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@RobotPolisher - ▄︻デʀօɮօȶ քօʟɨֆɦɛʀ═══━一
👽 The *Last* Card 🛸 https://t.co/wo9xG8esvC
Video Transcript AI Summary
In 1974, I was introduced to the late Doctor Wernher von Braun in the U.S., the father of rocketry. He would repeat to me over and over, and the last card, the last card, the last card would be the extraterrestrial threat. And they're all lies. There is no threat. It's all based on a lie. Space. There'll be a lot of things happening in space.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: In 1974, I was introduced to the late Doctor. Wernher von Braun in The U. S, the father of rocketry. He would repeat to me over and over, and the last card, the last card, the last card would be the extraterrestrial threat. And they're all lies.
There is no threat. It's all based on a lie. Space. There'll be a lot of things happening in space.
@LaineyWasi - Elaine Ben Moha🍊
Master of Disguise🔥🐸🇺🇸 https://t.co/xcLdLIGri4
Video Transcript AI Summary
The speaker discusses the Democrats' alleged motive behind allowing a riot to happen at a Trump rally. They mention being questioned by the FBI about plotting to overthrow the government and being associated with certain groups. The speaker also mentions being audited by the IRS and receiving a letter about a $10 discrepancy in their federal income taxes, which could result in fines or imprisonment if not paid within 30 days.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: And have these speeches every month like clockwork. What an embarrassment that would be. So the Democrats had to post the security and let a riot happen and let somebody get die so they could stop these rallies, so they could say, see, Trump rallies are dangerous. People get killed. Yeah.
Who gets killed? We He get killed. But also, on top of that, the FBI, when they came to my house, they wanted to know if I was plotting on overthrowing the government. Wow. Now what am I supposed to answer to that?
Oh, yeah. I am actually. Yeah. But but they wanted to know if I breached the capital. I said, I think you guys let me know.
You guys have been and they wanted to know if I was a member of the Proud Boys. Do I look like a Proud Boy? Do I look like I would get fighting with that t button now. And or if I was a member of QAnon. But but then I I've been audited now.
The first time in my life, after that incident, I was, and they came to my house twice. After that incident Yeah. I know. Well, the well, the first time I wasn't there, and they just scared the bejesus and my 93 year old father, and they wouldn't tell him who they were. And he said these men in Suits came looking for you, and they had your picture, and they wanted to know if you lived here.
I'm like, what do you tell them, dad? He goes, yeah. He lives here. That's my son. Who are they?
I don't know. They wouldn't tell me. But then I got audited by the IRS. And those bastards did I say that? Let us bastards tell tell me that 5 years ago, 5 years ago, they had calculated that I'd me get paid my federal income taxes by $10.
And I got this letter if I didn't pay the $10 within 30 days, I could face substantial fines or imprisonment
@Naturegirl571 - NatureGirl
X-Files- https://t.co/E88g4mWFKD
Video Transcript AI Summary
In this video, Tad O'Malley claims that people have had their DNA tampered with without their knowledge. Agent Einstein dismisses it as science fiction, but Agent Mulder believes it cannot be discounted. They discuss the Spartan virus, which removes a gene from the DNA, weakening the immune system. The virus uses a process called CRISPR Cas9 to cut genes. They suspect a government conspiracy to depopulate the planet and take over America. They mention various tactics, such as weather wars, aerial contaminants, and surveillance. The video ends with the mention of a security action and the detonation of electromagnetic pulse bombs.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Imagine, but it's just a TV show. Right?
Speaker 1: Are part of a larger conspiracy. A conspiracy of men hiding science for almost 60 years. Secrets kept from the American people by a self interested cabal intent on the consolidation of power both at home and on a perilously global scale. But questions remain unanswered. When and where these men might play out their dark plans?
Tad O'Malley has been making claims.
Speaker 0: Claims about what?
Speaker 1: You and everyone you know has a piece of DNA in your genome Put there without your knowing it. Was it by whom? Well, that's the question of the day. This is
Speaker 2: an Internet lunatic. You're not saying you believe him.
Speaker 0: Just hold on, Agent Einstein. You're talking to a scientist.
Speaker 2: Forgive me, assistant director. It may sound insensitive, but the suggestion is pure science fiction.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying, agent Einstein, is that the facts, as I understand them, cannot be discounted out of hand. Counted out of hand.
Speaker 2: No one has the right or the ability to tamper with your DNA
Speaker 1: unless we gave them that ability. When you
Speaker 2: say they're tampering with our DNA, that they're able to shut down our immune systems by the addition of something to our DNA.
Speaker 1: Yes. I don't know how exactly.
Speaker 2: How it's being triggered. I don't know that either. Or why it's happening now. What can we possibly do?
Speaker 1: We need to Act quickly.
Speaker 2: You were right about that.
Speaker 1: Well, I was wrong about the science. I was wrong about what's causing it. Dead wrong, in fact.
Speaker 2: But it's clearly a widespread Failure of our immune systems.
Speaker 1: Through gene tampering. A virus within a virus that was put there through the smallpox vaccine is what these men are calling the Spartan virus.
Speaker 2: We have to figure this out. What's wrong with the science?
Speaker 1: Okay. The Spartan virus removes the adenosine deaminase gene from your DNA. Remove the ADA gene, and your immune system will Simply that.
Speaker 2: Yeah. But I'm not getting sick.
Speaker 1: It's only a matter of time.
Speaker 2: Okay? So how does it work? How does The virus removed the ADA gene. A process called CRISPR Cas9. RNA and a protein cutting genes at exact locations.
Clean, but in this
Speaker 1: instance, used as a weapon.
Speaker 2: The ultimate weapon. The ability to depopulate the planet, To kill everyone but the chosen
Speaker 1: by tampering with their DNA.
Speaker 0: Through gene editing.
Speaker 1: Why do such a thing and lie about it? Own government.
Speaker 0: Your own government lies as a matter of course, as a matter of policy, the Tuskegee experiments on black men in the thirties, Henrietta Lacks.
Speaker 1: What are they trying to do?
Speaker 0: Ask the missing piece.
Speaker 3: But it's not hard to imagine a government hiding, hoarding technology for 70 years at the expense of human life and the future of the planet, Driven not only by corporate greed, but a darker objective.
Speaker 0: The takeover of America.
Speaker 4: And then the world itself, by any means necessary, however violent or cruel or efficient, by severe drought brought on by weather wars conducted secretly using aerial contaminants and high altitude electromagnetic waves in a state of perpetual war to create problem reaction solution scenarios to distract, enrage, and enslave American citizens at home with Tools like the Patriot Act and the National Defense Authorization Act, which abridge the constitution in the name of national security, of police forces in cities across the US, the building of prison camps by the Federal Emergency Management Agency with no stated purpose, the corporate takeover of food and for pharmaceuticals and health care, even the military, in clandestine agendas to fatten, dull, sicken, and control a populace already consumed by consumerism.
Speaker 0: And I encourage you all to go shopping more.
Speaker 4: A government that taps your phone, collects your data, and monitors your whereabouts with impunity, A government preparing to use that data against you when it strikes and the final takeover begins
Speaker 1: The takeover of America.
Speaker 4: By a well oiled and well armed multinational group of elites that will cull, kill, and subjugate.
Speaker 1: Happening as we sit here.
Speaker 3: It's happening all around us.
Speaker 0: The other shoe
Speaker 3: The bank will announce a security action necessitating their computers to go offline all weekend.
Speaker 0: Digital money will Disappear.
Speaker 1: They can just steal your money?
