IQ victims can read micro facial expressions. They're going to detect faint empathy very quickly.
You don't want to be working with a psychologist who is who's proud and, egotistical because that interferes with their objectivity and motivation and usually find those types are very jealous of the hierarchy clients that come in and really want to destroy them rather than help them. What else stops integration is denial techniques. So these include CBT which stems from learned helplessness and ACT which is based on CBT cognitive behavioral therapy and acceptance commitment therapy. You don't want to you don't want to deal with mindfulness which is, stems from Buddhism. Buddhism which is a dissociative based, religious cult and, they employ dissociative techniques like transcendental meditation, astral travel.
It's the last thing you want to be doing with a victim of ritual abuse who was taught to astral travel as part of their ritual abuse and to dissociate. And positive thinking not helpful at all. So mindfulness I mean you know these techniques that they employ they, teach you to be in the moment and to really not look at your past. So don't look at your history of ritual abuse and mind control, let's not look at all the murders and and let's not, accurately remember and illustrate the, VIP perpetrators of your abuse instead be in the moment okay and it's like trying to employ mind over matter, and taking that approach is akin to, taking on a, you know, a battleship with a pop gun. It's not gonna work.
It's it's like if somebody smashed up in a car accident and they're screaming in physical pain on the ground and screaming for, you know, drugs for for painkillers and you go up there and say, you know, just stay in the moment. You know, don't worry about it. Forget the past. Get on with life. People don't realise that the nervous system agony that victims go through who have been subjected to the sort of abuse that I have experienced, that that nervous system pain manifests as physical pain and it's absolutely excruciating and, you know, doesn't help to employ these, methods that are based on positive thinking and forgetting the past and getting on with life.
So positive thinking and, techniques that akin to that, They're designed to stop integration. The worst experience I had with a therapist was one that used to tell me to, oh, just go and find a good book and listen to nice music. You know, when I was grappling with, suicide programming that was forced upon me. It wasn't my thoughts. I wasn't suicidal.
It was, we you know, as I was about to remember, a horrific some horrific crime or something that was forced to witness, I would feel suicidal just you know immediately leading up to that and the worst thing you can do is tell someone like that to just go read a good book and put on some nice classical music. It's the last thing you wanna do. So just a word on drugs. The best advice I was ever given was from my friend's dad who's a retired pharmacist and it was a really good one and he said to me one time, he said never take the newer drugs. He said you'd be lucky if a new drug has been tested on 10,000 subjects making you a human guinea pig.
Stick to the old and tried drugs. Now I I did most of what I did drug free. I mean, when I had kids, I had them without drugs and that means gas, no gas. I'm my mum's a naturopath. She's been a naturopath since I was 7 so I've been raised in alternative medicine.
She was the nutritionist for a state home midwifery Association, you know, I was really raised in that whole scene. So I was very anti drugs, anti everything Western medicine, and for good reason anyhow because I am hypersensitive to drugs. I mean, I couldn't become a drug addict if I tried. I mean, they pumped me with so many drugs when I was a child, and I already had a hypersensitive nervous system anyway due to being high IQ, that, you know, I don't it doesn't take much. I've had severe reactions to some very basic drugs.
And so when I tried, what did I have? I had Cymbalta or something, and that was for anxiety or something ridiculous. Anyway, it triggered, heart problems in me and I know that it triggers triggers suicidal ideation and I know that's when I started sort of grappling with, sort of suicidal ideation was after I'd taken that some bolter garbage and, and it took 2 months to wean myself off it was horrendous. Valium was I mean there were some times when the pain was so horrendous that nothing touched. Valium didn't even do anything but sometimes it could provide a bit of immediate relief from trauma and flashbacks, but of course you can't stay on it for more than 2 weeks, not that I did.
I'd just have a little bit and I'd have stuff that was years old and just go and find it in the medical cabinet. But the other thing that I found was sometimes helpful was beta blockers. So the old style beta blockers. What's it called? Induril.
It did relieve heart symptoms during abreaction. So when I relived a trauma I actually had my heart react to it as though I was there. So this was a bit of a concern when we went to Abbreact them flatlining my heart. You know, my therapist seriously thought I was gonna have a heart attack and I could have. So because I actually have had a heart attack.
I had one at, what was I, 37 or something like that. And, I had no history family history of of that of heart problems, and I had a very strong heart, when I was young. So in terms of desired therapist qualities, well, it'd be nice if your therapist is high IQ because it takes someone high IQ to be able to work with and really understand someone who's high IQ. The only therapists I've ever got anything out of really have been high IQ themselves. Giftedness expertise at least, so that you don't misdiagnose someone who's high IQ with, somebody who has, I don't know, you know, bipolar as it says on this book, who are bipolar or have ADHD or OCD or whatever.
And you don't want to confuse being high IQ with PTSD, hyper vigilance or narcissism or whatever. People who are high IQ have certain types of, personalities and characteristics and behaviour tendencies, that you will find are pretty common to people in that IQ range and they they are often misdiagnosed. So they like I said they have sense hypersensitive nervous systems and that can be confused with a few different, alternative mental health diagnosis. So you just have to know how to differentiate between those, 2 different situations. It would be really nice to have a therapist who is creative and intuitive because then they can go with the flow because like I said no two victims of ritual abuse and mind control are the same and it's really good to differentiate the therapy for people who, high IQ because remember high IQ, victims are actually a special needs population.
It's like at school kids who are high IQ are actually classed as special needs and legally is supposed to be catered for and you're supposed to differentiate the curriculum so therefore you have to differentiate the therapy that you supply these clients with and the biggest problem that therapists make, especially young ones, is that they limit reality to their own personal experience or what their lecturers taught them or what's in their their textbooks. I've yet to see a textbook with, any relevant information to, the sorts of experiences I've had. In terms of what helps integration, knowledge. The victim can do their own work. They can become knowledgeable in the areas of psychology, IQ, biochemistry, neurology.
All this helps. If you can visualise because you'll be a visual thinker. If you can visualise what's going on in your brain when they abuse you and then what's going on when they heal you then you will have more confidence in the healing process. It's like when I, I had a stroke and it turned out to be in the vestibular system and then I had this fantastic physio who basically my goodness she she brought about a lot of healing in a 6 week program. Now the reason why that program worked is because I was confident that the brain was able to heal.
I did vision therapy before that thinking the stroke was in the visual cortex but it still, led to a lot of healing. I mean, just after the stroke, I couldn't stand on my right leg. I couldn't balance on my right foot and, like, I used to do acrobatics, all that sort of stuff. So it wasn't like I was unable to do that before. But it and they said also the people who conducted that therapy said, look, the reason you you did so well and made so much progress is because you believed in the in the therapy.
And I believed it because I'd read stuff about neurology and, and about neuroplasticity, I believed in neuroplasticity, So and all of that information really helped me when it came to the integration process. A number of techniques helped me as well. I I was in the first art psychotherapy intake in Australia into the master's program over in WA, and you know after, I don't know, almost a year of that I learned as much as I possibly could and and then I went off and I was dragged into trying to help other people who'd been through what I've been through basically and and I devised my own methods based on art therapy for bypassing unethical hypnosis and accessing subconscious material that was designed to never be accessed and all of that when it came to me doing EMDR, which feels very similar to art therapy in the in the mind, that helped me, you know, my understanding and having having worked with other people. I understand that process, so when it came to me doing it in my own head I was able to trust the process because it takes a lot of trust. You have to trust that you're not just making this up when you're remembering things, when you you get flooding and flashbacks and things like that, or when you're just drawing things.
