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@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Two years into marriage my wife & I said the D-WORD often. Seven years later & my wife said recently it’s BETTER THAN THE HONEYMOON! Here’s a few BIG changes that helped our marriage, friendship & passion thrive again!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
1) Never have big issue talks via text. You can’t communicate intent on text. We only text positive & easy stuff now. If there’s a big issue the text is I love you let’s talk soon. Far too many times we got into difficult talks via text. It never went well.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
All our texts now are light, encouraging & uplifting….. with of course the occasional X-rated ones :) I think this applies to any relationship too. If you are having a disagreement don’t ANGRILY text back & forth. Calmly say let’s talk it out face to face.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
2) Never involve outside people in our marriage. What happens is: Your friends, family or co-workers VALIDATE your side because they love you & you’re the one telling the story through YOUR lens. This leads to entrenching instead of open communication & finding middle ground.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I hate to admit this, but men learn from me: Early in our marriage when my wife & I would disagree on parenting or any issue I would call my mom or tell co-workers all the reasons I was right. They would validate me of course, I was the one telling MY SIDE of the story.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Simultaneously my wife would talk to her mom or friends & they would validate her. Then, when we would sit & talk we both were coming with loaded guns & lots of ammo from outside sources. THIS IS WRONG. When I went from a cringy boy to a man I ended this across the board.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I emailed our family saying I loved them & we appreciated all their advice & wisdom but from here on out every issue in our marriage was ours alone. We were going to become ONE & grow together without the influence of outside opinions & voices. GAME CHANGER.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
3) We say SAME TEAM. My wife started this. You’re going to disagree. Acknowledge that. Life can be hard. Young kids, lack of sleep, jobs, long hours, it’s hard on you both. Start every day with a kind word to each other.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Thanks for working so hard to provide for our family & being a great dad when you’re home. Thanks for giving our kids amazing days & taking care of our home. I appreciate all you do. Start out on a positive note & if challenges do arise say SAME TEAM before engaging.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
As a married couple you should have the same long term vision, goals & plan for your lives. Don’t lose sight of this. Always give them the BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT that they have your best interests at heart. SAME TEAM! It’s not you vs them. It’s YOU TWO VS THE PROBLEM.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
4) Mandatory date nights every week. It’s shameful looking back but I went out with my buddies, co-workers & kids but never just my wife after we got married. I stopped dating her. I stopped pursuing her. I remember the day I sat her down & apologized for this.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I told her to prepare for adventure again! I told her to prepare for fun, laughs, excitement & passion again. I told her until I take my last breath I’m going to keep pursuing her & keep dating her. We have a lot of fun ignoring our kids several hours a week & dating now! https://t.co/CJoeT4CL57
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I’ll hear pushback on this from wives especially. We can’t leave our kids we love them too much. If you love them so much then model what an ON FIRE MARRIAGE looks like so they think that’s normal. Kids are perceptive. Show them what a healthy relationship looks like!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I once had a wise mentor tell me marriage is like two people in row boats going across the ocean. The waves (stresses of life) will naturally drift them apart unless they INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE daily to row back towards one another. It was a powerful image for me. https://t.co/ssZTMaSiP0
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I look back on the last 4 years of our marriage. We have: •Fostered 7 babies. •Adopted 2 amazing, wild boys. •Moved our family cross country. •Went through a strange pandemic. •Transitioned from corporate to being my own boss. And grown CLOSER through it all! ❤️ https://t.co/DoRVXzR18l
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
We are SOLD get married & live happily ever after since we are 5 years old. That’s a lie & the reason we see a very high percentage of marriages end in divorce. Sadly, even those that stay together often drift apart & become more ROOMMATES than passionate lovers & best friends.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
When you say I DO the real work begins. Men often get comfortable. We got the girl, got the cushy job, the nice home & we quit growing & pursuing her. Women often follow that lead & get too comfortable too. I challenge you today to start fresh again. Laugh, grow & connect!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Thanks for reading. I’ve coached HUNDREDS of men & seen many go from: •Roommates to PASSION •OK marriages to ON FIRE I’m starting a 3rd cohort in February & going to walk men through 10 weeks of zooms & daily chat with me to create ON FIRE marriages! DM me MARRIAGE for info. https://t.co/XuHkfuduWR