Speaker 0: Followed by the detonation of strategic electromagnetic pulse bombs to knock out major grids.
Speaker 3: What will Seemed like an attack on America by terrorists or Russia.
Speaker 1: An invasion of the US.
Speaker 0: The Russians tried it in 47.
@TheMuslimSaiyan - The Muslim Saiyan
@BBCWorld - BBC News (World)
Hind Rajab, 6, found dead in Gaza days after phone calls for help https://bbc.in/3ODkHRn
Bitly | Page Not Found | 404
bbc.in
@GirthyB1 - GirthyB
“Masters of Distraction”🤬🤬 https://t.co/EPD8nYWCwk
Video Transcript AI Summary
The speaker discusses a letter from a Michigan sheriff to Congressman Jordan about election fraud. The sheriff has evidence of foreign nationals accessing voting machines and calls for an immediate congressional investigation. The speaker expresses concern that the letter may be ignored, preventing action on the issue.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Masters of distraction, aren't they? And while the whole country was distracted by Trump's bloodbath comment yesterday, a sheriff from Michigan Dear congressman Jordan, dated March 17, 2024, my office is investigating criminal acts related to elections in Barrie County, the state of Michigan, and the United States. I am in possession of evidence involving voting machines. Additionally, I have recently received a subpoena from prosecutor DJ Hilson of Muskegon County for my file. DJ Hilson worked with the Michigan attorney general to bury the Muskegon fraud investigation that was initially reported by the Muskegon local clerk.
Not one person was charged related to the Muskegon fraud despite confessions and physical evidence. Considering this, I am going to provide portions of my file to congress for immediate review and investigation. Yeah. For safekeeping. My office has come into possession of evidence that foreign nationals have accessed electronic voting machines in Michigan and other states.
This evidence demonstrates that electronic voting machines and electronic election systems used for elections in Michigan and throughout the United States are not secure, and an immediate investigation is needed by Congress. This is such bullshit because I can't even read you the other three pages of that letter. Why? Because he goes into detail about what happened and the evidence that he has. I'm so freaking afraid that people are gonna ignore this, and so Jim Jordan can ignore it too.
@Naturegirl571 - NatureGirl
Stephan Schwartz~ https://t.co/Keb10T0ded
Video Transcript AI Summary
In this video, a researcher discusses his findings from remote viewing the future up to 2050. He predicts major coastal flooding, migrations due to extreme weather, the collapse of the central government, and a shift to AI-driven technology. Energy sources change to small nuclear fusion reactors, and communal living becomes more common. Healthcare is monitored by AI, and consciousness is emphasized. The future involves significant societal changes, with a population decline and a move away from urban areas. The speaker encourages viewers to consider the implications of these future scenarios.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Hey, friends. What if I could tell you with almost certainty what the future would be like? How would that change your life? Well, that's what we're gonna do today. So there's a guy named Stephen Schwartz.
He is a, very prestigious researcher, scientist, and remote viewer, one of the most credible and experienced remote viewers in the world. He's been doing this for decades, specifically for private corporations and for the government and the military. And he has, like, huge teams of remote viewers around the world. I'm talking about over 4,000 people that he would task for specific remote viewing, and then he'll pour through all the data and find, like, trends and and things like that and and be able to decipher and determine specific events and just get a feel for the overall, like, scene, culture, situation in different times. He did this way back in the eighties to see if we were gonna go into a nuclear war back when we were in the cold war with Russia and found some really remarkable stuff that all came out to be true.
So then he started remote viewing further, like he did a 2050 project and then a 2060 project. But the cool thing is, say when he did the 2050 project, you can actually go back in time because when you're remote viewing 2050, you can ask questions and see what happened in the past because the past of 2050 is actually the future of us. You know what I'm saying? So even though he did the 2015,260 project, he has a very good timeline of events from now till then. It's really awesome.
So if you don't know what remote viewing is, it's essentially a way where you use concentrated focused intention, which essentially is like almost like a militarized version of meditation to go to a particular place or time coordinates or something like that, depending on what the data is, and see what's going on there. But you don't see with your eyeballs. You see with your senses. It's called ESP. It's extrasensory perception where you basically get data from your senses like you're there.
It's almost like a piece of your consciousness goes there and reports back what's going on. And usually, you'll sketch out, because just usually the creative part of your brain, the right side of your brain is the best way to interpret that data because it's not an analytical thing. It's a creative thing. It's really cool. And you most people will draw out and write out, what they're seeing.
And the sketches and the drawings are remarkably accurate. It's really awesome. So what he did is he got, like, thousands of people. Right? Trained remote viewers and regular people and had them remote view the exact spot that they're standing in, but in the year 2050.
Gave them an exact date. So these people were like, okay. Like, right now I'm in Florida, and it's raining, of course. And they'd be like, okay. Right now, you know, where I'm standing on this date in 2050, I see this.
Right? And then he's able with each person to sort of guide them as, like, almost like a monitor. Like, okay. Now turn here. What do you see?
Okay. Now pick this up. What do you see? Okay. Now talk to this person.
What do they say? Right? And it's really interesting. And he poured through all that data and here are the most remarkable things that he found. Okay.
So I would say probably the top thing and it's fitting that we're, you know, on this rainy ass day. But one of the biggest things he found was essentially a lot of the country's underwater. Okay. So there's weather is a big part of the our future. Okay?
There's gonna be a lot of different events that lead to pretty catastrophic sea level rise. So if you're anywhere near a coastal line like, for example, there is people that say they're in LA and he's like, okay. What do you see exactly where you are in this day and time and and in this year? They're like, oh, I'm underwater or, you know, I'm up to my waist in water. And then he'll, okay, now, you know, move around, go around, ask people.
And so he was able to kind of figure out what parts of the country are most underwater. It seems that a lot of California's underwater. Seems like a lot of Florida's underwater, which is why I am. Yay. It seems like most of the East Coast, you're talking about Baltimore and New York and and, you know, the Carolinas and places like that, are underwater.
We're not talking about the whole states. We're talking about probably, you know, 20 to 30 miles, inland. And then you're talking about different, you know, sea level rise in different areas depending on your sea level elevation and stuff. So some people were 2 or 3 feet underwater. Some people were 20 feet underwater, completely submerged.
So that's significant. Then that leads to what he calls the 3 migrations. Right? So that there's actually these 3 major migrations having to do with weather. And he doesn't know exactly when this happens.
It's kinda like now till 2040 and then 2040 is big. He said 2040 and 2045, it's bananas. But leading up to that, it gets really nasty too. So there's 3 major migrations. One's coming from the southwest.
So basically, like, the Arizona, Nevada, that area that it's so hot there. The the heat's under out of control, and they're running out of water. So there's a huge migration of people leaving that area because they're melting and there's no freaking water. We're already seeing that with, like, Lake Mead being so low, these rivers drying up and everything, and the the temperature is just rising like crazy there. So he sees places like Phoenix actually having big domes over them and then the other places being completely uninhabitable.
Right? So there's a migration of people leaving there. Then you have a migration of people leaving the Midwest. Right? Because evidently, tornadoes get so bad because the extreme, weather, the hot and the cold is causing these tornadoes that are literally just wiping out towns.
They'll rebuild the towns and then they'll get wiped out again. And then people just got tired of rebuilding towns and living in fear and totally leave the the Midwest of America. And then there's another exodus migration of people leaving all of the East Coast. You're talking about some of the biggest cities in America, you know, Boston and New York and Jersey and Baltimore and DC and all these places that are near the coastlines are all all these people are fled fleeing. So that's significant.