You have to trust that this could be real, because your brain tries very hard to shut it down and to convince you that it's not real, because it's too hard to think that it is real. Nobody wants to remember this stuff. Techniques that I used for art therapy writing, with writing I mean the one of the most effective things that helped at one stage was my therapist had me email her just for some, oh, just housekeeping stuff like I'll be available for Friday or whatever. And then that turned into my goodness using writing as an extension of therapy and in the end I was emailing every day just writing and it was very important to me that I thought that person was going to immediately receive that email. Didn't matter if at her end she hadn't read it, she doesn't read it for a day or 2 but in my head it it stopped me from going insane and it it provided immediate relief when I was really critical.
EMDR is fantastic. It is absolutely essential for recovery and for memory recall and, clarification. I find the way I like to do it was do have a session of EMDR because see EMDR is unlike hypnosis. It's non suggestive and, it's up to the client to but your brain will just go where it's meant to and can cope with going at the time. So what you do is you have EMDR and you'll you'll have a flashback or something like that and then later on you'll have maybe a fuzzy memory but if you go and draw it at home afterwards it actually brings it to life and you remember heaps more detail.
And then a technique is abreaction. So which is horrendous and that is basically feeling the suppressed feelings that you were dissociated from at the time of the abuse. So you might have been 7 when an incident occurred and if you go through MDR you will abreast that feeling and you will feel it for the first time and you will feel the very raw feelings and that is just absolutely horrendous. And this is what you don't want to experience and what the brain fights to prevent from occurring. So it's very hard work integration.
Bilateral stimulation, well because they split your brain you want to do things that stimulate integration between the hemispheres and swimming does this freestyle swimming is fantastic and I ended up swimming a kilometre a day 5, 6, 7 days a week and I could so if I did MDR then went home did art therapy and then if I went swimming I had to go swimming after a session of EMDR because it would just gel everything and it would integrate the memories and calm my whole nervous system down. And I it would just I could feel it. I could feel it, working. And also I could feel my heart regenerating. I remember my brain used to talk to me and my heart would talk to me.
I realized what an amazing thing the human body is and how we have so much noise going on in our lives through media and radio and you know conversation and traffic noise or whatever that we don't slow down and listen to our bodies and when I was forced to slow down and listen because I kept very busy so I wouldn't listen because I didn't want to hear what it had to say, I found that it talked to me. So I would wake up one morning after a session and I remember going hello brain and I remember starting to integrate and feeling I was in touch with my brain and that it was integrating for the first time since I was 5 and I remember you know like I said when I was swimming I could my body said to me your heart is regenerating. So whatever damage had been done my heart I could feel it strengthening and yeah it was just such an unusual experience. Typing. So when I wrote I would type.
I'm a typer, I'm not very good at handwriting. And that's a bilateral exercise so that encouraged integration and of course EMDR is a bilateral exercise and that's why it works. So when somebody does EMDR with you they will swing a finger from left to right or they will tap your left right left right hands or your thighs or whatever they do. Don't confuse the MDL with hypnosis. It's not.
I know of 1, victim who's been through what I've been through and she freaked out and said oh I can't do MDR. No that's like hypnosis. And I said yeah that's what I thought that's why I avoided it but it's not. Nothing like hypnosis. Little bit like it but not really.
Then what else fostered integration in me was my personal attributes. So obviously I'm tenacious, diligent, articulate, I have you know high cognitive ability and I have faith. I have faith in a higher power. I'm a born again Christian, I am not affiliated with any church. I think they're all child trafficking covers.
You know, I'm into Bible based fundamental Christian beliefs and and that's what's carried me through. Luciferianism is spiritual, it is, evil and dark and Christianity, as in biblical Christianity, is the antithesis of Luciferianism and I believe it is a source of higher strength and power and authority than, what my abusers indulged in. So So as an example of what therapists have to endure when they're working with IQ victims. This is how, it manifested in therapy for me. So this is just a little excerpt from an email that I sent my therapist.
You know it basically documented, oh my gosh, 18 months of therapy and integration based on the military abuse and we were talking about alpha waves because I had had some brain scans done and or brain readings. And what showed up was that I had unusual alpha wave activity. So I went home and honestly I studied at 15 minutes went bang bang bang and this is what I'm talking about the ability to research and flick through the internet whatever and this was my response. Now I studied a little bit of neuro anatomy and everything at uni but I didn't remember anything much about alpha, beta, delta, gamma waves or, you know, sleep states or all these sort of stuff. I couldn't remember any of that because I wasn't interested in it back then.
So when I had to pay attention this is what I can learn in 15 minutes. So I said okay. Bearing in mind I know absolutely nothing and I studied this for a whole 15 minutes. I noticed an article in which the researcher argues that alpha waves regulate the shift of attention between external and internal inputs and that alpha waves increase in power when we shift our consciousness of the external world to internal thoughts. The article considers whether boosting alpha waves subliminally shifts a person into an altered state of consciousness.
Reading this I immediately thought of the claim that the creation of different outer states involves inducing different brain wave states via flashing lights etc. All this made me wonder whether my brain waves consequently change with the emergence of each altered state. I then wondered whether my abnormal alpha activity somehow relates to my constantly shifting between different states of consciousness that is between different alters. So basically if you can't keep up with a client who is able to, you know, process that sort of information and and come to that conclusion in 15 minutes. I I don't think you should take these sorts of clients on.
You're only going to label them as weird or you're going to feel threatened by them. A main feature of my recovery during the second phase of integration, so 18 months of full on therapy where just I just had flashbacks for 18 months, it was horrendous. I was co conscious during this process so I never lost consciousness. So I know a lot of other people will go into therapy and the the therapist will have to record the session because the client comes out and I don't even remember what just happened and they will switch between different altered states and talk in a different voice and what have you and then come back and they won't know what they just said to the therapist. Now I never had anything like that.
I have since realized and found out that when people have been abused and the methods employed are very sophisticated and, you know, there it's a military application of these methods. It is seamless. Trans transition between the different alter states is seamless and it's undetectable. So people might have thought I was a little bit unusual as a person, I was a bit you know eccentric or what have you, but they would not have realised what was going on. I certainly wasn't, you know, shifting like something out of the movie Cibele.
And this the fact that I was co conscious during integration was it has enabled me to observe my own therapy and document it and that's what enables me to to articulate what happened so easily now. The most disturbing thing I encountered in America was a group of victims who when we're not making progress in therapy and some had been in therapy for 20 plus years. Some were high functioning and articulate and they would say to me what I'm trying. I want to heal. I want to get well.
I've tried so hard. I'm not getting anywhere. So I had to think about it and and I observed and I realized what the problem was. Therapists over there seem to be following the wrong treatment model. They are focusing on the symptoms instead of the cause of the dissociation.
So therapists seem to be focusing on getting to know the multiple, personalities or identities or fragments or alters, whatever you wanna call them within a DID client and finding out their name and their likes and, you know, their role and all that sort of thing. And I noticed quite a number of victims referring to themselves as we. We did this and we did that, and and that's something I I suppose I naturally shied from. I never referred to myself as we. I always thought of myself as I and spoke with I when I referred to myself.
I remember watching a documentary years ago. I think her name was Trudy and she was a famous MPD client. And she turns up to a doctor's house one night with a t shirt that read, 2468. We refuse to integrate, because the therapist was trying to bring about integration, and then she chose not to. And I remember thinking when I was young, what an idiot.
No. That is stupid. You want to integrate. That's the goal, And I'll talk about why that's the goal later on, but, I, I find it very unhealthy to, talk, in terms of we instead of I. I think that that fosters dissociation when what you want is integration.
And I can understand why people sometimes would do that and, you know, maybe there's a place for that at times and they, you know, maybe victims at times should feel free to express a little bit of that fragmentation, but I wouldn't entertain it the way therapists do. Some therapists seem to be titillated by the DID clients, you know, multiple personalities and then the client stays in that situation. Instead, what therapists need to do is is focus on the cause and not the symptoms. You know, focus on identifying and and processing through remembering and that reacting the trauma that caused the dissociation in the in the first time in in the first place. And by doing that, if you if you identify and process an individual trauma that caused association, you may be actually targeting for integration 300 alters or fragments.