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Four years ago my family cancelled: •Hulu •Netflix •HBO GO •Cable TV •Deleted all “news” apps We unplugged from what SOCIETY told us was important & focused ONLY on what we knew was important. •Faith •Fitness •Family •Finances •Friendships Here’s the results:
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
1) Our family saved $130/month by canceling these services. Four years ago we got paid TWO ways each month. •My salary •Wife’s salary Last month we got paid 17 different ways!! With the extra time & endless resources available to us (Twitter, YouTube, mentors) we learned!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I fired my corporate job 3 years ago & “work” on only things I love with people I love. Turns out it’s 100x more FULFILLING learning & working on things you feel passionate about than mindlessly zoning out every night. Our PASSIVE income now covers 75% of our monthly expenses!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
2) I am in the best shape of my life 3 weeks from 40. We have three young kids. I’m a very hands on dad. But without OBSESSING over sports, watching Netflix nightly & being PROGRAMMED by the news I create TIME everyday to workout, walk & stay active. Health is the real wealth.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I recently completed 5 MURPHS in a day & did a 100,000 steps in a day. The best thing is my kids have followed suit! They don’t see dad SITTING & ZONING OUT TO TV. They think it’s NORMAL to be active, healthy, outside & playing! All parents need to take this role seriously.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
3) My marriage & family life are on fire! My wife & I used to “connect” by watching a show, playing on our phones & sitting in silence every night. Now we take walks, bike rides, read & learn together, connect & talk about OUR DREAMS & future. Get off devices more & BE WHERE YOUR FEET ARE!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
We had a family come visit us a while back. Their kids asked without TV what do you do?! •Soccer •Puzzles •Wrestle •Build forts •Relay races •Family walks •Board games •Explore parks •Dance parties •Sidewalk chalk •Squirt gun battles •Play outside everyday WE LIVE!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
4) My Faith has exploded. I replaced Netflix with watching/listening to 3-4 sermons a week. I read the Bible every day. I was a lukewarm Christian before this. I could’ve told you all about the Cardinals draft picks or argued why Jordan is better then LeBron. (He is!)
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
But I was never STILL. I was busy with a show, reading propaganda news or sports. I never listened for God. I never carved out time to intentionally seek & grow my faith. I went to church. I gave God AN HOUR a week. I gave shows & sports 30. I’ve witnessed many miracles now.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
5) If I’m being honest I’ve lost or grown apart from some friends since this drastic switch. I know even now some will read this, get defensive & decide I’m an idiot & they aren’t going to entertain this. (Give me another 1 minute!)
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
But the relationships I have have grown so much deeper. Instead of JUST small talk about sports or shows my friends & I talk: •Growing as leaders •Creating income streams •Being better dads & husbands •How our souls & eternal lens are It’s real life. It’s better.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Please understand I am saying this EXTREME approach worked for me & my family. I was on the brink of divorce 6 years ago. I was lazy, low energy, stuck in a job I didn’t like with a dad bod. I was a passenger in life. I knew I wasn’t living how I could live, I was EXISTING.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
So NO I don’t think this all or nothing approach works for everyone. In fact, I wouldn’t recommend it to 90% of people. I would just ask you to pause a moment. Could you swap ONE show with a sermon? Could you swap morning “news” for a walk? What’s YOUR best life look like?
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I’m assuming not one HUMAN that’s ever walked earth sat on their DEATHBED & thought I wish I had watched Game of Thrones one more time through…… So reverse engineer your life. Ask yourself some questions today. What really matters to you? TIME is limited for us all.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I have no clue what Trump is doing or Biden is doing ever. I have missed out on what FICTIONAL CHARACTERS are doing for the last four years. I wouldn’t trade a single second of it for the moments I’ve created with my wife, family & friends.
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
I get asked a lot Ty don’t you feel uninformed being unplugged? Honestly, not once. If a story is big enough it FINDS YOU. 99% of the crap they feed you is a DISTRACTION & doesn’t affect you. No Politician can save you or even help you the way YOU CAN HELP YOURSELF!
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
So help yourself today by swapping around a few key daily habits & asking yourself what’s truly important! Thanks for reading. I never say my way is the right way for anyone else but me. I hope YOU live your best life & FOCUS on what truly matters to you! All blessings. 🙏❤️
@tyromper - Tyler Todt
Additional resources: How we created income streams & I fired my corporate job: 👇 youtu.be/oX5D1QzJ21M My FIT FATHER devotional -4 day week workouts. -Videos of me firing you up. -Devotionals, free date ideas & more. 👇 https://tyler-todt.webflow.io/product/fit-fathers Use code FIT for 50% off!