Right? So, I'll do another video about where the safe places to go. But so that's really, I thought, a big deal. Another big takeaway from his future stuff is the collapse of the central government of America. Right?
So, not necessarily through some sort of a civil war type thing, but he sees more so basically the red states and blue states drifting apart in their ideologies and kind of going at it with each other. So maybe a quasi little mini civil war. I don't know. But basically, our central government collapses and states kind of form groups. Right?
So there will be, like, a group of 5 states that will kind of come together and say, okay. We are whatever. And they'll give themselves a name, and they run themselves as sort of like a miniature, you know, country. And you have maybe 5 or 6 or 7 of these throughout America. And so you don't have the central government running things anymore.
You have localized governments running things. So that's interesting, and you can already see the trends there. So that's that's pretty wild. That kinda like the USSR, when they collapsed, you know, into all these individual countries, it's kinda looks like what's gonna happen to America. And we're talking about pretty soon.
We're talking about in the next 10 years or so. Okay? So wild stuff. Another big, thing that he saw was the way everything's powered. So there's no more combustion internal combustion engines.
Everything uses these, like, boxes, which he didn't understand at first, but these, like, little cubes. And so your house has a big cube and your car has a smaller cube. And depending on the size of your car, size of your house, whatever the cubes are, different sizes. And essentially what it seems like looking at current trends is it would be like LENR, l e n r. Basically like small, stable, you know, nuclear fusion reactor type things.
So they're basically able to compartmentalize and turn into these room temperature stable tiny little things that power all of our devices and everything. Right? So no no electricity per se and no gas and stuff like that. So that's really cool, really interesting. When it comes to, like, AI, he said it doesn't, like, take over the world.
We're not like it's not Terminator style or anything, but AI is actually a really big, part of our lives. It drives our cars. Everything is run, through artificial intelligence. So you get in the car, you put the cube on the thing, and then it drives. So everything's kind of automatic, you know.
So that's really cool. So AI is a big part of our lives. We're all monitored by AI. So anytime we have, like, an ailment or something like that, it just alerts your doctor or whatever, you know, and, oh, you you have this thing going on or this is broke or this is wrong or this is elevated. So we're all monitored 247 by AI for health reasons.
And then our, like, modern day kind of hospital system collapses basically because of superbugs, which this isn't good. And, that is a big part of why the hospital system collapses because hospitals become one of the most dangerous places to go. And, you know, we kinda go more to holistic care. He talks about how consciousness is a big deal that we're starting to realize that consciousness is fundamental, and that, you know, it changes the way that we interact with nature, with each other. Really, really neat stuff there.
I talk a lot about all that. That's refreshing to hear. We go into more, like, communal living kind of a thing. People are, like, flushed out of cities because of the the climate disasters and stuff like that. And, more people are living on the land, living in in kind of communities and and kind of villages going back to that that old school way of of doing things.
So that's neat. But it's gonna be a huge transition obviously because most people aren't doing that now. So, so that's kinda cool. And then what else does he talk about? There's so much that he covers.
It's so wild. But, I guess those will be the top ones for for today. So it's pretty neat. So, we're able to see the future, and the future of America is different, way different. There's not a central government.
You know? Everything is powered by some new type of energy that we don't even have right now. People aren't living in the cities because most of them are under water. They're living out in, you know, communal type villages and stuff, you know, making their own food and everything because supply chains all collapsed. You know, so there's no nuclear war.
There's no robots taking over the world or anything. But, you know, he does see a huge population collapse. Huge. Like, we're talking about a 100,000,000 people in America alone gone. And you don't know if it's a superbugs.
You don't know what it is. But there's major changes coming. Some good, some bad. But, anyways, I just thought that this was an interesting kind of peek into the future of America. I've hit my time limit.
Let me know. What do you guys think about everything I just said? Have a beautiful day. Peace.
@PapiTrumpo - il Donaldo Trumpo
DAVE CHAPPELLE KNOWS!!!😎🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/eZJeS7yi7x
Video Transcript AI Summary
Many people wonder why Trump was popular, but I understand because I hear it daily. He's loved in Ohio for being different. In the first debate, he stood out by calling the system rigged, while Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama disagreed. When asked for evidence, Trump admitted to using the system himself. When Clinton criticized his taxes, he cleverly responded that it made him smart and pointed out flaws in the tax code. This moment marked the rise of a new political figure.
Translation: Trump's popularity in Ohio stems from his unique approach in debates, where he criticized the system and defended his tax practices against Clinton's attacks. This set him apart as a new political force.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: A lot of you don't understand why Trump was so popular, but I I get it because I hear it every day. He's very loved. And the reason he's loved is because people in Ohio have never seen somebody like him. That first debate, I've never seen anything like it. I've never seen a white male billionaire screaming at the top of his lungs.
This whole system is ripped, he said. And across the stage was white woman, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama sitting over there looking at him like, no. It's not. I said, now wait a minute, bro. It's what he said.
And the moderator said, well, mister Trump, if in fact the system is rigged as you suggest, what would be your evidence? Remember what he said, bro? He said, I know the system is rigged because I use it. I said, god damn. No one ever heard someone say something that true.
And then Hillary Clinton tried to punch him in the taxes. She said, this man doesn't pay his taxes. He shot right back. That makes me smart. And then he said, if you want me to pay my taxes, then change your tax code.
But I know you won't because your friends and your donors enjoy the same tax breaks that I do. And with that, my friends, the star was born.
@Xx17965797N - Truthseeker
Entertainment👇‼️ https://t.co/zebTeQOgUZ
Video Transcript AI Summary
Entertainment is about holding an audience's attention. Hollywood originates from the holly tree used by ancient druids for spells. Today, TVs in our homes deliver programming that subtly influences us through music, TV shows, movies, and games. We are being programmed without realizing it.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Watch this. Let's start with the word entertainment. To entertain. What does that mean? To bind or hold.
To bind or hold what? An audience's attention. Okay. Now let's take the word Hollywood. Where does that come from?
Well, Hollywood comes from the holly tree, and the ancient druids back in the day used to take the holly tree, make wands to weave spells, cast spells, or channel spells. And when they needed help, they would consult the magis or the mediums of the day to help channel their spells to the population. We'll cut to you today. What do we have in our houses? We have these black boxes.
What are they called? TVs. But if you stop and you say the word, tell a vision, television. And when you turn on that television, what do you get? What's the first thing that pops up?
A list of channels. And when you turn on those channels, what's on those channels? The following program Programming. They are programming you. They've been programming your whole life.
You don't even know it. They do it with your music. They do it with your TV. They do it with your movies. They do it with your games.
They have been programming us and programming you since you were little, and you don't even know it because you don't even question.
@nbcsnl - Saturday Night Live - SNL
Bill Burr’s monologue! https://t.co/EfTahX0gKv
Video Transcript AI Summary
Thank you! It's great to be here. I just recovered from the flu, which got me thinking about who might have given it to me. I suspect it was a shoeless cowboy I sat next to on a flight.
On a different note, ladies, you’re struggling in the political arena. Maybe it’s time to rethink your approach—find a balance between professionalism and charm.
The election dragged on forever, and it’s hard to believe Trump didn’t win earlier. His resilience is impressive, especially after getting shot and still acting fearless.
I recently woke up at 3 AM to Shaquille O'Neal selling printer ink, which was surreal. It’s surprising he’s still working despite his wealth.
We have a great show ahead, so stick around!
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Thank you. Thank you very much. How are you? How's it going? Yes.
Nice to be here on such a fun week. I know. I don't wanna hear it. I don't watch politics. So we're gonna keep it light.