So, basically, if you process the trauma that led to the fragmentation, then all those alters or personalities or whatever you wanna call them associated with that trauma that came about as a result of that trauma will naturally integrate and disappear. So you don't get need to get to know them and their names and their roles and what have you. Another thing is, therapists tend to shy from anything that triggers the client and they seem to tread on eggshells around triggers. Oh, no. You know, don't go there because it triggers the client.
Well, I take the opposite approach. I believe that the trigger is the key to to identifying the trauma. So I believe in, you know, pushing through that trigger, embrace it and go with it and find out what's behind that trigger. Usually it's, it's the trauma incident that caused the problem in the first place and you'll no longer be triggered by it if you just deal with it. Okay?
Don't shy from triggers. One of the victims I have spoken with said that she was having trouble locating her core personality and said, you know, my therapist and I, we've gone looking. We've searched for ages. We can't find my core personality. You know, what what do I do?
Well, I thought about it, and your core personality is is there. It's the person you were before you're abused. It's, your original name. It's it's who you were referred to as a as a child, the name that your abusers first knew you as you don't have to go looking for it and find its name, it is you and it's the person who is there when the victim's not being triggered and those other fragments that come into play once they're triggered, it's the person who's there when they're not in a fetal position in the corner of a room or that usually you find with with the victim, you know, although they may go through extreme mood swings and and you may be it's like you're talking to 50 different people, There's always someone there at the core no matter how dysfunctional they are. If you get to know the person well enough, there's always someone there that sounds pretty reasonable, not too intellectual because, you know, someone who's highly intellectual and, that that could be a a defence mechanism kicking in.
I'm talking about there's you can usually find the core person there and, and when various fragments are integrated, they are absorbed into the person's, original core personality. The victim's brain works over time not to try and recall the details of our abuse, but to the victim's brain works overtime not to recall details of abuse, but to forget them, and we'll do anything to distract ourselves from focusing on anything, that will remind us of what happened. So we will become workaholics, we will play music, we'll jump from activity to activity, never be alone, always want to have noise in the background or company, and a lot of victims will panic if they're on their own because the memories will will just come up by themselves and so we work very hard, to keep those memories at bay. And some victims will self medicate with drugs and alcohol, to, you know, stop themselves from from remembering. It's very easy to bring up memories.
It doesn't take a lot, the biggest barrier to recalling detail is the victim's own mind. And, of course, the perpetrators have put measures in place to prevent us from, looking at our own material, never mind starting to work on it, but just from even going there. I was very keen to recall my abuse. I am the type that likes to rip a Band Aid off in one go and so I flogged myself to the horror of my therapist. But I suppose I'm more able to tolerate a greater workload than other victims, it seems.
Since met victims who just won't even go there at all, but for some reason, I I can't relate to that. In my mind, I go, why wouldn't you wanna remember? Why wouldn't you just wanna get it over and done with and get it out of the way? I've got siblings who won't even go there. You have to remember that I'm I'm the oldest of 7 kids and, most of my siblings were abused by the same people in Sydney, and they have varying degrees of memories and willingness to talk about it all.
The police phoned one of my brothers and asked what he knew about it all, and he says, yeah. It's all true, but, yeah, I I don't remember a lot because he said, what? I I I work very hard to not remember. I I don't want to remember. So like I say I'm I'm different.
I do encourage integration. I do encourage people to work hard at remembering detail because it's the first step in a number of steps that I've identified from having worked through this. There are some clear steps that I I was able to identify, that steps that victims need to take in order to recover. So the first step is remembering and unfortunately this is very difficult because of therapists are not allowed to suggest to victims, that they might have been abused or, you know, might have been abused in a certain way or that they're exhibiting signs that, you know, something happened to them that maybe the therapist has seen in 45 other clients. You're not allowed to say that and because that would be the first step in in supposedly planting false memories in the client and this is all a lie.
There's no way you can put into a victim's mind something that wasn't placed there by the perpetrators in the first place. That that's that's a lie, of the False Memory Foundation pedophiles and, they've been very successful at circulating that lie all around the western world. So what victims need is to be triggered. People shun from being triggered to remember but that's the one thing that is needed. That's how you remember is by being triggered and you have to push through that trigger.
So something will start to come up and you you know victim will be bothered by. It could be a colour or it could be words to a to a song and be playing over and over again in their head and, where that doesn't normally happen or there'll be, just an image of some kind of terrible thing that could happen to a person and they'll just be, find yourself in your mind. You're being bothered by a certain type of torture or certain act against somebody, And that's a clue that something's coming to the circuit surface. It's volcanoing to the surface and what you have to do is work on that. So you have to remember what happened.
It's very important and then you have to articulate what happened. You have to be very clear about what happened. You have to be able to speak it because that is just part of the process of purging the past. You have to be able to then abreak it. So it's not enough to remember and talk about it.
You have to feel the feelings unfortunately. And those feelings when you begin to abreast the feelings you may be feeling those feelings for the very first time since you were, I don't know, 5 or 10 or what have you because if they've used unethical means to force a state of dissociation in the victim then that, pain that the victim experienced while they were going through the forced dissociation process has been put on hold, it's being put on delay. So when those neural pathways connect again and that's what remembering is, it's when neural pathways that were purposely severed or blocked, when they reconnect, then those feelings are going to reconnect. And so you might feel that for the first time and believe me it's as strong as the very first time that you experience the torture when you were 5 or 10 or you know whatever. So they're the 3 steps.
Remember articulate, abreast and you repeat those over and over and over and over and over. And I that's what I had to go through was was for 18 months over and over. Remember, articulate, add, react. Then after I sort of got through the bulk of the really bad stuff and I found that it kind of worked backwards to the worst things that occurred. So I actually worked back to the two worst things.
So one was what I showed you about, Kidman's doorways that were created. So that was probably the second last major thing that I had to work on but then I was working back to the attachment violation that occurred in the first place, with Giddinger. So that was the last thing I had to major thing that I had to remember in order to achieve integration. So after I remembered, articulated, I've reacted over and over repeatedly in a cycle, Then, I was able to sever the attachment to my abusers, mainly Giddinger, and deal with the attachment violation. And after that there was another step and it was closing the portal to my past.
I can't describe that very well. I think maybe it's a bit of a a spiritual thing that occurred. I just remember when I was dealing with all this stuff for 18 months, it's like a vortex to my past had been opened and and it allowed access to my past and it allowed me to feel everything but at the same time it was horrendous. So I was being bombarded and flooded with with with, you know, emotion and memories and flashbacks and all this sort of stuff. Well, that had to be closed at some stage.
I couldn't I couldn't cope with it anymore. And I remember just praying just going I've had enough, I can't do this anymore, you've got to shut this down and I woke up the next day and I remember very clearly just seeing a picture in my head of a very thin veil of skin just forming over a big jagged wound, like a gaping wound and I remember thinking, oh it's closed because all of that shut down at the one time, all of that emotion and, nightmare I've been going through for 18 months, it shut down. So it was like that portal to my past was was closed. It had been open for 18 months to allow me access to everything and then it closed. That's the best I can do to describe, what I went through.
People have asked me how can they identify when their therapy is working? Well, if you haven't achieved integration yet, a good telltale sign as you're working towards integration is that when you you triggered and, memory is coming up to the surface, if it's correctly processed, if that memory is correctly processed, it will never bother you again. That means that, all the suicidal ideation or feelings of self harm that, or, you know, anxiety, depression, what have you, associated with that memory and that tends to be there, as the memories come with surface, that will permanently disappear. Okay. So how to tell when therapy is working, when a memory is properly processed through remembering it and feeling the feelings and articulating it, etcetera And then if you do that properly, I can promise you that memory will never ever raise its head again.
It will just fade into the the past and something to know is that when a memory is being processed, it it is very vivid at the start and that first time that you process it in therapy will be the clearest it will ever be. It may clarify more as you do our therapy following MDR or whatever you use to to, process the memory, but eventually, it does fade and, it becomes sort of more difficult to to recall the details. It's very important that the therapist knows what they're working with before they commit to working with a client. Because once you open that portal to the past, once you deal with this stuff, start dealing with it, the client boards a roller coaster and like a psychological roller coaster and they can't get off until that ride's finished. The only options they've got partway through are to, you know, stick with the ride until its completion or to jump halfway and so the therapist shouldn't go about opening up these wounds unless they are confident that they they can stick to it.
Now therapists can be quite pathetic, they can think of all sorts of excuses to leave partway through and, you know, they can justify it according to the ethical code and say, oh, I was I felt threatened or, you know, the client, I don't know, broke some boundaries, overstepped boundaries, etcetera, etcetera. That's that's not the sort of therapist you wanna work with. You don't want someone who's frightened or cares what people think about them too much or, you know, who's in it for the wrong reasons. That's what will lead to or a therapist who themselves have the same background and all this triggers their own background, which I'll just go into detail, but the therapist must commit to completing the integration process before they before they start, otherwise just, you know, refer the client on. It's best that they don't start at all then have the client, commit suicide partway through.
So part of deciding whether or not a therapist is willing and able to commit to the therapeutic relationship with a client like this, is knowing the potential risks involved for the therapist. So one of the major risks is vicarious trauma. It is horrendous to sit there and watch a client relive their childhood for the first time and that, is something that the therapist must be emotionally prepared to tolerate. Another thing that I just mentioned before was there's the risk of that the client and what they've been through and the detail that they come up with might trigger the therapist's own DID because therapists are not trained in this, at university. They this might be the first time that they come up against this type of material or ritual abuse and mind control.
And the therapist might be a very high functioning, victim themselves and have coped very considerably well in society and there's no signs to them or anyone else. And then suddenly they will start to be triggered and and then what happens is they'll become defensive and they'll take it out on the client. They'll blame the client instead of looking at their own stuff and I know because I've had this happen with certain therapists and I had one therapist who ended up suicidal by the end and I I end up having to manage my own situation and and I was trying to manage theirs as well which I think I did quite effectively but people would not know and that person's in a position of power and they will misuse that against the client if it comes to a choice between the client's welfare and and them avoiding pain. So another risk is harassment from the client's perpetrators. This is the main reason why therapists who have worked in this area, shut up shop.
I did a study many years ago when I was at uni on, therapists who specialize in this area and the death threats that they got and the harassment to their family. I mean these you've got to think these people are very powerful, this involves the CIA and Asia and Australian Prime Ministers and Police Commissioners and they have the means to shut down anybody and that's why if a therapist is gonna work in this area, I would never advertise it. You don't tell anyone. You just keep it very client, very quiet that you're working with this, demographic and I mean most people won't stay in it for very long, then they might do one client and go up, I'm never doing this again. You tend to find it's genuine Christian therapists who cope the best because they feel that they have a higher sense of meaning to the work they're doing and that there's a higher source of power than the, people that have abused their client and these people seem to have unlimited resources and finances and manpower to call upon, when they're trying to shut all of this sort of stuff down, which they've done very effectively.
So also the therapist has to realise that they're working with the most challenging client group you could ever encounter ever. So the therapist might be working with a client who is way smarter than the therapist, who has gone through psychological, processes that enhance their natural abilities. I mean, that's why that was that's why they were selected in the first place. That was selected for these, abuse programs based on their higher IQ, their resilience, their fortitude, their, adaptability. And, you know, it's it's would be very difficult to psychologically overpower or outsmart a client that comes from this sort of background.
You know if you've got a therapist who's got an IQ of, I don't know 120, I mean how they're going to work with with a victim whose IQ is 200 and there's not there's no way you can deceive a client like that. There's no way you can lie. No way you can hide fear. You can't hide anything from them. They will read it in the therapist because they can read their micro facial expressions straight away.
And, so, you know, it's it's something to to give serious consideration to. Something that is very important to consider is the therapeutic bond between the client and the therapist. This is quite unique when it comes to victims of ritual abuse and mind control. It it's essential that this bond is formed, so that the memories can be processed. The client will not start to remember anything until they feel as though they're in a safe place and are not gonna be killed in the process.
The therapeutic bond is completely shaped by the attachment violation that I talked about earlier. It's it is very complicated, this therapeutic bond, if the perpetrator was a therapist and usually at least one of the victims' perpetrators was a doctor or a psychiatrist or psychologist. That's that's the whole point. They're the people who have been trained, they're experts in in the human brain and in behavior and that's why they were trained and, you know, the whole point to them being there is their expertise in that area. So that is going to flavor everything that happens within that therapeutic environment.
If a successful therapeutic bond is formed between the victim and their therapist, then what happens is that every state of consciousness or alter or personality or fragment, whatever you wanna call it, every forced dissociative, parcel will surface to test the therapist. And this is a very unpleasant experience for the therapist, especially if they are psychologically weak or they themselves are a victim. And then the client's feelings toward the perpetrators, 1 or more perpetrators will be automatically transferred to the therapist. So that could be, you know, anger, rage, that could be an engagement in sort of mind games that can be could be sexual. So I really recommend that female clients work with female therapists, because it would be difficult for a male therapist to resist especially a young attractive, mind control victims advances which they will bring out to test the therapist.
So I've yeah. There are pros and cons to this therapeutic bonding situation, the pros are that the therapist is immediately granted unprecedented access to the client's mind. That's that can be very advantageous when the therapist wants to seriously work on the client's past. The client will obey the therapist when they're in that vulnerable situation. They'll do as they're told if that bond is created well and the therapist, their voice will pacify a client mid flashback or mid app reaction.
All the therapist has to do is speak and the client will, respond like a like a little kid, to a to a parent. The cons are that the client is dependent on the therapist until the portal to the past is closed. Now this is the big risk that the client takes, with the therapist to trust them at the beginning, like I said, when they board that roller coaster. And the cons are also that the the client's anger at the perpetrators will be misplaced at times and unfortunately the the therapist will be placed under excessive scrutiny by the client because they will expect the therapist to be perfect in everything that they do, because that is what was expected of the victim when they were being abused, They were expected to be perfect. This is where a lot of the perfectionism, comes from and OCD type behaviors you'll see in victims.
So what will happen once this bond has, been secured? The client will seek the therapist's voice whenever there's a severe trauma, pain, you know fear episode. As I said like a baby responds to a mum and this can be quite suffocating for the therapist, especially if they lack skills and emotional maturity and if they're a victim themselves. The, client will go into a complete state of panic if the therapist doesn't respond. So if the therapist is physically, emotionally unavailable, if the victim has to demand, beg, or work for productive therapy or, you know, beg for more than, you know, a a short session once per week when when everything's quite critical, This will exacerbate the victim's frustration, anger, exhaustion, you know, and increase the sense that they're losing their mind.
And you see clients in mental hospitals, institutions and they stay in this cycle for years where they've they've connected with a therapist and the therapist sort of dumps them, doesn't fulfil their obligations to seeing, seeing out the therapeutic journey. And, the client just remains in this cycle of of of pain and trauma and and, you know, panic. And it's just heartbreaking to see because it's pretty easy to fix really. So the clients pacify just knowing the therapist is available. Okay.