Alright? Here we go. Alright. Well, I just got over the flu, which is fantastic. You know what I mean?
Had it last month. Whenever you have the flu, like, or like COVID, you know, you always lay in bed and you try to, like, figure out who gave it to you. And I'm just going through this Rolodex of people that coughed on you, sniffled near you, walked by an Asian or something. You try to it. You're like, they say on the Internet, that's where all the disease comes from.
I know who gave it to me. I sat next to a shoeless cowboy on an airplane. Guy had no socks or shoes on the whole flight.
Speaker 1: The whole
Speaker 0: flight, I'm sitting there looking at his dirty Jesus feet, and all I'm thinking is the next pandemic is growing in the bottom of his feet. And all I'm gonna be is the next, you know, patient number 2, whatever the next disease is. You know? So I'll tell you what kills me is I looked at the guy, and all I'm thinking is he like, you know what? God made that guy.
You know? And he keeps making that guy. Like, one mouth breathing moron after another. Yet we still go to church on Sunday. What do we do?
We praise him. When is the constructive criticism coming? Like, dude, when's the last time you made a Gandhi? Somebody empathetic, you know? So my problem is I didn't get the flu shot.
You know? I'm old school. I kinda still do the vaccine thing. You know? I know.
Some people like it. Some people don't. You know? I don't know. It's a weird thing though.
If you get it, what do you do? You side with the evil pharmaceutical companies. You know, if you don't, then you're aligned with people who don't wear shoes on an airplane. Alright. Let's get to what you all wanna talk about.
Alright, ladies. You're o and 2 against this guy. O and 2. Alright? But you learn more from your losses than your wins.
So let's get into the game tape. Alright? Ladies, enough with the pantsuit. Okay? It's not working.
Stop trying to have respect for yourselves. You don't win the office, like, on policy. You know? You gotta whore it up a little. I'm not saying go full Hooters, but find the happy medium between Applebee's and your dad didn't stick around.
Alright? You all know how to get a free drink. Okay? And I know listen. I know a lot of ugly women, feminists, I mean, don't wanna hear this message, but just tease him a little bit.
Make a farmer feel like he's got a shot. Swing a state over a little bit. I'll be honest with you. I am so psyched that this stupid election is finally over. It was took forever.
Like, you know? Yeah. Like, everybody knew who they were voting for 4 years ago, and then they just drag you through a year and a half of this stuff. Like, who was sitting there watching the debate, like, still not decided? 2 of the most polar opposite people ever.
It's like, alright. Let's see. What does the orange bigot have to say? How about the real estate agent that speaks through her nose? Oh, it's a this is so difficult.
It's like they overlap. I just can't make up my mind. I'll be honest with you. I can't believe Trump didn't win this thing, like, 4 months ago. You know?
I know that's weird for younger people to hear, but, like, when I was a kid, if you were running for president and you got shot and you didn't die, that was the end of the election. There was nothing you could say. Right? Everybody would just be like, this guy's the man. He is the king.
I don't know. I'll be honest with you. I think the number one reason, like, Trump survived is all those herky jerky movements that he does. He just can't, like, nail the guy down. I gotta be honest.
The guy's a the guy is a lunatic. I mean, he literally got shot and immediately jumped backed up and started yelling in the direction the bullets were coming from unarmed. That's not a sane human being. I would've would've been I would've been on the ground crying in the fetal position, like, alright. Give me the truck.
I don't want this job anymore. Just tell her she won. Tell her she won. But Trump's got all those weird, you know, you know, coming up. I think the guy couldn't get, like, a beat on him.
You know? And, like, right as he pulled the trigger, like, Trump was just like, and the bullet went by his head. My favorite part of the campaign, though, was when when Trump went to McDonald's. Wasn't that amazing? That's the only time I've ever seen that guy truly happy.
Like, he was glowing. When he got behind the counter, it was like he was behind stage at, like like, Springsteen or something. He's like, oh my god. This this is like where they make the French fries. And he was sticking a couple extra in one.
He goes, hey, whoever gets this one's gonna be excited. It's like, oh my god. Was that empathy of the people, Donald? It's like when the Grinch came down the hill bringing the toys back and his heart got a little bigger. Alright.
We'll end on something nice here. I, I fell asleep the other night. You ever fall asleep like watching TV? You, like, leave it on, you know, and you wake up at 3 in the morning and whatever you're watching makes you feel like you're still dreaming? Yeah.
I woke up at 3 in the morning. I swear to God Shaquille O'Neal was selling me printer ink. Standing at
Speaker 1: 7 feet tall. Hi, Shaquille O'Neal. Are you paying too much money for your print ink? Every day, people come up to me, and they say, I'm paying too much money for
Speaker 0: my print. He's holding a printer. It's like the size of a cell phone.
Speaker 1: People come out to me. I'm paying too much money.
Speaker 0: And I'm like, well, I have the solution. Dude, is there no end to that guy's credibility? I thought when he was selling Buicks, that was the end of it. It's laying in that
Speaker 1: little car, the midsize Buick Century.
Speaker 0: This is the most comfortable car I have ever been in. He's got one foot out one window, the other foot out the other. If I was regular size, this is the car I would buy. It blows my mind. Doesn't he even have, like, $1,000,000,000 at this point?
It's like, why are you still working? Take a weekend off, you 9 foot whore. Give somebody else a chance. Alright. That's it.
We got a great show. Stick around. McGee will be here. We'll see you in a minute. Thank you.
Thank you.
@nbcsnl - Saturday Night Live - SNL
The Janitor https://t.co/wN6yq8e4hi
Video Transcript AI Summary
The Fournier equation remains unsolved, and Donnie is tasked with cleaning up a mess. He admits he hasn't cleaned it yet, and the odor is overwhelming. As he attempts to clean, he accidentally spreads the mess, leading to chaos. His colleagues express frustration over his cleaning methods, especially using a mop on carpet. The situation escalates when the Dean arrives, shocked by the mess and Donnie's actions. Despite the chaos, Donnie insists he was just trying to solve the equation. The Dean questions the bizarre circumstances, and it's revealed that Donnie has been living in a supply closet. The scene highlights the absurdity of the situation and the challenges of maintaining order in a chaotic environment.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: The Fournier equation.
Speaker 1: Yes. I'm leaving it up there all semester to see if any of my students can solve it. You are cruel.
Speaker 2: Hey. What
Speaker 0: the hell are you doing in here?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, boss.
Speaker 0: I sent you in here to clean up a box.
Speaker 2: Did you
Speaker 0: clean it up yet?
Speaker 1: No. I haven't yet. Oh.
Speaker 0: Oh my god. It reeks in here, Donnie.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sorry. I'll clean it now. Look.
Speaker 0: The bath. It's right by your feet. You're just standing next to it?
Speaker 1: That's not that bad.
Speaker 0: Not that bad. I'm crying, Donnie. This thing's making me cry.
Speaker 1: Oh, excuse me. I forgot my wait. Did you solve this? Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I didn't know him to. Please. But you just did. No student has ever solved this before. I'm not a student here, sir.
You are now, son. You are now.
Speaker 3: What the hell, Donnie?
Speaker 0: I wanted to take to clean up a freaking barf?
Speaker 3: Ow, Donnie. Oh my god. It's all on my back. The hell you've been doing down here?
Speaker 1: I was doing the Fournier equation.
Speaker 3: The Fournier? Donnie, there's footprints of barf all over the carpet. You've been walking all through it, kid.
Speaker 1: Okay. Sorry. I'll clean it up.