It that you don't even have to be actually physically available Just if the client's got a sense that therapist is available that's gonna soothe that internal sense of chaos and it's going to the need for actual contact. So one way that I got around having, you know, more sessions, I was actually deprived of sessions when I really needed them. But one way that I'm compensated for that was writing the emails and that was able to immediately, soothe that panic that came up with, a new memory or or you know, a flashback or thought flooding. As I said, I'm a fan of EMDR which is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing. It's a type of therapy which is psychotherapy based and there's actually a lot of research to support its use and effectiveness.
It's not allowed to be used in some states in Australia, maybe because the people making the decisions about that are part of the, the child trafficking network. Why else would they not allow an effective means of therapy to be employed? I don't know. So EMDR is non suggestive. It allows the client to process at a manageable pace and intensity their, memories and the associated feelings.
I, like I said, like to use it in conjunction with art therapy. I think they complement each other perfectly. Prior to having any sort of experience of EMDR, I did decades of art therapy and I was very familiar with the art therapy process. And then so when I, experienced EMDR, I could feel inside my brain that and the impact it had on my nervous system that the process felt the same. Very similar and that's what allows me to feel quite confident in it and it's not like hypnosis.
It's not the same as hypnosis. Hypnosis is where the therapist suggests what happens and hypnosis involves the victim handing their will over to the therapist and that can be quite dangerous because you don't know really whether or not you can trust the therapist and if they launch into hypnosis straight away, you don't know if you're actually dealing with an abuser who's going to manipulate your behaviour through the use of unethical hypnosis once you've given your will over and and you know you can come out of hypnosis and be completely dissociative to what was what just occurred and that therapist might have used you while you're under hypnosis and in a state of dissociation. So I prefer EMDR for a number of reasons. Effective therapy will trigger you. As I said, you you have to push through triggers to get to the source of the problem.
It's like when I did therapy for my vestibular stroke, what I had to do was the very thing I did not want to do. It's the very thing I'd been avoiding for years years, and that was being made dizzy, you know, quickly turning my head, looking up, things like that. Well, the physiotherapy that I did required me to shake my head to the point where I felt ill, and, and to do exercises where I, you know, throw a ball and look it up in the air and catch it and all these things that the very thing I did not wanna do and I was sick for weeks doing it. But what it did was it forced the creation of new neural pathways so that they bypass the damaged pathways in my brain and it's a bit like that when it comes to doing, therapy and memory retrieval and processing in association with ritual abuse and mind control. You're going to be triggered and I mean some programming, will trigger extreme thought flooding and that sort of thing.
And I suppose it takes a skilled therapist to know the difference between, thought flooding and flashbacks that need to be turned off because they were there as a defence mechanism and they were placed by the abusers to turn the client off from exploring their memories. But I found that I never really had a great problem with that when I took the view that, hey, these triggers are going to lead me to the end result, which is integration. I so, you know, I went through extreme sensory flashbacks. I had flashbacks of being drugged. I had a 3 day drug flashback where honestly, I was I walked around absolutely stoned for 3 days when I hadn't taken anything.
I went through flashbacks of nervous system pain. I cannot I cannot describe the pain that I went through. It's worse than childbirth, drug free childbirth and I had, 2 of the most painful well the 2 most painful labours that my very experienced midwife had ever seen in her career and unfortunately I couldn't dissociate from the pain because I'd been through a lot of, therapy in my very early twenties and yeah, I'd lost that ability to dissociate which was a downside to to effective therapy. I had flashbacks of being electrocuted. I woke up one evening about 1 AM in the morning and I just woke up screaming my head off.
I could feel a big, you know, maybe it was a 20 centimetre by 20 centimetre pad of, an electrode on on my back and honestly there was no difference between the flashback of being electrocuted via that and actually being electrocuted in real life And so obviously I was feeling that for the first time. I had flashbacks of spinning, just vertigo. I had extreme vertigo. I nearly drowned in the surf because vertigo kicked in when I thought I was alright. And I went I went for a, run, swim, run, activity and, yeah, I nearly drowned.
I had flashbacks of being hypnotised. So this is highly unpleasant, and, of course, somebody's gonna reel from from these sorts of triggers. But I encourage people to just endure it and push through. It's not gonna last forever. I had, nightmares, terrible nightmares, which, were of things that had happened or variations on themes, variation, variations of things that had happened and I had thought flooding.
Thought flooding is horrendous. It's just when you are overwhelmed with lots of thoughts and memories at the one time. There could be 20 things that hit you at once and, yeah, it's it's so extremely unpleasant, but this is what will happen if you embark upon therapy, so go in knowing and, you know trying to set up as many, safety precautions as possible and one precaution is knowing what's going on. It's it's terrifying if you're going through this and I've seen people in mental institutions, they're going through this sort of stuff, it's coming up and they don't know what's going on and the doctors all think they're psychotic or just, you know, borderline personality disorder and just drug them. Whereas it's pretty simple.
If you just process all of this, it it eventually ends. We need to really, emphasize the role of pain in all of this. When the victim relives the abuse they actually relive relive the abuse. It's not just a faint memory of the abuse, they're reliving it as though they're still there. And, like when I relived being lowered into a grave on top of a partially decomposed body, When I did that, I was there.
I could see it. I had sort of faint flashbacks coming through and the abreaction, which is the feelings and thoughts associated with the original abuse, they're equally as painful as the original abuse. There's no difference. And it's important to know that the brain registers psychological pain as physical pain. I heard a neurologist speak on radio one time, a top neurologist from America, and he said oh I hypothesise that, you know, the brain does register physical pain as psychological pain and I went 'yeah duh, I knew that!' So to leave a person who's in a state of psychological agony and mock them or laugh at them or whatever it happens in psych hospitals in Australia and I experienced that or surrenders.
It's the same as leaving someone who is smashed up in a car accident on the side of the road without giving them any sort of pain killer. It really is a travesty in Australia that mental health staff don't understand the relationship between psychological and physical pain. Know that the side effects of effective therapy include vertigo, as I said, nausea, I was throwing up quite a bit, heart reaction. So when when you're going through and remembering, being flatlined and, you know, having your heart targeted physically, then when you relive that, your heart will respond just like when you were going through it when you were a child. So I had tachycardia, I had chest pain, that it was not panic attack.
I have had a panic attack when I was very young. That's it's not the same thing. Also the side effect that you've got to be most wary of is in post suicidal ideation. What you have to know is and I'll talk about this in detail next but you have to know that beware of suicidal ideation. It is not your own personal feelings and desires.
You don't want to commit suicide yourself. You know victims usually want to live and these programs that perpetrators are able to implement include feeling suicidal, whenever you go to recall a memory. So let's focus a bit on the suicide programming. So every file within the victim's programming is protected by a suicide program. Okay.
So every major file with without file. So you know therapists are gonna constantly come up against this suicidal ideation. Memory recall is the trip suicide trigger. So working on memories is guaranteed to bring up suicidal thoughts in in the client. So to permanently disarm that suicide trigger, you have to process the memory and I recommend via MDR and art and every act the feelings.
So you have to express what happened to you and feel the feelings and the thoughts that you had at the time of the abuse. If you don't do this, if you don't immediately process the memory, then your symptoms are going to get worse and, you know, the client will increasingly become at risk. So it's very important to for therapists to be aware of this and be on the lookout for this cycle, which is guaranteed to be there. So just to emphasize the importance of bilateral stimulation On top of the EMDR and art therapy, in between therapy sessions I would be recommending you swim. Swimming is phenomenal for cognitive processing.