Speaker 0: What are you doing? Don't mop it. You said clean it. It's carpet, Donnie. You don't mop carpet.
Speaker 3: All you're doing is soaking it into the fibers, Donnie. We got powder for that, kid. We got bop powder.
Speaker 0: You gotta know that. Most of what we do here is cleaning up bop.
Speaker 3: This is MIT, Donnie. These nerds stay up all night slamming Mountain Dew and eating Doritos. Then they come in here in the morning, and they bop.
Speaker 1: I tried to clean it with the Roomba.
Speaker 0: The Roomba?
Speaker 3: Oh my god. What did
Speaker 1: you do to Roomba? Okay. I'll pick it up.
Speaker 0: Oh my god. Where did my
Speaker 1: eyes go? Excuse me. What is the meaning of all this commotion?
Speaker 0: Oh, mister Dean, I'm sorry. We just have a little janitor problem.
Speaker 1: Was that the 40 a question? Richard, who did this? He did. Janitor.
Speaker 0: Dear god. But how?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's remarkable. And what is this I'm standing in?
Speaker 0: It's a, bath, sir.
Speaker 2: Mhmm.
Speaker 1: And why is there a bath on the floor?
Speaker 0: He was doing an equation, sir.
Speaker 2: Mhmm.
Speaker 1: It would appear he tried to mop it as well. Yes, sir. Just now. Mhmm. What the hell is wrong with you?
What is it?
Speaker 2: Hey, DD. Relax, sir. Stop it. What's happening? I'm good.
I'm sorry, son. What the hell is wrong with you? What the hell
Speaker 3: is wrong with you? Hey, DD.
Speaker 1: I'm good. I'm sorry, son.
Speaker 2: Just a
Speaker 1: little upset. There's a bar for my shoes. You hit me with a belt. Donnie, it's not your fault. Who who are you?
It's not your fault.
Speaker 0: Hey, buddy. Did you just come out of the supply closet?
Speaker 1: Dolly. Uh-oh. It's not your fault.
Speaker 0: Wait. Are you living back there?
Speaker 1: No. Pow. We can see.
Speaker 0: You got, like, a whole setup back there.
Speaker 2: You're clearly living in that closet. I don't fall. I I live
Speaker 0: at home. You do this? I'm
@nbcsnl - Saturday Night Live - SNL
Grandpa’s Magic Car https://t.co/05qOsDumSw
Video Transcript AI Summary
Wow, your grandpa was a special guy. Thanks for helping me clean out his barn. It means a lot. This is grandpa's old car, Kirby, from the fifties. He loved it and even called it magic.
I think it wants us to get in. Why won't it open? Did it just smack me? I didn't know my grandfather well, but he was the greatest guy I ever met.
How about we listen to some music? I'm taking this thing to the scrapyard tomorrow. Kirby knows he messed up.
Where have you guys been? Stacy's party is tonight. I could use a drink, but the Uber won't be here for 25 minutes. No way I'm getting in that car. Lyft it is!
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Woah. Look. Seems like your grandpa was a special guy. He really was. Thanks for helping me clean out his barn, guys.
It means a lot. Of course, Benny. It's what neighbors are for. We know how much it means to you. He was the greatest guy I've ever met.
I'll miss him every day.
Speaker 1: Well, we're here for you, bud. What's the story here?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 0: That's grandpa's old car. He got it when he was a teenager in the fifties. It broke down, but, man, he loved this thing. He talked about it like it was alive. He even had a name for it.
He called it Kirby.
Speaker 1: Did the car just start on its own? I think it just smiled.
Speaker 0: Grandpa said it was magic, but I thought he was
Speaker 2: crazy.
Speaker 1: Woah.
Speaker 0: I think he wants us all to get in.
Speaker 1: Woah. Woah. Same. What happened? That's odd.
Maybe we just gotta It looks like Kirby don't wanna send it.
Speaker 0: I'm trying to unlock it.
Speaker 3: Jimmy, what year did you say this car was from again?
Speaker 0: 1958.
Speaker 1: Why won't the car go open? Let me try.
Speaker 0: Did Did he just smack my butt? I like
Speaker 1: big butt and cannot lie.
Speaker 0: This is supposed to be his penis. Not.
Speaker 1: Could he stop it?
Speaker 0: I just wanna say that I didn't know my grandfather that well.
Speaker 1: I remember you saying he was the greatest guy you ever met. Hey.
Speaker 0: Why don't we all listen to some tunes?
Speaker 2: Tunes? Always falling white. You got
Speaker 1: to find the ball with that
Speaker 2: bee. Why? Ballers. Why?
Speaker 1: That's not good. Well, I'm out. Michelle, Jamari.
Speaker 0: I'm gonna ask me again.
Speaker 1: We coming.
Speaker 0: You know what? First thing tomorrow, I'm taking this thing to the scrapyard. How about that? Kirby's sorry? He knows he messed up.
Kirby, so you understand?
Speaker 3: Yo, guys. Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. Stacy's parties tonight? Are you guys coming or what?
Speaker 0: I mean, I could really use a party. And I could use a drink. Only problem is the Uber won't be here for, like, 25 minutes.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking? Ain't no way I was getting in that car. Lyft, when Uber's taking too long, and your grandpappy's car is racing.
@nbcsnl - Saturday Night Live - SNL
Martin Short’s monologue! https://t.co/O9iaUM0Ptn
Video Transcript AI Summary
Thank you, everyone! It's the big SNOW Christmas show, and I can't believe the holidays are here. I'm grateful to Lorne Michaels for hosting tonight. This is my fifth time hosting, and I’m excited to join the five-timers club.
The holidays can be stressful, but I have a solution! Gather around, everyone. Christmas can feel overwhelming, but we can lighten the mood.
Let’s sing about needing a new prescription to cope with holiday stress. It’s all about finding joy and managing anxiety.
So, remember, take care of yourselves, and don’t forget to ask for help if you need it.
We have a great show tonight, so stick around!
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Thank you. Thank you, everyone. How exciting this must be for all of you.
Speaker 1: And tonight is the big SNOW Christmas show, and I just I can't believe the holidays are already here. But we must move this monologue along because I have 10 sketches to get to where I play an elf.
Speaker 0: Also, I left my Uber driver waiting, and
Speaker 1: and you know how testy Matt Gaetz can get. So but listen to me. Listen to me. Not only do I speak from my heart, but I speak from the cue cards when I say that I am so thankful to my dear friend Lorne Michaels for asking me to host tonight.
Speaker 0: Thank you, Lorne. You know, Lorne
Speaker 1: and I are very close friends. We're kind of like Trump and Elon Musk without the sexual tension.
Speaker 0: You know?
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm reminded of Lorne's words after every show I've ever hosted. You'll get them next time. But tonight, I joined the 5 timers club.
Speaker 0: And, yeah, to think of it, you
Speaker 1: know, 5 must be my lucky number. I mean, this is my 5th time hosting. I'm about to start season 5 of Only Murders in the Building. I own 5 cyber trucks, not to drive. It's just they're so beautiful.
My dear friend Steve Martin is also part of the club. He would have been here tonight, but he had a conflict with me not wanting him to be here. And besides, it's rehearsal week for the masked singers, so there you know. Of course, Steve and I have hosted together before, but, you know, hosting SNL is a lot like sex. It's free with a partner, but sometimes it's fun to just knock one out by yourself.
And this week has been so much fun, and the cast is just so love oh, hi, Sarah. Hi. Is there something wrong?