I could feel the trauma dissolve away and just completed the integration process as I was doing laps. If you're not a very good swimmer or strong swimmer, I mean you can always go for lessons and and improve. If you don't like having to turn your head, I mean I couldn't because I was getting vertigo all the time, you get these snorkels and so you just get a set of fins, short fins, which keep you buoyant if you're not a great swimmer and a snorkel and, it's you're away. And I used to like the fact that I could block out all sensory input by keeping my head underwater and, it's that you have to do freestyle, I find. It's that bilateral stimulation that comes from using both arms.
So typing, like I said, typing is a bilateral activity and the the writing and expressing myself in between sessions, helped to process the trauma and the memories and of course art. I mean as I said, art therapy was invaluable, to draw and you don't have to be good at art. People think you have to be an artist to do art therapy. No, that's not the point of art therapy. It's supposed to be art as psychotherapy.
So it doesn't matter if you can only draw stick figures. The the important thing is that you draw and I always say to people draw, draw, draw. If stuff comes up in between sessions and you can't get to your therapist for whatever reason, draw it. It's amazing how much subconscious material will manifest on a piece of paper. You just go out and buy those fat kindergarten crayons, just buy some kids materials, get some butchers paper or even you know really large photocopying paper if you can or even if you've only got a little bit of a 3 photocopying paper just who cares?
Just so so long as you start drawing and even if you only have textures, as long as you've got a range of colours to choose from, at least a dozen colours to choose from. That's the important thing and, I find if just on the back of your piece of paper you write the date and the order that you did the drawings in, so if you want to take them into your therapist you can show them. But just I find the trick is to relax and you say to yourself, just guess, just guess, just guess what might have happened. It doesn't have to be right. You could write, you could draw anything.
It doesn't matter. What will manifest eventually, what will come through is the truth. It always does. So as I say these activities in between sessions facilitate debrief so it helps you get over the trauma of the therapy session. Sometimes I I really need to sleep after a session and I'd wake up with, my brain, more integrated, which is what sleep does and it's like I say, it's the active cognitive processing, which is which is what these activities all have in common.
So I'm going to give you an example of what I did in therapy. This is a sample session and it was the final significant therapy session that I ever had and it was the session in which I reached the core program, which was the attachment violation when I was 5 that was committed by Giddinger. Now as I say I planned my therapy, there was no expert in Australia. Believe me I looked and so I did lots of study and lots of practice and I got to the point where I could, to a large extent, plan and conduct my own therapy. I just needed a therapist there sometimes to hold my hand and and I would instruct her as to what to do and she fought that but in the end it turns out I was actually right in what I was doing.
So I'm going to read this session, this is from an email I sent my therapist. It shows my dark side as a client. I'm not saying I was an angel by any means and this this is a good example of how difficult it is dealing with victims of VIP trafficking, mind control, ritual abuse, somebody who's high IQ, this is what you have to deal with. So the session email read, this is what I need to do, I need to deal with the attachment violation. Whatever getting a deed to abuse this phenomenon has risen to the surface of my consciousness.
It's preventing me from functioning. Unfortunately, I must endure more pain before I can deal with it. I can't concentrate, study, function in this state of distraction. Anticipation of this planned remedy is all that is sustaining me right now. I need a double session ASAP.
I'm getting John, that's my husband, to download the footage of Gineer. Join the several segments of his speaking. Repeat this footage over and over on a loop and place the loop footage on a DVD then I need you to do the MDR. As soon as you've done the MDR, I need John to play the getting a footage on our TV. I need you to do the EMDR three times, allowing me to process and react between each dose.
I do not want you to refuse to repeat the MDR no matter what you perceive my reaction to be. I know exactly what I'm doing and you must trust me. My heart will certainly hold up. I was fine even during the flatlining regression. It is just a simulation and not the real thing, if that makes sense.
You and John must John must not touch me during any of this unless I tell you to. You must not talk during this process because saying the wrong thing pulls me out and prevents me from revisiting the place I need to see. I don't want to be grounded in any way to the present, and by grounding I mean when she would hold my hand to keep me present. I must not I must be allowed to completely relive this one. Do not tell me that it's over or to just let it be there, don't fight it.
These instructions are and have always been counterproductive and inapplicable to what I'm doing. I suspect I must travel travel back through 3 layers of programmed walls to reach the attachment programming. If we screw this up, I will only have to start all over again, and I will not be able to move forward until this process is achieved. I anticipate this will rip open the attachment programming. If I have getting his voice playing on the loop in the background, I should be able to trick myself and steer my mind to locate the memory.
I don't care how exhausting or dangerous it looks. It is only me revisiting the past. I know when this is happening that I'm not actually there. I'm more than prepared for this. I am in no way at risk.
You just need to trust me and follow my instruction. So that's it. So as you can see, I was, a flippant nightmare to work with, but, I was right in in, what I was saying and it it worked. So I knew what to do. I planned it.
It was this was 20 years in the planning really and, we did exactly what I said and it was very effective and I did reach the attachment violation, committed by getting her. And it was it was like in the end when we did MDR, I could actually consciously steer my brain to where I wanted to go and visit the memories that I wanted to visit. My therapist didn't know what the heck was going on usually, and she did last long enough that she, you know, got me to the end, of of where I needed to go and, but it was really hard going on her and it it it nearly broke her and, you know, I've I've I regret that, but at the same time, I like I say, it's a roller coaster ride that you can't get off until you finish and I was certainly reaching the end no matter what. One of the most surprising questions I got from victims in America and Australia was, what should I integrate? Now to me, it was a no brainer.
I hadn't even had to put into words my reasons for integration until people ask me that. So I'm going to discuss the pros and cons of successful integration. Integration reduces, and sometimes it completely eliminates certain symptoms. So the symptoms that it very much reduced, was anxiety and depression. I'm probably still a bit prone to those feelings but I think that's to do with normal everyday reactions to, ongoing victimisation at the hands of New South Wales Police and the people they that the pedophile network employ to harass the hell out of me and my family, you know, they still try and kill my pets and and, try and attack me and set me up.
So, it's very hard to know what is residual, emotional feelings as opposed to what's just, you know, a normal reaction to people attacking me still to this day. I no longer have severe flashbacks, thought flooding. I'm not easily triggered. I prior to this, I could have been very easily triggered by my abuse and, I would have still been moderately susceptible to someone using programmed triggers to, try and access me, although that really didn't work very well with me. I remember one person that, years ago after I dealt with the first half of my abuse, the ritual side mainly and, we supposedly was taking me out to do 9.
This is before I was married and and we're sitting down looking at artwork, and suddenly he leaned forward to me and said, Beazer Bob, lord of the flies, like, out of the blue. And that would normally be a trigger, but it had already been broken. I just turned around and said, what the hell has that got to do with the price of fish? So, what you find is once you've completely integrated, you notice when you're getting these random people who are involved in Luciferian ritual abuse or, in the system and they come up to you and they'll randomly say things on the street to you to to trigger you. They'll use program trigger words or they'll phone you up or there'll be, you know, some sort of like flashing of lights in your house and all this sort of stuff, you know, they'll get to your fuse box and, and and turn your lights on and off and that that's how victims are triggered and you will no longer react to that if you've been integrated properly.
You might still be a little bit triggered by seeing things that are, you know, reminiscent of your abuse, but there's no comparison. I mean, when I was extremely vulnerable in the 8 months that the portal to my past was open, when I was triggered, I could end up jumping to the side of the room and in a corner, in a fetal position, screaming and in shock. So, certainly that's never going to happen again. I I don't dissociate anymore, like I did. I might dissociate a little bit with trauma, but it's the normal dissociation that any human being who's not been through ritual abuse mind control would go through.