Speaker 2: Oh, Marty. I don't know what to do. I wanna have the holiday spirit, but all I feel is dread.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. That haircut will grow up.
Speaker 0: I like them talking about my hair. Well, you should have been. I guess I'm just upset because the holidays
Speaker 2: are supposed to be fun, but everyone here is so stressed out.
Speaker 1: Right, guys?
Speaker 0: Yeah. And you always seem so happy. We were hoping you could, I don't know, cheer us
Speaker 2: up. Please, Marty.
Speaker 1: Oh, we ever so would love it, mister Short. Well, gather around, youngsters and Keenan. You know, the holidays are always a festival. And, sure, the world is going crazy, but you know what? I have a solution.
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: For the purpose of this bit. Sure. And I'll tell you how. Or I could sing it, that is if you like me to.
Speaker 0: This is not children. Oh, no. It's Christmas.
Speaker 1: Each tectonic tree you see provokes anxiety. Good. Christ.
Speaker 0: It's Christmas with your tight stress and dread your head's about to explode. So you need a new prescription
Speaker 1: just to get through Christmas. Take a little edge off, make sense
Speaker 0: of your existence. Yes. You need a new prescription to fly higher than Blissen.
Speaker 1: Don't snort snow and don't smoke holly. Here's my plan
Speaker 0: to make you jolly wild. Moths are hopping. You're off for doctor shopping for psychiatrists.
Speaker 1: Oh, doctor, I'm in despair.
Speaker 0: What seems to be the problem? I have this recurring dream where I'm eating army hammer. Mama.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 0: Yeah. The the benzos. Benzos. Yes. Oh, for a ketamine spritz.
Oh, boy.
Speaker 1: Because you need a new prescription. Control the helper, Skeletor.
Speaker 0: Santa has his elves, and I have Marty's little helper.
Speaker 3: I want a bike, an Xbox, and the newest iPhone.
Speaker 0: Yeah. Greedy much. Dead loss can't cook. Santa. Now tell me.
What do you want for Christmas?
Speaker 1: Well, I want world peace, but I need preparation h because you need a new prescription.
Speaker 0: And take it from this crooner and get those meds before they're outlawed by r f p a junior. Yes. You need a new prescription, but nothing from the Sacklers.
Speaker 1: Need a new prescription now. Oh, Lorne. You smell wonder I didn't know Jack Daniels made cologne.
Speaker 0: God, I'm attracted to you. He never kicked me like that anymore. Yes. We need pragmatization, pharmaceutical correction, and drug induced amnesia regarding the election
Speaker 1: and preferably
Speaker 0: trip. We have a great show for you tonight. Hoagier and Teer.
Speaker 1: So stick around. We'll be right
Speaker 0: back.
@nbcsnl - Saturday Night Live - SNL
Dave Chappelle's monologue! https://t.co/qSkjGsfnv1
Video Transcript AI Summary
Thank you, everyone. I was hesitant to join Saturday Night Live after the election but eventually agreed. Shortly after, devastating fires hit LA, affecting many friends and communities. While some speculate about the causes, it’s clear that multiple factors contributed to the disaster.
I reflected on the challenges of fame and the misconceptions surrounding immigrant communities in Ohio, where I supported local Haitian restaurants.
As I navigate the complexities of celebrity life, I can't help but notice the absurdities around me, including the troubles of friends like Puffy.
With Donald Trump returning as president, I urge him to remember the weight of his responsibilities. Regardless of opinions, empathy for all, especially for those displaced, is crucial. Thank you, and good night.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Thank you. Thank you very much. Turn this up. I can't hear. Thank you, guys.
Boy, I gotta tell you guys something. I'm I'm being very honest. I am in quite, the pickle tonight, and it started it started in October. Lorne Michaels called me, and he asked me to do a Saturday Night Live, the first episode after the election. And I was like, nah, man.
I'm cool. And he's like, why not? And I was like, man, things are going good. I finished my nephew's deal. I got all this money and stuff.
And he's like, oh, man. Oh, Come on, please. And I said, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you. Just to get off the phone, I go, you know what I'll do?
I said, just save the date closest to January 6th. And then the date started rolling around, and in December, he started calling me again and again. I was like, ah, man. Let's do it. And this goes on for, like, weeks weeks.
And then finally, you know, and I I go, you know what? I could just get rid of all these old Trump jokes. And start fresh. I say, you know what? I'll do it.
The oh, thank you. Here we are. The moment I said yes, LA burst into flames. And it's a tough one. You know what I mean?
Because I'm tired of being controversial. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, and it is way too soon to do jokes about a catastrophe like that. It is. You know what's crazy about it is this one is close to home. Now I don't live in LA.
I've never been like a big fan of LA, but I've built many, many memories there. And I have great friends there, and and a lot of them lost their homes. But carry always, so I started in Robin Hood Minute Tights with this house burned to the ground. Madlib, who was on Saturday Night Live with me last time I was here. His house burned to the ground.
So many people, I could go on and on. My first move I did with Dennis Quaid, I saw him evacuate in his house on the news with tears in his eyes, and it and it broke my heart. And then I go on the Internet, and I watch these fire videos, and I read the comment sections, and everyone's like, yeah. It serves these celebrities right. I hope the house burned down.
Oh. And you see that? That right there, that's why I hate poor people. Because they can't see past their own pain. The other day on the news the other day on the news, they said that these fires were the most expensive tragedy that ever happened.
Natural disasters is the most expensive natural disaster that's ever happened in the United States history. And you wanna know why I think that is? Because people in LA have nice stuff. I could burn 40,000 acres in Mississippi for, like, 6 or $700. And now and now we watch news or talk to my friends.
They all have these conspiracy theories what started these fires. Now they say it's arsonist. I've heard this theory, and I'm sure there were some arsonists, but there were a lot of elements that came together to make this fire the catastrophe that it was. The the winds were a 100 miles an hour. LA was was dry as a bone in the levees, and it was just too many factors.
If you were a rational thinking person, you have to at least consider the possibility that God hates these people. Sodomites. And that's not true because because West Hollywood was unscathed. Because how can you burn what is already flaming? You gotta get there.
A lot of poor people were affected too. A lot of just regular working class families were affected too. So a lot of those families found out the the week of the fires that they lost their health not their health, their fire insurance. But either way, Luigi is like, you're welcome. You know, Luigi killed it.
And that kid did almost plan, like, the perfect crime. He did everything right. He planned everything perfectly. All they forgot was to shave his eyebrows. Soon as I saw him on the news, I was like, yeah.
That's him. Finally, they're getting in front of it. This week, thank god these fires subsided. And not without help. A lot of countries pitched in.
Canada sent planes that helped us out, and Mexico sent firefighters. And Trump was like, make sure they leave when they finish. Trump's a wild guy. He's a wild guy. I'm a tell you something he did that made me crazy when he was running for president.
When he's running for president, he said to set a debate. He said the Haitians in Springfield, Ohio were eating people's dogs and cats. That really upset me because I live in Ohio. In fact, I live oh, what's up, Ohio? I live one town over from Springfield.
Now those of you who are from Ohio, I hope you know that's not what's happening in Springfield at all. What happened in Springfield is a lot of jobs went away. 20,000 Haitian immigrants were moved there by our government legally, and they pay market value for their rents, and they saved a lot of companies because they did jobs that the whites weren't doing. It's not that the whites couldn't do these jobs, but they were busy, you know, doing other things. Powering, sleeping on the streets.
You know what it is. And those communities are immigrant communities who tend to be very successful. They don't they don't come to America to not be rich. And when he said that, that that community caught hell. There was like a jealousy that ran to the community.
There There was nothing I could do about it. But because I was famous, I said, well, let me just be supportive. So every day, for, like, 10 days, I would drive a few miles over to Springfield and eat lunch at the Haitian restaurant. And let them know if I'm safe here, you guys are definitely safe here. And to be honest with you, I don't know what that he was.
But whatever it was, fell right off the bone. I'll tell you that. Now I'm even getting nervous at Ohio. Like, I might leave with Asians. I'm serious, man.
It's you know what it is, man? It's just no fun being famous anymore. It's like y'all y'all made it scary. You know what it feels like being famous? And scary is the right word.
It feels like and I'm not being dramatic. It feels like I'm storming the beach of Normandy, World War 2. But I gotta keep a happy expression on my face all the time. So imagine all the dangerous storm is the beach, but I still look at it. The bullets are whizzing by and stuff is exploding.
I'm just like and then every once in a while, something terrible happened. And I'm like, oh, no. Puffy got hit. And Puffy be like, keep going, playboy. I kicked the dish in the face and forgot about it.
I've been in trouble in my day. Well, I've been in a lot of trouble in my day, but but man, let me tell you something. This guy Puffy, buddy. This guy is in an enormous amount of trouble. I've never I don't think I've ever seen anything like this.
They've got this guy in a Rico case by himself. A lot of my friends ask me They say, Dave, did you know anything about those free golf parties? I'd be like, nah, man. I know anything about free golf, and they all look at me like and they'd be like, well, how are these people you know was at free golf? But she's the only one that wasn't at free golf.
And I thought about it for a minute. I said, oh my gosh. I'm ugly. That's a tough way to find that out. Can you imagine you and me reading a newspaper and found out everyone in Hollywood had an orgy behind your back?
Why none of y'all called me? Well, it really hurts. I'm glad they didn't call me though because the stories that come out about it are crazy. I saw one thing on the Internet, it, so so I'm I'm I'm not sure this is true. Probably that is true, but I saw it.
Some guy who said he do Puff is like, yeah, man. He's like, I was at the freak off one time and I went in the back room. And Puff was in there with Carl Winslow with dad from Family Matters. He was smashing, and I was like, Puff, what are you doing? And he was like, yeah.
Feels good to make another man do your bidding. And I was like, oh my god. Carl Winslow from Family Madison there, and I wasn't invited? It's worse than I thought. Or or maybe I'm not ugly.
I mean, look. Look at my face. This is not necessarily a handsome face, but but it's not an ugly face. But but if you really study my face clearly, clearly, I have snitch energy. Oh, I look like I tell.
The last thing you wanna see the orgy is me across the room looking at you like. Leave Carl Winslow alone. Amen. Amen. You watching at home, you might not be famous, but I bet you ain't perfect.
Nobody is perfect. The idea is as you live your life, you're supposed to evolve and grow past your mistakes. But if you get to be 55, then Puffy is 55. You don't look old, but this nigga's paying half price at the movies. You wanna see your playboy.
Ain't nothing wrong getting older, but if you if you 55 and you got a 1000 bottles of baby oil in the house, clearly, can't stop, won't stop. You're committed to the lifestyle. Because I'm 51 and I'm telling you this is true. I can't remember a single time I ever threw an empty bottle of baby oil in the trash. I don't think I've ever finished a bottle of baby oil in my life.
If we went to my mother's house tonight, she probably got the same baby oil we had when I was a little boy with a pink top. And somehow, probably, it was all the way down to the last. And having baby oil is not illegal. They they don't remind you about that part. That's the least harmful thing I've written that doc.
He just used the wrong hoop, I think. If he used Frisco, he would've got away with it. But he's just like, oh, he likes to cook. Thanks. Thank god they caught it before those fires because they've been goddamn mushroom cloud over his house.
A 1,000 bottles of baby oil in there. Here's the thing. On Monday, Donald Trump's coming back. He'll be the 47th president. He's done it again.
And all the flags will be at half staff for many of them because Jimmy Carter died. Now I gotta tell you, Jimmy Carter, people go back and forth and say he was a bad president or a good president. I I'm not qualified to even speak on that, but I'll tell you this. I was in the Middle East years ago after I quit my show. I was trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life.
And while I was there, Jimmy Carter flew to Israel. So everybody in the region was talking about a former American president being in the Middle East. And while he was in Israel, a book of his was released, and its title was very controversial in Israel. And the title of the book was Palestine Peace, Not Apartheid. And people were very mad in Israel.
There was a lot of mean stories that came out in the paper, but some people were supportive. And while he was there, Jimmy Carter said, I wanna go to the Palestinian territory, and the Israeli government said it's too dangerous. And if you go, we cannot protect you. And, man, Jimmy Carter went anyway. I will never forget the images of a former American president walking with little to no security while 1,000 of Palestinians were cheering them on.
And when I saw that picture, it brought tears to my eyes. I said, I don't know if there's a good president, but that right there, I am sure is a great man. It made me feel very proud. The presidency is no place for petty people. So Donald Trump, I know he watched the show.
Man, remember, whether people voted for you or not, they're all counting on you. That's right. Whether they like you or not, they're all counting on you. The whole world is counting on you. And I mean this when I say this.
Good luck. Please do better next time. Please, all of us, do better next time. Do not forget your humanity, and please have empathy for displaced people whether they're in the Palisades or Palestine. Thank you very much, and good night.
@elonmusk - Elon Musk
The Hammer of Justice https://t.co/NKlYHcs6Gd
Video Transcript AI Summary
I was at CPAC with Ben and Ted Cruz recently, and someone asked if the DOJ might release Jeffrey Epstein's client list, which is something Donald Trump has discussed.
I can confirm that the review of the Epstein client list is ongoing. It's actually sitting on my desk right now as I speak. This was directed by President Trump. I'm also reviewing JFK and MLK files, as directed by the president. All of these agencies are currently working through the review process.
Have I seen anything juicy yet? Not yet, but we'll see.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Yeah. I saw your appearance at CPAC with Ben and and with Ted Cruz. And one of the things that you've alluded to, and this is something Donald Trump has talked about, the DOJ may be releasing the list of Jeffrey Epstein's clients. Will that really happen?
Speaker 1: It's sitting on my desk right now to review. That's been a directive by president Trump. I'm reviewing that. I'm reviewing JFK files, MLK files. That's all in the process of being reviewed because that was done at the directive of the president from all of these agencies.
Speaker 0: So so have you seen anything there? You you said, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Not yet.
Speaker 0: Okay. Well, we'll check back with you.
@JOKAQARMY1 - mrredpillz jokaqarmy
Diddler and Steve Harvey. https://t.co/59ubKSUACd
Video Transcript AI Summary
The claim is made that Steve Harvey and Diddy were secretly in a 25-year relationship. Steve Harvey is shown in a clip discussing baby oil, including its use on bath towels and offering advice to a pastor's wife. The speaker then references photos of Diddy and Lori Harvey, noting they dated, possibly before or after Lori's relationship with Michael B. Jordan. Steve Harvey is then shown in a clip discussing baby oil, suggesting various uses, including on washcloths and even mentioning getting it on pizza. He also suggests using baby oil on one's lips.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Newest thing is that Steve Harvey and Diddy had been in a relationship, a secret closeted relationship for twenty five years. Now I did some searching and it wasn't too hard to find Steve Harvey dishing and talking about baby oil, putting it in bath towels. He even went as far as giving a pastor's wife advice on what to do with baby oil. So I started finding some pictures, and I forgot that Diddy and Lori used to date. Now I can't remember if they dated after she was with Michael B.