So if I if I had if I was given some delivered some shocking news like a death in my family or something like that, of course I'm going to dissociate, that's normal. So but I don't have the the over the top dissociation that I used to have. Mood swings, I don't, I do not shift in between, sort of personalities that I used to, which manifested as mood swings, that just doesn't happen and my family have noticed that and my friends, you know, they they've noticed, they say it's just absolutely remarkable how much I've changed and that's the best feedback is from you, your family and your decent friends. So I asked my daughter, I turned around when I was writing the conference slides and I said, oh, tell me what have you noticed? Is there any give me some feedback.
Is there any you know, what difference have you noticed? And she just went bang bang bang. She she said, oh, big difference between, reactions based on personality versus your PTSD symptoms. She said she can now see a direct, relationship between cause and effect in terms of, you know, an incident happens and then my emotional reaction to it. Whereas before, you know, nothing would seemingly happen and I'd I'd go off and my family go, what the hell?
You know, they couldn't pin it on anything. And my daughter noticed, my oldest daughter, she noticed that I can now concentrate on a task or conversation longer. So that's her objective observation. She's a very, very clever girl and, so she has a very reliable opinion. So, I no longer have the confusion I used to have.
It's it's disappeared. And I now suffer a little bit of anxiety and depression but that is normal stuff and it's probably to do with hormones. I mean, I'm more than my 47 and you know, approaching menopause and I think there's a bit of that going on. I can get angry, but I no longer see blind rage and I don't overreact anymore. I just don't compared to what I used to, and, well, there's just no it's like chalk and cheese now.
OCD tendencies, you get these in high IQ people anyway because they tend to be perfectionists. I don't have that drive anymore to be obsessive compulsive. It's just not there anymore. So I'm apparently a bit better to live with says my family. My husband might argue against that sometimes, but I think that's just a normal wife, that he's living with now.
To emphasize, the main advantage of integration is there is no mysterious source of nervous system pain. I don't just, immediately feel overwhelmed with pain and I don't sometimes feel teary, you know, and don't know why. All of those feelings that you have usually are linked to unprocessed memories of of seeing terrible things happen to other children that you care about and other people. So I don't have that now and it it's difficult to put into words how things are now. It's like, it's like a veil has been lifted and I see things in in colour now instead of before it was black and white or it was an oversaturation of multiple colours.
It's hard to describe it. Before things were felt a bit too strongly, now everything's quite moderate and I'm I'm not in so much conflict with people. I used somebody once said to me, they're about 17, they're a lot like me and, they specialise in teaching gifted kids or whatever. She says, oh, now in my old age, I see things in more in shades of grey grey where I wasn't. I was always black and white.
And I say that I said, oh, that'll never happen with me. I'm I'm very black and white. Well, I I have to admit she was right. I'm seeing things more in shades of grey. I can compromise a little bit more, but I'm not the type who will compromise when it comes to ethical matters.
I'll die fighting for what I believe is right and you'll never change me on that. Now I don't know if these are actually a list of cons but, some things that need to be acknowledged. Look, integration reduces but does not completely eliminate PTSD symptoms. That's what I've discovered. I was hoping that all my PTSD symptoms would disappear.
Well, they don't, especially if you continue to be victimised, as they do. You're not going to react the same way as you used to before and go into a complete state of lockdown trauma, but you're still going to still able to be triggered and and you will still have that, that that mild PTSD response. The client may still process new memories post integration. I'm still processing memories. I'm still you know, this these people had access to me from age 1 to what was it?
I was 16 turning 17. You know, that's a lot of years of information to process and that's what a therapist says as well, I suppose, Fiona, you've just a lot's happened and you've got a lot to get through. But when I process things now, it certainly is nothing like, what it was before. It lacks the intensity of before. It's similar but it's like a like a shadow of what I went through especially during those 18 months of processing the the military abuse.
A negative is I can't dissociate from normal pain anymore. Like I said, when I was going through childbirth, it would have been quite handy to have not, integrated, before as much as I had because I used to be able to completely dissociate from pain. I did not feel pain as a teenager, just didn't feel it, physical pain. I could be beaten up by my father, but I did never, I never felt felt it. It was nothing.
What I've discovered is life doesn't suddenly, become perfect after integration. I used to always I can remember in my teen years, I used to know, I used to think I just I see that light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to get through the end of the tunnel and everything will be fine. Well, it wasn't fine. Life still can be crap. Stuff still happens and you still feel negative feelings and as my friend Doctor.
Rana Michaelson said, ritual abuse and mind control is a life sentence Fianna and that's the hard reality. I still have people involved in the child abuse network who harass the hell out of me and still pursue me and target me. And, you know, I I I have to live with that on a daily basis. And, of course, they would very much like access to my children, because my children are, what you call bloodline candidates. So those are the cons.
For further information about me, you can go to pedophiles down under.comfianabarnett.org. I also have Facebook pages under the same names. I trust the work of Fritz Springmeier and Carol Ruts. These are the only writings that are consistent with my experience of ritual abuse and mind control. All others I find are usually fakes.
Now I'm providing a list of services that you should avoid and this is based on personal experience or contact with other victims who have accessed these services. So to begin with, in the USA and Canada, definitely avoid Doctor Preston Bailey. I know somebody who attended a conference of his 10 years ago and he was mocking victims at that conference that he was talking at and he was seen with a, MK Ultra sex slave basically dripping off his arm and, the person I know took a bit of a car ride with him and she and her girlfriend were terrified for their lives, in the presence of this monster. So don't believe anything he says and they're some of his people that he's counselling, I see that, one in particular who's genuine has not made much progress in this person's care, and another one's a fake. So, avoid them.
Colin Ross, I have nothing good to say about Colin Ross. I had a therapist come up to me at the conference I presented at, which turned out to be sponsored by Ross, and she said that basically a client of hers was bumped off at Colin Ross's Institute. Further, quite a number of incidents have occurred at the institute with people going in non suicidal and committing suicide in that institute. Now, the whole point of a institute like that is to stop someone from committing suicide because it's obvious that clients will go into a, suicidal phase when they're triggered by memories that are coming up, but that should be managed and people should be supervised. That's the whole point of being institutionalised.
Alison Miller, I'm not impressed. She supervised a particular case that I helped out with in Alaska, and, I really, from firsthand contact with that person, realized that they were giving me misinformation. So Russ Dizdar, this comes from people who have worked with him. Although what he presents on his websites, etc is sound apparently, what happens when you enter into a counselling situation is completely different to, what you experience when you just listen to this person's teachings which, you know, sound reasonable. In Australia avoid like the plague anybody associated with Bond University.
I made the mistake of going to a, psychologist who had graduated from Bond and she wrote a disgusting report for Victim Services New South Wales saying that I murdered my grandfather. I was actually in Brisbane when my step grandfather, was suicided by the pedophile ring. His autopsy report noted suicide by hanging and she was taken before a board, an ethical board, and forced to change that report. Basically I've I'm I graduated from Bonjini and I can say that it's infiltrated by, lusivirian pedophiles and people who like to cover up pedophilia and lecturers who write and publish pro pedophilia material and teach pro Elizabeth Loftus materials in their classrooms. I would not trust anybody who has relied solely upon their education from Bond University, and it's up to the discretion of the individual.
David and Raelene Thompson from Watchtower Ministry South Australia. David Thompson is, ex military. He I had personal experience with him. I was pressured to go down and attend sessions with him and on about the 3rd day he became verbally abusive, asked sexually inappropriate questions and raised his voice at me and was basically, I think, trying to trigger me to dissociate. He was an absolute disgrace and a monster and he should be shut down And I only just escaped from there narrowly, I think.
Braveheart's is fake. Don't go there. I've had a lot of personal association with con with Braveheart's and contact through my, sister-in-law, who associated with them. They basically are information gatherers and, they say that they help survivors but they don't. I've had multiple people victims contact me complaining about Bravehearts and how they're treated through them and if you look at Sarah Monaghan who won a case against the Hey Dad Pedophile on set, her biography will document her grievance with Bravehearts.
Bravehearts basically sabotaged her case and and nearly shut it down and that's what they tend to do I've found. I don't trust Liz Mulliner and Heal For Life. I don't trust them because of victim testimony to me and because Liz Mulliner was actually the person who worked with a lot of my perpetrators in the theatre scene and she was very close with Anthony Kidman and Nicole Kidman and that group and how she and and and the theater that, John Bell, one of my perpetrators associated with. So how on earth she wouldn't have known that everybody was being abused, through that scene, is beyond me. Blue Knot Foundation, formerly ASCA, was very poorly managed in the past and I don't think anything has changed, so I wouldn't trust anyone in that organisation with my information.
So I there's a lot of others I wouldn't trust either. I have question marks over any Australian hospital that says they specialize, in DID such as Belmont in Brisbane and various organisations. I wouldn't go near a psychiatric facility in Australia. I usually find they're infiltrated by perpetrators. It may not be all the staff in the organisation, but it only takes one to get to you and trigger you if you haven't been integrated And that's a big advantage of integration is, you know, not so at risk of being accessed by these perpetrators.
So that's it. That's the basic content of my Seattle conference with some changes and some enlightenment that I've had since being over there some conclusions, analysis of my experience look I hope that that helps victims to at least identify whether or not the therapist they're with, has potential for helping them to heal. I hope it by watching what I've been through, Other victims can identify with at least something in, what I experienced and I hope it helps steer them in the right direction towards healing.
reSee.it AI Summary
Satanic/Ritual Abuse techniques in MKULTRA Research and ongoing programs are supported by exemptions in Ritual Abuse Statutes. Strip away the mystifying language, and it becomes clear that these techniques serve as a means to achieve large-scale behavioral modification.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
If you don't believe that Satanic / Ritual Abuse techniques were used in MKULTRA Research and are still used in ongoing programs, ask yourself why Ritual Abuse Statutes specifically provide exemption for State/Federal Research Projects!!! Take away the mystifying, taboo wording... all you are left with is a process, a set of techniques, which are used as a means to an end for the purposes of behavioral modification on a grand scale.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐭𝐞 - 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝 https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/fulltext.asp?DocName=072000050K12-33 (720 ILCS 5/12-33) (from Ch. 38, par. 12-33) Sec. 12-33. Ritualized abuse of a child. (a) A person commits ritualized abuse of a child when he or she knowingly commits any of the following acts with, upon, or in the presence of a child as part of a ceremony, rite or any similar observance: (1) actually or in simulation, tortures, mutilates, or sacrifices any warm-blooded animal or human being; (2) forces ingestion, injection or other application of any narcotic, drug, hallucinogen or anaesthetic for the purpose of dulling sensitivity, cognition, recollection of, or resistance to any criminal activity; (3) forces ingestion, or external application, of human or animal urine, feces, flesh, blood, bones, body secretions, nonprescribed drugs or chemical compounds; (4) involves the child in a mock, unauthorized or unlawful marriage ceremony with another person or representation of any force or deity, followed by sexual contact with the child; (5) places a living child into a coffin or open grave containing a human corpse or remains; (6) threatens death or serious harm to a child, his or her parents, family, pets, or friends that instills a well-founded fear in the child that the threat will be carried out; or (7) unlawfully dissects, mutilates, or incinerates a human corpse. (b) The provisions of this Section shall not be construed to apply to: (1) lawful agricultural, animal husbandry, food preparation, or wild game hunting and fishing practices and specifically the branding or identification of livestock; (2) the lawful medical practice of male circumcision or any ceremony related to male circumcision; (3) any state or federally approved, licensed, or funded research project; or (4) the ingestion of animal flesh or blood in the performance of a religious service or ceremony. (b-5) For the purposes of this Section, "child" means any person under 18 years of age. (c) Ritualized abuse of a child is a Class 1 felony for a first offense. A second or subsequent conviction for ritualized abuse of a child is a Class X felony for which an offender who has attained the age of 18 years at the time of the commission of the offense may be sentenced to a term of natural life imprisonment and an offender under the age of 18 years at the time of the commission of the offense shall be sentenced under Section 5-4.5-105 of the Unified Code of Corrections. (d) (Blank). (Source: P.A. 99-69, eff. 1-1-16.)
Illinois General Assembly - Illinois Compiled Statutes720 ILCS 5/12-33
Illinois Compiled Statutes Table of Contents
ilga.gov
reSee.it AI Summary
A whistleblower has presented evidence linking the Iran Contra scandal with an international crime ring involving the Bush and Clinton families. The crimes go beyond drug smuggling and include child trafficking, sleeper assets, and blackmail operations. The whistleblower's claims are supported by documentation. Another individual shares their own experience at a private airstrip related to the PEGASUS project. The posts also mention the MKULTRA and Project Monarch programs, Epstein, and the deep state.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Whistleblower presented evidence linking Iran Contra / Oliver North and Co. scandal with an international crime ring including the Bush and Clinton families. It is MUCH WORSE than just drug smuggling, this ties in with child trafficking, sleeper assets, and blackmail operations https://t.co/EvZImI4HuZ
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Note the Endnote - documentation and MORE was provided. Just one of many that have spoken out over the years. Now it's me. From 2007-2009 I was stationed at a private airstrip set up in the early 80s by cherrypicked 160th and other operators/units for PEGASUS. In 2014, another https://t.co/roK5IJJ6U4
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
PEGASUS MKULTRA MK ULTRA PROJECT MONARCH PROGRAM CHILD TRAFFICKING EPSTEIN DEEP STATE FIND THIS WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR ABOVE THREAD AAAAND: @threadreaderapp unroll
reSee.it AI Summary
After a decade of silence due to retaliation and loss of life, I am speaking publicly again. I have been involved in running hits for corrupt politicians and working with response and recovery teams. I believe that SSCI, House Oversight, and others are corrupted. I have more information from 2014 and I am willing to show proof in Nashville to those who are able to help without risking their families. There is a setup called Hunter Field related to the Iran Contra Affairs and Pegasus. There is also a house with a private launch pad near a dried-up lake bed called Hunter Lake.
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Speaking publicly again after going dark for a decade following retaliation with significant loss of life I ran hits for corrupt politicians etc and worked with NRT response and recovery teams re: UAP and related SSCI, House Oversight, and others involved are corrupted https://t.co/QK0xZ5KzQs
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
So much more - this is all from 2014 before I went dark following retaliation. I've had random people call it all fake (ha) but if anyone is able bodied and wants to help or has resources - and doesn't have family that can become collateral damage - I'll SHOW you in Nashville https://t.co/YYAqSNHEB8
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
Hunter Field - Setup in the early 80's for IRAN CONTRA AFFAIRS and PEGASUS https://t.co/aL3LJMjX9C
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
House w/ Private Launch Pad ~ dried up Hunter Lake Bed surrounded by brush - path/house/shed shown on previous post https://t.co/lNSPZfXVth
reSee.it AI Summary
In a shocking revelation, a whistleblower exposes the dark nexus between child trafficking, MK Ultra programs, and UFO/UAP investigations. This insider sheds light on the intricate web of operations, revealing the hidden truth behind these black projects. #Whistleblower #ChildTrafficking #MKUltra #UFOs
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
A Whistleblower's Whistleblower: Shadow Government Regional Operations Manager / Childhood Conditioned Assassin/Body Launderer TELLS ALL on HOW AND WHY Child Trafficking and MK Ultra Behavioral Modification Programs tie into UFO/UAP/Black Projects https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFUAcddUy4uM4yJvseq9rpqoZevop-FBx&si=5sGsnuIaY4GLtMVd
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey
@GreyAreaMonarch - Grey