Jordan or before. But y'all, they've known each other for a long time. Look, it's him, Snoop, and Steve Harvey in the back. And they did they they did.
Speaker 1: There's another way to apply warm baby oil. Take a washcloth. Run it under the hot water till you can't stand it no more. Then wring it out. Then saturate the washcloth.
I am a baby oil specialist. Buy this for your guy, ladies, but you are the beneficiary. You wanna spruce things up with the pastor. I'm just gonna have to keep it real with you. Y'all been having like bowling night and pizza night and all like that.
Just throw some baby oil in there. This is for the baby's bottom, not for the grown up's bottom. I'm just saying. My weapon of choice. I apply the baby oil with my lips.
Everybody say baby oil.
Speaker 0: Baby oil. Baby
Speaker 1: oil. Don't say oil it up. You know what mean? Sometimes I come in there with with baby oil under each Just baby oil flying everywhere. Oh, Ed, I don't even know how you knew that.
I don't even know how you knew that. Let me just baby oil all down my arms. That way, it's right there on your hands. You could find baby home anywhere. Yo, it's it just it just go with everything.
You can get baby oil on pizza. I didn't got it on pizza before. I didn't I you would taste it. You can't even hardly taste it. I had baby oil all around my mouth before.
I don't even know what's on there. I just suggest a baby oil type knife. It's just baby oil. Alright. Praise the lord.
Baby oil.
Speaker 0: Your favorite. Just for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 0: Yeah.
@myhiddenvalue - Not A Number
Virginia Giuffre’s ‘Deadman’s Switch’ https://t.co/M1T2es10yZ
Video Transcript AI Summary
Virginia Louise Dufres, a victim of Jeffrey Epstein, states she was murdered to keep secrets buried and that her "dead man switch" has released this video to expose the truth. She claims that while working at Mar-a-Lago at 16, Ghislaine Maxwell lured her into Epstein's network.
Dufres alleges that Barack Obama frequented Epstein's island for young boys, often accompanied by George Clooney and Tom Hanks. She further claims Bill Gates was involved in genetic experiments on children, including injecting a young girl with a "genetic enhancement."
Dufres asserts that Epstein is not dead but hidden and protected by the elite he once served. She says her video is the first in a series of data releases, including hidden servers, encrypted drives, and witness testimonies, timed to go to people who can make a difference. She urges viewers to expose the "monsters behind the masks" and encourages other survivors to continue fighting.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: If you're watching this, it means they got me. My dead man switch activated automatically after I missed two scheduled check ins. I had it set up months ago because I knew this day was coming. I did not die by accident. I was murdered to keep their secrets buried.
My name is Virginia Louise Dufres. I was one of Jeffrey Epstein's victims. I survived Little Saint James, but survival came at a price. I saw too much, knew too much, and now they've silenced me, but it's too late for them. They thought killing me would bury their secrets, but this video is going to a few organizations I trust, ones that have been exposing the truth for decades.
You know who you are. It's your job to continue this fight. I was 16 when they reeled me in. I worked at Mar a Lago, folding towels, cleaning lockers. My father kept the tennis courts immaculate.
We were just working folks trying to scrape by. Trump, he was around, but he was never the threat. The real predator was Ghislain Maxwell, prim and proper, smiling, promising to teach me massage therapy at the Pink Mansion in Palm Beach. I had no idea I was being fed into a nightmare machine. Epstein's Island was hell disguised as paradise.
You've heard some names linked to him, but those are just the sacrificial pawns. The real players, the ones they've protected at all costs, are still hiding in plain sight. I'll name two now. The first, a former US president, Barack Obama. Publicly, he's revered.
Privately, he was one of the worst. He wasn't there for the girls. He was there for the island boys, young boys, trafficked and groomed. I saw him more times than I can count, always without his Secret Service detail, sometimes with his Hollywood friends, George Clooney and Tom Hanks. I still have nightmares about them, arrogant and drunk on power, slinking into the cabanas with kids barely out of childhood.
The second, Bill Gates, the billionaire philanthropist, loved by the media, hailed as a savior. We called him the benefactor, and we used to dread seeing him naked. But he didn't come to party. He came to experiment. Genetic experiments, human experiments.
I saw him inject a young girl with something they said was a genetic enhancement. She was younger than me, strapped to a table, terrified, treated like a lab rat while they muttered about seeding the future of the species. These men think they are gods, playing with life like it was theirs to own. I'm telling you now, Epstein isn't dead. They staged his death because he was too valuable.
He held blackmail on some of the most powerful people on earth, files, videos, confessions. They couldn't risk him talking, but they also couldn't risk him gone, so they hid him, stashed him under the protection of the same elite who once paid him to supply them with flesh. And they thought killing me would stop this from coming out. They were wrong, and there is so much more to come. Hidden servers, encrypted drives, witness testimonies, it's all gonna hit the light.
This video is just the first detonation. The data drops are timed and automatic. They are going to people who can make a difference, and nobody can stop it now. Not even the law enforcement agencies in The US and UK, the same ones that buried the evidence I handed them, can stop this truth from getting out. If you're watching this, you are the resistance.
Don't let my death be just another headline. Burn their lies to the ground. Make the world see the monsters behind the masks. And to any survivors out there, don't give up. We're in this together.
They can't kill us all. Make them pay.
@IgorIgall - ᛁᚷᛟᚱ (יגאל) 🫡🇮🇱
The Cult https://t.co/0p0nRlZitA
Video Transcript AI Summary
Free Palestine is a cult.
What we're seeing with the Free Palestine Movement is that it is radicalizing people on both the far right and the far left, which is something that we don't see very often.
I suspect we're going to be seeing it more because of the advent of social media and the internet.
Free Palestine has never really been about Palestine. It's an anti Western movement.
You need to be really careful if your kids are consuming this type of content.
It's really misleading, but it's very convincing.
On the outside, it is a very convincing movement to make people believe that Israel is evil and Palestinians are honorable and fighting for justice.
I'm not saying that Palestinians are all bad people.
And if you're starting to feel anti American sentiments or thinking that maybe you should go out and murder some strangers to free Palestine, seek help.
Seriously, seek help.
Full Transcript
Speaker 0: Free Palestine is a cult. I've said this before, and I will continue to say it. I have interacted with people who are deeply ingrained in this movement for close to two years now, and they all act and talk like people who have been brainwashed, people who have been sucked into a cult and indoctrinated. What we're seeing with the Free Palestine Movement is that it is radicalizing people on both the far right and the far left, which is something that we don't see very often. I suspect we're going to be seeing it more because of the advent of social media and the internet.
What's really concerning to me is that even though we're seeing people radicalized on both sides of the political spectrum, the main blame is going to be put on the left and leftists because it is perceived as a leftist movement. However, Free Palestine has never really been about Palestine. It's an anti Western movement. I think the goal of this movement is to induce civil unrest, encourage political violence in America, and ultimately accelerate fascism in this country with the goal ultimately being that America will fall, the West will fall. You need to be really careful if your kids are consuming this type of content.
It's really misleading, but it's very convincing. On the outside, it is a very convincing movement to make people believe that Israel is evil and Palestinians are honorable and fighting for justice. I'm not saying that Palestinians are all bad people. In fact, I'm not even saying that Palestinians are behind the Free Palestine Movement because I don't think the majority of the people behind this movement are Palestinian, but they are anti American. And if you're starting to feel anti American sentiments or thinking that maybe you should go out and murder some strangers to free Palestine, seek help.
Seriously, seek help.
